The News (2)

I haven’t really been making any effort to keep up with the news but I just did and now I feel like a mental patient. This is what I found out and wish I hadn’t:

  • Sturgeon – Hokey Cokey guilty/not guilty bs going on there. Still in power though.
  • Lawrence Fox – warned he was breaking C-19 rules even though everyone and his Mother knows he is campaigning for London mayor.
  • Boris – says publicans could be allowed to stop the unjabbed from going to their pubs. Fuck sake, thin end of digital papers please society.
  • Government – say they will not hesitate to interrupt trade of medicines and food from France to ‘stop new variants coming in’. Fucking hell, now they are prepared to let people go without medicine even though half the country has immunity (either had it or is jabbed). Meanwhile, keep the rubber boats coming in eh?
  • John Lewis – 1500 people at risk of job loss and several stores to never open again. Let the shops open and let us shop in them then, that might help. The data shows the crisis is over.
  • Jab – children will be jabbed if the study comes back as safe to do so. What do children need it for exactly?
  • Comments from Mail Online – jab is bad, once the jabbed are exposed to the actual virus, their symptoms will lead to death. Oh for goodness sake, what fresh hell is this?

Toying with the idea of running away to live like Grizzly Adams.

Nominated by: Cuntologist 

57 thoughts on “The News (2)

  1. Holy Fuck. And here I thought our news was bad s’all about some cunt in uniform wot kneed another cunt to death a year ago on trial mixed in with propaganda about a geriatric President Cunt meanwhile I’m getting me tits in a tangle over the Home Country doing a good job of keeping the chinky flu out as well as everyone else and has vaccinated approx two people including the Prime Minister and her fat cunt sidekick.

  2. But you forgot the good news. Some young twat who may have been a member of some allegedly “neo Nazi” group before he became a copper is about to be given a stretch in the nick, The lazy fat arsed Old Bill management are all over the MSM bragging about how clever they are. Sorry, if being a member of a cunt organisation is a crime we haven’t got enough prisons to lock up the members of the Conservative and Labour Parties. I’d let the Lib Dumbs off with a warning, the crazy mixed up kids.

    • So true Freddie. They’re wanking themselves silly that “they’ve found one”. Oh dear, what a crime, to have “right wing” views. Left wing ones are ok though. Cunts.

      • Indeed My Lord. Their back slapping and self congratulations is truly sickening to behold. No mental elf card being played there.

    • Got a poster of a Wehrmacht grenadier from 1943?
      Then you are a terrorist.
      Perhaps they can fly off to California and arrest Ginger Prince Harry for dressing up as Hitler once at a party?

      The cunts in govt and the media want to distract attention from the Jihadi vermin by tarring everyone right wing as terrorists,thus balancing out their narrative.
      What a set of weak twats.
      Fuck Off.

      • The media had a field day with that report, so one out of the twenty three thousand on the M15 watch list is right wing but you can bet the next atrocity with be a peaceful who was ‘known to police’

  3. Apparently, on Friday, April 18, 1930, at 8:45pm, BBC radio made this announcement: “Good evening. Today is Good Friday. There is no news.” For the rest of the 15-minute time slot, the station played only piano music.

    That would help cunters keep their piss temperature down to manageable levels.

    Hope everyone enjoys the long weekend and spends their time thoroughly inebriated or with the raging horn. Perhaps both.

    A blasphemous joke for Good Friday…
    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2021/04/02/joke-of-the-day-30/#more-13675

    • It’s reassuring that Christian’s don’t kick off and want to kill in the name of Blasphemy. And a good job for you Mike you naughty boy….

      • I suppose so, I only got caned and backhanded, not beheaded by the blackshirt cunts at papist school.

  4. The only thing worth listening to on the news is the shipping forecast.

  5. Do my absolute best to avoid looking at and reading the news. I occasionally fail and end up feeling the same as you; wishing I hadn’t bothered. Daft enough click onto the bleeding biased corp news the other day. Noticed they still have a section on Brexit fuck me thought that was done. Clicked on it and several sodding stories about how we are losing out because of it. No idea when Andrew Neil’s GB news starts but it wants to get a move on. News=Nothing to see or read here. Well nothing but woke shit anti British propaganda.

  6. ‘”Tne news” stopped being about news a long, long time ago.
    It is now the seventh circle of hell.
    On “Fox News” ( fuckoff Murdoch – sue me) I’m off for a bike ride.

  7. Since going back to work, I have discovered that the ‘news’ is mostly propaganda regarding the covid / vaccine situation and celebrity gossip.

    Once all of the crap is filtered, there leaves only about 10% of actual news that is important..

    Eg. Oil prices going up, big container ship stuck in canal, an oportunity to get rid of Sadique Khan, the EU eating itself from the inside etc.

  8. The MSM fucked themselves in 2016. They spent every waking moment after June 23rd telling us how dumb we are and we didn’t know what we were voting for. You can’t go around insulting people and expect them to sit on their arses and take it. They crossed the line and there’s no going back now.
    Fuck you BBC!

  9. Don’t forget the assumptive narrative.

    Today 54 people died in the last 24 hours after testing positive for Covid 19…..Not from it, testing positive within 28 days of a test.

    Derek Chauvin trial starts today for the murder of George Floyd…Oh so you’ve already decided he was murdered, and not died of a massive drugs overdose.

    Only 60% of the BAME (You can’t say that anymore) community have been given the vaccine. Compared with their white counter-parts…..Wait you mean refused to have rather than not been offered it….

    Cuntish deception.

  10. There is a most definite ant-police bias on Wireless 4 at the moment – from the naughty “sexist” police officers, who ill-treated the wimminz on Clapham Common, much to the displeasure of the American broad who leads “Reclaim The Streefs” and the murder of Ms. Everard” (why does that keep making me think of Larry Grayson?) – shut that door), which a serving police officer has been charged with is encouraging the BBC to find every bit of dirt on every police officer – one yesterday who might (or might not) have “raped two wimminz” (one of whom apparently was his live in partner) and the other one who apparently joined a right wing organisation prior to joining the thin blue line.

    Perhaps the BBC and Labour would prefer an all-gay police force, if these nasty straight white officers are so beastly – violent, racist and sexist to the girls?

  11. I nearly forgot…….Happy Easter ladies, gentlemen, gender neutrals, cross dressers, bummers and other sexual deviants. I might nip out and buy a chocolate egg later on…….just to stick it to the peacefuls and the cunting BBC. 🇬🇧

  12. Great nom. The other day on ITV evening news the main story was that Deliveroo drivers/cyclists are paid less that national minimum wage!! There are regular reports about “certain groups”-you know who they are-being offended and/or being apologised to. No foreign news at all. Absolute shit .Might as well have put cartoons on.

  13. Most BBC/ITV/Sky news is fake news infected with the woke bias of the journalists that write and present it. Which is why I’m looking forward to Andrew Neil’s new GB News channel.

    However, I read an unconfirmed report that that colossal mega-cunt, Kay Burley, is leaving Sky to work on GB News. I hope this is not true otherwise it’s going to shake my confidence in GB News. Burley is the worst type of journalist – a self important, woke hypocritical CUNT.

      • A Fray Bentos pie? Had she abruptly left our very own lord DF’s abode during luncheon without his knowledge?

    • BBC radio news is predominately about trannies and ethnics, it’s almost like a specialist channel catering for people of that persuasion. The interval between the news starting and me hitting the “off” button gets shorter every day. I know, I know I probably shouldn’t bother with it at all, but I do like to get the weather forecast from time to time.

  14. British taxpayers funded EU factory at heart of vaccine row

    Dutch factory equipped to produce Oxford jab after major investment from UK last April, but Brussels insists doses must stay in Europe

      • Exactly. We want the vaccines you financed, developed and paid for – but only to stop you using them because we’re malignant, spiteful cunts.

      • Brussels is petrified at the progress the UK is making with the vaccine rollout.

        As things stand our economy is set to recover at least 3 months ahead of the EUs, they’ll be even further behind if they don’t get their act together from this moment on, and they’ll do anything they can to slow our recovery down.

        And that’s on top of what they’re doing anyway to punish us for Leaving.

      • And that is plain to see, yet there are still some stupid cunts who think we need to rejoin. Once the dust settles and we are in the sunlight again, other members will see that the grass is definitely greener and might follow suit. And that’s why we will always be in the EU’s cunt book.

      • Surely the evidence of their lack of good faith is enough to set aside the NI Protocol and May’s Traitor Treaty?

      • You’re letting Johnson off the hook there.

        After he took over from May, Boris promised to renegotiate the Traitor Treaty (Withdrawal Agreement) but then did fuck all apart screw our fishermen /women and sell Northern Ireland down the river with the NI Protocol, a treachery he alone was responsible for.

        Oven ready deal? Bad fucking deal more like!

      • You’re right Ruff Tuff. The government needs to grow a pair.

  15. And the turd topping on our Easter cake is Doreen Lawrence’s ugly mug looking out from today’s Guardian. I couldn’t be bothered to read the accompanying dross but I am sure it is something about evil white people.

    • It’s about the recent report on “systemic racism” which has given the “green light” to raaaaaay-sists and set race relations back twenty years. No, you managed that all by yourself you cunt.

      • I have made a nomination for the old tart. I hesitated though because it could sound a little bit waycist, and I didn’t want to upset Dawn Butler. But I faced up to it in the end, innit.

  16. Tired this morning.
    Up early, getting rid of the dog turds ive been saving up ( easter egg hunt at the church for refugees kids)
    What a lovely day, bright an crisp an fresh.
    I don’t worry about the news its mostly propaganda for the woke,
    Youd get the blues if you took any notice and im not a goth.
    Cheer yourself up,
    Get some fresh air,
    Whistle a jaunty tune,
    And remember for every easter egg eaten a asylum seeker drowns at sea.

  17. According to an item on Wireless 4 news this morning at 0530 (a trail for a programme on at 1100 this morning) Anthony Blair “didn’t enjoy being Prime Minister” which is no doubt why the old queen dug in fir ten years.

    His voice gets more pansified each time you hear it – he sounds more like a retired allet dancer than a politician.

  18. Good cunting.

    The news is just a load of made up terror shit. The Covid is gonna get you if you go out, the Russians are coming, your kids will become druggies and sex slaves, the fatso police are busy murdering women and beating up old ladies in the backs of their vans, everyone is a racist including the countryside, Sadiq Khan is set to win again, Hairsniffing Joe the leader of the western world.

    Fuck me, we deserve some good news. Ah, here’s some… The Eurovision Gay Contest is back this year.

    • I deplore racism, but the countryside is no place for ethnic minorities.

  19. No more news please, unless it’s of the variety regarding WJ Krankie’s demise, political or, even better, just ceasing to extort her toll on life. Needs her face slapping with a prison tawse.

  20. Lead last night, 6 oClock, BBC.

    Some fucking half wit is a copper and also part of a Horst Wessel drinking and wanking club.
    How many were murdered? How much ordinance was siezed? Er, nobody and none. The Far Right are taking over.

    Followed by how racist we are. By cunts whose livelyhoods depend on it – Kehinde Andrews, some Begum or other, random middle class priveliged Londoners with sun tans. And of course, Doreen Lawrence breaks cover.

    Fuck me.

    Meanwhile.
    Burmese are being murdered by their government.
    Kaffirs are killing and destroying in Mozambique.
    Rape is still the most popular pastime in S Africa.
    Migrant workers are dying and kept as slaves in Qatar. Building football stadia.
    Ethiopean military are murdering people.
    The Chinese carry on with their repressive activities and concentration camps.

    I could go on but am so consumed by racism and privelige that my shame prevents it.

  21. There’s been a good one in Yankland this week. Apparently sheet music is raaaaay-sist. That’s SHEET music, as in written down on paper, not SHIT music, as in rap. Oh yes, it’s “rooted in colonialism” and very bad for you. Fuck me, you learn something new every day.🎼

  22. Meanwhile in gulag UK, Boris and his corrupt chums are queuing up to implement the new £37 Billion “covid passports” scheme…..no passport? get your things and get on the truck.

    I bet all his mates who run pubs or are friends with Carrie his latest slapper are foaming at the mouth to get the contracts.

    That yank skank who Boris was cheating on his wife with seems to have come out of the woodwork again too.

    • I must admit I am on the The Big Chunk Cunt team on the passport bullshit, I have had the vaccine, 1st dose, and will have the second but I am not going to get a passport to do anything in the UK, they can fuck off.
      I am ok with a vaccine certificate if you want to go abroad and the country you are visiting require it, it’s their country so the6 are entitled to protect their borders.

  23. I don’t mind news, actual news but what pisses me off is the manufactured news like the ‘Marcus Rashford’ campaign, it isn’t news.
    Selectively reporting is a cunt, for example.
    The report on grooming didn’t highlight a problem with P*ki men because if you take the UK as a whole then it would appear that it isn’t an issue so there is no comment on the news about it being wrong if you look at certain areas of the UK
    Compare this with the report on racism which has had coverage every hour of every day since it’s release because the blacks and libtards don’t like it, same with the report on the police handling of the Clapham Common vigil (but this one was swamped by the racism report)

    Cunts

  24. The University of Winchester has unveiled a statue of Greta Thunberg.

    Who, ironically, is too thick to qualify for further education.

  25. It’s no longer “News” it’s “Newspeak”. Just as Eric Blair predicted (ironic surname that, sharing it with one of the architects of the “new order”).

    Omnipresent CCTV cameras spying on your every move.

    Cameras in the TV sets and communication devices that you buy easily accessed by third parties.*

    Microphones in your house analysing your every word.*

    A “police force” enforcing the doctrines of their masters and ensuring thoughts and views comply whilst ignoring “real crime”.

    *luckily these two remain optional at the moment as does “consuming Newspeak” – how long before the non-compliant risk being chained to a chair, with their eyelids locked open, sat in front of a giant screen playing Newspeak 24/7 whilst savages roam the streets?

  26. Sky are wankers. I remember when Creepo Jacko snuffed it in 2009. The Sky knobheads had a ‘Breaking News: Michael Jackson Taken Ill’ caption up for hours on end, with the cameras outside his mansion gates showing nothing but the gates of his mansion, again for hours on end. This pointless tedium went on for ages. ‘Breaking News’ that told viewers nothing and lasted for about nine hours.

    And then there’s their absurd ‘Transfer Window’ coverage. Turning overpaid and overrated donkeys being bought and sold for obscene amounts of money into an ‘event’ that lasts all day. Again, boring as fuck. Footage of some fat cunt players agent in a black windowed posh car is seen as ‘news’.

    Sky is a waste of both time and money.

    • Sky are horrible cunts.
      The way the SkySports News channel relentlessly promoted Black Lives Matter with near permanent captions at the bottom of the screen was unforgivable.
      Knowing only too well what a divisive race baiting racket the organisation is.
      The cunts.
      Although it has always been wank, I now find that I can’t watch the channel at all.
      Something else stolen from me by the woke agenda.

  27. It’s unfortunate that during my lifetime, the ‘news’ has morphed from reporting what is going on in the world into propaganda with a political agenda. I rarely watch the news and as I’ve got older (more cynical) I really don’t care. Here’s my assessment/reaction to the fucking BBC’s “news” website headlines and sub-headlines as of April 2 2021 at 7:55AM CST:

    Dozens killed as train crashes and derails in Taiwan tunnel –
    Unfortunate for sure, but I wished it happened in India or Pakistan.

    Dutch PM Rutte narrowly survives no-confidence vote –
    Don’t care

    James Charles: YouTube star admits messaging 16-year-old boys –
    Never of him and don’t care

    Australia: Geologist beaten up by ‘angriest octopus’ on beach –
    That needed to be a sub-headline on the BBC news website? Fucking really?

    Covid 19: Pakistan among new countries added to England’s travel ban list –
    Travel to/from this cunting place should have been banned decades ago

    Evidence suggests Ethiopian military carried out massacre in Tigray –
    Oh dear, what a shame, don’t care

    Loot boxes linked to problem gambling in new research –
    WTF is a loot box? Oh wait – I don’t care

    Covid: Tennis bodies urge hesitant players to get vaccine –
    Tennis? Fuck off. It stopped being good when McEnroe retired

    Derek Chauvin trial: Paramedics say Floyd had no pulse when they arrived –
    Don’t care

    US jobs creation surges in March as recovery gains steam –
    Recovery was going fine when Tango was running the show. Handing out stimulus cheques like it’s free candy followed by massive tax hikes to get it all back again seems like a fucking waste of my time and yours Biden, you cunt. Just die already.

    Niger’s Mohamed Bazoum sworn in as president after failed coup –
    Don’t care

    Sachin Tendulkar: India cricket legend in hospital with Covid-19 –
    Good. Cricket is shit and foreigners make it even shittier

    So there you have it. My reaction to the BBC’s ‘top’ stories. Any questions?
    Cheers – IY.

    • I wouldn’t even have bothered looking all this stuff up. News id anathema to me nowadays.

  28. I’m also sorry I caught 2 minutes of Biden telling everyone that he’s going to spend an eye watering two trillion dollars over 8 years to grow the USA economy. Is it just me, or do we all suspect that this will be two trillion dollars wasted?

    And since writing this nom, it seems clear as day there is a list of beats that just move up and down the number 1 spot like the music charts! Basically the beats are the same, with a slight variation and some flourishes here and there.

    -You are racist (with the more recent addition of even if you don’t think so!)
    -Britain is racist (so the flag is bad, the police is bad, the Queen is bad)
    -You are against trans people, say anything and cancelled
    -You must have the jab you selfish bastard
    -You will be tracked and traced one way or another
    -Greta Thunberg is great and we are facing extinction, here is a statue of Greta
    -Most of Britain’s children live in abject poverty
    -You will not criticise BLM or Meghan Markle or face being cancelled
    -Those poor, poor people coming by little dinghies to claim asylum. They risk their lives!!!
    -If you say anything about anything, cancelled
    – Twitter did this, Twitter did that, usually stuff about all of the above

    We’re about to have people arriving illegally by dinghies whilst people exit illegally by whatever means, to log cabins in, well, wherever you can fuck off to , which isn’t a lot.

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