Would it be possible to offer a double cunting for your approval, first cyclists, we all already know they are cunts but bear with me I will explain.
Secondly cunts who can’t seem to go around cyclists are cunts.
Today I was on my motorbike and 30 seconds from my house I encounter 2 lycra clad cock sucking faggots riding 2 abreast, these tits have virtually blocked the road, stuck behind the is an Audi (usually also cunts) and then me.
Anyway the Audi eventually gets around this pair a twats and they are shaking their heads at each other, so I’m sure the didn’t like it when I called them a pair of cunts, and then all I saw all day was groups of these fuck monkeys holding up traffic everywhere we went.
The amount of long queues we sat in where the prick stuck behind these cockwombles didn’t have the balls to get around and missed gap after gap after gap for 2 or 3 miles for fear of getting to close to these twats, grow a pair, I think this new rules where you need 2 meters is crazy, nothing wrong with shaving off a little elbow skin from these cunts in my book….
Nominated by: Fuglyucker
Simply ease the cyclists into the wall or hedge and when the cops arrive just explain that you heard them expressing right wing views – they’ll be taking a knee before you’ve wiped the guts off the mirrors! 👍😀
36
So true. Some people appear to have some sort of paralysis when overtaking cyclists. It’s all made much, much worse by cyclists a) riding 2 or 3 abreast and goading car drivers to overtake and b) ignoring cycle lanes and riding in the road – what’s this all about? You have a dedicated lane, provided at great expense, so fucking use it. In this case, I feel justified in driving inches from the cunts.
However, there also seems to be a trend for oncoming cars overtaking cyclists to swerve into the opposite lane regardless of who is approaching. I have had a few close calls recently on my Triumph with cunts doing this.
28
These woke leftist gay cyclists seemed to get braver with the widespread use of cycle helmet head cams! Coincidence? I don’t think so!
And that’s a rock fact!
Fuck off!
23
I think you’ll find that cameras are no use when the driver goes over the cyclist, gets out, takes the camera and throws whatever is left of the cyclist into a ditch or over a hedge.
15
That is an idealistic thought but unfortunately not when the live camera data is immediately and automatically uploaded to icloud at intervals of your choice where a digital footprint remains until the old bill come looking!
We live in ever increasing the modern times. Sad but true!
8
Just check that your nearside door is properly shut. You know, get your passenger to open it quickly as you pass by and slam it shut.
Oops! Oh dear, sorry mate. 🙄
12
Fed up with these cuntwombles blocking the road with their Lycra-clad bony asses and alien hats. And I agree, cowardly motorists afraid to overtake them add to the pain. How to overtake cyclists should be part of the driving test. Other than that, best course is to just force them into the ditch.
22
I have a bicycle, pre-war sports job (Boer war) 3 speed, very high geared but quite lightweight Royal Enfield. The 3 rear sprockets have a sort of Heath-Robinson design to shift the chain involving a 2 foot spring and some cables which I’m not game to take apart due to probable unavailability of parts. Anyway, the thing works OK, I do not own any lycra, do not have a helmet and never ride it on main roads. Cycle paths and back streets only + across sports fields etc., mostly I ride it to the shops with a knapsack. It came to me from a shed sold by a widower in his nineties back in about 1980. I’ve also taken it on æroplanes disassembled in a box (with the gear mechanism undisturbed) so I can ride it round when I get there – indeed 98% of the fun is working out routes avoiding roads to get wherever I’m going. When driving my car, though, it amazes me that such morons can be allowed out as I see wearing a couple of grand’s worth of revolting spandex on their scandium/titanium devices (I’m sure the Swiss will come up with a more expensive alloy soon enough) (and the Swedes: we have a Swedish pottery shop here which stocks Swedish machines well into the 4 figures but I’m sure if you wanted to blow 50K they could help you out) ..where was I? Oh yes, if I see one on a back street I have much pleasure riding past in 3rd gear at high speed. Great fun – but dreadful going up hills! Other points have been well covered so I’ll shut up.
5
Don’t let Sir Fiddler see this nom – I have it on good authority he is the lifetime President of the Northumbria Cyclists and ramblers society! 😀
18
Yes I have heard he likes to keep it on the qt, Vern. He also lets underprivileged inner city school kids and marginalised communities use the land on the estate to practice their cycling proficiency test.
11
I have it on good authority that though he may ridicule others for trying citrus fruit tasting IPA, Sir Fiddler is in fact partial to a bit of Fruli and some fairy cakes with buttercream filling.
He’ll deny it point blank of course, but you know how the it goes “The gentleman doth protest too much methinks”
11
*how the saying goes
5
Too many cycle lanes and not enough lorries turning left.
I wouldn’t be sad if roadkill in lycra and mangled metal was a more common sight.
13
This is how I’d like to see cyclists get run over (from the film Caligula)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TJNXtQ-4SU
10
I wouldn’t mind if the cunts actually paid to use my fucking roads….. the cunts!
13
I’ve actually overtaken cunts being cunts for not overtaking cunts.
It never used to be like that when I was younger. And as a youngster, I rode bikes.
I find that cyclists now seem to ride about 5 feet from the kerb. Cunts.
18
Could be worse. Imagine what it would be like if the peaceful community took up cycling en masse.
They’re cavalier enough on four wheels, so fuck knows what they’d be like on two. Mind you. Do the untermenchen have enough intellect to balance on two wheels?
14
I saw a group of about 40 dark keys out a few weeks ago – the Black Cycling Network or some such. Gave the cunts a scare on the old Trumpet – they don’t like the sound of a raging triple. Mind you, it set me thinking – is there a Black Swimming Network? Or are they all at the bottom of the pool?
13
Christ. That would mean 40 people have had they’re bikes stolen then. The only time I’ve seen a dark key at the swimming pool, he was thieving from the lockers.
22
You can’t beat a triple at full chat, I had a Ducati once with a Termi exhaust that used to make cyclists fall over….. So satisfying
8
Just wait until the roads are full of electric scooters, I watched a report on these cunts the other day, they are an absolute nightmare and they contribute nothing to the keep fit mantra which we hear about cycling
Cyclist aren’t just cunts on the open road, I was crossing at junction in the centre of Leeds on Monday, lights on red and green light to cross, I was half way past the front of a lorry and a cunt on a bike swerved past the outside of the lorry and just missed me, the cunt only noticed me when the words ‘stupid twat’ we’re ringing in his ears.
Cyclists are cunts but are soon the be out cunted by escooter riding twats.
17
oh dear yes – electric fucking scooters. Seem to be used by the little scrotes round here for drug dealing.
14
If people ride electric scooters on footpaths instead of roads, pedestrians should have the right to push/kick them off for being a danger.
11
I think there should be a new rule for cyclists and lecky scooters when you walking, if they get close enough you can chin the cunts, this means they have to give you an arms length, if you can punch them they are to close and therefore fair game and its even their fault……
9
There is one less in Manchester. I drunk Audi driver ( surprise not ) ran over the cunt who went through a red. Double bonus of one less Audi driver and less scooter cunt.
0
Cycling.
It’s the future cunters.
Better get used to it. Doris and his Mrs are all green and love bikes.
13
Cyclists should be allowed sole use of our roads-between the hours of 3.30-4.00am.
Banned at all other times 👍
17
Hey fuglyucker my second car to my much beloved 17 year old fiat panda is an Audi ..you can go too far………
6
Hi Every, not all Audi owners are cunts 1 Audi owner for every 3 million isn’t a cunt, you must be be od the very, very few non cunt Audi drivers.
You can contact your local Audi main dealer and tell them you didn’t do the special Audi drivers training course, they can book you in, the coarse takes 3 hours, 1 hour of classroom and 2 hours, practical on road training, at the end of the course you will be an Audi driving ubacunt, they even give a certificate of authentication for you insurance company..
Mercedes, BMW and Volvo offer similar courses, but in my worldly experience the Audi course is by far the most effective on by a country mile…… Hope this has been helpful, just Google you nearest dealer, this is done whilst driving aforementioned Audi in rush hour traffic….. Its all in the course anyway, good luck….
11
An American lady I know had to get her British driving licence and she told me that the instructor warned her about Audis.
Driven by cunts to or from the tanning salon/ tattoo parlour/ benefits office/ disabled parking bay.
1
In the fuzz I did a 1 month course 8 hrs a day just to drive a regular cop car. Not fast response or anything fancy. Can only imagine Audi teach you square root of fuck all in a couple hours. Petrol cap, washer fluid. Spare tyre. All covered.
1
I seem to hate cyclists more every day. Just when you think you can’t hate them more, one of the sad cunts does something cuntlike that pushes the boundaries of my loathing to greater heights.
Those that hold up the daily commute are the pinnacle of cunt.
12
In central Cardiff, lots of cycle lanes.
The fucking cunts still use the pavements.
They are also colourblind. Red traffic lights mean NOTHING to the bastardverminscum.
13
Good evening and go fuck yourselves. 😁
11
@fuglyucker that was me in the Audi…I was aaaaht and abaaaaht and you should have said hello.
If I see a bloke on a bike I’ll usually give the minimal amount of space, whilst I rev my engine and smirk at him, however if it’s a woman with a decent body I’ll try and grab a bit of arse…I once managed to slip a finger up a hole…dunno which hole though as she shouted something aaaaht and I had to speed off.
Go fuck yourselves.
20
@B+WC. Are you really trying to convince everyone that you didn’t do a ‘ sniff test ‘ ?
Leave it aaaaaht.
8
Jack – probably a tranny: both “holes” smell the same, apparent 🤮
6
Didn’t have time JTC, I heard a faint ‘Call the police’ or something and I was aaaaht of there, I didn’t have time to have a sniff as I had to control the beast that is the Audi. She was obviously racist.
8
Next Time BW&C I will say hi, just shout oi cunt and I will know its you, but for next time you could have got waaay closer to the cyclists, and if I’m there I will happily be a witness for you brother….
5
When I was a lot younger, honestly so, a friend of mine angled the nearside washer jet on his car towards the kerb so he could slowly overtake cyclists and give them a good soaking in the way past.
Imagine what you could do with modern headlamp washer jets (they don’t seem to work cleaning headlights so this would be putting them to good use😁).
9
Despite not been a speccy 4eyes goggle eyed twat,
Who can see the glint of a pound coin from 300ft in the dark,
I seem not to be able to see cyclists very well?
So if your wearing lycra and have a attitude about road use and cyclist rights be prepared for a slight shove from 3.5ton and some serious hedge rash.
10
Got stuck behind a cyclist earlier today.
The cunt was riding in the middle of the road for roughly a mile causing huge tailbacks.
Was very tempted to ram the ignorant fucker off the road.
Never used to mind cyclists but now I despise them.
9
They can’t be causing all that much of a problem on the roads, most of the cunts I’ve seen lately have been cycling on the pavement.
6
My grandad always said: “If you hit something with the car, you should release it from its suffering”
I still felt sorry for the cyclist!
8
A few years back I saw some arrogant cycling cunt hurtle down my low hedged country lane in front of me, met a car coming in the other direction, swerved and launched like E.T over the hedge and straight in the ditch, I made sure he was okay, and laughed like a drain when I got back in the car, still gives me a giggle!!!
14
As I’ve mentioned before, simply wind down your car window and shout ‘cunt’ or ‘wanker’ as loudly as you can as you pass the lycra clad cockwombles. Doesn’t solve the problem but it makes you feel so much better….
10
I tried that last week – to a female cyclist who was in my way. I shouted “Oi cunt! Get out of my way you fuckin slag.
And no, I don’t care that it was the vicar’s wife on her way to help the needy.
7
When the cunts fall off, because they’ve been too busy gawping at their phones, they get back on the bike and immediately carry on as before.
Twice I’ve seen this happen, and laughed heartily each time. I sense that Darwin is close, real close.
Daft cunts.
Get To Fuck.
8
‘Overtaking Cyclists’
I thought it meant cyclysts overtaking at first. The cyclysts overtaking the cars. Really they (the cyclysts) are undertaking the cars. And the highway code says that’s dangerous. If it’s dangerous for a car then why not a bicycle?
Have anything more to say on the matter? No.
7
As someone who cycles pretty much every day, including winter, which often gets down to -30 celcius where I live, I have a certain amount of sympathy for cyclists, but being inconsiderate to other cunts makes you an even bigger cunt.
There are unbelievably shitty drivers and , likewise, cyclists.
Sweeping generalisations are rarely helpful.
The bright side for the 4 wheeled cunts is that they are surrounded by a ton or more of metal, complete with seatbelts and airbags, which seems to make most of them think they don’t have to take the laws of physics into consideration.
I ride off-road as much as possible, due to all of the above
3
If you cycle in -30C, you deserve all the abuse that comes your way.
5
Completely irrelevant to the nom but this is fucking batshite crazy.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=765527470823007
2
Fuck me Toya is determined to show off her new tits, the old fossil in the background has obviously seen it all before, probably had to sit in the taxidermists waiting room for weeks at a time….
3
I always get behind one of these arseholes when I’m late for work (a regular occurrence I admit). How about just going for a walk to keep fit? And don’t get me started on joggers, utter cunts sweating and gasping all over everybody.
4
With regards to joggers…. how come most of them are skinny cunts that don’t need to jog? Fatties jogging I can understand, at least they are trying something, but skinny cunts? Chill out and have a few pies you unfat cunts!
0
As a 2000 mile a year cyclist i will let you in on a secret. When an inconsiderate cunt ruins your drive , get in front and slow right down- not stop, just about 5 or 10 mph.
The cunt will have to slow down and speed up again – this is where the energy is used up and they hate it. Also no one gets their collar felt.
They are still second to Audi drivers when it comes to a cunt contest.
0
I feel it is very discrimantory to call Audi Drivers Cunt. You forgot to mention Merc and BMW drivers too you racist Fuck, or something 🙂
2
Clarkson wrote several years ago about Audi ‘ Fast becoming the home of the knuckle dragging former BMW driving tailgater ‘
which is a long drawn out way of saying – Cunt.
1