TV chefs mispronouncing food

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It really does boil every liquid in my body when sleb chefs mispronounce simple foods.

The worst one is avocado,which Angela Hartnett so elegantly fucks up by calling it an “advocado”.If she was the hip type, I’m sure she’d ask for “smashed advo on toast” the cunt.

What’s so difficult about avocado ? It’s not a long word.

Another cunt is James Martin with aubergine, which he calls “ orbagine”.
If you’re on the tellybox, you would think that you would make sure that you say things properly, so you don’t look and sound a proper cunt.

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

59 thoughts on “TV chefs mispronouncing food”

    • Certainly never a dry dish within 5′ of any of his dishes once he’s finished wittering on. Free dollop of mouth grog with every mouthful. The cunt.

  2. Lots of people i know say capsicun. I have given up on the cunts, lifes too short.

    • Like the grunts who say ‘zucchini’ and ‘eggplant’ rather than courgette and aubergine.

      “Egg-plant”? Shut up and board your special needs bus.

      • Americans calling herbs “‘erbs” are the worst. Fuck them to death the useless cunts.

        Although I have a special place for non-Spanish people calling it pie-ehh-a instead of paella to pretend that they’re smart.

        Don’t get me started on people trying to pronounce chorizo…

      • Chorizo? I’ve never heard it pronounced by someone who knows what they’re doing. When buying it at the deli, so rather than sounding like an incoherent twatt, I just point

      • They use the word ‘Egg-plant’ in the United States.
        Why can’t they just say chicken, like everyone else.

    • Three ways of pronouncing.

      Cho-ri-tho – The correct way in Spanish
      Cho-ri-zo – The phonetic way, still alright I suppose.
      Cho-ritz-o – The way cunts say it. There isn’t a t or a double z.

      • At the risk of being a pedantic shithouse.
        No. 1 Yes, correct in Spain only.
        No. 2. Yes correct in Spanish anywhere other than Spain.
        No. 3. I am fluent in Spanish and that is how I pronounce it.

  3. The majority of TV chefs are narcissistic arseholes who have no self awareness and probably believe, steadfastly, their (incorrect) pronunciation is the right and only way.

    Fuck them all into a shitty, blocked sewer.

    Cunts!

  4. The craze of mispronouncing food in a hoity-toity accent started with Lloyd Grossman. Chefs think it makes them sound select and high class if they pronounce food differently to everyone else. It’s as if they are saying “I pronounce it differently because when I cook it, it tastes different to the common article” . Cunts.

    • Facking hoity toity chefs when trying to pronounce the phrase “rancid goat semen” it comes out as “jus”.
      Twatts

  5. I have no problem pronouncing fancy words in a restaurant if I’m out for a meal.I tell the waitress that I don’t need a menu because I don’t eat any foreign muck. I then order Soup of the Day ( insisting that it must be Mock-Turtle) followed by a very well-done steak and finally bread+butter pudding.

    Most Chefs are alcoholics.

    • PS….I bet that Cunt ,Albert Roux, couldn’t even pronounce “Fray Bentos pie”,never mind cook one.

      Chef ?….I think not.

      • Advocado tastes like soap.
        Its a waste of money,
        Just buy Sheild soap from Poundland its cheaper and tastes the same .
        Most sleb chefs mispronounce food not because theyre pretentious twats but because of cleft palates caused by their mummy’s heavy drinking while pregnant.

  7. Lord Fidler, Mis:

    I have booked a table for us all at L’Enclume in Cartmel.
    Very reasonable @ £175 per person for the taster menu plus £120 per person for wine pairing. plus tip🤔

    Alternatively we could all get pissed on white lightening in the Priory grounds and shout obscenities at the tourists, whilst Mis flashes at them.
    Later we could stagger down the road to Grange-over-sands for a bag of chips from the chinky, then sit in the prom and encourage Chinese tourists to walk over the sands.
    What larks😀👍

      • The more the merrier👍
        Grange is “God’s-waiting-room” and needs waking up👍

      • There’s a plaque in Morecambe Bay commemorating the Chinese cockle pickers who died.

        Their names are Lin Tu Deep, Swim Lo, Fuk en Nippy and Mee Cants Wim.
        I’m sorry, that was rather a shellfish pun.
        I couldn’t get served on the day of the tragedy when I went into a Chinese restaurant in Morecambe, as they were waiting for the staff to wash up.

    • Morning CG.
      Ill go with option B.

      Im quite a versatile cook myself,
      That aubergine mentioned in the nom?
      I substitute the similar looking but infinity tastier black pudding.
      When alls said an done though its pointless trying new things because I’ll hate them.
      Most of these sleb chefs look the type who fondle their balls and dont wash their hands.

      • You are not wrong Mis.
        Jamie Oliver is a ladies bicycle seat sniffer, if ever I saw one. The fat-tongued twat!

      • Only vulgar cunts go to Cartmel, C-G whether it’s for the nags, the Tom Jones concerts, or the scooter festivals.

      • Cap Mag: pretentious cunts and the blue rinse brigade.
        It was oh-so-different in the 80’s😢

      • I wonder how many pigs Oliver’s oversized tongue would feed, if cut out, and boiled?

        I might just let the pigs do the prepping. They are instinctively good at it, better than him.

  8. I’ve just had a nice breakfast of Crinchy Nit Flerks and Toost.

  9. Nice little race-course at Cartmel,General but I’d advise steering clear of the sticky toffee pudding….far too sweet and claggy.

    I’ve genuinely considered going to one of those fancy restaurants….there’s one opened in Wall promising “Fine dining destination restaurant in the heart of Hadrian’s Wall country, Northumberland bringing the flavours and style of Scandinavia to the Tyne Valley” but the thought of paying £85 for the tasting menu horrifies me….18 dishes,some of them “bitesize” indeed…..you’d can buy 85 Fray Bentos steak pies for that kind of money.

      • Lord Fiddler-Cartmel is now populated by Metropolitan cunts.
        Even the “northern” accents are unlikely to be local.

      • It appears to be “end of terrace”…I might as well buy a Barratt-box on a “Cuntry-Living” suburban estate and be done with it.

      • End of terrace maybe-but only 50 yds for you to stagger, on a Sunday morning, to deliver one of your world famous “fire & brimstone” sermons👍

  10. That greasy cunt from Cornwall Rich Stein always upsets me by sweating into everything he makes.
    I also suspect he is a Closeted Gay.
    Special friends with that weird Mockney lardarse Oliver I’ll wager.
    Their food is also shit.

    I recommend a fast course of Oven.

  11. Jamie Bumiver is a complete cunt – he slobbers and drools into his food while cooking it, and also sticks his finger in it for taste. Fuck knows where his fingers have been prior to that – probably up his own arse, or scraping the mature cheese from his encrusted knob!

    He is definitely the kind of unintelligible cunt that is crying out for subtitles.

    That said, I don’t give a fuck how Nigella Lawson pronounces food because if I had my way her mouth would be full of my mancream!

  12. I have a simple answer how to deal with these cunts. DO NOT FUCKING WATCH THE CRAP.

  13. Don’t forget the two doughnut punchers the hairy bikers, who like to serve their food with a dusting of beard hair and dandruff. Cunts

  14. Angela Hartnett is on TV? why? she only exists because Gordon Ramsay had a hard on for her (god knows why).

    Actually most TV chefs are shit. Anthony Worrall-Shoplifter, Ainsley Creepyasfuck, Jamie Lispymockney, Heston Harryhill, those two shit Italian chefs who sell cereal, Prick Stain.

    I miss the days of Antonio Carlucci, Keith Floyd and people who cared about food rather than building a media career. Although I still would do Nigella.

    Also if you don’t look at the video and listen to Marco Pierre-White he’s basically Jimmy Savile in the way he speaks.

    • I would DEFINITELY do Nigella. Brains, beauty, big tits, likes her own company (and is thus quite happy to keep herself out of my way if I need some peace and quiet). And oh yes, her recipes are bloody great too.

      She might even be on here….. now there’s a thought. She certainly isn’t one of the Twatterati inflicting her opinions endlessly on us all. I think.

    • MPW got his leg over with Emilia Fox. Dunno how. Never knew she was a chronic alky…

    • Liked The Two Fat Ladies.

      On beef:
      “If you’re not going to have it rare, don’t have it at all”.

  16. I used to work with the most insufferable and up herself cunt known to man. She used to like and quote that utter cunt, Stephen Colbert (she kept saying shit like ‘Truthiness’ and seriously called herself a ‘Colbertinista’. Straight up). This bitch also thought she was above everyone and ‘different’ because she liked wank like Colbert and claimed to listen to crap like Pavement and Sleater Kinney (dyke rock shite). But worse than that she was unbearable during the Wimbledon tennis championships. She used to call it ‘Wimby’ and virtually stalked that Federer bloke. Another thing that made my teeth itch was when she always used to gob off about having Eggs Benedict, only she called it ‘Eggsy B’ and she was always acting like she was the only person in the world who knew what it was. I despised her passionately, and I dare say she is making some other cunt’s life hell and shit stirring on social media. I also have no doubt that she has Chicken Floyd George stickers on her car. What a fucking cunt she was and always will be.

  17. A fellow cunter ( if my memory serves me well) recently pointed out how that Ozzie gobshite John Torode pronounces pasta as “parster”.
    And don’t get me started about that Cockney greengrocer Wallace cunt !

  18. Mispronunciation is a favourite hobby amongst the upper classes and even more so amongst wankers who aspire to be upper class. Have you heard how Diana’s family pronounce Althorp? I once knew a knob named Cholmondeley who pronounced it “chumley”. Sounded like he had a speech impediment.

  19. Tv chefs are all cunts that how Ramsay and Oliver excelled into the cunts that they are today

    Enough about chefs how about all the eat bugs propaganda. How about it cunters you gonna eat bugs to save the planet?! greta thundercunt says we have to give up eating meat and eat bugs instead sound advice from a window licker

    • That demented whore, Slagenia Jolie makes her kids eat bugs and spiders. She has all the money in the world, and she makes her kids eat bugs. If she wasn’t rich and famous and from Hollyweird, she’d be up for child cruelty. She is an insane and evil cunt.

      • The only worthwhile film Jolie has done is the classic film hackers before she became a superstar bitch. I didn’t even know that Norm doesn’t surprise me in the least after she adopted a kid from Ethiopia what a stunned cunt I guess that where she got her taste for bugs from

        Whether climate change is even real one thing thundercunt only wants to fingerpoint at the west https://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1564770330798.jpg

  21. Speaking of mispronunciation.
    I am happy to reveal the correct way of expressing ‘Feng Shui’.
    Some say feng shoooi.
    Some say fang shwayy.
    Some say faaang shwaa.
    I say It is pronounced ‘bollox’

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