Still with his toothy grin, and the lice addled beard, the Catweazle mini-me blows more of “his” money, kindly donated by the punters who over the years have supported his shitty companies, on a pointless, fruitless ego trip with Elton Musk, as to who of the two wankstains will be first to the moon:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/richard-branson-set-space-flight-24442448

This vanity project – for that is all it is – will benefit nobody, except the two protagonists, whose heads will get even bigger (assuming they return from the great behind, as Hylda Baker would have put it), is just another ostentatious display of wealth. A grotesque adventure in a game that can only be played by people with more money than sense. Musk and Branson, who is the bigger cunt of the two, or is it a draw?

i just hope that the device Dick uses to propel himself with invested in strong air fresheners to cover the smell when he shits himself.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

The CGI is just so impressive these days.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9738615/Disney-dropping-Slave-1-new-Star-Wars-series.html

Disney are changing the name of Boba Fett’s ship Slave-1 to ‘starship’ must have taken some long nights in marketing to come up with that one…

Why? It’s the name of a fictional ship that’s existed for 40 years. What next wookie reparations? Disney lost the plot years ago with their bubble wrapped approach to take care of their precious little brigade of snowflakes.

Not to mention they fired the bint from The Mandalorian for tweeting about conspiracy/vaccine stuff and she had a nice arse.

Nominated by: LazyBiscuits

They also put warnings on the following movies. Information provided by – well I looked it up so it’s me. – DA

• Dumbo (1941): Contains a scene of a group of cigar-smoking crows, with their leader named Jim Crow, referring to the racist segregation laws of the South, and voiced by a white actor.
• Peter Pan (1953): Has been criticized for the way its Native American characters were portrayed, including when they sing the song “What Made The Red Man Red,” and for the way white characters appropriate headdresses and apparel.
• Lady And The Tramp (1955): Features a pair of Siamese cats that sing “The Siamese Cat Song” in stereotypical Asian voices.
• The Jungle Book (1967): Has been criticized for its orangutans, which are seen as a racist caricature of black Americans.
• The Aristocats (1970): Has also been condemned for its Siamese cat, which plays the piano and talks about Asian food in a stereotypical accent.

Lots of representation here.

Oxfam’s Whiteness Survey

Oxfam has been asking it’s employees to answer the following questions – their ethnicity, whether they are non-racist, anti-racist or neither’, and requesting that they open their eyes to ‘how terrible whiteness is.’

88% of Oxfam’s employees are white. They have been told that “all echelons of power, to some degree, exist to serve whiteness’ and that racism is a ‘power construct created by white nations for the benefit of white people’. ‘Whiteness’, the survey declared, is ‘the overarching preservation of power and domination for the benefit of white people’.

Not surprisingly many of these employees are feeling aggrieved. One said she felt under attack for being white, English and a leave voter.

Oxfam are happy to racially abuse their white employees. Would they do it to their blek employees? Where’s the “Blackness Survey”.

In fact, Oxfam are so morally upright that their employees in Africa and Haiti have been found, in an Oxfam disciplinary investigation, to have used prostitutes, indulged in corruption and issued death threats.

Hypocritical racist cunts.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9739385/Oxfam-worker-says-feels-attack-white.html

Nominated by: Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine

I’m now on some sort of register for having to Google search for people pissing.

Pissing in middle-age is a total cunt.

A mere 9 years ago when I was 40, I was pissing like a racehorse as soon as my helmet was free of my undies and now, despite really needing a slash, I have to wait 20-30 seconds before the first pathetic dribble appears, increasing to a full ‘torrent’, which is about as vigorous as lumpy gravy strained through an old sock.

And wanking? What the fuck is up with wanking?
20 years ago I used to shoot my toxic jizz a country mile and regularly managed to land some in a bird’s hair.
But now?
Jesus wept, it ‘erupts’ with all the force of dripping thick porridge off the edge of a cold spoon.

Getting older sucks. But I’m sure in another 10 years as I rocket towards 60/the grave, I’ll get my second wind and will be flinging bodily fluids around with gay abandon.
Right, slightly elderly cunters?!

Nominated by: Thomas the Cunt Engine

Seconded by: Hard Brexit Cunt

I second your nomination as I know how you feel. I once shot my load in my own mouth but now struggle to squirt my man milk past my belly button.

My first piss in the morning is miserable. It comes out in dribs and drabs and not where I am aiming. Gone are the days when my piss went in all directions after a great night’s shag.

Not the only meth in this picture I suspect.

For allowing gay couples to marry in their churches.

There was a great Not The Nine O’Clock News sketch where Mel Smith played a liberal Anglican vicar arguing for Satanists to be allowed into the Church. Very funny.
Well, sodomy used to be decried as one of the ‘abominations crying out for vengeance’.
Now it is to be celebrated. In church.

Two blokes getting married eh?-‘to have and to hold, from this day forward, till death us do part’. Does one say ‘to love, honour and obey’ I suppose the submissive one will say that.
‘Here comes the groom, here comes the groom, all dressed in pink’.
I wonder what poor John Wesley would think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWa3LyvFOdc

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-57658161

Nominated by: Miles Plastic