“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee reporting. Today I’m joined by Sir Peter Arseley MP, to discuss his recent comments regarding MPs’ pay”
“Actually it’s Bottomley, old son”
“Er, indeed. Now Sir Peter, you’ve gone on record about what you regard as the ‘desperately difficult’ financial problems facing MPs on their £82k a year salary, plus expenses of course. Given that you find it hard to see how they ‘manage’ on this, you’re calling for an increase to a salary of £100k. How can you possibly justify this at this time?”
“Well you know Mr Ankle, I regard being an MP as a tremendous honour, but it’s also a tremendously difficult and demanding job, requiring a unique set of skills. Such ‘general practitioners of politics’ must be properly remunerated”
“Really? What is this ‘unique skill set’ of which you speak?”
“Well for example, you have to employ people to do research and draft replies to moaning constituents. The pressure’s awful when you’ve got relatives constantly badgering you to find a sinecure for their idiot offspring. Then you’ve got to read boring reports and attend tiresome committees, turn up occasionally to speak in the House and vote the party line, give interviews and be available to go on Question Time at the drop of a hat…”
“…stuff your face in the subsidised bars and restaurants of the Commons, seek out lucrative directorships… tell me, is also having no previous experience of working life and a degree in PPE considered an advantage?”
“I say! Those remarks are uncalled for and I resent them!”
“Oh dear. Sir Peter, we live in hard times. The average salary in Britain is £32k. People are seeing their incomes squeezed by price increases to fuel and food, and rising taxation. I don’t think the working public, especially those in really stressful occupations like nurses, firefighters, paramedics and the armed forces, will take kindly to the supposed plight of MPs”
“It’s as I said, MPs play a uniquely important role in national life. Let’s face it, anybody can become a nurse or a squaddie, these jobs are ten a penny”
“Pardon? Are you seriously suggesting…”
“Er, sorry old chap, there’s my pager going off. Reminder that I’ve got a vital meeting soon with Sir Thursby Churlish, the Minister of Bureaucracy and Regulation; spot of afternoon tea with him and his good lady wife, the fragrant Araminta. Must dash”
“Thank you. I’m sure that IsAC followers will be totally convinced by the veracity of your argument. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”
Nominated by: Ron Knee
And seconded by: CuntyMort
AHHH poor diddums, just a morning piss boiler for your enjoyment. £82,000 p.a plus expenses? Your having a laugh aren’t you? Fuck me, the most I ever earned was 30,000. Mrs CuntyMort and I managed just fine.
Sir Peter, If you are struggling may I make a suggestion? Try living within your means you avaricious cunt. Every fucker else has to do the same in the U.K
It’s about time the free loaders in the HofC did the job for the honour like they did years ago. Fucking politicians, boil my piss worse than watching the BBC
I don’t see any shortage of cunts queuing up to get into the House of Useless Parasites so if Sir Bollockface doesn’t like the pay and conditions he can fuck off somewhere else.
Whining fucking entitled cunt.
13
We should do what they do in Singapore. Pay enormous wages and bonuses to get people who actually know what they are doing rather than the useless shower of shit we have to put up with.
13
Singapore is our one non native, non dominion successful colony. If I was rich enough I would live there, it is the closest place to paradise on earth.
2
Bottomley’s turban lacks a peak.
6
He should have “blacked up” and adopted a Spike Milligan Indian accent👍
13
‘Put him in the curry!’
10
Now you know what’s wrong with the curry.
Is his wife Vagina Arsely?
Can’t get by on 82 grand? Who’s blackmailing him?
4
It’s been said by many that by wearing a certain type of Sikh headwear it is possible to reach a higher state of consciousness.
It’s not true though, it’s just a turban legend….
18
I, being a cunt asked a Sihk I worked with what the reaction would be if I wore a turban. Said he I would be regarded as a stupid twat and be laughed at, as so with this troughing cunt.
6
Poor little Peter. 😢 Poverty is a terrible thing.
Not seen much of Virginia recently… she were quite a hot little bitch back in the ’80s.
Their daughter was a bit of a ‘wild child’, apparently.
https://www.thefreelibrary.com/GINNY%27S+GIRL%2C+14+IN+BOOZE+SCANDAL%3B+Bottomley%27s+daughter+suspended+for…-a061305955
Hur, hur.
6
The link fucked, but here’s the text from 1996:
Virginia Bottomley’s teenage daughter has been banned from her top public school for boozing.
Adela Bottomley, 14, was sent home in disgrace and suspended for swigging beer at the school gates.
Last night, Heritage Secretary Mrs Bottomley and her Tory MP husband Peter were left deeply embarrassed by their daughter’s under-age drinking. The Minister was nicknamed “Nanny” when she lectured the nation as Health Secretary – and launched a campaign against teenage tippling. Adela was one of 13
pupils disciplined for drinking beer and wine near pounds 8,000-a-year King’s School, Canterbury.
She spent three nights at home and went back to school before the mid- term break.
The school’s head teacher, the Reverend Keith Wilkinson, said: “There is a problem nationally with alcohol abuse.
“Young people get very conflicting signals from adult society because it is so freely available and available in homes.”
Adela, the youngest of the Bottomleys’ three children, is a third-year boarder at the 700-pupil school in the precincts of Canterbury Cathedral.
She and 12 other pupils, aged 14 and 15, were suspended after being found with alcohol in three separate incidents.
Five were spotted drinking beer near the school on a Saturday afternoon.
Three were caught drinking the following Saturday and five were carpeted after being found with beer and wine shortly afterwards.
Mrs Bottomley learned of Adela’s suspension as the Tories prepared for their Bournemouth conference.
The Rev Wilkinson ordered a lecture on alcohol abuse before the half-term break.
He is now on holiday and is not expected to return until next week. But following the suspensions, he said: “I do take it very seriously.
“It is against the school rules and we don’t wish to encourage or condone alcohol use or abuse.”
Adela is a keen pianist and is due to play in the under-15s hockey team when she returns after the break.
The Bottomleys’ other children are Joshua, 29, a management consultant, and Cecilia, 27, a junior doctor.
Both parents list their interests in Who’s Who as “children and family”.
Last night Mr Bottomley said: “We do not want or expect special treatment from the school.
“Our child acknowledges the wrong behaviour. The school and the parents have dealt with the incident.”
King’s, Britain’s oldest independent school, celebrates its 1,400th anniversary next year.
7
Ruff-Virginia was definitely “hot-to-trot”😉
I met her a few times.
At a function, she was talking to a few of us, put her hand on my shoulder, then it went slowly down my back, coming to rest on my arse. The naughty minx.
She had a “glint” in her eyes-perhaps the ultimate posh mid, back in the 90’s👍
9
A milf by any other name! 😛
4
And her husband looked the type who would have been peeking through the bedroom door keyhole, wanking😉
12
You lucky bugger, she was a prominent member of my fantasy wank bank.
4
Woof woof!
I must admit that I knocked out the odd one to my Virginia ‘posh totty’ fantasy as well. In my sordid imagination, a bit of ‘posh’ always goes like a fucking train; pure filth.
6
He’s just claimed over 15k in expenses this year. Quite low compared to many others.
However, he owns three homes and see to be knee deep in major shareholding of rental property companies.
Another fucking Tory loving all this ‘diversity’ because it increases property value.
Cunt.
Let’s have a whip round for the 100k per year property management pauper.
7
That header pics a corker.
The sihk bloke pulls it off,
But Peter doesn’t suit a turban!
Looks like Ali Bongo.
When not wearing bedding on his head Peters times taken up seeing how much from the public purse he can plunder
The greedy old twat.
When our new overlords bring in Sharia law I’ll take great pleasure at watching you have your hands cut off Peter.
I’ll even offer to cauterise the stumps!
Free, like.
Im not a grabbing cunt like you.
11
It just never, ever ceases to amaze me just how far out of touch this cunt and his ilk are with the lives of Joe Soap.
He should try getting a job as a hospital porter and see how he manages; keep your mansion running on that take home pay, you cunt.
10
The Politicians are like nappies statement should be changed to..All Politicians should be fucking shot.
1
He looks a bit like my uncle Bob did, just before he croaked.
4
Your uncle Bob used to wear a turban?
2
If he did wear a turban he kept it under his hat.
No, I was referring to his stupid expression and the way he’s peering over his glasses. He’s a goner, I’m telling you.
7
No doubt this fucking dolt is a stooge put up to float the idea of a huge pay rise.
Then when they take 8% they can bray about how “we are all in this together” and other such vile bilge.
I’d rather have Idi Amin running the mad house.
Fuck Off.
9
Yep. Oven at 1,000 degrees centigrade.
7
Never liked this prick.
3