Don’t fear the Reaper

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(Cue guitar intro to Blue Oyster Cult… yeah! – Day Admin)

A rather short cunting for The Grim Reaper.

In the last week the following all round good eggs have died:
Sir Clive Sinclair (81), Jimmy Greaves (81) and John Challis (Boycie from Only Fools and Horses) (79).

Of course I didn’t know them personally and they might have been right swines on occasion but they were all good at what they did.

Many years ago Spectrum programming legend Jonathan Smith and Frank Sidebottom died within a week of each other. 2 of my teenage heroes gone. Dead.

It isn’t fair and it isn’t right that good people die too early. I wish I had a cloak of invisibility so I can evade this cunt for as long as possible.

Nominated by: Anton Pillar

81 thoughts on “Don’t fear the Reaper”

  1. I may open a funeral home. I think the business model is sound as people are just dying to get in those places. Could make a killing!

  2. No one gets out of this alive. Doctors have a 100% failure record as my Dad who was a doctor used to say.

    • Everyone and everything dies.
      Just the way it is.
      Something to look forward to isnt it?!😁
      Family & friends, pets , im sad.
      Celebrities, if im honest I don’t give a fuck.
      Although was sad at the death of Muhammad Ali and Bowie.
      And for Don Estelle.
      Poor little cunt died without a pot to piss in.
      But for some?
      Fuck em.
      I won’t miss the cunts.👆

      • Tired GG, busy week this ,
        and ive got to go down South tomorrow, which always depresses me.
        I’m going to Oxford ☹️
        A chump at Oxford!
        But out on the piss this weekend!
        Lads night out👍
        Cant wait.

  3. If I were you I would be hoping for a peerage and a place in the House of Cunts. It is rammed full of nearly eight hundred mostly decrepit extras from The Walking Dead. The only problem would be the Grim Reaper mistakenly thinking you are sleeping off a long lunch when you have actually died, slumped in the leather wingback by the fire.

  4. Jimmy Greaves didn’t have much quality of life for the last few years, Sir Clive Sinclair died after a long illness.

    Death isn’t the problem, it’s how death calls you that is. We are all born to die, most of us don’t get to leave a mark on history whilst we are here. Age draws you towards your terminal destination every moment but many of our moments of living are spent just trying to survive.

    Deep shit that philosophy tackles much better than I can.

  5. Life is far to short. Drink, Drugs and Pussy.
    Peter stringfella had it right. Burn the candle at both ends. You dont know when your number is up.. Rock hard Rock heavy Rock Animal.

  6. Those mentioned had a reasonably good innings as far as age is concerned, but its sad nonetheless. Seeing our heroes from younger days pass on is a painful reminder that we ain’t getting any younger. As my father in law says ( he’s late seventies ). Just wait until your old school mates start snuffing it, that really must be a proper fucking reminder. Sadly, it would definitely seem that only the good die young, as the likes of Fat Reg, Macca etc amply demonstrate.

    • What about these ‘near-death experiences’ RT? The people feel they see a light and an intense calm possesses them. What do you think?

      • What do I think? I think it’s the unnecessary pain and suffering just prior to death that is the real cunt.

        Hopefully assisted dying will be legalised in the near future.

      • In Waugh’s ‘Love Among The Ruins’ there is a ‘Ministry of Euthanasia’.
        You would go for a job there if it became real?

      • Damned right, and I’d put my name down to be ” helped to a peaceful death” in a heartbeat.

      • I wonder does your whole life flash before you

        I always have the feeling it’s the other way around
        When born and the doctor smacks your bum the scream you make is the flash of thought of the imminent life ahead of you

      • Evening LL.

        Your warm sentiments much appreciated, hopefully it won’t come to that, too much expense and bureaucracy involved.

        An overdose of morphine or self administered bullet to the brain would be my preference.

        @ Miles. I am not in favour of involuntary euthanasia by the State.

        I am in favour of assisted dying/assisted suicide/voluntary euthanasia, where a person makes a conscious decision to end their life and asks for help to do so.

        Be seeing you.

      • As you wish Ruff. Do you still want to chucked on the compost with the leaf mould?

        (If Ruff gets the timing right he could end up in a green refuse wheelie bin in time for the next collection to the council’s own compost heap! – Day Admin)

      • As stipulated in a previous nom, I will be going in the black bin.

        Our council takes a dim view of food products or dead bodies in the brown bin.

        Am sure the local wildlife will benefit from my presence at the local landfill site.

      • I had a near-death experience Miles, aquaplaning on the M40 at Loudwater. Didn’t feel intense calm though, rather I near shat myself.

    • I have watched 2 or 3 close relatives die in a hospital/hospice bed due to cancer. On all occasions they went “peacefully” due to the doctors bumping up the morphine injections in order to make them “comfortable”

      Whether they did die peacefully from their pov is of course moot, but it would be fascinating if they were self-aware of their condition/surroundings and that they were preparing for their last moments.

      We will all have one final day, one final sunrise, one final whatever before the lights finally go out for good.

  10. My neighbour was killed recently. They reckon he was smothered to death by a 19 year old French lingerie model with a massive pair of tits.
    Police said there was no sign of a struggle….

    • Damned right, UT!
      Lemmy caned the ever-loving shit out of his body for 50 years, bottle of Jack a day, 40-60 fags a day, tons of amphetimines and somehow lasts until 69!
      But my old man, fit as a fiddle, never smoked, hardly drank, also dropped dead at 69 from heart failure.
      No way of predicting these things.
      It’s why I’m not overly concerned about my naughty substance use.

  13. Life is shit it’s just something we all have to endure, I know some people prefer suicide but it’s never appealed to me.
    But knowing my luck ( or lack of it ) I’ll live to be 100

    • And you’d be getting a card from His Maj, King Charlie the Chimp boy. Not worth living for if you ask me.

  15. GERTRUDE

    Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted color off,
    And let thine eye look like a friend on Denmark.
    Do not forever with thy vailèd lids
    Seek for thy noble father in the dust.
    Thou know’st ’tis common. All that lives must die,
    Passing through nature to eternity.

    HAMLET

    Ay, madam, it is common.

  16. It makes a change for it to not be bum-bandit faggots, like it was back in 2018 with Georgie Porgie and whonot.

    (Yes, I haven’t posted for a while, but I’m still very actively a resident mordant-gay-fascist misanthrope.)

  17. We begin to deteriorate as soon as we’re born. We play the cards we’ve been dealt in the best way we know how, and then we die. There’s no getting away from it, so why should we try? Life has no intrinsic meaning or value and the best way of dealing with the problem of over-population on this planet is to legalize assisted suicide clinics. Or we can commit ourselves to the struggle to delay the inevitable.

  18. Johnathan Smith was a gilt edged, 100% genius and a hero of mine too along with the might God, Sir Clive Sinclair.

    So sad to see clever people die and true pioneers in their field too.

  19. When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains
    When the women come out to cut up what remains
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
    And go to your gawd like a soldier

    Fuck you Biden. Fuck you Johnson. Fuck all you butchers.

  20. Life might not be the party you wanted to attend, but you might as well dance to the music whilst you’re here.

  21. Speaking of death I see they have arrested some cunt for killing that Peaceful bird in Kidbrooke. Turns out he has a Peaceful name. Oh dear…..that wasn’t supposed to happen was it? I heard his name on the radio about 3.30 yesterday afternoon. The next 4 or 5 half hourly bulletins mentioned the arrest but the name had been dropped. I wonder why? Same as the MSM don’t want to tell us about what has happened to poor old Slasha Johnson. Black killing black, Peaceful killing Peaceful, not a story.
    Only whitey going about his evil racist ways is a fucking story.

    • He had an Albanian interpreter in court with him.
      The cunt.
      (That good old fashioned British name, Koci Selamaj, is the geezer in question according to the BBC – Day Admin)

      • Indeed. And the cunt lives in Eastbourne. Stranger murders are very rare and the cunts don’t usually travel very far to carry them out. It seems there is some kind of connection here.
        Watch the media lose interest in this very quickly. Sounds like this bird was far too “westernised” for some people’s taste.
        Not a story. Doesn’t fit the agenda.

        (There’s a nom on this very subject that just popped in, so we will get that sorted as soon as. In the interim can we get back on topic please. Thanks – Day Admin)

  23. When I check out I dont want a state funeral.
    Seeing as Fiddler is paying for my funeral I want to keep the price down, not take the mick.
    6 plumed black horses pull the cortege through a eerily quiet Stockport,
    The occasional sob from a heartbroken lady or landlord,
    Flags flutter at halfmast.
    The pipers play a mournful dirge as the road is scattered with black rose petals.
    The 7ft black oak coffin is lifted by grief stricken Robinson brewery workers,
    Ashen faced they mount the dais.
    The arch druid lights the funeral pyre,
    The sky churns with thunder,
    The Gods are angry at the taking of their favourite son.
    ⚡💥Zap!!
    Lighting lashes out,
    Even the heavens weep.
    As my body is enveloped by the flames,
    My last wishes are granted
    50 asylum seekers stare from the wickerman as its also set alight theyll be my slaves in the afterlife.

    So yeah, quiet dignified affair for me.

    (Will Lord Fiddler inherit your country cream artisan-made garden gates? – Day Admin)

    • Nothing ostentatious, then.
      As you’ll be probably dead by the time check out. I’ll not invite you to my Viking funeral, then.

    • Evening admin,👍
      Naw, my gate goes to the British museum.
      So others can enjoy it without touching.
      Fiddler gets my 70s porn stash,
      Hes always envied it.
      LL gets my Colombo mack
      And my 2pint tankard Jack the cunter.
      I haven’t anything else to bequeath being a humble man.

      Maybe you should start a gofund me for me?
      😀
      Tell everyone about the time I saved those orphans from a fire!
      Bravely running back into the flames to put back the Pakistani one!

      • I am touched by your warm generosity, MNC.
        So much so, that I have instructed my executors to pass on my lead loaded shillelagh to you, in the event of my passing.
        My funeral will be a simple affair …..
        Load coffin into Land Rover.
        Travel to cemetery.
        Get planted in family plot.
        Anyone who wants to say a few words, go ahead, good or bad. I don’t give two fucks.
        Buffet at boozer that we always use on funeral occasions.
        No vicar or other sky fairy representatives allowed.
        The End.
        If you listen to the wind, you may still hear me say …
        Get To Fuck.

  24. It’s not death I fear.
    It’s the absence of being.

    It’s not death I fear,
    But the pain of dying.

  25. It is a simple matter of waste disposal / recycling and your religion (or lack of it) decides which colour wheely bin you go into.

    After a very close call and some serious hospital time, I used one of those online calculators to work out how long I was expected to live. (For a while I had it on my desktop as a count down timer, but I noticed wifey taking a bit too much interest in it, so I filed it a bit more discretely.)

    82.6 years was the answer (because, even though it was only me and the keyboard, I still lied about my occupation, weight, diet, level of fitness, alcohol consumption and number of fags each day).

    Armed with that knowledge, (just 8,285 more sunrises expected for me), herewith my Deadpool submission for September 2044:

    Gunner Sugden
    Mrs Sugden (it might be a car crash or house fire; the app didn’t say)
    Sir David Attenborough
    Dolly Parton
    Baroness Shemima Begum of Benghazi

  26. 1 to 4 fine.
    5, if her foot ever touches English soil again, it had better been severed at the ankle.

  27. I’ve experienced what amounts to death and saw my life flash.
    On Friday 13 1968 I dived into the shallow end of a pool in Singapore breaking my neck in 4 places with 2 sublications.
    After it broke I was paralysed but floating face down. It was at this point I realised that I was going to drown. So after holding my breath for what seemed like forever I succumbed and sank to the bottom.
    I obviously survived with the kids of life and a year later after operations I left hospital. Here I am and still a cunt.
    For what it’s worth I’ve heard that people drowning don’t have their lives flash, bollocks mine did. I still fear the reaper I’m afraid but put that down to excess marijuana in the 70″s.

  28. The majority fight death until the last. Even those that attempt suicide. Traumatic death is horrible, cardiac arrest resus is brutal, hence DNACPRs as some are too frail. Chest compressions on a frail, 80 yr old is vile. The ribs crack – you feel them go, the family look at you dumbstruck and with vain, mostly, hope, they have adjuncts down their throat, wires attached. It’s not like you see on TV – you don’t fucking shock asystole you cunts – it’s brutal. Even worse on children, but, let’s not go down that path. Very few survive an out of hospital cardiac arrest. Mind, bloke in the back of the truck, recently, having a heart attack, went into VF, two shocks, a few chest compressions – ROSC! Blued straight to the heart institute! Jammy, jammy bastard. Sorry for the venting, it’s been a bad couple of weeks, mostly very sick kids.

  29. When is that utter cunt, Katie Price going to cark it?

    Also, add Madogga, Megain Ducjhess of Cunts, and Phoebe Waller Cunt.

  30. If I knew that I would have lived as long as I have I would have looked after myself better.
    A bottle of Scotch a day, 40 B&H a day has taken its toll on my sex life so that I am struggling to satisfy my local prostitutes.
    Only the good die young. The state of this country makes one want to lose the will to live.
    Good night and G0d bless.

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