Impatient Pub-goers

I want to nominate cunts who can’t wait to get to the pub on April 12th.

Heard an item on the radio today (12th) saying that people were queueing to get in a pub at midnight.

If you’re that desperate, buy a six pack and get pissed at home.

Brainless cunts.

Nominated by: mystic maven

53 thoughts on “Impatient Pub-goers

  1. I heard the same thing and thought it was an April fool. It wasn’t. Ffs just get a carryout. You’ve been doing it for the past year. Daft fucks.

  2. Pubs are boring. Often stuffed full of loud mouth yobs swearing and boozing. They stink of alcohol. But then I’m not much of a drinker. Pub gardens can be quite pleasant though – I like a Ploughman’s Lunch in the garden of a country pub.

    But when it comes to the saloon bar of some dismal suburban pub – well, really I’d rather be stuck in a very small lift for 18 hours with Flabott, Lamy and those Meercunt pests from the tv ads.

    • Never been a fan either. There’s always the regular hopeless dregs and that one dude who’s basically a walking distillery, every pore sweating out alcohol. Fucking depressing.

      The trendy bars and club-bars are even worse. Full of young meat floundering around like a farm auction, synched to shitty music, and some tattoo steroid monkey guarding the door to the precious establishment. Daft shit.

  3. Pubs died with the smoking ban. I used to smoke but stopped, but even I wouldn’t ban smoking in pubs. Or at least, have such a thing as ‘smoking pubs’ where you pay a bit more to help attract staff prepared to take the health risks of working there (maybe smokers themselves?)

    Fucking killed the pubs though did the smoking ban. I remember being forced outside in gale force winds and rain and thinking “just buy the booze from the shop, invite mates and you can smoke without getting soaked and frozen” And we did.

    Pubs are no longer what they were. Kids everywhere, Emmerdale on the big screen, more interested in food and overcharging on ‘craft beers’ for the gullible. £7 pint you say? Done of them don’t let you get pissed anymore too! Fuck off. And shut those fucking kids up!

    • Indeed. I’m not much of a fan of booze, so before at least I could become an industrial smokestack for the evening and not just sit there like a lemon.

  4. Left my regular pub going days behind me back in the 1980s. Last time I was forced to go to a pub (5 years ago?) a small round of drinks cost an arm and a leg. Fuck them.

  5. We had to take a neibours dog for a walk last night, recent knee replacement. Drove to Dawlish Warren, having walk saw pub, why not? £6.30 for a half of coke and a pint of lemonade and lime. Fucking overpriced shite.

  6. I consider it a nice treat from time to time.
    Fuck queueing and being bossed about by some random cunt however.
    I’ll leave all that to the yoof.

    Oh dear,I could murder a good pint and a coffin nail.

  7. The only good thing about pubs in modern times, is the opportunity to get your leg over with one of the local town bikes after she’s had a few.

    A round of drinks costs a fucking bomb nowadays though, and there’s always some cunt trying to get out of their turn which causes rows. Can’t be arsed with it.

  8. I think the smoking ban wasn’t on it’s own to blame. I was in a proper spit and sawdust local and only about 1 in 10 people smoked. Many were grateful when it was banned as the non smokers no longer went home smelling like they’d be stuck in a chimney all night.
    Many reasons why pubs started to change. Being open all day, meant people didn’t have to be there at certain times, so the atmosphere was diluted. Then the growth of ‘bars’ in the 90’s. Certainly my home town had an explosion of these in the 90’s. Young girls went to drink in bars, the young men followed.
    Gyms, people being more conscious of health, increased mortgage/rent payments and beer in pubs becoming that more expensive all have contributed to pub trade dwindling.
    I can’t understand why everyone felt they had to be in a pub on Monday when they re-opened. There is one opposite my house, a out of town local. Beer garden full on Monday, half full Tuesday. I went in on Thursday, only another 3-4 people there. I guess much of it is down to people wanting to post photos on social media ‘look I’m having a pint in a pub’, much like having the latest iPhone on the day it comes out.
    Do enjoy a good pub. But these days I can drink a good quality beer at home in my armchair. Paying £6 or so for a 12% stout that I’ll enjoy and not be able to get anything near that quality in a boozer.

  9. Pubs definitely are not what they were.
    There are, or soon to be more likely, were, a handful of proper boozers left in town.
    The types of pubs that don’t do food apart from crisps or peanuts, don’t have fucking pretentious wannabe middle class cunts and their brats in, have a dartboard or a pool table and horse racing on the telly.
    Not the most desirable of places to some but an absolute haven for some older single blokes who, apart from maybe work, have fuck all else to do or have any other people to socialise with.
    This demographic have been completely shafted and abandoned when it comes to the ransacking of pub culture in this country.
    Saying that, they are generally heterosexual white males after all, so why the fuck would anyone care about those racist misogynists wanting a quiet pint.
    The smoking ban done most of the damage but the recurring theme of lockdowns and closures has fucked them completely.
    Sadly, the only way a pub can possibly survive going forward is to become a cunt pub like the type described in some of the comments.

  10. I’d rather drink at home. Cheaper and less distance between my chair and my bed.

    • I’ll drink to that! It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 30 minute walk from the pub to my house.

      The difference is staggering

  11. Pubs started going down hill in 80s. Used have a few beers play darts dominoes and cards. When the previous generation started dying off pubs filled with piss heads. Off licences virtually giving the stuff away. In my old home town there was 41 pubs, bet it’s only half that now. Bar staff are brain dead cunts who know fuck all about ale……

    • Bar staff are thick, Harry. About two years ago, I asked for a Gin and It for Mrs Norman. Now every cunt knows that this is a gin with vermouth (It meaning Italian) and the old lady has been drinking them for years. But the bar buffoon just looked blank and said ‘What’s that?’ It was on a par with Basil Fawlty not knowing what a Screwdriver was.

      • I had exact same experience asking for a pink gin in Cardiff. Having to point out the bottle of Angostura on the back shelf. More or less made it myself. I shall go to Burger King, then nip round to the pub for a bottle of Chilean red. At least I assume they can open a screw cap bottle…

      • That pub pictured is in Manchester city centre, the old Wellington.
        It used to be in Shambles Square but the IRA blew the shit out of it.
        They moved it, each brick numbered its a listed building see?
        I did security on it and its meant to be haunted, all night alone hoping to see a ghostie.. nowt.

        Anyway; just got back from the pub.
        The cradle of civilization and culture.
        Anyone says different is a communist.

  12. My retirement dream was a proper little rural boozer-a “local pub for local cunts”. Not to cater to “gastrocunts”, Hyacinth Bucket types or chav families.

    The last pub I was in and felt comfortable, was a great old Inn, in the centre of Much Wenlock, in Shropshire.
    Roaring fire, friendly bar staff, good range of ales and friendly locals-it was like going back in time 25 years😢

  13. When I first started boozing the only you could buy to eat, apart from crisps and peanuts, were arrowroot biscuits, pickled eggs and pork pies. Now people just come in to stuff their pieholes no booze at all. There is no atmosphere any more. I drink at home now and save quite a bit of money.

  14. The number of pubs has diminished and the nature of them has changed radically.

    In the 70s there seemed to be a pub on every corner and you could get a pie and a pint for a couple of quid and a game of darts.

    Now they are mostly gastro-pubs for eating out expensively. Restaurants really.

    I agree though that a ploughmans lunch in the garden of a country pub on a warm day remains one of life’s pleasures.

    But it is a rare treat rather than routine.

    The rot stated in the 80s with yuppie wine bars and big breweries demanding higher returns.

    The pie and pint man was left out in the cold in favour of family fayre.

  15. The screens nothing but sports on, 2 people watching the rest don’t give a fuck about some second rate la Liiga or bundescunt cup match. I can understand a big event on or decent horse racing but just turn the fucking screens off for awhile when there’s only shit on and it may begin to resemble a pub atmosphere. I used love my Saturday afternoons horse racing in my local with the bookies next door but cunts now come in and expect to see a rugby match because Sky whores sports take all the good time slots for their supercunt coverage so I get my horse racing about once a month if lucky .

  16. Kids in pubs should be hanged. They are almost certainly going to grow up to be cunts so why fuck about?

  17. It was cunt central in the pub on Friday night. Pissed up chavs who couldn’t stand up, hugging and shaking hands (stupid pricks), birds with make up which had been put on with a trowel. And it was fucking freezing. What a load of wank that was.

  18. Pubs now are shit. Usually crappy theme pubs. Filled with stupid wimmin and their uncontrollable brats running riot. Or loudmouthed ‘yoof’ scum ‘gettin ‘ammered’ on sambucca, WKDs or some other brain rotting shite and causing trouble. They are also now hives for drug dealers and spiceheads. Not to mention gyppo travelling cunts. All the pubs I loved: The Clive, The Lizzie, The Albert, The Dragon, The Dog & Partridge are all gone. And the legendary Gardener’s Arms in Moston is also sadly defunct. What’s left is now crap and full of knobheads.

    Bury town centre – near Manchester – had its pubs open yesterday. Pavements full of tables with cunts getting pissed everywhere and blocking all other activity. It was like a tidal wave of chavs. The smell of shit lager and cunts shouting all over the place. Only a matter of time before some binge drinkers kick off and those tables start flying. Do they really think this is going to go well and the riff raff are going to behave themselves?

  19. I left my home town a long time ago but used to visit quite regularly and enjoy a Saturday night in town. Great pubs, good beers.
    Then around the early 80s things started to change. Bouncers on doors, formerly good pubs now full of cunts. Trouble brewing wherever you went. Fuck that.

    I will go to a pub occasionally when you can go inside. My favourite has no TV, great ales at reasonable prices (I am a real ale twat) and a giant haddock, chips and Scunny guacamole for under a tenner. Hope it survives.
    See no point in freezing my bollocks off at the moment.

      • Yes. We are blessed with decent prices for everything. We havent even got a (I saw you coming) Waitrose.

  20. I recall a local landlord trying to drum up business about 15-20 years back by offering free pool and free jukebox to the patrons.

    The pool room (a large snug with two pool tables) was taken over by a bunch of young peacefuls and ‘rappers’ who’d never been before. The rappers immediately filled the jukebox with grime and rap bollocks. Hundreds of tracks…fuck everybody else.

    Both mobs bought a coke each and made it last for about 2 hours. By then, the locals (self included) were getting pissed, but before we could complain or come up with a plan, the landlord (who was a lovely bloke but fucking nuts if you got on his wrong side) walked into the snug, unplugged the jukebox, switched off the lights and said “Out! Yer barred you piss taking cunts!”

    They all left, probably due to the landlord’s look on his face. We were all also staring them down at that point, but one started claiming the landlord was being racist. His response was “Racist? I’ll show you fucking racist you cheeky cunt!” and he grabbed the scrawny cunt by the back of his neck and frogmarched the cunt outside, to the cheers of the entire pub.

    He retired not long after (to live in France in a big rural home) and the pub went to shit, sadly.

    He’d probably have got 20 years nowadays for how he handled the situation though.

    • I got banned from the Roebuck, in Kendal – found shagging one of the barmaids in the staff toilet 👍

      I didn’t really mind-I was underage anyway 😂

      • My wife from Kendal. Got married there. Never had a chance of a leg over in the Roebuck though. Even with the wife.

      • Used to be 40 pubs in Kendal-nearly all gone now😢

        Ask your Mrs if she remembers “Alleycats” or “White Hart”.

        Used to frequent “The Bowmen”, “Nags Head”, “Dunn Horse” and occasionally the notorious “Kent Tavern😳”.

  21. When the pubs opened it was freezing cold; did not see the appeal at all.

    Anyway, as Dan Wootton pointed out, you can go to a pub and be surrounded but the Queen had to sit on her own at her own husband’s funeral. Fgs.

    Btw they can shove their domestic vaccine certificate.

  22. Queenie should have had the funeral at the boozer – the mask and sat alone charade was sick theatre, and all part of the propaganda.

    • Absolutely.

      Coming to a screen near you soon:

      Prince Jug-ears-“you will own nothing and be happier.”


  23. I was driving up Ladbroke Grove in the Audi yesterday and saw a load of sad cunts aaaahtside the boozer in the sun all getting pissed and looked as happy as pigs in shit. Sad fucking cunts who seem to think drinking and getting pissed is a great way to live and the first chance they get they are all there drinking and smoking…what they don’t realise is that it’s a temporary escape from their mundane, miserable lives and when the novelty has worn off and the Covid bollocks possibly passes they’ll still be miserable. The fat beer belly sad cunts.

  24. The Lord Clive, The Elizabethan, the Albert Inn, The Dragon, The Red King, The Junction, The Grapes. All within walking distance. Now none of them are left.

    Now there’s just restaurants with bars, with crappy names like the Orangery and the Fairfax. Full of stupid fucking wimmin and their kids and chav shite.

    • It’s the same everywhere. Wetherspoons have fucked the small independent boozers👎

    • I stick to a few Joey Holt’s in Prestwich Norm.
      Foresters mainly and described online as the ‘smell of old man’s pants’.
      White horse and occasionally Red Lion.
      Not the Church he’s a cunt.

  25. Fuck the pubs.

    I ditto what others have already said,- they are nothing short of a rip-off.

    And I’m not paying all that money to stand outside when I want a fag or cigar.

    The Non-Smokers are welcome to the pubs and clubs. They evidently use the back-street boozers that often, as they have all but closed down!

    Should have been sensible, and restricted the smoking ban to eating areas only. I appreciate it cannot be nice when folks are eating and get engulfed with fag smoke.

  26. Saw a big queue of the cunts waiting to get into the beer garden belonging to the Wetherspoons in Plymouth city centre.
    How desperate can you fucking get?!
    Ale’s crap !

  27. Been to six pubs this week. Use them or loose them. Over 30% have closed where I work because of the Muslim influx and so I’m proud of keeping this Great British Institution from going under.
    Over 60% can’t open because they don’t have enough outside space to appease that cunt Boris.
    Fuck sake, you are more at risk from coming in a supermarket!
    Who’s round is it?

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