A Place in the Sun

(Couldn’t be arsed finding a suitable header pic for the show. Was more interested with the show’s host, Jasmine Harman and those tits! – DA)

Before you ask there is no equivalent here in Spain called ‘Un lugar en la puta lluvia’…… A Place in the Pissing Rain.

Endlessly repeated programmes about couples wanting to buy a house abroad, usually in Spain.

The newest programmes seem to mostly feature gay or mixed race couples. They are shown around houses by pleasant but dim presenters who have absolutely no idea how to sell a property. They will be shown a house that will bring them to tears of joy and the stupid presenter will say, “Well let’s see if we can better this with our next property”.

CLOSE THE FUCKING DEAL YOU DOZY CUNT!

Why add confusion with another fucking House?

I have met people who have been on the show.
They are told that they must hold hands all of the time, fuck knows why.
They are told to only say positive things about the properties they see.

A guy I know was asked to be a part of the programme and give helpful advice to the couple who were intending to buy. A short sequence was filmed in his garden where he laid on drinks for the potential buyers as well as the film crew. He received fuck all for his trouble.

At the end of the show the presenters demonstrate their complete lack of negotiation skills by meekly putting forward an offer without justification of why that offer is significantly below the asking price and without first asking the clients about what they intend to do if the offer is turned down.

The elation when an offer is accepted is nonsense.

How many of these punters actually proceed and pay up a legally binding deposit?
Not that many, I suspect. As there is yet to be a follow on series about these people happily living in the sun.

Jasmine Harman has got nice tits though.

https://www.aplaceinthesun.com/tv-show

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tv/14978320/a-place-in-the-sun-buyer-cries-offer-rejected/

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

58 thoughts on “A Place in the Sun

  1. Sorry to go off piste early in the thread, but Jasmine Harman!

    I could just imagine me and Jasmine both naked in a bath of Swarfega. Those tits – my old Hampton would be like a homing pigeon for those lovely jugs.

    After a few hours with the lovely Jasmine, my nuts would be so empty that they would be in partial vacuum.

    Sorry, but she gives me the right horn!

    • Recently I’ve lost my enthusiasm for it but you remind me how much fun it once was.

      I think we should make sure she’s aware of your fantasy, she deserves a chance to be there in person.

    • Oh no. That fucking voice, the constant gurning and the evident falseness of her interest.
      There is a tall Jockish one though —

    • Her facial expression in that pic is screaming out “Go on then! I know you want to stick your huge throbbing manhood between my heavenly baps, you grubby little oik!”

      • I had that thought but I reject the label grubby little Oik

        I’m a grubby little Erk.

    • Jasmine Harman is sexy as fuck.
      I could die happy ploughing that cleavage….
      …. nurse! – the screens! 🙂

  2. A lovely pair of titties on that girl – you wouldn’t get many of them to the pound.

    I have never seen the programme.

    • ‘I dont wanna holiday in the sun’- sang that nice Johnny Rotten and I agree!
      Ive never seen this show for obvious reasons
      I hate hot weather
      I hate foreigners
      Living in fuckin Spain?
      Like being sent to Devils Island!
      The Papillon nightmare.
      Just the thought makes me feel ill.

    • I wonder how she scored that gig?

      Producer: What skills have you got?
      Her: Soapy tit wank?

      • There was a girl who “hung around” a group I was in, who had amazing tits.
        I christened her “Sophie Tit-wank” as that is precisely what she performed on me, when I found myself pissed up and in her company😚

        We still refer to her as such, I understand she is now a respectable pillar of the community😉

  3. Why you would want to live in a hot country? Whenever I’ve been in Australia, the Convicts all have the air conditioning set to 20° whilst ironically saying, “Awww fuck yee, nice an’ warm, eh?” Alternatively it’s living in Spain with mass unemployment and overweight, sunburnt cockneys festooned with cheap jewellery. Give me a mild temperature any day.

    • After weeks of fucking rain and late autumn temperatures here in London, I would LOVE to live in Australia, the heat, the flies, the beach – it would be fair dinkum.. I’d leave the Sheila here in the UK though, with her fucking soaps.

      • You’d loathe it, Boggsy. You’d miss the rain, believe me. Also, you definitely wouldn’t need any soap there; they avoid it like the French.

      • Not me WC. Full of spiders, snakes and horrible creepy crawlies. And Aussies.

        Too hot, too dry, full of organs on route to the bottle-o (off licence).

        It is having changeable weather that makes us appreciate the warm sunny days when we get them. I like the seasons though they are now getting a bit mixed up.

        Would hate to live somewhere where the climate never changed.

  4. I’ve seen this programme….seems to be fat,lobster-coloured,common-as -muck types who make ridiculously low offers or The Gays, who are so busy making sure that everyone knows they’re Gay that I’ve normally turned off before they get the chance to waft their Pink Pounds in the air.

    • I recently saw a bit of some programme with “fun-loving Brits” who lived in some kind of Spanish Blackpool….truly dreadful….made you ashamed to be British. No wonder foreigners dislike us.

      • Donkeys, sand, food poisoning.
        Spains just Blackpool with a lisp.

      • Do they still have donkey rides in Blackpool ? Should be stopped…fat stupid bastards crawling off their cripple chariots to inflict their bloated carcasses on some donkey…or revolting snivelling brats who would be better served by a sound thrashing for both them and their benefit-sponging “care-givers”.

  5. You seem to have missed the point. The presenter is not trying to sell the property. So no deal to close.
    They’re showing people options not selling.

    I do wish they’d do somewhere other than the Costa del Crap tho….

    • Indeed. Very rarely Greece or Lisbon.
      Miserable cunts who want 10 acres for the horses, 4 bedrooms for their enormous family, a pool, and not to be overlooked by any other people.
      And change from 10 guineas. I love the moment when some Pilar or Manuel says “Fuck off you mean cunts!!”

  6. Never heard of her. Checked out google images, might have nice tits, but by god she is good at gurning.

  7. However makes this television programme are obviously lazy cunts who don’t care about ratings.
    If they were professionals then they’d have that big titted lass present it topless.
    Nicely oiled up.

  8. I suppose it’s Escape To The Cuntry, by sea, with chavs taking the place of the Hyacinth and Richard Bucket wanabees?

  9. Yep its escape to the country for bucket n spades duckies.
    I saw a posh couple from London on escape to the country, massive budget, the woman never smiled once.
    She didnt like any off the properties,
    Theyd asked to see a period property
    Then pulled her face,
    I dont like beams, or thatched roofs, or any period features,
    Why ask for period then you stupid twat?!!
    No fuckin way theyd move to a small village and get on with the locals.
    Right awkward cunt.

    • I am sure most of them “buyers” don’t have the slightest ntention f buying a “property” (with or without “land”) as they like to call houses and gardens.

      Most of them are up-their-own-arse social climbers who want to be on telly to impress then Forsythe-Smythes next door, who, they suspect, are slightly better off than them – thats why they boast they are looking for something about £1 million.

      What annoys me is that we are paying for their weeks stay in a good hotel, the expenses for “experiences” and their meals. As the BBC are so strapped for cash they should stop making the programmes and repeat the 1000 episodes they have recorded thus far.

      I have never forgotten the Yank and his snobby wife, who lived in a pokey flat in \north London and wished to “locate to a property in Surrey”. Money was no object – up to £1.5 million. After the most carping critisism of each property, they ev entually decided to stay in the London flat because the nearby school was so ideal for little Jemima, then eight months old or something.

      Total fakes being indulged.

      • Just emphasises the “me me me” mentality, and the sad oneupmanship some losers crave for in order to look good on social media!

        The BBC should really do a validity check before allowing these desperados to appear on the show, but of course that would be deemed intrusive, especially against the BAME element.

  10. Cheap shit airtime filling TV for the living dead who spend their hours glued to the idiot lantern.

    I wish they woyuld find a place in the sun so they can all fuck off to Spain and not clutter up my neck of the woods with their vans, caravans and tenting. All the beaches and beauty spots round here are turning into Soweto.

    Fuck off abroad you chav cunts.

  11. Day time TV – you’re dead a long time why bother watching this tripe (easy on the eye presenters not withstanding)?!

    • I never used to turn the telly on before 9pm, but lately it’s getting to 10.30 before I put it on, usually to watch something recorded. I can always find something better to do, even cleaning the cat litter tray is better than daytime TV.

  12. How about “Escape from the Peacefuls”? That would be a popular show. Not many countries you could film it though.

  13. Nice pic – definitely the way to start the morning on full mast compared to yesterday’s ghastly header pics of Flabbott, The Gays and Paltrow’s fetid cock cavity!

    Never watched the show – probably full of patronising toff presenters and chav dimwits trying to look knowledgeable and clever in front of the cameras.

  14. Here we have today on our show Mr & Mrs Chavwood from Rochdale who are looking to buy a holiday property here in (insert Costa) that they can visit with their 3 dogs and 12 grandchildren.
    What sort of property then are you in the market for?
    Well Jasmine we’d like a villa with a pool, barbecue, outside space for the dogs,, that has 4 bedrooms and overlooks the sea.
    That sounds wonderful, and your budget?
    50,000 but we could stretch to 55,000 couldn’t we love.

    Mrs Infidel watches that shite as I’m reading ISAC either by the pool or outside space.

  15. Are there any parts of Spain that haven’t been subjected to fish and chip shops and pubs with union flags on display? As patriotic as I am it would be nice to escape the numpties now and then. Fat old wimmin red as a lobster revelling way to much flesh and even fatter blokes with their scorched bald heads and bloated guts in full display.

      • Seville is 40c in July and August. And expensive. Stick to the coast and a sea breeze. Malaga is cheap to get to, good beaches, castle, lovely centre, restaurants and bars; and cultural. Birthplace of Picasso.
        From there, Cordoba 60 minutes by fast rail.
        Or Ronda by bus.
        No plebs, and classy.

      • And as for that minx Jasmine.
        I would slip her the stiffest length of the finest pork muscle she’s never seen. She wouldn’t be disappointed. It would be the sweetest 40 seconds of her life…

  16. Oh it’s alright, but there’s only 27 rooms and 12 shitters, it’s not quite what we wanted compared to our £800 grand 2 bedroom shoebox back in Kensington.

    Fuck off cunts. Hope you get skin cancer in your place in the sun, and stick that up your fucking bum.

  17. It’s only got 2 bedrooms.

    The kitchen’s a bit small.

    There isn’t a pool.

    There aren’t any sea views.

    What the fuck do you expect for £50k?

    Let’s make an offer of a tenner.

    Often thick/fat/gay pasty looking cunts often saying “oh-wow” when looking at a complete shit hole who have absolutely no intention of buying who want their 15 minutes of fame albeit on daytime tv.

  18. “And on todays show we have Boris, who is looking for a very private location far away from any legal action”.
    “All I did was lie to a nation and dump a few thousand pensioners in nursing homes to die”..

  19. If her frontal attributes were any larger, she’d have to walk on all fours. A thought which opens up all sorts of interesting opportunities…

  20. I cant endorse this cunting, only because of Jasmine’s huge tits and long legs.

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