The adverts will tell you that by using a certain brand of bog roll you can spend the whole day feeling squeeky clean and walk around with a little twerk.

The reality is that it is impossible to effectively clean up shit with a piece of tissue.
Imagine, if you accidentally swidged a turd with your hand, would you wipe it off with a piece of paper and happily go about your day?
Of course not.
You would go looking for some soap and water to do the job properly.

Mrs Cunter used to sell properties and she would tell me that her UK clients used to be horrified at the mere sight of a bidet in a bathroom.
Their faces would screw up, rather like Kenneth Williams before he says “disgusting” in the Carry On films, and they would demand that the bidet must be removed by the builders before they make their purchase.

What is it with these people?
Do they think that they have a rose garden growing in their underwear?

Standard procedure for any golfer is a bacon roll and a cup of coffee before teeing off.
Not so for one fat bastard that I used to play with.
For him it was an enormous, full English breakfast followed by a huge mug of tea with a few sweeteners in, and then off he would go for a shit.

For the entire round of golf he would have a swarm of flies buzzing around his poorly wiped arse.

If you have no room for a bidet then fair enough, time your shit for just before your shower.

If you do have space for a bidet then buy one, you filthy arsed, smelly bastard.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

Cunts in the media who are quick to point out the race of victim and perpetrator, but only if the victim is black and the perpetrator is white.

Biggest example has been the George Floyd bollocks, but I have spotted other examples.

Like this example from Sky (full article below with them whining about a few fans booing the ‘take a knee for the poor dark keys’ shite).

“Players started taking a knee when the Premier League resumed from its 100-day shutdown in June 2020 as part of calls to eradicate racial injustice in society following the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis.

Floyd, a 46-year-old Black man, died while being restrained by white police officer Derek Chauvin during his arrest in May 2020.”

Well, even the prosecution in the case said race was not a factor in Floyd’s death. Chauvin’s wife was Asian, he had black mates and the state found no racist shite on his social media/computer. But let’s keep saying it was the reason Floyd died, eh, you fucking cunts.

Do the media mention race when it’s the other way around? Hmm, for some reason they forget to do it. There are plenty of examples of this – too many to mention. The recent murder of the white female cop killed by a dark key. No mention of race for some reason?

From now, I will publicly mention the race of killer/rapist and victim when a dark key is the perp if the case is ever brought up in my presence (“Oh, that’s the case where another unarmed white man was killed by a black man, isn’t it?”)

Fuck off.

https://www.skysports.com/football/news/34651/12307438/fa-cup-final-some-wembley-fans-boo-as-leicester-and-chelsea-players-take-a-knee-before-kick-off

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

Android Lloyd Webber

This fuckin’ cunt has just come out to say that those who refuse to have the COVID vaccination are just as bad as drink drivers in risking the lives of others.

What a fuckin’ ridiculous analogy. Even though I’m completely in favour of the vaccine program, I will always defend those people, who for one reason or another can’t or don’t wish to be vaccinated.

This cunt, just like his sister Rebecca Adlington looks as though his face is being viewed on the back of a dessert spoon. For a cunt as ugly as him, you would think he’d keep a low profile so as not to draw attention to himself.

Fuck off you cunt and go and buy a mask.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-57146619

Nominated by: Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt 

Seconded by: Once a cunt always a cunt

Andrew Lloyd Webber is a bit of a cunt isn’t he?

He has said that not taking the jab is akin to drink driving. Now there’s a metaphor that needs some serious mental gymnastics to get to.

https://itsallaboutworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Andrew-Lloyd-Webber.jpg

(Once a cunt always a cunt used the same link as Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt, so instead we thought we’d include a picture of Andrew showing how he fists his friends – NA)

What an ugly, self important, sanctimonious one trick pony this cunt is. Stick to what you do best and leave the rest of us alone. What is it that he does best anyway?

Join hands and contact the living over at SAGE (and Onion?) for this lady, who holds forth on matters medical, and political on the pandemic:

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/expert-warned-reopening-halted-race-140026395.html

The good Doctor is in fact a social scientist and has no medical qualifications at all (unless she spent a weekend studying at the Doreen Lawrence School for Epidemiology, held, as you know, in Dame Kweer’s downstairs khasi. Help yourself to Harpic and air freshner)

As somebody, wiser than me, once said on ISAC, opinions are like arseholes – we all have one, and that includes this BAME arsehole, but she THINKS she has something special to say, so who are we to stop her?. She will be getting her own series on Wireless 4 if she goes on like that.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2021/05/18/expert-warned-reopening-should-halted-race-adviser-no-medical/

Nominated by: W. C., Boggs

This cunt may set a record for the most cunt nominations in the shortest amount of time. I have cunted her twice this year and here we are again. What the fuck now you ask?
Her rapid flight from reality has now resulted in her “coming out” as non-binary.
Oh FFS!
Whatever this lost soul is washing her brain with is going to lead her to another suicide attempt soon. She is rocketing into unreality and therefore deep unhappiness will closely follow.

Any sane person knows there is male and female only. It seems those who have chosen to deny science, biology, and common sense (less common these days) expect the rest of the world to go along with their trip into insanity. I choose to NOT participate, Demi so once again I call you out as the mad cunt that you are.

https://mol.im/a/9595135

Nominated by: Meat Curtains