The School Trip (2)

Back in the day when I was in my teens and attending my local comprehensive and studying my “O” levels (and not the piss-easy GCSEs that followed it), I used to hate the school trip!

This was particular evident in my “O” Level History lessons where we would have to go on a coach trip to some far-flung place in the middle of nowhere just to be told by my hyper-excited history teacher that “this was the place where Queen Boadicea took a dump before going into battle with some Roman cunts!”

Then there was the Geography trips just to find out the importance of arable land and how it shaped Britain’s industrial and agricultural heritage.

We were expected to look interested, ask questions, take notes and appreciate all this pointless bollocks. Yes, it was a day out of the school, but bloody hell it was boring, and quite often these trips took place either in late autumn or the middle of bloody winter, freezing our bollocks off while trying to look for a bunch of fossilised stones in thick fog in the middle of a muddy field splattered in cow/sheep shit!

We weren’t even allowed to take our own booze, or visit the local pub for a swift one or two, purely because we were underage, tsk!

Of course when I reached 6th form, we organised our own common-room trips, which were far more educational  – “A” level studies in exploring pubs, amusement arcades, dodgy fast food, scantily-clad tarts and the odd strip joint!

Do they still do school trips these days? Or has ‘elf & safety and the risk of injury or death to pupils killed off the idea?

Nominated by: Technocunt


69 thoughts on “The School Trip (2)

  1. School trips these days would probably involve a visit to a museum in the morning to learn about racist British history and oppressed peoples, then an afternoon BLM or ER demo followed by an evening drag show.

  2. I went to NYC during A-levels for a school trip. We managed to get alcohol and some dope, went up a skyscraper, saw the gold in the Fed, got hounded for not tipping at TGIs in Times Square (their service was shite. Cunts).

    A great cultural experience. Didn’t learn a fucking thing.

  3. We went to Chatham for some reason. We spent the whole 12-2 in our school uniform in the pub. Sick all over the floor of the coach on the way back to school, which was 60 miles away.

  4. School trips when I was a lad were to Blue John Mines, Blackpool Zoo, Blackpool Lights and stuff like that.

    Now I hear the cunts go abroad. The entitled little fuckers probably go to places like Rio and Barbados. Whatever they want now, they fucking get.

    • I remember a rather snotty girls school on a trip to Blackpool Zoo. These little bitches were dead snobby with us Newton Heath schoolboys at the Zoo itself. So, when we passed their coach on the way home, they saw about ten bare arses as we all moonied at the windows of our coach.

      • We went to Knowsley Safari Park and Chester Zoo which were ace unless you were sat next to the fat kid who stank of sweat and ham and had eaten his lunch before the coach had left the school gates.

    • Norman@
      I was outside Blue John today!
      Van in for work at Oldham, then out with missus and dog for walk and dinner in the peaks.
      No better outing for a kid than a boatride through endless dark caverns!!😀

      • I bet Diane Abbot’s bat-cave isn’t so great.

        that may go the way of the split cock post, a terrible thing to mention

      • That’s my decision about whether to have a drink or not tonight sorted MNC…

  5. Had some great trips as a kid. Ostend pissed up red light district first night aged 15. Similar London aged 14.
    Even better as teacher
    Lost kids at twickenam pissed up at challenge cup final sheffield eagles v Wigan. Fucking Wigan cost me a Mac Donald’s meal for every kid cunt on the bus 🚌 they lost to sheffield who where in the 2nd division because they lost to I had to buy 40 fucking happy meals. Wembley loads of times for international games. Old Trafford Olympic football games Barcelona. D of E. lock in boozing with headteacher whilst 6th formers were camping.
    Basically school trips were Ace.

  6. Went to Germany on a school trip in early 1984. I was still 13 but had a heavy five o’clock shadoiw and was approaching 6ft, so managed to purchase a few gallons of German beer and spirits. Managed to get my knob wet on the ferry with an older girl from another school.

    Happy days!

  7. Haha. I was talking about school trips the other day. My young nephew is going to France to learn about WW1. We used to go on nature rambles round the fields by the school and collect leaves and twigs dead fucking butterflies or something. We probably had to make some sort of hat out the detritus we found. It was either that or Dudley fucking Zoo. Aaah simple Happy Days

  8. The highlight of my year 6 trip to the sewage treatment plant was skip bin where keys, coins, doll’s heads, dentures etc were separated from shit with a small display of lost treasures in a shed beside it. We were confronted with the turd that beat the system. The wide, dense and gnarled grogan must’ve killed the poor bugger coming out.

  9. I went to Anglesey.
    Where I fell through a toilet block roof and was rushed to hospital unconscious.
    Best holiday I ever had.

    • My mate was doing that on a lads holiday in Spain spying from a tin roof shagging a bird and the cunt fell through it. All the burgular alarms going off the lot. Fuck getting caught by them pricks.

    • We went on a school trip to Brinnington. Had to walk. 250 miles from Cwmscwt. Looked at the posh houses. Smelled the jam wafting over Reddish Vale. Walked home. Magic.

  10. Castle Rising (semi derelict dump)
    Hunstanton (coastal dump)
    Sandringham (posh dump) and Norwich sewage works, which was the most interesting.
    Fuck school trips…

  11. I went to the Science Museum on a school trip for O level history, all to do with the Industrial Revolution. Was quite boring as I’d already seen everything there previously. We also had to sit and listen to a boring cunt giving an even more boring lecture.
    To top it all, I lived in central London at the time and could have walked there in 30 minutes and met the school party, but instead had to go to school first, attend assembly and then go all the way back. Still pissed off about that now, 45 years later.

  12. I went on weekly skiing trips to Switzerland and Italy at grammar school then a day trip to London in the 6th form where the rest of the class went to the Science Museum while I fucked off to see my girlfriend who lived there. Only just made the coach home. In junior school we went to the Peak District for a week and also somewhere near Chepstow for another week where 4 of us were caught one night streaking between the chalets and made to stand outside for a bollocking while the girls watched and giggled at us from the main house. Halcyon days.

  13. If parents have enough money to send their offspring on school trips,their child-benefits should be stopped immediately and an investigation launched.

    Only children whose parents pay all the costs of their education and upbringing should be allowed to go on school trips.

      • Fat kids were always cunts on trips. Hogging both seats on a coach, and constantly stuffing junk down their gobs even before we’d left the fucking school!

      • And you still wonder why Boris has not invited you to become Secretary of State for Education.

  14. There were no school trips when I was at school (1950s/60s), thank fuck.

    My younger brother went on a school trip to the Soviet Union in the ’70s, lost his virginity there.

  15. One bad trip was to headingley Pakistan v Australia. Fooking peaceful s bowled Australia out just before lunch. Shit having to sit amongst the cunts going fucking mad. Cunts.

  16. We went from Glasgow once to the Electric Brae in Ayshire although none of us had a clue what it was. The road goes uphill but a static vehicle will move as if the road is going downhill. It´s either magic or an optical illusion. Bored the crap out of us.

  17. On a school trip to London, me and my mate ( RIP ) did a Keith Moon and threw half the contents of the room we were sharing out of the window.
    Fortunately, no one was hit by the high velocity items, dropped from the fifth floor.
    The behaviour of the staff was a disgrace, we were basically left to our own devices and spent a wonderful week end exploring the seedier side of London. Fuck knows where the teachers were, we only ever saw them at breakfast, looking very much the worse for wear, ( them and us ).
    I doubt very much that today, a group of lads and girls could do what we did, without something horrible happening.
    On another occasion, we were taken to a theatre in Manchester, to see ‘ The Long, The Short And The Tall ‘.
    We ended up battling with some lads from another school, in the bogs. Our English teacher came in and remonstrated with the other kids, ( we’d chipped in for a packet of cig’s for him before we set off, so could do no wrong ). He actually gave one, who already had a bloody nose, a clip round the ear, while we stood behind him, sticking two fingers up and making wanking gestures. Then their teacher turned up, all horrified at the state of his pupils. He got told where to get off, too.
    Our English teacher was fucking ace, we all liked him. He looked like General Custer.
    When I finished school, I took back all the books I’d purloined from the store room. He was gobsmacked when he saw them all but didn’t bollock me for taking them, just asked if I’d enjoyed them. I said I had and he said ‘good, I’m glad, good luck for the future ‘
    Good bloke, he actually cared about us, unlike some others, and wanted us to succeed, never saw him again. He’ll be dead now.
    Happy days.

    • If only….

      The teachers I went on trips with back in the late 70s were either ageing 60s hippies, butch-lezzers and swotty train-spotter-types with NHS specs, handlebar moustaches and leather shoulder patches

  18. Cunt who went on a skiing trip broke his leg first day. Serves the gay cunt right for ripping the piss out of me because my parents couldn’t afford to let me go. My first experience of karma is a bitch. Told the cunt I’d have broke his leg for free. He was not happy with that.

  19. First school trip to was to Holland, Belgium and Germany in year 5.

    Second was a skiing trip to Switzerland in year 7. Remember flying on a DC10. Absolutely useless on the piste but another fantastic experience.

    School trips very much a positive pour moi.

  20. South Ken museums – as a born-again nerd that was fine by me
    Hampton Court , twice, summer days by the river, avoid the teacher, what could be better?
    Parsons Turbines, Erith – a much needed intro to real life. We had industries then.
    No complaints, really.

    • she’s writing her first ever moan about the environment, probably complaining about the teacher stealing her childhood

    • And next to her is the young Sparkletits peering into the bush. No doubt looking for a frog Prince to kiss.

      The school trip from hell.

      • Yes. And no doubt the teacher is talking about the structural racism inherent in nature and how gardening is a relic of colonial repression.

      • Yes, that dandelion she’s pointed at is a clear example of colonial oppression, enforced slavery of minorities, inherent sexism & demeaning of wimminz, and mass genocide of BAMEs at the hands of white supremacists through the ages!

        It all makes sense now. That dandelion needs stringing up and cancelled!

      • 😅😅

        I shouldn’t laugh. It’s all too likely.

      • In the old days they’d be innocently making Daisy chains,

        nowadays daisy chain in the curriculum requires the boys lining up in a circle pants down for synchronised bumfoolery, probably to demonstrate solidarity with oh for fucks sake

  21. Quite a diverse school trip pictured there, four out of seven visible children are diverse. At least they’re being learned real good by a white teacher.

  22. After moving to a more rural area, aged 16, I went on a field trip to a religious retreat in the Lake District with 19 girls and 4 other lads and 3 female teachers.
    I banged the shit out of 2 fellow students and a 24 year old RE teacher who was practically a virgin.
    I would say that on that particular trip:

    “In life, there are teachers and there are educators”


    • 1972. I was 14. A shite school trip to Romney Marsh, Kent. Military huts from hell.
      A true indoctrination. My first proper fiddle, and a sweet stinky finger in a beach hut, my first proper scrap, and the first time I stood up to a wanky teacher. I was born. Those trips had a purpose.

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