Air Source Heat Pumps

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Air source heat pumps.

Boris Johnson is a stupid cunt.
He has decided that every home in Britain should be heated with air source heat pumps.(His Princess NutNut has probably done all the “deciding” for him – Day Admin)

He thinks that the UK would be ‘greener’ that way.
He thinks that he will be reducing carbon waste.
The stupid cunt thinks that he will be saving the planet.

Air source heat pumps are my business.

They are full of a refrigerant gas, usually R410a or R32 which has to be manufactured in huge gas plants.
Those 2 gases, although not as harmful to the environment as other refrigerants, still present a risk and the handling and disposal of the gases is strictly regulated. Each heater will have at least a couple of kilos of gas.
The biggest gas processing plants are in the far East.

The heaters, so as not to rust, will have to be in heavy duty plastic housings.
Within the heaters there will be a PVC heat exchanger.
No heater lasts forever so the significant amount of plastic within each heater will eventually end up as landfill.

The heaters contain copper tubes, much of which as the main metal used in the evaporator, as well as titanium coils within the heat exchangers.
These metals have to be mined and processed.

Although air sourced the heaters need electricity to work, and in the case of heating an average sized home in the UK, a fucking lot of it.
I am not sure how much people in the UK are paying per kw/hr for electricity, but if we assume the price at 20p and the heater will be running for 24 hours a day for 10 months, then the average electricity bill for an average home will rise by over £300 per month.
A lot more depending on the quality of the heater.

China is the world’s largest industrial nation and they really don’t give a fuck about the pollution that they create.

So where exactly are heat pumps manufactured?

Well…. China actually.
Guandong Province mainly.
There are dozens of factories there that are eager to boost their output to satisfy the UK’s obsession of saving the planet.

So, you fat, useless, lazy cunt.
Have you thought this one through?

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

(By the time people realise what a big expensive mistake this idea was, Boris will be in the House of Cunts, well away from all the flack – Day Admin)

89 thoughts on “Air Source Heat Pumps”

  1. People need to stop blaming his cunt partner for this green lunacy. She’s a fucking nobody. Complete distraction.

    This traitorous albino shite stain is taking orders from actual people of significance, people with a plan and end goal that has nothing what so ever to do with being green.

    We’re being led down a narrow path and on to a tightrope over the abyss. The ruling class get to watch it from a safe distance whilst people fall and die.

    New World Order.

    • You’re right there Chunky.

      It’s fuck all whatsoever to do with the fat treacherous cretins goofy tart and everything to do with the billionaire “philanthropists” who have their arms firmly lodged up inside said fat treacherous cretin’s stinking rectum.

  2. Paradise.
    Heat pumps, wires over every pavement, uncharged electric cars stopped everyfuckingwhere.
    We will be green as fuck with everything useful manufactured in China. A fucking masterstroke.
    But wait. This isnt enough. Heed the sainted Grunta Thunderberg – grass huts and veganism is all that will satisfy the young.

    • Our very own eco loon Boris Thunberg can stick his heat pumps up his pale translucent arse along with his low emission zones and leccy cars.
      This cunt has done more in a couple of years to fuck this country than the Luftwaffe could ever manage.
      Even satan himself Tony B Liar must tip his hat at this bumbling hippy fuck.
      No heat pump going in my house,
      No leccy car either.
      Don’t bother canvassing here either!
      Ill pop the kettle on sure enough, but won’t be for a nice cup of tea.
      Itll be to throw in your fuckin face.

    • Save wasting harvested grains and put Greta and her brain dead sheep like followers into the mincer and feed them to piggies.
      Got to keep my supply of bacon & spare ribs flowing.

      Meat eater till I die… up yours you vegan fuckwits !

  3. Good cunting, Artful. Fatso is in favour of this crap, not to save the planet but to save shagging rights over his latest wifelet.
    I know someone who’s got one of these and he says they’re rubbish. Heat pumps be fucked, if I get cold I’ll just put another log on the fire, like I always have.

  4. Where are people who live in flats supposed to site a heat pump?
    I don’t have a hot water tank, my combi boiler uses mains feed, so does this mean I’d have to go to the expense of having one installed?
    What about new build housing with virtually no gardens, no side returns and space for a single vehicle parked off road, where would they put one of these pumps, on the fucking roof?
    Impractical doesn’t begin to cover it!

    • No Jeezum, you’ll have an electric boiler.

      A great piece of kit, 100% efficient, no flue to worry about.

      The only problem is that the unit cost of gas is around 1/5th or 1/6th of electricity. Therefore with the same efficiencies (electric boiler 100%, gas boiler 96%), Your bill will quadruple.

      If this country could produce clean, green, cheap electricity (nuclear power) and the infrastructure was in place then everyone would have an electric boiler. A no-brainer.

  5. Artful,
    Thank you, thank you, thankyou …
    We need the same kind of analysis regarding these fucking stupid electric vehicles.

  6. This is an interesting one for me….I was actually quite keen for a while to have either ground-source or air-source fitted but when I read up on it,as The Artful Cunter says, the electric involved in having a low heat trickling through was ridiculous. As it is, I’ve got a fucking good oil-central heating system that only get put on for a couple late at night and a couple of hours early morning…mainly to make sure the place doesn’t freeze up or get damp….it does go on more when it’s properly cold. I’ve also got a multi-fuel Aga in the kitchen which is going night and day in the winter…there are also open-fires but they are rarely lit…wouldn’t dare,think the crows have nested in the chimney-pots.

    As far as I can understand, I’d still need the oil-fired boiler for when it is properly cold and I’d still have the Aga lit…so can’t see any benefit to burning electric just to circulate luke-warm water the rest of the time.

    Might look in to solar-panels and see if they’re any better.

    • I wouldn’t bother Dick,
      Stick with what you already have.
      Council houses round here had solar panels.
      All moaning now, pidgeons nesting under them.
      And they look a fuckin mess.

      Another ill thought out eco idea.

      • I just liked the idea of “free” heating,Mis…but turns out that it’s far from it. From the little bit I’ve seen about solar-panels,they’re not much better..what’s the point if these new systems can’t deliver heat when you actually need it ? I don’t need a constant “trickle” heat, I need something effective when it is properly cold.

        Don’t care for an overly warm house at the best of times…far rather just pull a jumper on when it’s just a tad nippy.

      • Its a running joke with family and friends about how cold our house is.
        Neither me or the dog like heat,
        And the back door is always open for the dog to go in the garden.
        Sometimes snow has been blowing into the kitchen in winter.😀
        Guests don’t stay long or take their coats off.
        Missus hasnt any Eskimo blood though,
        Whining her fingers are numb,
        Tell her, youve got gloves!
        Make a hot water bottle!
        But don’t touch those settings on the boiler!!!

      • Lord Fidler: as a man who has access to free log wood, a log burning biomass system is the answer.
        The work best with underfloor heating, but do heat hot water and radiators, cheaply.

        I “almost” (😢) bought a 17C Mill in 2019-i has to back out for personal reasons.
        The vendors had a bank of 20 photo voltaic panels and their own spring water and treatment plant.
        Heating and hot water from a log burning biomass system-2-4 burns per week, depending how cold (rural Shropshire).

        Including telephone & household insurance (although I suspect he was under-insured),
        A three floored circa 2000 sq ft house, with a feed in Tartuffe from the solar array, total annual household cost-£120.00 per year😍

        15 acres of fucking woodland as well😢
        I still lament missing out….

      • Recently I was with a guy in his garage. He had solar panels and the inverter was in the garage (solar panels are DC). You would not want it in the house; it makes a constant droning noise. Until the clouds cover the sun. Then it goes silent.

      • Evening,General.

        I was put off bio-mass boilers a few years ago when I foolishly agreed to supply woodchip to a local business…I thought it would just be a matter of throwing some dry hardwood lengths through the chipper…fuck me,it was either too wet,too dry,too small a chip,too large a chip…the woman in charge was constantly on the phone whinging. I got fucking sick at the finish and told her to shove it.

  7. At last.

    Some informed and objective commonsense from an expert and not pie in the sky wishful thinking. We now need some more of this insight in the Mythical Promised Lands of hydrogen and nuclear fusion.

    Thank you Artful Cunter. You’re far too bloody realistic and sensible to ever be listened to by Mr & Mrs Jellyfish but Your Country Needs You !!

  8. I think the Jellyfish wants to stop you bring able to sell your house if you haven’t got one of these ugly inefficient expensive heat pumps installed.
    Fuck right off

  9. “To combat global warming and climate change all buildings should be fitted with air conditioning units on the outside.” *

    Makes a fuck sight more sense than this heat pumps bollocks.

    * Monster Raving Loony Party election manifesto

  10. I wonder what the lifespan of these new wonder heaters will be?
    And more importantly I’m worried about the foreign enrichers being able to afford them.
    I don’t know who’s going to be able to sort it out.
    Is there a Swedish M.0ng who will know?
    Dear dear me.

  11. The Chinese don’t give shit about climate change because they know it’s a scam. They are quite happy to sit back and wait while the West commits suicide. Of course they’re happy to take our money in the process to accelerate our decline, even throwing the occasional word of encouragement and mock sincerity for the cause when we look like we may be having our doubts about it.

    • If the chinķies are smart enough to know it’s a scam then so do our ruling elite.

      We’re being played by people who control both sides.

      It’s not about suicide, it’s about destroying the stable working/middle class life that affords people the time and energy to get smart, realise they’re getting fucked by an elite, and plan an offensive against it.

      It’s about subjugation of human potential to the elites desires.

      • Agreed, the question is, is jellyfish in on it too or is he just a useful idiot (or just an idiot)?

      • He knows what he needs to – compartmentalization is a military strategy.

        I imagine a few truths do filter down through whispers at private functions and the politicians get off on that secret knowledge though. Ol Prince Phil joking about reincarnating as a deadly virus, for example.

    • ‘It’s about subjugation of human potential to the elites desires’

      What the push for heat pumps? Bloody hell.

      • I accept that we need to take measures to protect our planet. What I object to is the government forcing the issue and setting unrealistic deadlines. The changes should be aspirational, not mandatory, and people should be encouraged, not cajoled. And what’s the point when the biggest polluters, India and China, do nothing? They should be looking at a gentle 100 year plan to try and move to a greener planet and developing and funding greener technology which can be phased in over a lengthy period. Instead of that we are told we have to stop driving petrol cars in 10 years and use expensive technology which no one can afford to heat our houses in 5 years. Doomed to failure. Cupid stunts.

      • Maybe you should become a MSM talking head instead of trying to be a comedian, Miles. They pay well for such deliberately obtuse thinking.

        Anyone with a brain can see the wider scope here. It’s not about fucking heat pumps specifically.

    • A scam, just like the millennium bug, which this country spent £2Billion on fixing a non-existent problem.

      • Indeed. For a couple of decades I thought like MMCN but I eventually realized there is no environmental or global warming crisis for the planet. As I’ve said before on ISAC the planet will be just fine and doesn’t give a ha’penny jizz about humanity.
        We should strive to be clean and tidy and not profligate with resources in the ‘dont shit where you live’ tradition but need to stop thinking we control the climate of this enormous planet on which we are a mere thin film at the surface.

  12. The Clown Cunt is made of garbage and shit. You would think the stupid fucker would look shit like this up on the fucking internet before saying it in public, and then tell his commie ‘advisers’ to fuck right off. But no, he is also fucking lazy. What a colossal , shambolic cunt he is.

  13. I am not convinced about heat pumps, even the manufactures say they are not suitable for every home.
    I did some reading on the alternatives to gas central heating and for small home 1 or 2 bed then just replacing the gas boiler with a 9kw electric boiler would do the trick and could be done with a straight swap, ok they require a 10 mm cable but the plumbing is the same.
    The problem with all this shit is shifting away from gas means more leccy required, the ambition on nuclear is poor and fucking wind isn’t reliable.

    Millions of cars charging from the grid, millions of heat pumps running full blast, the governments figures show we will need double the leccy we generate now by 2050.

    Breaking news, RR have secured funding for the mini modular nuclear reactors, the usual cunts don’t like it, they want renewables or more accurately’unreliable’

    • I would add that when gas prices catch up with electricity an electric boiler will be more economical.

      • Reminds me of an old Jap-s Eye cover, in the Thatcher era.
        Maggie, talking to a pensioner in a hospital bed.
        He asks “Why are you putting up gas prices?”
        Maggie’s reply “So you can’t afford that either.”
        If large enough numbers of people have heat pumps, surely the overall ground temperature will slowly be diminished, thus rendering the whole exercise pretty pointless. What if it starts having a harmful effect on geology?
        Large parts of the country could start falling into massive cracks. Have they thought of this??

      • I’d love to get rid of gas – having a fucking UXB in the house scares/pisses me off. Nuclear all the way – all the infrastructure is pretty much there.

        Wind is just a joke. The earth is slowing its rotation, friction. Apparently there were 400+ days a year at the time of the dinosaurs, now we are building huge friction brakes to harvest energy. What happens when the earth slows sufficiently? The atmosphere just floats away (along with everything not strapped down? Free energy it is not.

    • Heat pumps are like electric cars, when a few yoghurt knitters buy them to impress their fellow yoghurt knitters and to virtue signal and let them feel all superior over the oiks, they’re no big deal. When every cunt is forced to drive/install them, the grid will collapse.

    • The R-R mini nuclear reactors are the best news for a long time. Crack on with it and let’s get fracking as well.

      • Much as I wish it were the case, hell will freeze over before we frac our own vast gas reserves. We could be self sufficient in clean energy and repatriate heavy industry if we had the will and the leadership. Instead we have a give of scientifically illiterate cunts.

  14. Forgive me if I misunderstand, Artful Cunter, but you start by saying
    “Air source heat pumps are my business” but then appear to go on to say:

    • they contain environmentally harmful gases
    • they are made from components which are environmentally harmful in an environmentally harmful (“in the Far East by companies that don’t give a fuck about the pollution that they create”) and have a limited lifespan
    • their use will mean “the average electricity bill for an average home will rise by over £300 per month”

    They therefore don’t sound even slightly environmentally friendly, remotely cost-effective or in any way fit for their intended purpose. In fact, you make them sound like a total crock of shit being peddled by a hypocritical Prime Minister.

    Yet “heat pumps are your business” – a bit hypocritical, no? Have you thought this one through?

    • Air source heat pumps are not just used to heat houses.
      And my company do not supply and install them for that use.

      In fact, they are totally useless at heating houses.
      The refrigerant gas needs warm air to turn from its gaseos liquid state into a vapour that can be compressed to heat.
      That process works well at higher temperatures and not at all at very low temperatures.

      The colder it gets, the less efficient an air source heater is.

      At minus 15 degrees the heaters will not work at all, so unless people in the far north of England and the whole of Scotland have a secondary heating system they will fucking die in their beds during the winter.

      I wrote this nom before Johnson gave yet another embarrassing speach at the recent climate change summit.

      He actually pledged to decrease methane emissions by 30% in the coming years.

      Refrigerant gas is basically a mixture of methane.

      • “they will fucking die in their beds during the winter.”

        I think that’s the plan, does wonders for the social care budget.

  15. I would add that ASHPs struggle to maintain heat output and hot water when the temperature drops below zero. With the demand, the heat exchanger can freeze up, so then the unit goes into ‘defrost’ mode, where the heat generated is used to defrost the core. This can happen several times a day. Result – no heating or hot water!

    The answer is to have an immersion heater on the water cylinder to top up the temperature from 40-45 degrees C to 60 degrees C. Result – increased energy costs.

    ASHPs work best on lower heating temperatures, i.e. underfloor heating. If not then the radiators would need to double in size. This ‘technology’ is far from an equivalent replacement for the trusty old gas or oil boiler, IMHO.

    • Almost correct PM.

      An air source heater will go into defrost mode regardless of the temperature.
      This is to stop the condensation which clings to the evaporator from turning into ice on the cold surface.

      A good air source heater will go into defrost mode for perhaps 6 minutes every hour.
      A crap one will need to defrost much more often.

      It’s the same for fridges.
      When you hear them making a noise they are not actually keeping your food cold. They are protecting themselves, and a cheap, crap fridge will need to do that more often than a good fridge.

      Antifreeze mode is where an air source heater shuts down entirety because the air temperature is too cold.

      Not good if you are dependant in it to keep your house warm.

      • Thanks Artful; correct technical description but incorrect terminology.

        The Daikin technicians who service the woefully underperformed VRV system in our office refer to it as ‘defrost mode’. Naturally I will ensure they are pulled up on this.

    • Seems to me though Paul, that underfloor heating has a couple of serious shortcomings. One is that when you put down a carpet it’s a pretty effective insulator and therefore restricts the heat getting into the room and the better the quality of carpet and underlay used the worse the problem. Another point is when it develops a fault. Presumably you would need to remove the furniture, lift the carpet and start breaking up the floor with a tajjer. When I had a radiator spring a leak recently I bought another from B&Q and replaced it, cheap and simple.

      • Spot on.

        The other problem with UFH is that it is slow to adjust to temperature changes, internal (as required) or external (as we have in this country, one day hot, the next day fucking cold).

        I wouldn’t have it if you paid me.

  17. Thanks for the info Artful. Our house is an early 1920s semi-detached in Scotland. We are currently paying bulb £220 a month for gas and electricity. It was previously £190 before the increase. We are always in credit to the cunts who seem to sit on vast sums of money (probably getting interest on it) to “cover us for the winter”. Fuck off.

    The point is there is no transparency of costs from these billing companies. Nobody knows what their profit margins are. The retail costs could be all lies and nobody would ever know. We would freeze to death if we did not have central heating. If you generate your own electricity from solar panels and replace your boiler with a heat pump they’d still find ways to fuck you over with billing, service plans etc.

    Another thing they are doing is hiking the prices up of petrol a week after they changed E5 to E10 petrol. I am now getting less petrol for my £20 a week having to refuel mid-week now. Why aren’t the truckers protesting about that as they did when it was £1.20 a litre in 2010? We need total transparency in billing and no increasing demand by reducing supply in petrol either.

  18. Quite happy to hear the jellyfish talking out of his arse again. His ratings within the Conservative party are very low (19%) and plummetting. Soon Boris is going to be told “Thanks for getting Brexit “sort of” done …….. now fuck off”.

    I really can’t see him lasting a year from now as he is just losing the conservatives votes – and that is one thing they do care about.

    The question now is who next ? Another cunt obviously, but which cunt ?

    • This shite has royally pissed me off.
      Heating pumps to pay for?🖕
      Clean air zones?🖕
      I found out about them, not by government but by the bloke in the petshop.
      This government all over that.
      Drop a working man a extra £4grand bill,
      Let some bloke in a shop tell him.
      Well, ive decided they can fuck off.
      Im not playing. Or paying.
      They can chase me, take me to court, whatever.
      I’ll plead poverty and pay pennies a week.
      I’ll be awkward as fuck.
      I’ll cost those cunts more than theyll cost me, thats a promise.
      Hope Andy Burnham has plenty of parking outside his house?
      Might organise a blockade?

    • I agree…I suspect that he’ll go about a year before an election is called to give time for his successor to promise a “new direction” which will be quickly abandoned if they win.

      • Rishi, doh! Who else has set themselves up as not a complete fuckwit (albeit he is probably a fuckwit). That or Adolf Thatcher may make an appearance from where-ever he/him/they (amidoingitrite?) have been hiding/incubating.

        Doomed I tell ye!

  19. I know absolutely fuck all about the pro’s and con’s of these things but I DO know one thing; if this bollocks ever goes through, some cunts somewhere are going to make the killing of a lifetime while the punters, as usual, fork out and get fucked over.

    • “…some cunts somewhere are going to make the killing of a lifetime”

      A lot of lives are gonna end if this cuntery is allowed traction. How many “winter deaths” of 70+yr olds are annually attributable to hypothermia and associated conditions? Was it 30,000 in a cold one?
      You can safely double that at least.

  20. This headlong rush in the West to “Save the Planet” reminds me of the Elite’s headlong rush to cajole us into supporting entry into the EU in the 70’s. The hardships and negatives are not spoken of or deliberately concealed and genuine popular support is not there – like the EU it’s another elite vanity project. As such, just as our membership of the EU Reich, it will end in tears when people realise they have been sold a croc of green shite.

    • The archived cabinet memos and minutes from that era show they clearly knew the outcome (loss of currency, sovereignty, etc).

      Decades down the line the public can go look it up in the national archives, as if that somehow absolves these crooks from the guilt of having deliberately lied and concealed the true agenda.

      Fucking cunts. They knew, and they know now what is really going on. They all ride on the hope they’ll be long dead, after a sweet tax payer funded retirement of course, when people start asking questions or demanding justice.

      • We lost our currency?
        Fuck, no one told me fuck all about it. And I thought we were still a sovereign nation, even before Brexit.

      • They knew in 1970 of the plan for monetary union and federalization. That was before the EC referendum.

        You should join Miles on the reporters desk. Obtuse cunt.

  21. If they don’t work in cold conditions simply put them inside a nice warm house, not outside. Problem solved.

    • Next to the perpetual motion and anti-gravity machines you mean 😉

      By the way, the same fallacious logic is a cornerstone of greenhouse theory. Technically called radiative forcing, in simple terms they double count the heat re-radiated from the atmosphere.

    • The environmental movement didn’t have to go into woo, but it has, all thanks to the media and thick-as-fuck politicians adopting the new woke brand of environmentalism and pushing it like some middle-class religion.

      Back in the 70s and 80s it had serious people lending it their voice.

      Now it’s done by weird little Swedish kids, luvvies and royals in private jets and hysterical BBC presenters like Justin Rowlatt and Liz Bonnin.

      It has lost all intellectual credibility.

      SMFH.

  22. I know fuck all about these pump thingies but I know there’s a big flock of vultures waiting to feed off the taxpayer. They may be green, with green eyes and green beaks but they’re the same old vultures that are always there, waiting for their pickings.

  23. My current gas and leccy tariff on a fixed until the end of Jan for gas is 2.5p per KWH and will go to a fraction under 4p, daily standing charge doubles from 13p to 26p.
    Leccy isn’t as bad 15p to 20p standing charge 18p to 26p.
    And we are heading for another rise in April

    Just wait for Marcus fucking Rashford to step in to subsidise the bone idle and irresponsible (from the taxpayer)

    Anyone who can’t afford to live in the UK cos it’s too expensive, send them to Calais and the Polish/Belarus border and tell them not to bother coming 😂

    We need cheap gas and electricity, fuck the green bullshit!

  24. LOL … it’s funny how desperate people do and say desperate things. The fact of the matter is that humanity has a right good go at fuckin’ up the planet. The endless fuckwittery along with naturally occurring climate change shot past the tipping point ages ago. There was always gonna be a time when the future looked bleak because that’s just how it is … unfortunately, that time has gotten here a bit quicker than anticipated. Could human activity be the reason … don’t know … maybe … probably. Seems to me that the obvious thing to do is take the pressure off of the system for a bit along with cleaning up our act. Clearly there’s too many fuckin’ people around … a bit of self control with regards to breeding could ease the situation but that ain’t gonna happen so fuck it … if no ones willing to do the obvious I’m not gonna do anything that helps them cunts that won’t help themselves.

  26. As for solar panels they probably have a “payback time” of 20 years and a lifespan of 25. Apart from making your house look like it’s meant to be in downtown Beirut they are a waste of money.

    If electricity gets too expensive or unreliable you’d be better off going “off grid” with one of these babies (run on central heating oil and with some backup batteries):

    https://www.generators-direct.co.uk/silent-and-diesel-generators/hyundai-dhy8000selr-diesel-generator-long-run

    Way cheaper than solar panels 😀

  27. From what I understand about these plans, that nobody voted for, they will be enforced through house sale, letting and mortgage transactions (starting in a couple of years time, I understand):

    https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/article-9080199/Is-property-market-facing-ticking-time-bomb.html

    There is a way forward though. Just get a hooky EPC certificate, bribe the assessor or take the piss with the assessment. I read online (this shite is already affecting rental properties) that an owner got the required rating by ripping the heating out of house and replacing it with oil electric storage heaters that didn’t work! Treat this rubbish with the contempt it deserves!

  28. The air source pump is put outside. It’s worth a lot of money.

    They’ll be getting nicked all the fucking time. And Johnson is saying he’ll offer grants of 5 grand to every cunt to fit one.

    That magic money tree strikes again.

    • The high pressure refrigerant escaping will be a bit tricky but I’m sure the pikeys will figure it out.

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