Bitchell – the balding ginger/grey haired Royal arse licker (or arse liker if you prefer) is currently pumping out tsunamis of repressed watery spunk as it does the work it lives for, a good old Right Royal snuff fest.
Head slightly bowed and ferrety eyes flicking to camera and back, the old line between grovelling, grief and gravitas is imperfectly preserved. The little cunt loves every minute knowing that it has closed out most of the other Royal commentators and is going to be hogging the airways for weeks if not months to come.
We present this nom in the expectation that as the money has it, the backroom bitchery at the Poofs Palace will result in a swift knife in the back for its least loved member (already have it in The Pool so tough titties).
What more to come from Witchell’s World? The Lying In, the Funeral, the Service of Commemoration and on and on. Then the breaking of the shock horror stories – the allegations of the Dook’s “other life” – the extra-marital affairs, the sailor boys (the Dook was an enthusiastic “sailor” by all accounts) etc etc. If one has a certain status in life one does hear things – or allegations rather.
To quote the future King (that’s Charlie boy me cuntos) off camera on Bitchell
“Ghastly Man”.
https://pbs.twimg.com/ext_tw_video_thumb/1362888205650038788/pu/img/N9ORH_gcYe9BjEKi.jpg
Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke
Not just a ghastly man by the look of him he’s a ghostly 👻 man. Cunt to be sure.
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‘Royal correspondent’ is a synonym for ‘cunt who needs to get a proper job.’
Currently writing a mega-rant re: European Super League but here’s another…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2021/04/19/the-guardian-theme-song-update/#more-13764
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That flowchart is spot on!
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In connection with this name I always think of the time Prince Charles caught on mic talking about him-‘I can’t bear that man anyway. He’s so awful, he really is.’
The BBC in their wisdom have kept him on as Chief Royal Correspondent. But it must be embarrassing for both if they have to meet. He should have been given another job.
6
Should have read the Nom through.
‘ghastly man’
But a slight difference I copied mine from the Guardian
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Miles: I remember watching that particular “Faux-par” of Charlie Boys. I also remember the way a Young William was snorting in agreement and thinking, the apple doesn’t fall very far…..
Fuck then all-I agree with Charles-we need a great reset: abolish the outdated monarchy.
4
Having been firmly planted, headfirst, up Diana’s arsehole in the 90s, the BBC thought it was a good idea to get the soles of Whitchell’s feet tattooed just in case they lost him.
“Lick, lick, slurp, slurp and here comes Her Majesty looking radiant as ever…”. Up until that fateful day in 1997, Whitchell probably thought he was in for a knighthood like Sir Alistair Burnett before him.
Great nom, Sir limply. Whitchell is a giant, salt and pepper coloured cunt.
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The simpering ginger weasel should be put in The Tower for 100 years.
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Hes two things I hate.
A arselicker and someone with pink eyes, like a polecat or ferret.
Doesnt look well in the nom picture!
Must be on the Nicki Graeme diet?
6
If they ever make a film of Dame Elton’s life,Witchell could play the gerbil that pokes it’s head out of his arse as he takes a bow after performing that dreadful “England’s Rose”.
(That header pic we uploaded reminded us of a failed medical experiment between Gollum from LOTR, and one of those meerkat cunts from CompareTheBollocks TV ad – DA)
13
I bet he was the kind who pretended to be ill to get out of rugby at school…we’d have bullied the weedy,swotty-looking little Shit remorselessly.
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He might surprise you Dick?!
He might be on of those pink eyed ginger skinny hardmen?
Like Dennis Waterman!
Or Mick Hucknall.
Ferrets are aggressive little fuckers, he might sink his teeth in and latch on?!
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Oh aye, Dickie. He’s a proper head down the bog split the kipper job,
3
By the looks of him he should make sure his life insurance is up to date. The cunt looks like death warmed up.
3
Disrespectful little cunt.
4
You don’t have to be anti royal to dislike this cunt. He’s another BBC employee stealing a fucking living. Mrs Infidel switches over if he comes on, protecting the screen apparently.
As for ‘enthusiastic sailor’ my time in the RN dates back to the sixties and there were lots of rumours about various celebs. Mountbatten being one allegedly.
Too many to list.
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I have a mate who lives in Chesterfield and served with 20th Indian Division in WW2. He had 2 great stories
A) He went with his CO to visit an American Supply Squadron who had dropped vital supplies to the Div when it was surrounded. Jackie ‘Kid’ Coogan was one of the pilots and shook his hand saying this hand has been up up Betty Grable’s chuftah and you are only one hand away from it.
B) Lady Mountbatten took her kit off and danced naked on the wardroom table as he sailed from India to invade Malaya. Ted always said Mountbatten was well known for being light on his loafers.
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“We” Sir Limply? As in the “Royal”we?😳
Horrible little cunt, this one.
Funnily enough, we had this skinny, wheezy, inhaler sucking, ginger weasel, turn up at our school in the second year. His folks moved back from Sarf-Arfreeeka.
Excused from sport and very, very, effeminate 😉
The strangest thing? He was called Nicholas, too😳
Chutney ferret, no doubt.
Oven please, Unkle T👍
5
Missed this one but can I add:
Oily, slimy, creepy little arselicking weasel.
2
Really starting to get on my tits with the headlines in the Papers “We’re all with you Ma’am”. “Your not alone Ma’am”. Fuck off you sanctimonious bastards. I really couldn’t give two shits about the Royal Family. The most dysfunctional family on TV since The Munsters.
5
Chris Ship is another one. Over-earnest, po faced wanker with his tongue so far up royal Anus, he can lick their lungs. Anyone who dedicates their life to being an obsequious bastard chronicling the royal family’s every moment is a turbo powered cunt. ‘The queen took a trip to the lavatory this morning and what a delightful excremetal despatch it was, ma’am’. FFS!!
3
One of my earliest TV memories is of this weasely cunt prattling on about “Charles and Diana” with all the magnitude of the Second Coming. I fucking hated hearing about that ditzy cunt and the chinless dauphin but then they split up and the coverage got worse then “Lady Di” died in a horrible Masonic murder, err… accident in gay Paree. Tony B. Liar came on TV and called her the, “People’s Princess™”. And then a tsunami of shrieking grief enveloped the cuntry for months and months and months.
This “love for the Royals” is one of the fakest things in Britain. Has been for over a hundred years. When the eternally mourning fat dwarf Queen Victoria died, the people of Britain breathed a sigh of relief and a 40-year veil of morbid, sexually-repressed gloom was lifted from our island and folk enjoyed themselves until they were jingoistically cajoled into dying in the mud in 1914 for no good reason, err… “King and Country” and a century of deceit, fear, death, dumbing-down and degeneracy.
Honestly, Brexit was not enough, we need Rexit – no more Kings, Queens, Princes, Viscounts, Barons, Freemasons, Wizards. A nice Platonic Republic with cunts held to account, deep ecology, no more financial fuckery, no more degeneracy, no more deceit.
Not much to ask!
5
Ironic that the Victorian era was sexually repressed. Yet Queen Victoria herself was a sex maniac. But after Prince Albert snuffed it nobody else would do it with the fat old fiend.
2
Surely Spike Milligoon in a kilt had a pop or was that John Brown?
0
She became chummy with a Muslim later in life.
0
Witchell is like a jar of that orange coloured slime/silly putty that they used to sell in joke shops.
1
Why don’t they choose someone “nice” to be a Royal Correspondant, like Kirsty Allsop, Stephanie Flanders or Christina Trevanion from Antiques Road Trip?
Big Ears would think they’re ghastly, Randy would try to cop off with them and Thicko wouldn’t understand what they’re saying.
2