I am one. But I’ve been one for over twenty years. I shave my head every day because I like the look – I don’t want to look like Max Wall (I’ve think I’ve been here before but fuck it).
There’s a advert that’s boiling my blood. The cunt’s in the barber’s and he’s got a Tintin hair cut and won’t let his barber at it. Fuck the cunt. Strap him down, use a pair of clippers to take everything off, and then throw the cunt in a skip.
I’ve tried to find a link but I’m trashed so am finding it difficult.
BLM! Bald lives matter!
Fuck off.
Nominated by: Dark key cunt
I’m not a baldie (or even a Max Wall). Far from it in fact. But I think when the day does finally arrive where my hair starts falling out, I will definitely go the Kojak route!
There’s no big stigma about being a slaphead these days, and its got to be better than a syrup or a desperate 3 hair comb-over
Bald Lads Matter
17
“ bald lads matter “ nice one ……
Most men lose hair to varying degrees throughout their lives , it’s never an ideal situation but most make the sensible decision that when the “cunning comb “ can’t hide the hair loss it’s time to clip it short , some refuse to do this an end up objects of ridicule.
I used to work with a man who appeared to have about a dozen strands of hair which he wrapped around his head culminating with a centre parting on the front of his head ( 6 each way) Did people look and admire his fine head of hair? NO!! Did women queue to run their fingers through his thick curly god like hair? NO
Was his nicknamed “ the walnut whip” ? YES
5
I am blessed with a fine head of hair and look with curiosity and glee upon the people half my age with receding hair lines or no hair at all!
17
You and me both TBRILW! It’s fun being a smug bastard isn’t it? My younger daughter’s partner is half my age and bald as an egg. And the best thing is the women underestimate your age by decades!
9
Indeed, Arfur.
Also I remember reading somewhere that a lot of men with receding hairlines or no hair at all had their hair ripped out in fights/during disgusting depraved homosexual sex acts with their civil partner/husband, so you may want to do some checking on your youngest daughters boyfriend partner history just in case! 😉
7
Point taken TBRILW, but I’m not too concerned; he has two kids by a previous relationship. Also my daughter is very wary now following a previous bad experience and holds a view of the world which would be too right-wing for ISAC.
3
#MeToo.
My younger brother started going bald around 30, much to my delight. He now looks like Mark Reckless.
6
But with very low testosterone and libido.
5
Same here. You could set your watch by my hairline – it ain’t going anywhere. I think it’s an evolutionary thing. People with bigger brains need to keep them warm because of the extra thinking we need to do to make up for all the thick people.
4
Me too, I am 51 and most people think I am nearer 40 with a full head of hair if bit grey though, I think there is something in the water causing slap head condition, in the 70’s any Football team had a whole squad with flowing locks and stunning side-burns and no puffery either, I think the ones born since the 80’s suffer more it might also be linked to the Gayness gene (See case – Mark Oaten Lib-dem) as scientifically outlined by Lord Fiddler. I always keep my distance from them, its not right.
1
Cheer up Dark key cunt.
Im one too.
I put up a good fight but in the end male pattern baldness did for me.☹️
I dont shave my head I look like a tennis ball chewed by a dog.
Its a cruel fate.
Still, better than looking like that tart Lawrence Llywellyn Bowen isnt it?
With your natural complexion I assume you look a bit like a Malteser?
😀
7
Commiserations Miserable, on the plus side at least the Hair Sniffer-In-Chief, Sleepy Joe will leave you alone.
7
Creepy Joe wouldn’t be interested in me LL.
He’s more the Madeleine McCann type.
He’d get tangled in my beard and his security would have to cut him free.
10
MNC@ – Wahl clippers, guard off, lever pushed all the way back – winner! Easy, quick, practical and most reasonable when compared to the prices those barberist types charge! 👍😀
I have noticed that when I was young very few people in their twenties had receding hairlines, now it seems to be the norm.
Buzz off the last few strands I say – the Bobby Charlton look is so 1966!
6
Foxy@
Thats exactly what I do!
Wahl clippers, down to the wood.
Not been a barber in ages.
5
You cunt! Malteser is what I got called by my Y10 class at my first school! Gave at least two of them detentions for throwing them at me!
4
Emergency Counting for BlowJo who announced to the G7: that he wanted to “build back better in a more greener feminine and gender neutral way” .This cunt must be a troll.
20
What an absolute cunt…
15
I concur that cunting particularly as Honey Monster has “told” fans not to boo when footballers genuflect to the Racist BLM cunts.
20
That must have been Mrs BoJo 😂
13
I hear she still has his rotten severed bollocks in her handbag
13
I watched him on the news, he was struggling to spit it out, obviously in panic mode in case he got her script wrong 😂
9
An additional overtime cunting for pushing back ‘freedom day’ (lol.. ffs) until July 21st.
It’s just..
It’s with a heavy heart..
Alas!..
Get to fuck.
Lying traitor globalist scumfuck. Delta variant my arse. Same old PCR ‘case’ fraud being used to justify this.
They’re lying. Wake up.
14
Lying? You mean they’re now saying there is no fucking virus?
7
PCR casedemic.
Used at 30-45 cycles, the results are utterly meaningless and fraud. That on its own is insanity.
It was calibrated against a theoretical computer genome model. Why? Because they don’t have a complete isolated and characterised viral genome to work with. They never do. It’s not how viral ‘isolation’ works.
There is no virus. The methodology proves that statement. They never, ever isolate a virus directly from sample. Always via cell culture. Which is not isolation.
Prove me wrong 🖕
8
They can’t, because you are absolutely correct👍
5
Freedom day sounds like a version of Life Day that you’d get in a knockoff Star Wars film.
2
I have a thick mop of hair. Also very dark – just getting a Dickie Davies go faster grey stripe in the front now. I just need to grow the 70s pornstar ‘tache.
9
Is that Iain Duncan Smith’s psychotic idiot bastard half-brother in the header pic?
10
Been shaving my head for years, I only found out I was going bald because I didn’t shave my head for two weeks once.
Cunts
11
I’ve got a lovely, flaxxen head of dirty blond hair and feel fortuitous I’m not a Skinead O’Cunter. Apparently it’s the booze that maintains it.
9
Thank goodness I’m not one of those premature Baldie losers continually bragging about how “manly” he is, how much he loves “rugger” and how much he hates the Gays. You know the type, who talk about the Gays more than the Gays talk about Gays.
Closet caravan fággot.
14
Think you need to check in for a shave pal
3
Male baldness is a sign of high testosterone levels….I ,naturally, am as bald as an egg…any male aged over 40 with a full head of hair lacks the “manly” hormone and probably owns several gerbils.
21
Sorry Dick but many of those with the gãy affliction are bald.
Tom Allen that fuckin’ slapheaded ‘ comedian’ can’t have a trace of testosterone in his body. He’s not even funny as you.
8
The bald Gay has shaved his head to lull the unwary into a false sense of security….they can’t fool me.
Good Evening,Bertie.
8
What about Matt Lucas, Richard Fairbrass and Gareth “Rugger Bugger” Thomas my liege?
4
None of these professional “comedians” are nearly as funny as Dick or a score of others on ISAC BBTC.
0
Thank goodness I’m not one of those surprisingly easily triggered types continually bragging about how “clever” he is, how much he loves being too bright for Mensa and how much he hates the “kiddy-diddlers” You know the type, who talk about the kiddy diddlers more than the kiddly-diddlers talk about Gary Glitter.
Barratt-box dwelling,dull windbag..
10
A golden haired Apollo Mr Fiddler.
As you say supremely clever dismissing mensa out of hand but now we find that he has a thick blond mane like a lion’s.
And virile! Such virility! with his ‘magnanimous pole’ ejaculating his ‘man yogurt’.
What a specimen of rigourous masculinity he paints!
I bet he’s a small weedy bloke.
4
Wahl clippers set to zero.
Being so nice gave me male pattern baldness.
So I converted in early middle age to being a right cunt.
Good.
6
UT@ – Wahl clippers set to zero – that’s the spirit Sir!
Although from my experience I have not gone bald – it has just retreated from my head and grown out of my chest – I’m like a fkin gorilla, Sir Fiddler may bag me with the punt gun by accident in the mistaken belief I am an exotic African beast!
7
As someone who has always been blessed with a good head of hair, my problems have always been with unwanted hair.
Hair up the nostrils can itch like fuck!
https://www.comedycard.co.uk/products/funny-birthday-card-modified-his-hairdryer
3
Evening Bertie, have you been missing your regular back, sack and crack waxing sessions at the salon during the lockdowns?
5
Evening Libs.
The one thing I have missed is a good plucking!
My eyebrows are beginning to represent Denis Healey on steroids!
6
Bertie:
Surely one of Percy Parrot’s Laydees must be on the nest?
Simply sunbathe “au Natural” and have a little siesta.
You will wake up smoother than Duncan Goodhew!
😀👍
4
My wife’s hair is usually matted in spunk. Mines fine.
8
Does she go out selling pins of an evening?
6
Since ive been kicked out of the follicly endowed club,
I now hate the fully haired with a passion.
Some cunt with a mop like John Travolta had in the 70s?
I’ll flick chewing gum into it.
Some Robert plant type with a mop of blonde curls?
Spill super glue in it when hes unaware.
The fuckin effete show offs.
5
As a cunt in the U.S. we don’t use the term “slaphead” but I did introduce it to my 10 year old daughter and now she can’t stop calling me that.
I just remind her that she is adopted and they have a 15 year return policy hee hee!
15
That doesn’t surprise me
2
I have a lovely long flowing hair all down my back. None on my head, just down my back.
Badoom tssss!!😆
Here all week folks
6
Picture looks like a toad minus the warts.
3
My head hair is the same as my facial hair.
https://images.app.goo.gl/vh1WabpRH7FGNqQB6
5
Years ago I was in the pub with my old man, he had a bit of a comb over and after a few pints I said jokingly that if he combed his hair from any further back he would be dragging it from the crack of his arse, he went absolutely fucking mental calling me all the cunts under the sun, he even called me an Al Qaeda faced cunt because at the time I had dark stubble to match my black hair.
We never spoke of his hair or mine ever again 🤣.
10
He’ll have the last laugh when your hair pattern matches his in the future.
5
He omitted to say he was a footballer years ago and his name was Bobby.
4
Evening Bertie.
Ive nothing but pity for myself since going bald.
I don’t deserve it.
If I wear a polo neck jumper I look like a roll on deodorant.
6
You balding and/or baldy cunts shouldn’t worry about it. The Jellyfish has a fine head of hair and he’s a filthy traitor cunt.
It’s official, as of today.
5
The only reason that sack of shit keeps his raggedy hair long is so that that Princess NutNut (and others) can grab hold of it when she fucks him doggy-style every night!
4
My most hated slaphead is that cunt, Alan Brazil. I can still see him missing an open goal against Everton in 85. He was fucking shite.
And no, it wasn’t me who bounced that pound coin off his baldie head when he came out at half time during the same game. Honest.
11
You need to get out more you cunt!
3
Good shot sir👍
3
Jesper Olsen, who had a superb game that day, gave the chance to Brazil on a plate in what was (at the time) a top of the table clash. Brazil could put a shotgun up his own arse, pull the trigger and still miss. That’s how bad he was, CG.
0
One the subject of slapheads it is my professional observation that Boris BloJob Johnson is well on the way. His scruff-up is a blatant way of disguising his bald patches and its increasinging pinkness is his piggy pink scalp showing through.
6
I got a No. 1 short back and sides yesterday afternoon; was great to feel some fresh air on my bonce. Particularly as a good friend said my hair resembles The Jellyfish’s, though not as blonde.
2
Fuck that wobbling, useless sack of shit. I heard him today……….”level up…build back better”. I know what “level up” means. Him and his rich mates living it up, the rest of us all equally piss poor. No cars, no pubs, no nothing, just sat at home watching wokie propaganda on the screen. 1984 just around the corner.
7
In my Covid non secure.Kareoke.No masks no social distancing place packed.Stalins Granny Michie Professor Pants down and Dr Shillary want to destroy this and the fact people are disobeying this tyranny gives me hope.
1
More of a nightclub vibe.The good old days.
2
In my early to mid teens, I had shoulder length gar with an undercut.
Then a Miliatary style “flat-top” in my mid to late teens-women used to come up and “rub” the grade 1 back and sides-usually ending up with them bouncing up and down on my cock👍
20-25-indie cut like Bernard Butler.
25-40’s, boring short back n’ sides.
40’s back to mother nature’s sin and grew my dark blonde hair down to my arse.
Now I resemble a 1970’s action man.
Er indoors bags me to grow it long, constantly.
I can recommend my Remington cordless trimmer-fucking brilliant.
Remember chaps, every £20 saved at the barbers buys a bottle of Jim Beam👍
6
£20?!!!!
What was you having CG?
A perm at Toni & Guys?
Anything over a tenner is a piss take.
4
My hair looks like prince William’s.
To those of you with thick, full bodied hair with luscious flowing locks, I say this…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aXcsDMwiEtA
😀
2
Spoons, I like to picture you as a a sort of Noel Coward sophisticate, with super taste in baked confectionary.
Dear boy.
😀
2
Speaking of slapheads, I hear that bald cunt Lord Adonis is calling (yet again) for the UK to rejoin the EU in order to sort out the NI problem. The NI problem could be sorted in hours if the EU would stop acting the cunt.
Worst case of Brexit Derangement Syndrome I’ve ever seen.
5
That vile cunt was in the Times a couple of days ago, along with the festering shit Blair, promoting the idea of yet more universities as the answer to all our problems. This time in Northern towns… the problem being that Northerners are not voting Labour, and the fairly obvious corollary of that being that some nice woke yoonies will provide the necessary re-education, re-education, re-education.
Don’t check out Blair and Adonis’s direct links to corporate education outfits like Pearson. It might make you doubt their honesty.
2
i’ve been a slap head for years. I shave it myself , saves me a fortune in Barbers fees .
Just a word of advice , if your follically challenged shave it as short as possible or you will look a Cunt . As for comb overs, don’t even go there .
1
All slapheads are cunts who should be publicly shamed. The cunts. A good head of hair is a sign of probity and worthiness.
Saville, Rolf, Stalin, Hitler, The Hairy Mingepiece, Boris, Trumpington (in parts), Kim foo yung, St Marcus, the Blessed Chiggun George. I could go on but am Friday night fucked.
3
So many influencers punting Wahl clippers here…
When I start looking like a harmless eccentric, I pare my full head of snowy locks back to No.3 and welcome back the ugly-old-cunt-with-grudge look. Wahls, natch. It’s a decade since I subsidised a so-called barber. Slaphead, though? No, but the contrast with the current spate of W.G.Grace beards and WTF manbuns is certainly tempting.
1