Vimto

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Yes, that’s right the can of drink called Vimto. Yeuch.

Who buys this and why is it a thing? How do they make money from this hideous stuff? Must be money laundering. Think of all the other drinks out there, Cream of Soda, Lemonade, anything but Vimto.

I don’t even buy soft drinks anymore but was just watching Usain Bolt do a taste test on You Tube which involved Vimto and I remembered the sad day when I was 11 and tried the stuff and spat it out.

Nominated by: Cuntologist 

90 thoughts on “Vimto”

  2. It is grape and raspberry flavour with some other herbs/spices. I quite like it, but as with everything it is all down to personal taste.

    Although I appreciate the nominator’s dislike, I can’t see how it can be cunted. Sorry.

      • I buy the cordial and mix it with refrigerated carbonated water, the bittersweet combination is most refreshing.

        I suspect anyone who doesn’t like Vimto is most likely a descendant of Hitler, gay and cannot finish an arrowword!

        Fuck off!

      • That helps enormously; now I will always think of it as Vomit.

        Tbh I was 1 sheet to the wind when writing up this whimsical nom.

    • I agree Paul, I quite like it myself – and you can buy it as juice to which you add water to dilute to taste.

      Miles better than bloody Iron-Bru, no doubt drunk in large quantities by SNP MPs – especially Blackford (if he puts enough whisky in it). They don’t even have to pay for it – they get it on expenses.

      • As cuntish as the Scotch Nazis are Irn Bru Xtra is rather a nice drink.

  3. Does Vimeo still exist? Remember that from the late 70s and early 80s. Don’t recall particularly liking or disliking it but support Cuntologist’s right to vent their spleen on the award-winning website ISAC. From Emily Whatshername’s tits and a highbrow discussion of inflation to slagging off soft drinks, this website has it all. Has more breadth of opinion than The Guardian. Probably has more readers too.

    Thought #25…
    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2021/01/17/thought-of-the-day/

  4. I can remember the Corona van coming round our estate in the 60’s . Their was no Vimto but i particularly liked the Cherryade.

    • I remember the milkman delivered them too. There used to be a couple of pence deposit on the glass bottle, which you would rinse out and return.

  5. Original Vimto wasn’t fizzy and you could only really find it oop north (in my case anyway). Having lived oop north and Devon as a kid in the 70s/80s, I loved Vimto and could never find it in Devon.

    It spread nationwide in the late 80s/ early 90s it seems, and then became available as a fizzy drink in cans. I was never keen on the fizzy version (a bit like when they tried fizzy Ribena in cans compared to the flat stuff).

    As pop, it’s not too bad, can’t agree with this cunting, sorry.

    But Lilt? Now that is pure fucking drain fluid. I could get behind cunting Lilt. Or that Yank shite, Satan’s Jizz itself, ‘Dr Pepper’.

  6. Like most soft drinks it’s been ruined by the sugar tax. Artificial sweeteners in the modern recipe just don’t give the same taste. A bottle of fizzy Vimto (or Dandelion & Burdock) used to be the finest accompaniment to a good chippy tea. A kind of northern wine for the connoisseur of a good post chippy tea burp.

  7. Circa 1976 it was American Cream Soda that reigned supreme.
    I prefer cider now.

    • I ♥️ Vimto.
      Theres a statue in Manchester city centre dedicated to Vimto.
      I see it as a altar to worship this refreshing mineral.
      Its British its Northern and it great, from a bottle though!
      Not a can, and still not that fizzy shite!

      • Morning MNC, Morning Cuntologist, Godd morning everyone.

        I remember drinking hot sarsaparilla which we would buy by the glass from stalls at South London street markets. Delicious and warming. Of course, like most things in this public health obsessed world, it had been banned because it is carcinogenic or some such cunt.

        Presumably, Vimto is not banned because it has been fucked about with to ‘keep us safe’. That said, it still tastes quite nice to my jaded palate. Sorry, cannot support the nom.

        Public health Nazis are the real enemy of the people because they positively shine with virtue as they ruin our lives. In fact they are just power crazed cunts.

      • Indeed. Original ‘dilute to taste’ Vimto isn’t bad. The fizzy stuff? Meh. Not keen.

  9. Don’t remember ever bothering with Vimto back in my yoof. But I do recall the Corona pop (sounds really weird given today’s dink flu); and Cresta (especially the TV ad of the cool sunglasses-wearing bear)

    And then there was Quatro (not the car but the drink) – awful piss-smelling shite, that kind of typified the big brash falseness of the plastic 1980s

    • I recall Quatro – I think it had kiwi fruit in it. Yes, dreadful stuff. Now lime Citrus Spring was 80s manna from heaven. Christ knows why they discontinued it.

    • I remember that fucking advert for Quatro. Talk about over the top bollocks.

      We (kids at the time) all went mad for it though because of the advert I recall. For about half a can before it got binned. It was worse than Lilt, which is saying something. I remember it wasn’t on sale for very long, despite a huge advertisement campaign.

      It was fucking shite.

  10. Gentlemen and ladies, what we have inadvertently stumbled across here is a clear example if the North / South divide.
    🤔

    As a cunter fluid in both languages, I can sympathise with Cuntologist.

    For example, a “chippy tea” north of Oxford, will conjure up an image of a tray of Lardy chips, sausage, fish or a hot pie, soaked in vinegar and smothered in salt, by a greasy skinned youth or bored looking girl, to be eaten in the house, of the paper and tray. Sauce and a few slices of bread and butter👍

    Sometimes whilst enjoying a glass of Vimto, simultaneously eating and smoking a tab.

    South of Oxford, a “chippy tea” means food served by an uppity ethnic type.

    Hope this helps👍

  11. Often have Vimto in the dilute version, as my son and I both quite like it. Daughter can’t stand it. Haven’t had fizzy version for awhile.
    I can’t quite understand the world’s obsession with cola. It seems to dominate supermarket shelf’s and whilst it’s ok, I rather drink a Dandelion & Burdock or Raspberry Lemonade. Cawston Press Rhubarb I really like, but the one I miss from my childhood is Peardrax.
    Cola? Ok, but bland.

    • Cawston Press rhubarb. Now you’re humming my tune. Not too sweet but a strong, pleasant whack of rhubarb. Hits the spot.

      • Indeed Paul and I see you mentioned Lime Citrus Spring. A favourite of mine, alas discontinued. Made by Britvic, which had it’s major factory in my home town. A friend worked there and a couple of times got me crates of 24 from the staff shop at a heavy discount.
        Now closed and a retail park.
        Market is now dominated by Coca Cola.

      • Yes Chelmsford born and bred. Currently live within close distance of the old Britvic factory in the Widford part of Chelmsford.

    • I’ve never understood the Coke business either. I don’t drink it as I don’t particularly like it but I also recall doing an experiment back in school where we poured some Coke into a glass containing some teeth. After a week they were all rubbery as there wasn’t a scrap of enamel left on them, the acid in the Coke had dissolved it.

  12. Vimto in the summer.
    Bovril in the winter.

    Scientists, religious scholars, historians all agree.
    Its the natural order.

    • The scots love Irn Bru
      Yanks love Root beer which tastes like Germolene!
      But the best mineral out there is made by Fentimans!
      Has a little picture of a alsatian on the bottle.
      No artificial ingredients, tasty as it gets!
      Cherry Cola, pink lemonade (ducky!) Elderflower presse (oh my!) Its lovely stuff.
      And British 🇬🇧
      I used to like when Alpine delivered mineral on a flatbed lorry.

      • Agree with you on the Fentimans, Mis. It’s the nearest you can get to what stuff used to taste like before the big multinational corporations and the anti-sugar mobsters got their teeth into the soft drinks market. Downside is it can be quite expensive.

      • Morning mister Dribbler.
        Years ago (90s) I was working over near Rawtenstall and they had a shop that sold all the old fashioned minerals, it was a leftover from when the Temperance movement were having a impact.
        Doubt its still there now.
        But lovely stuff.
        Yes, I buy Fentimans on a Friday to compliment my chippy Tea.
        I feel a bit Larry Grayson drinking pink lemonade but im shameless😀

      • Mr Fitzpatricks in Rawtenstall still does a roaring trade, Miserable Northern Cunt. Their Blood Tonic and Sarsaparilla cordials are nice. They even sell the dried root so you can make your own. Very much still going and well worth a visit.

        Fentimans on the other hand is now made in a large factory in Gateshead and went to ratshit when Robinson’s, the Stockport brewer, started marketing it a few years ago. Basically it is now overpriced shite for ponces with too much spare cash, like Fever Tree Tonic water and Hendricks gin.

  14. It always tasted like cough medicine to me. Vimto might have been all the rage in 30’s Britain where sickly, sweet drinks were a novelty. It’s out of date now, along with Lucozade and that Scottish shite, Irn Bru.

  16. When we were on Rugby tour we used to buy tins of pop,crack them open and then tip them out of the slidy-wide windows as we overtook pushbikers …if we had no full cans,we’d piss in empty beer-cans and chuck that over the weaselly Cunts.*

    * Not Vernon…at least not knowingly.

    • Truck drivers Tizer Mr F. Anything wet and rancid poured on cyclists is a winner in my book. Cunts. Just eagerly awaiting a new horn for my crewcab tipper, I got the loudest one I could. Hopefully it’ll make the vermin of the road fall off when I’m an inch off their back wheel.

  17. Years ago when I ran the cricket club bar we use to serve a drink called a ‘Cheeky Vimto’ The ladies would drink the neck of a WKD (a turquoise alcopop) and I would then fill it with Vimto. I am told it was effective at increasing the elasticity of the young ladies’ underwear.

  18. Vimto the cordial is a refreshing beverage. Not keen on fizzy anything but I’m sure fizzy vimto is better than that toxic piss irn bru. The jocks are proud of that?

  20. Fucking dangerous stuff apparently.
    I had a mate who suffered with dyslexia. Poor bugger was found dead.
    The inquest said he’d choked on his own vimto.

  21. Fuck all wrong with vimto. Agreed it’s been sanitised a bit over the years but still ok by me.
    As a kid mum would buy a huge pot bottle of dandelion and burdock every week from Bolton direct. I got to use the bottle as a hot water bottle and still got it.
    Does anybody know anything more boring than that?

    • I was thinking about it, there’s a flash of mons pubis scarcely concealed by the little minx’s cottontails. You have to look close… erm

  23. I liked it as a child but haven’t had it for several years. In part because it seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth nowadays.

  24. I take it we’ve temporarily run out of obnoxious celebs and arsehole politicians?😁

  25. Remember being given a bottle of Vimto and straw in the 60’s. Then discovered Vimto was an anagram of vomit. Haven’t touched it since.

  26. I can remember a fruit drink called Um Bongo, I wonder what happened to that ?
    You would do a roaring trade at blm marches with that stuff.

    • Dey drink it in dee Congo.

      Imagine putting that advert on the telly now? Fuck me, your feet wouldn’t touch the fucking ground.

    • As a kid we always had Ben Shaws lemon and lime, it was made in Huddersfield. Long gone now.
      We only got it in big bottles, not fucking tin cans the size of a thimble.
      And we got 10p back on the empty bottle, recycling before most of these trendy bastards who bang on about it, were even born.

      • You can still order some of their products online it seems (not the one you mention, but ‘Cloudy lemonade’ is there and I remember that being quite nice).

        I remember their shandy being quite good too (I am not afflicted with the gayness, I treat shandy as ‘pop’ not beer).

        https://benshawsdrinks.com/products/

  27. Excellent nomination, Cuntologist. 🙂

    I don’t remember the last time I drank Vimto. Is it like ribena or that french grenadine? I might have to give it a little taste just to remind myself.

    Perhaps drink it from a glass bottle. I find everything tastes better from a glass bottle for some reason. 🙂

  29. I occasionally had Vimto as a child in the ’60s and liked it. Come the ’80s I had half a kidne I took from one woman, fried, it was very nise with Vimto. Tother piece I praserved. I may post a link to the bloody knif that took it out if youl only wate a whil longer.

  30. We had Crystavite as a kid, I think that was a kind of knock off Vimto. Remember liking it. Had some fizzy Vimto last week, on a whim. Christ was it sweet/gassy, but it did perk up when i topped it off with rum!

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