Flip-Flops

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I’d like to nominate flip flops for a cunting.

It’s that time of year dear cunters. The streets air is filled with the fucking horrible sounds of flip flops. I hate them with a passion. Fuditch, fuditch, fuditch… it drives me fucking insane.

Big fat cunts with yellow feet and toenails that look like Walkers crisps waddling around with a piece of an old tyre held on to their trotters with a thin piece of rubber the cunts.

Not only are they a danger from tripping, they leave the wearer exposed to the very real danger of a size 11 pair of steel toe caps.

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

97 thoughts on “Flip-Flops”

  1. These are often the footwear of choice of those rescued from Snowden I believe.

  2. I’ve never wore flip flops in my life.
    Theyre for carpet kissers and those half ton yanks.
    The worse form of footwear since dissolvable doc martens.
    If feeling flamboyant ill wear old school adidas campus but mostly this season I will be wearing rigger boots.

    • You. Wouldn’t be able to ware them were you come from. Frost bite toes aren’t attractive

      • “You. Wouldn’t be able to ware them were you come from”
        You need to cut back on
        your anti northern rhetoric mate until you can spell!!

        I fuckin’ hate uneducated southerners.

      • My son lives in Kent and I can see why he’s doing well at the moment!

      • He’s not got a business recycling all the flip flops from the dinghy invaders has he Bertie?

      • He’s only a half scouser so he’s got a survival gene built into him!

      • Fuck sake, I was going to mention if the other half is Welsh, grrrrrrr! Geographically just round the corner from Liverpool.

        Just for you, Bertie, a tale of two cities, sort of….

        South wales…I’ve been to Wales half a dozen times and they love me, I am their token posh boy. In fact in Builth Wells the pub locals nicknamed me ‘Snob’ when I made up the numbers in their darts team 😀

        North Wales….I had a very different nickname in north Wales after I left i’m sure! Still if you don’t want all your tires shived in the carpark don’t gang up and piss off the quiet stranger who simply went into a pub for a pint on the way home just because he has an English accent 😉

      • @TBRILW
        “don’t gang up and piss off the quiet stranger?”
        You are Ian Duncan Smith and I claim my £5? No, you’re both of them so I claim a tenner.

  3. I shall stick with my chavvy running shoes – flip flops make my ankles look rather like they are retaining water 👠

  5. Foot wear is normally made for a specific job , I’m my day I wouldn’t expect to find a bit of hot totty in a club wearing a pair of fucking sandles unless of course she batted for the other side and wanted to go home empty handed or with a bearded lady , much in the same way most ladies probably wouldn’t wear a pair of come fuck me pumps whist walking the dog , flip flops on holiday ( remember those?) wasn’t my choice of footwear but I wouldn’t think someone bimbling down the beach to be a stupid cunt, however wearing them down your local high street with your griffin feet displayed is a totally different matter…….

  6. Totally agree with this cunting.

    Flip-flops are fucknasty beachwear for obese pikeys.

  7. Flip-flops are for children only.

    Any adult who thinks they’re wearing a pair are mistaken. They’re actually sporting a pair of cunt-cunts.

    The only thing worse are chronically fat bints wearing hot pants or shorts that create a very sad muffin top. Have some dignity and wear a dress for fucks sake. Or stay indoors.

    • Steve Irwin was a famous shorts wearer,
      And that Ben Fogle,
      Loves em.
      In the last two years ive been wearing shorts while working in summer.
      My bollocks were like two boil in the bag new potatoes.
      But not now!
      Shorts are for degenerates and sex pests admittedly,
      Why I wear them.

      • Especially cunts who hang about local community centres enticing young boys then convincing them to wear them under the guise of a collective uniform. Notice you never see the young peaceful ones at these congregations. They ain’t fucking daft, they wrote the fucking book in the 7th century and are the masters of all groom techniques. Need to get up earlier to catch these cunts out

  10. remember reading of some dictator who hated flip flops so much if he caught someone wearing them they were made to eat them but i`m fucked if i can remember who it was

      • See, thats why I liked him!
        Crazy cat!!
        Greatest Africunt ever!!

      • Gaddafi was quite a good cunt in many ways too. Free leccy and gas – just at stay away from brothers ass? Not a bad deal in my opinion. Can you imagine By rid & the crown who own all the seabeds the windfarms are on giving us free or even cheap leccy as they cut off our gas? No fucking chance.

        I’d actually have Saddam Hussein over Boris in No10 after actually voting for the cunt. Unlike Boris and his predecessors, he told us the truth. He didn’t have any fucking weapons of mass destruction. I actually doubt Osama planned or was anyway involved in 9/11 and I ain’t no peaceful. I believed such media bollocks at the time though being a young innocent cunt.

  11. Jesus!
    Look at the fuckin toe nails on that!
    Like knives or claws .
    Puddled cunt.

  12. Even as a child I found flip-flops repellent.

    So did my parents, thank fuck.

    Anyone I catch wearing them immediately loses all credibility in my estimation.

    • I always try to accidentally stand on n toes of cunts sporting such footwear. Social distancing is a cunt as it will spoil the fun. You can’t beat the sight of a landwhale who was already disrupting the free passage of people have a legitimate excuse to hobble along in low gear. Normally the sign of the ‘golden arches’ of Maccy Dee’s cures all traces of pain from my stomp though and they switch into top gear gaining the speed of a tornado as they whizz towards them entrance doors.

  15. Excellent cunting CS and not before time.
    I thought this might have come up before now.
    This is not just to do with the offending footwear but the fact that feet are the most revolting part of the human anatomy and should be kept covered at the best of times.
    Don’t get me started on the disgusting act of toe sucking as practised by Fergie and Andrew.
    I’d ram his fuckin’ foot so far down her throat, her tonsils would appear through the top of her head.
    I love the taste of cheese but not any synthetic alternatives.🤢🤮

  16. “…with yellow feet and toenails that look like Walkers crisps ”
    Ha ha! Excellent . 😂

    • Bloody hell they’re an abomination. If Daleks had feet then that’s what they’d wear.

    • Can’t wait for Naomi Campbell end to “model” those, and fall off the catwalk!

    • I like a good pair of ordinary crocs but that is taking things too far.

    • Had a blow out recently with a Nike Air trainer. To be fair, the tread was well below the legal limit and I was pushing my luck a bit. I shit myself when it popped. Now it squeaks and squelches like fuck if the pavement is wet. No good for nighthawk activities now.

  21. Not a fan. I hate the way that strip of plastic rubs between the big toe and the inside toe.

      • Thank you Bob. To me it feels like some form of torture the Japanese have come up with to make WW2 prisoners talk.

  22. Just for some footwear clarity, Crocs are worn by lesbians, Liberal Democrat voters, NHS workers, vegans and cunts in general 😷

    Fuck off!

    • Yeah, big fat lazy Shazza can do her tik tok viddys at the nurses station while she munches her latest purchase from the vending machine. They have loads of choice and unlimited supply in the absence of patient relatives. Turn up the music Jacqui, I can hear that old cunt buzzing. She’s probably wanting another pish and I only took her 6 hours ago.

  23. I bloody hate Summer; its all sandals, shorts and daft clothes. Spring, Autumn and Winter, you can wear proper outfits.

    • Agreed!
      Summers the Yorkshire Ripper of seasons.
      Im not a fan Cuntologist.
      Like spring
      I like autumn
      Love winter!!
      But summer?
      Like a ginger stepson.

      Im happiest in my wooly hat,
      Clad in sheepskin, icicles forming in my beard.
      Summer? should be a vaccine for it.

      • Those long summer nights and light early mornings make melting away into the night after a flashing jaunt much more challenging Miserable.

      • Exactly LL,
        Cant beat fog!
        Or thick mist on the moors!
        Adds a certain “theatrical” element.
        Doris and mabel looking for berries, and suddenly I go from lurking to whipping out the purple helmet.
        Before they can scream ive slipped back into the mist.
        They appreciate a bit of mystery.

      • Agreed MNC.

        Hats, gloves, leather boots, Le Chameau Wellies, cashmere, wool. moleskin, snuggling up with the dogs, Baileys, heated car seats and the open fire going with the smell of caramel wood; these are a few of my favourite things.

        Summer is all insects and sandals and its too hot to move some days and too hot at night. Nice getting up and having a shower though; not freezing bloody cold; I’ll give it that! Went to Rhodes once for a week; spent the entire time saying ‘Hot, isn’t it”?. Subtitles for that meant “Fuck me its bloody roasting”. Then there was the time I went to Cyprus; the sun index is so high there. I went out looking like a bottle of milk and returned as Irn Bru with hair like hay. Or the time I went to Tuscany in August – the air was so full of insects I couldn’t sit outside.

  24. What’s point of these stupid things? Completely unfit for purpose.
    Same with those gay Aussie surf dude abominations Ugg boots. (I’ve seen some that look like a knitted sock stuck on a piece of cardboard)
    If they were any fucking good they would be worn by Antarctic explorers or the Russian army.

    • They make women waddle along like fuck. They need to be filmed and shown the footage of what wearing them does and how it affects their pace. Though some killjoy MP would change the law to make uggfilming a hate crime & sexsooooal offence.

      • Only with the help of viagra and a nice young boy called Vaseline, or was that Vasalli🤔

        *allegedly

  25. When I saw the title I thought it was another thread about Boris Jellyfish Johnson. Turns out it’s not, but the cunt can fuck off anyway.

    • Sleepy Joes Mrs did the First Lady bollocks thing yesterday and visit a local school with Yoko Symonds but nobody told her Cornwall is hideously white and there was a distinct lack of headscarves and afros to cosy up to.

      • Clearly, therefore Cornwall is racist.

        The Diversity Police will be paying a visit soon to make sure the Cornish have their fair share of Dooshkas and Dinghy Riders

    • That’s actually a good name for No10 dynamic duo. Princess nut nuts can be flip due to her stroppy tantrums and Boris can be flip for obvious reasons

  26. The only good thing about flip-flops is when you see a really fit bird in a bikini walking along the prom, and then a flip flop flips out from her foot and she has to bend over to put it back on again.

    Depending on where you’re letching you’ll have a nice view of her boobs or arse.

    Marvellous

    • Good point. Well made.

      Unfortunately you live in Cumbria, where attractive girls are about as common as Unicorns.
      Except the occasional tourist…

    • They walk with a different gait to, usually ‘toeing outward’ with a wide stride which provides a better view of any camel toe presence.

  27. I fucking hate flip flops with a vengeance. How the fuck can you walk round with those lump of rubber flapping on the bottom of your feet. And the slapping noise…..

    • The same slapping noise you hear when ploughing a lass with a big ass doggy style?

  28. Fucking hate flip flops. Their extremely uncomfortable and come off when your running for a Bus.
    I might wear them round a pool , just maybe.
    Beardy hipsters where them while clutching their takeaway Skinny Latte’s. Cunts !!!

  29. In Africa they make their own flip flops out of old tyres.
    And theyre better than those Birkenstock things!
    They do everything in them,
    Work,(well not much) run, ride bikes, etc.
    These lefty types should be buying an wearing them!
    Supporting the 3rd world they care about so much.
    Its come to something when a notorious racist like me has to show them the way?!
    Maybe its just lipservice?
    Maybe theyre hypocrites?

    • They do everything in them… Ie they all get together and shag like fuck in them while the 8 year old girl from the settlement is away at the bison piss filled hole for a jug of water. The lack of water the cunts have doesn’t seem to dry the cunts gonads up one bit does it?

  30. The burning question is not about flip -flops. The burning question,- is Northern Ireland worth a sausage?

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