Christmas Dinners Stuffed

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Doom mongers are cunts. So Christmas may be cancelled because there ‘might’ be a shortage of poultry. What a load of shite. I agree the dinner is a massive part of it but surely this does not warrant this type of reaction?

Christmas will still be happening in my house without poultry.

Fuck off.

Oh, and Sky News are cunts too. The headline reads ‘Christmas’ but scroll down and it says ‘Christmas Dinners.’ So Sky News is using clickbait the cunts.

Nominated by: Cock Blanket

64 thoughts on “Christmas Dinners Stuffed”

  1. They’re starting their no turkeys at Christmas bullshit a little early this year aren’t they? This Rajit Singh Gandhi cunt can fuck off. Yeah, of course he wants more immos, more cheap Labour so he can get even richer. I’ll just follow the immos example……roast Swan for me this year! Fuck you Gupta.

    • “Cold turkey, has got me,
      ……on the run …”

      Stiff upper lip chaps.
      Dont be a bottler like John Lennon moaning his Christmas dinner is cold.
      No Bulldog Spirit see?
      Its bollocks.
      If I cant get turkey for Christmas Boris, you dithering twat
      Ill eat one of your beloved afghan immos children.
      Youve been warned.
      Mess with my Christmas dinner?
      Wont just be me it ends in tears for.

      • To be fair Yoko had never cooked a Christmas dinner before.
        Shes Japanese, more used to traditional Japanese pasttimes,
        Mistreating prisoners of war and harpooning whales etc.
        But that’s what happens if you marry a bird based just on her good looks and fantastic singing voice rather than her culinary skills.

    • Doesn’t Madge own all the swans? You’ll be transported to the colonies if you dare eat one, a life of shite lager, stinking hot summers, surrounded by smelly bogans, angry natives.and vicious black swans

      • Madge does own a proportion of the swans but some are owned by Honourable Companies hence the practice of Swan Upping which is not what some of the more perverted members of this site imagine.

  3. I’ll get my turkey from the local farm, where their necks are wrung. More humane than suffocating the poor cunts.

    Turkey schmurkey.

  6. I suppose the vegans will be happy with this news.

    Pity there couldn’t be a Brussel sprouts shortage – fucking hate sprouts. They’re Satan’s haemorrhoids!

  7. I suppose the dinghy raiders will be getting turkey for dinner in their 4 star hotels. They won’t appreciate it the cunts. They’d be much happier with curried goat, roast camel and dead scorpions.
    Bastards.

  8. I’ll put my Santa hat on and have a yard of ale.

    The media are cunts and Bernard Matthews rots in the ground.

  9. It’ll be a Christmas tree crisis next. Or a toy crisis, cranberry sauce crisis, tinsel shortage woe for millions crisis etc etc etc. Why wet your pants over a lack of overpriced, dry and flavourless meat you don’t buy any other month of the year anyway? Better off treating yourself to something you wouldn’t usually splash out on. Our media are an out of control, scaremongering bunch of fake news cunts.

    • Radios, TVs, the internet should be turned off at 8pm. Newspapers burned in the road as a protest to the bullshit we are being fed by these cunts.

      • Government interference with the news outlets is not something I’d usually advocate, but something has to be done. More and more we see journalistic prophecies becoming self fulfilling, like this fuel bullshit.

  10. Turkeys are definitely off the this Christmas as Brexit means that the East European labourers who feed the birds have fucked off home to feed their own turkeys, cunts. Obvs not lazy cunt here can be arsed to do it when bennies are in such plentiful supply. Turkey farms nowadays look like fucking Belsen thanks to the UKIP Nazis.

    Christmas can be saved, however, as some cunt told me that you can get dinosaurs made out of turkey from Farm Foodz. They come ready stuffed with ketchup. So the meeja can fuck of with the made up scare stories.

    Good nom. Good morning, everyone.

    • The Farm Food comment is a classic…they have all the classy customers round here after they have eaten their McDonalds rat burgers.

  11. PS Insert ‘menu’ in line one of above posting, or up your arse if you prefer.

  12. What about those cunts with lights all over their houses, burning up energy and killing all the fucking polar bears? I hope those treehuggers are going to put a stop to these planet destroying bastards.
    And I don’t want to see any photos of the Markles posing with their brats in front of a lit up Xmas tree. Pair of cunts.

    • What about London’s business buildings all lit up at night when no one is in them? Just so it looks cool? Massive waste of money, drawing 1.21 gigawatts from the grid every night. Every metropolis does this. It does look cool, but what a waste of electricity. It’s leaving all the taps on overnight to create a nice sound.

  13. Good. With that being the case there is no need for peacefuls and suntanned Asians to do supermarket adverts if they have nothing to sell.

  14. On the advice of the media I will be stockpiling turkeys and sprouts next to the petrol storage facility in my garden.

  15. Oh dear.
    I was hoping to a nice plump young bird and plenty of stuffing on the dining table this Crimbo. 😁

  16. Never eaten Turkey at Xmas . Pork….lovely Pork, crackling and Apple Sauce. A little stuffing, Roast Potatoes and Roast Vegetables.

  17. Next will be Father Christmas and his little helpers will be banned from riding his sleigh through the sky due to:-

    health and safety
    reindeer abuse
    drinking (sherry) while driving, as well as eating all the pies.
    breaking and entering into a billion homes
    sleigh failing MOT test, and not been green enough
    his little helpers have also fucked off back to the North Pole because of Brexit
    He’s also been sacked for being white and a menace to children.
    Current vacancy for a non-binary, gender-neutral, non-white globalist, vegan, anti-capitalist, XR-supporting, knee-bending person with a deep voice and can say “ho, ho ho!”

    In effect there’ll no presents come Christmas Day. Fuck off.

    • Turkey tasteless Are you mad?! Definitely not the ones I’ve eaten

      Turkey pairs very well with stuffing, cranberry sauce and gravy. Just wouldn’t be the same without it

  20. Turkey for Christmas is an imported concept from the land of the septic tank. A true Son of Albion should be partaking of a Goose over the festive period.

    Personally I’ll be after a free range duck from the local pond or a couple of Pheasants. Well hung of course, like me.

    The cunts perpetrating this ‘shortages’ myth need stringing up. The sheep that believe all they read on facefuck or watch on the idiot lantern need dissolving in a tank of acid.

    That is all. Good morning and get to fuck.

  21. Christmas cancelled? Hoo fuckin’ ray! Hated Christmas since I was a brat. House full of cunts drawn together because my grandmother insisted on the family being together. A bunch of cunts who couldn’t stand each other swapping gifts of M&S socks, Hi-Karate after shave and market bought Chocolate Liquers! My stuck up step father with a face like a cunt sat there looking down his nose at everyone because he though he was upper class. Fucking ginger cunt. Christmas? Go fuck yourselves! PS: I hope I didn’t come over as too bitter and twisted!

  22. Fed up of remain media stirring up shortage bollox all the time and people actually believing it and acting like lemmings. After this fuel shortage stunt, I hope more people realise what a shower they are.

  24. Oh well, at least I don’t have to cook it this year. What a bonus! Beans on toast it is.

  25. The BBC et al know that creating a crisis out of nothing is a way to moan about Brexit.

    One thing I’ve learned since the damned bat flu arrived, is that our nation is filled with selfish cunts. I knew this already, but the level is much higher than I initially thought. I’m hardly Mr Generosity myself, but fuck me, I’m Father Christmas compared to the cunts who panic buy at the slightest hint of a ‘shortage’ (media bollocks).

    In fact, it seems pretty much all of the shortages are due to selfish fucking morons panic buying.

    When some MP says on the telly ‘We are not running out of (insert product here) so there is no need to buy more than you normally would’, it is a cue for every fat useless cunt, Joe Daki and dark key to grab 50 oil cans and fill them up as well as the car. Or to charge the supermarket as it opens with five family members with two trollies each. All the pasta , rice, meat and bog roll gone in half an hour, as they beat the ‘buy limits’ by taking multiple family members. I saw one lot during the initial panic buying shite (Dakis) unload their 7 or 8 trollies into a van to then return to the supermarket to do the same again.

    “I say my dear fellows. Don’t be such bally rotters!” or words to those effect were used.

    These cunts should be fucking shot in front of their crying children.

    What a fucking country.

  26. In a couple years will we even know it’s Christmas time at all? (See what I did) Santa will be a black drag queen and Qwaanza given more recognition than Christmas. Schools already call it Holiday Break so as to not make a reference to Christ.

  27. And I’ll tell you something else I don’t like about Christmas! It’s the fact that because I’m fortunate to have a fucking good, high salary job I’m told I’m a tight cunt because I won’t buy the bastard spawn of my siblings the latest iPhone, PlayStation, Xbox etc! Lazy cunts won’t even buy the kids a winter coat or decent shoes! I’ll buy them what they fucking need, not what you decide they want, you cunts!

  28. Phew … two things (among millions of other things) that I dislike intensely … Christmas and turkey (including the country … ). Cancel it … go on … do us a fuckin’ favour.

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