‘SumUp’ deserve a monumental cunting, if you please.
This fucking advert about a Card reader machine sends my blood pressure to dangerously high levels. The one where the cast of the United Nations go “Oooohhhh” when they see the card machine. I have provided a link for one of them, as per rules, but, watching it will increase your blood pressure to stroke-inducing levels.
A cunting fucking advert of biblical proportions. Now, where did I put those Bisoprolol.
Nominated by – DCI Gene Cunt
The monumentally aggravating noise pollution from this ad reminds me of a brief Monty Python sketch, akin to reading small ads:
“Fourth gentleman required to share large suburban gentleman. Ooh, ooh, oooooh…”
5
I must say DCI, never heard of sumup, but I don’t really watch TV.
But if you say they are shifty that will do for me Sir! 😀👍
5
This is what companies pay marketing experts a small fortune for. Time and time again the public are represented as total fucking morons by advertising executives called Giles or Fiona.
Fuck off with them, any cunt taking part in said adverts has as much dignity as a male dancer in a Kylie video.
11
You can’t really blame the actors as they have bills as well but the cunts who come up with this shit are clearly retarded.
18
That’s true.
If somebody said to me ‘Stand there in front of that camera and go ‘Oooooooo’ and I’ll give you 10 grand; I’d snap their fucking hands off.
As long as he didn’t add ‘And then put this in your mouth’ after it or summat.
12
The public are fucking morons Sixdog.
4
This is the first (and hopefully last) time I’ve seen that advert.
Thanks DCI….. NOT!
Grrrr 😡
7
A thousand apologies, Ruff.
2
I reckon the card reader will have security issues, or at any rate the the exploitation of its shortcomings will already have the criminals jumping for joy.
9
These adverts make my dog howl the daft cunts.
Not only does it cause canine wailing its a shite advert.
Adverts used to be clever,
Funny, had catchy jingles.
Now theyre fuckin rubbish like everything else in this shit century.
https://youtu.be/Usm9PaVArtE
13
Too true MNC.
I remember some advertisements that were clever or at least memorable.
‘Course you can Malcolm” and “who do you think you are, Stirling Moss (or David Bailey)” were annoying, but mildly amusing and at least didn’t cause apoplexy like this shite.
10
I’ll see you a greasy steak and raise you a fried egg.
https://bit.ly/37qBSzR
6
Classic. Witty and imaginative.
‘Go to work on an egg”. Another witty advertising phrase. Written by She-Devil Fay Weldon when she was an advertising copywriter.
7
Up there with the Dominoes pizza add for sheer annoyance. A snazzy catchphrase I can understand is an asset when advertising something. But downright annoying shit like this only makes sensible people want to boycott whatever they’re trying to flog. All involved should hang they’re heads in shame. Or just fucking hang preferably.
11
Is that the one with a bunch of illegal immigrants yodelling FMC?
They’re so happy to have jumped to the head of the housing queue they celebrate with pizzas bought by the tax payer.
16
That’s the one. Although it is very factually inaccurate. Surely they’d celebrate with a kfc bucket.
9
And they wouldn’t be yodelling. They’d be rapping about “dissing other ni***rs and knifing white ho’s”.
12
The Tango adverts were good.
They started a crimewave of common assault.
Rolf Harris seduced me into wearing budgie smugglers and to learn to swim.
Jimmy savile taught me the importance of seatbelts
(Pay attention back there Diana!)
In fact all sexual deviants and rapists gave safety advice and did adverts back in the day.
Peter Sutcliffe did a Yorkie bar advert.
Nowadays they go into politics.
My favourite advert of all time is this.
https://youtu.be/XNPMYRlvySY
14
Loved the 70s Sutcliffe Yorkie ad with dear Peter, sans beard. I swear I saw his top set of dentures drop when he chowed down on that chunk of chcocolate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0l5aH7RbVo
10
Paul, I think its save to say the young lady in the sportscar Pete was leering at never arrived at her destination.
Probably clubbed her unconscious with the chocolate bar.
Death by chocolate!!
9
I thought you’d finally cracked there MNC.
The link had an advert with a hideous female truck driver on it.
It was the you tube advert before playing the advert.
6
Fucking hell! That would cause some mental elf problems amongst today’s snowflake yoof.
7
I remember those public information films aimed at kids. Living in the south west as a kid we had the short film on rabies played to us one afternoon.
Made us all terrified of our pets. And the French. I recall that the teacher who played it to us was highly xenophobic, due to it being the good old days. We kind of got the idea that rabies was French from him.
I always remember the film showing a French bloke with a massive beard in hospital bed, as he suffered with rabies. He was going mental when they were trying to give him water and then the next clip had his beard full of foam. He was going fucking apeshit, shouting away in foreign. We guessed he wasn’t saying “My good man, this here rabies is a bally rotter, wot wot. Has one, perchance, got a paracetamol?”
They wouldn’t show kids these days that video. They’d be in therapy for the rest of their lives.
I’d show it to them though. Toughen ’em up a bit.
10
Rabies is French.
Fear of water, the dirty fuckers.
12
You excelled yourself in this advert, Miserable:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfkquXqhMdA
😁
7
I use that as a staff training exercise Ruff.😁
Theres a removal firm in Stockport called mr Shifters.
Life imitating art.
6
I remember the advert MNC, used to make sure no dark keys were around when I was near water, just in case they pushed me in like on the ad.
0
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Fortunately, I`m drunk.
10
Sam Beau@ – Good form – carry on 👍😀
5
Can’t remember the last time I saw a tv advert. Mind you I unplugged my aerial in 2010 and don’t miss it one bit.
7
Ooooooooooo…oven.
11
I would boil the advertising executives that dreamt that up in their own piss.
Cunts.
10
I fucking hate this advert amongst most on TV today. But this one really grips my shite. I would like to smack them all in the pie hole and change the Ooooohhh for an Ahhhgrrrr.
8
Never heard of them, the multinational that I work for has its own card readers,
owned by the company so no surcharges to banks ( I work for a fucking big company).
So I cant see how this works.
Dealing with the top banks, BACS can take 5 days to get through to accounts (but becomes un allocated cash) .
A normal transaction takes 2 days cash to us and a refund to customer is 3 working days.
Its the time that the money spends in limbo that makes the banks money with a lake of money running at a constant medium, they are able to lend the transition money at profit to others .
8
That’s not how BACS works at all. They deduct but don’t send the money until it clears. So it doesn’t gain interest, but you don’t lose any either nor does the bank.
5
Rubbish. If somebody walking past a bank dropped a £1 coin the bank will have found a way to make interest out of it before it was picked up again.
5
You clearly haven’t even bothered to google it yet alone know anything about it.
3
Cunts indeed, that’s the first time I’ve seen that advert. It’s disturbing to think it might appeal to some mentally sub normal peasants.
8
They even gave Kehinde Andrew a part, that was him peering over the fence wasn’t it? 👌
6
“I am the spirit of dark and lonely water”.
That public safety film used to terrify me.
Which is why I stopped bathing for 15 years – best to be careful! 😀
9
French are you?
7
Donald Pleasance at his most menacing…
6
I still use the phrase ‘the day Reginald Molehusband got it right’ if Mrs Infidel manages to reverse into a 50 yard gap.
6
Talking about public safety ads, which were terrifying in the 70’s, I remember being shown a film at junior school about the importance of not accepting lifts from strangers. In this film you saw the shadow of the man that had given a lift to some child suddenly growing bigger and bigger, until it assumed monstrous proportions.
It scared the life out of me.
I asked my mother if this is what really happened. Did these men suddenly turn into giant monsters? She said yes and that’s why I should never accept lifts from strange men. This reinforced my nightmares but my mother was right to do so.
Today, the mothers would complain about “giving nightmares to my Dillon” and sue the school. Cunts.
Although to be fair, today’s school public safety films will be about how whitey is a racist.
12
Yeah that strangers one was scary too.
We never knew what the stranger wanted, but we knew it was bad. I think I thought we got chopped up and eaten. Not sure where I got that from but it fucking worked.
7
That’s pretty much what I thought. Whoever devised those films understood child psychology perfectly.
6
Those public information films worked.
Scared kids into common sense.
Dont play on railway lines
Accept lifts off giants
Play near deep water
And dont upset Dick Fiddler.
Like me and the missus.
https://youtu.be/JFlJFlLkgK0
9
I remember they also had ads showing chip pan fires. Mum puts the chips on, forgets and the house is gone and everyone is dead. Some cunt drops his fag in the bed, same thing. I remember one about not gorging yourself. Never seen one like it before or since. Bloke eating fast, swigging beer then eating fast again…dies of heart attack. The ice cream van shite (was it Tufty or someone else who gets run over?) Don’t play on electrical power lines/power stations. Think once, think twice, think bike. Very catchy. Not sure what Katie Price had to do with road safety though.
Ad breaks were like war zones back then. All good family entertainment during Crossroads.
10
Surely you mean Propanolol?
3
Err, no.
4
It is better though. Cures a range of ailments.
1
They’re both anti-hypertensive inhibitors, (beta blockers), but, Propranalol can be used for the treatment of irregular heart rhythms, anxiety, migraines, amongst others, whereas Bisoprolol is mainly used for hypertension.
3
Ah i just take the proponol otherwise my head will burst.
1
Going off topic if I can be forgiven. But Oh sometimes I really do wish I lived in Russia. Oh what a breath of fresh air calling all this shit out. Oh to be able to express yourself, your sanity re; Tom Daley. I hated the the knitting shit. I hated the fact he was literally wrapped in the Union Jack doing it. Could you imagine a male Russian athlete sat wrapped in their flag doing the same.
There wasnt one channel nay not one voice raised in this country in objection. All our papers lauding him and tv about his knitting and how his ‘son’ makes him feel calm. Oh yeah the ‘son’ who has two fathers.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9868369/amp/Russian-TV-attacks-Tom-Daley-homophobic-insults.html
9
Aye the Russians might be wicked bastards but they know a cunt when they see one.
Then they take the piss out of it mercilessly on national TV.
Perfect.
8
Back on topic, Unkle, and featuring the “pisspot’s pisspot”: the truly great Ian Hendry
2
Also off topic but at least it’s amusing.
3
The brilliant Dick Emery.
Ohh…you are awful….but I like you.
3
Aye, the Ivans aren’t fans of ‘the gayness.’ Although I have my suspicions about Vlad the Shirtless.
Didn’t that Peter Tatchell once go there to arrange some kind of ‘bumming for Russia’ demonstration? Some Ivan chinned him as soon as he arrived.
6
And yet Vlad sometimes carries on as if he’s the 6th member of Village People.
4
I’m talking of course about his “bareback” antics with horses.
What a cunt he is
4
Connie Booth for Schweppes Tonic Water was massively horn-inducing… Hb
4
I am so pleased this got cunted. I despise this advert with a vengeance.
2
That abysmal vomit show that is the Domino’s advert makes me reach for the mute button. But this new ‘oooooo’ bollocks could result in a marble elephant ornament being launched from the coffee table at the screen….
4
Every time that fucking ad comes on I feel the need to throw the remote at the telly, so far I have refrained long enough to mute it, but the add is fucking brain damage, in fact I nominated this one weeks ago, what happened with that….
2
Stupid adverts are aimed at stupid people. Who else would take notice?
1
Blimey, DCI Gene. I watched the link of that sum up video. It frightens me more than those safety adverts from years ago.
Do you have any pain killers?
4
Gram of paracetamol every four hours, then, after having watched it, see your GP for some anti-hypertensives!
1
What stupid fucks to have signed off on such a horrendous ad. One that i keep noticing is the Hellman’s mayonnaise ad with the deadbeat dad droning about ‘i’ll turn nothing into something’ while almost stabbbing his baby in the face with his fork.
What a retarded cunt.
2