Cutlery Etiquette

Improper use of cutlery.

Ads for pre made meals as in dinner for lazy middle class cunts or calorie controlled meals for dim fat cunts and those ones for pre-portioned ingredients to make yourself dinner at twice the price of a shop and several times more the packaging waste (a cunting for all those later).

Without exception none of the actors use a fork properly and it severely gets on my tits.

Even though I’m a working class colonial descended from highland barbarians I was brought up to use cutlery properly not to hold a fork in my right hand not use it “as a shovel” as mum used to say.

Left hand, tynes inverted or you may as well shove your face into a plate like a dog or eat on the floor with your hands like a rug pilot. It’s little things like this that signal the end of civilisation FFS.

Also using a spoon in your left hand NO!

I’m sure there’s a God that act particularly riles, most likely Yasur and he will punish you.

Nominated by: Shackledragger cunt

118 thoughts on “Cutlery Etiquette

  1. Ate what way ye wants, shower of trotter smelly cunts the the lot of us
    I’m not starring in Downtown Abbey
    So fuck off Charles and let William be the successor
    Fucking wastin my time, given advice to the all knowing

  2. Last time I was in the UK I thought that knives and forks were a thing of the past, as everyone was using their grubby fingers. Table manners thrown out the window. However, the most disgusting practice of all, the one that absolutely boils my piss, more than the knowledge that Sir Colostomy Cliff still hasn’t been lifted by Yew Tree, is people who eat with their fucking mouth open! What the fuck is wrong with you people!! FFS, it’s like watching a fucking cement mixer! Apparently, it’s the done thing here in Asia. Was in a restaurant watching this absolute stunner sat at a table. An absolute picture of poise and grace……..until she started eating! Watching those Shrimp being macerated between those pearly white teeth was a real erection killer!

  3. This is an excellent nom, one I had intended to put forward.
    Eating whilst holding a knife like a fucking pen super heats my water, especially when holding a fork like a shovel and asking the waiter/waitress “ can I GET another bottle of wine. Absolute cunts.

  4. How about the peacefuls eating with their hands all the time? Nice. This has probably been mentioned in the non but I can’t be arsed to read 110 replies.

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