Apparently vegan soldiers and airmen are despondent due to the lack of vegan meal options in the Armed Forces. To add insult to injury, woke servicemen are also having to buy their own vegan Doc Martens (is there such a thing? – Ed.) because they cannot in all conscience wear the standard issue leather boots.
Quite right too!
A Vegan Society spokesperson bleated:
“Vegans in the UK, whether they serve in the British Forces or not, have the protection of human rights and equality law. Employers must do everything they can to remove any observed disadvantages faced by vegans. The Vegan Society has heard first-hand from those serving in the Army and RAF who have struggled, not only when it comes to the food on offer but also with uniforms, some having to buy vegan footwear at their own expense!
“These barriers not only make it more difficult for those already following a vegan lifestyle but also have the potential to put off those in the British Forces that are keen to give veganism a go.”
Pro-vegan Jo Foster, claiming to have inside knowledge of the Marines, informed your intrepid ISAC reporter that one Royal Marines training exercise ends with the slaughter and eating of a live rabbit or chicken.
“I didn’t join the Marines to kill rabbits and chickens”, whined Jo, “I signed up to kill people!”
A spokesperson for The Guild of Uphill Gardeners said:
“Guild president Gladimir Putin is quaking in his size 7 Pride issue marching boots.”
This Country Is Finished.
Nominated by: Ruff Tuff Creampuff



