Brits Abroad

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I would like to nominate ‘The British’ and their fucking foreign holidays for a long over due cunting.

First things first…. Covid came to the U.K. by some Doctor cunt who had been skiing in the Alps. Why the fuck people who live in a cold, damp climate would pay to go skiing and get cold and damp is completely beyond me. Pretentious Toynbee-esque cunts of epic proportions. The crowd bemoaning the lack of a ‘break for the mountains’ can go and suck a bag of pretentious dicks.

The second is the ‘summer hollibobs’ cunts. You have just sat on your fat lazy arses for the last 13 months and you expect us to believe you ‘need’ a break in the sun? I travel extensively for work and this last year has been a joy to travel with out hoards of these mouth breathing knuckle draggers and their cunt kids clogging up air ports.

The IQ of the average British holiday maker rapidly diminishes the closer they get to an airport, Which is why check in and departures always look like a scene from the walking dead.

99% of these cunts do fuck all at work so the notion they need a holiday is fucking laughable. Do us all a favour, stay at home. Doing nothing and going nowhere is under rated. It’s you holiday cunts that brought Covid you selfish fuckers. fuck you and your holidays, stay the fuck in the U.K. until this shit is over, pricks.

Of course, I realise that as ‘a Traveller’ it sounds hypocritical cunting people for moving about the world, I work in cargo shipping and have done for almost 28 years, and as has been beautifully demonstrated by Ever Given, this is what happens when you have third world monkeys running large, and vital cargo ships. It’s my job to keep these cunts in check and the work list has been doubling in the last 10 years thanks to these Mickey Mouse cunts.

Nominated by: The Captain

104 thoughts on “Brits Abroad”

  1. I`ve just been somewhere lovely & hot & sunny. But, beware! Do NOT wear sunglasses & lip balm whilst sunbathing – look what happened to me.

    • Excuse me, didn’t you have a different name recently?
      Do we have a troll?
      Leave it under the bridge. We’ll destroy it, and not with three goats.

  2. Just got to agree. What kind of lunatic would even contemplate going abroad for a holiday any time soon?
    Totally beyond me. I’m not going abroad anywhere until I can travel without restrictions of any kind, however long it may take.

    • Someone told me they were making everyone over six wear a mask on beaches in Spain, who the fuck wants to be sweating like a glassblowers arse on a beach wearing a face nappy?

      No, I will be taking my annual two weeks in the caravan in Dick Fiddlers top field.

      • Very true.
        Anyone over 6 has to wear a mask anywhere here and that includes on beaches.
        However, unlike what is typical in the UK, ‘wardens’ have not been employed to hand out fines.
        The police, National and Local, along with the Guardia Civil are mostly becoming frustrated with the regulations now and rarely take much notice of people unless they are being blatant.

      • The greatest ever episode of ‘Beadle’s About’ would’ve had 200 pikies moving onto DF’s land, with horses, caravans, dogs the lot.

        It would’ve been the final ever episode I reckon.

  4. 50 weeks on the rocks for 2 on the sand.

    I can’t wait to travel. Family abroad and all that. I retired 17 years ago and travel as much as I can.
    When it’s not family it’s sat in a Greek taverna. Bring it on sooner the better.

  5. One of the best things about going abroad is getting away from whining British cunts.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  6. Brits abroad are cunts. I need a fucking holiday though. I’ve cancelled four in the last twelve months. Guess I’m a Cunt. So what! fuck it; the Canaries here I come.

    • Why don’t you consider a cruise. They are brilliant. Flunkies leaping half way across the room to take your drink order. There’s always several smoking areas, the foods outstanding, and if you do an all inclusive package, which is about £100, you can drink yourself stupid.
      Amazeballs!

  7. Well I wouldn’t recommend any U.K. seaside resorts at the moment as the beaches will be awash with abandoned dinghies this summer.
    Not to mention mixing with virus carrying filthy freeloaders looking to dip your pockets.
    On the other hand, why go abroad when abroad is coming to you?

  9. There’s nothing more elevating than seeing a crew of fat drunken oafish English chavy cunts with their bloated beer bellies exposed on the streets on Barcelona at 5pm moaning about the restaurants being closed (for siesta, you dummies) just begging to get arrested for the third year in a row.

    “ENG-GER-LAND!!! ENG-GER-LAND!!! ENG-GER-LAND!!!”

    Next time, take their passports then deport the cunts to the Falklands, that’s British soil.

  10. Interesting about the Alps connection-the cunt who I caught it off had returned from his villa in the alps ☹️
    Only telling this after talking “in my face” for 10 minutes.
    When I recieved a text from his wife two weeks later, saying he had been bad with covid, whilst I was bedridden with the fucker-you can guess my feelings…..

    Re: going abroad-will they be quarantined on return for safety? Is that even logistically possible?

    It’s Fiddler towers for me too-I shall bribe his Lordship with Fray Bentos, Guinness and a couple of classy lay-dees👍

  11. The only thing worse than Brits at home is Brits abroad. At least on home soil, their complete disregard for tidiness, conduct and hygiene isnt known to the wider world. Watching these pot bellied, thunder thighed kebab munching bastards going around littering and spitting and making a general cunt of themselves on foreign shores makes me hang my head in fucking shame.

  12. I dunno. Getting away from the riff raff on a private tropical beach is nice. Now’s ok with me if you’ve had the vaccine. We need to get back to normal, and for me, we’re getting close to that point now with about half the country vaccinated. No reason to for all these restrictions once everyone who wants one gets one (a vaccination). I’d even allow those not vaccinated to travel at that point too (once the world is vaccinated), but I can’t see many countries allowing any cunt in without proof of vaccination, I’m afraid.

    But yes, the dregs who descend upon Magaluf et al are an embarrassment. Slappers and halfwits.

  13. Foreign climes?
    Only to be tolerated when squinting down the sights of a Lee Enfield or sinking a Spanish galleon!
    Shifty fkin foreigners..

  14. i’ve seen Russians on holiday and they make Brits look like the most well behaved people in the world.
    Russians are the most fucking aggressive cunts i’ve ever met.
    They have a massive chip on there shoulders.

    • Great point that. Absolute nut cases in my experience. If you think the Brits put the booze away, these Ivan cunts take it to a whole new level. And they love a good scrap and will go looking for them.

      You can spot them easily though. They wear vests and gold chains. Tracky or jogging bottoms. Even on a beach. Walk around with clenched fists and mean looks on their mental faces. Talk very loudly in Russian. Have a skinny but attractive Dooshka sidepiece in a skimpy bikini in tow. Usually on the phone arguing. The bikini she wears every minute of every day, which puts me off her eventually, as the gussett area must be a bit cheesy/fishy after a week.

      How do I know they’re Russian? Easy. It’s a linguistical fact that Russian, is in fact, just English spoken backwards.

      Don’t believe me? Play any record with lyrics backwards and what do you hear.

      Russian. The defence rests, your honour.

      Fuck off.

    • When I was in North Korea a couple of years ago, our guides told me that the Kitchen Sinks are the worst tourists.

  15. Apologies for going off-subject,

    I had my injection yesterday and now feel fucking awful. I was struggling at work but by now I’m fucking freezing cold,splitting headache,feel “wooly” and can’t face eating anything.

    Never fucking again…fucking Eggheads have poisoned me.

    • My bother felt exactly the same for about 48 hrs, DF. He took a day off work, which he never does to be fair to the cunt. He’s one of the gays you know? Could be something in that…

      Joking aside, get well soon fella. You’ll be fine I’m sure.

    • Speaking of apologies, John Cleese has apologised for making fun of white people throughout his career. 😂

      Re your reaction Dick, apparently it means your immune system is in robust order.

    • Sorry to hear that your Lordship.

      Where were you vaccinated? Locally in the end?

      • Yes, they rang me on Sunday and I went on Thursday to a mobile unit a few miles away.

      • I am pleased they supported our rural communities.
        Upon reading of your earlier predicament of finding a local vaccination, on here, then clicking on the news feeds and seeing they were rolling out house visits for the “peaceful’s”-well, to quote IsAC’s own Spoonington:

        “It had my water boiling like a kettle!”

    • You don’t think they might have infected you with the gayness do you Sir Fiddler?
      Those fiends!

      Do you have a sudden hankering for some French Fancies?

      Ever been thirsty no matter how much you drank and only Babycham seems to quench it?

      Do you have an urge to listen to Erasure’s greatest hits?
      https://youtu.be/S1a8QABKNo0?t=31

      Only joking

      • Don’t upset him Harold-he might ban us from the IsAC jolly boys outing.😗

      • It’s “all done in the best possible taste” CG.

        Time to crack open my Swedish IPA.
        Skål

    • I felt like shit when I had mine, Dickie. It went after a few days though. Hope it wears off soon for you.

    • Evening, Dick. I felt shite after the jab. Headaches, gut ache, the shits, feeling knackered etc. But feel right as rain now.
      Two of my nieces were quite poorly after the jab, they’d both had covid a couple of months before, so whether that had any bearing on it I don’t know. Anyway, they both had the second jab and were ok. They’re both nurses, so maybe they felt obliged.
      If a couple of girlies can get the second one, then it’s a piece of piss for the indomitable Dick Foxchaser – Fiddler.
      Our Dickie beaten by a couple of twenty something bints ?
      I refuse to countenance it.
      Such a scenario does not exist in my world.
      Walk like a man !https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFiqO0Qpa_g
      Keep taking the paracetamol.
      Good show.

    • If you don’t feel better soon Mr Fiddler let me know, I’ll swap you for one of my regulars in Deadpool.

  16. King George V said ‘Abroad is bloody’ and his last words were ‘Bugger Bognor
    Something tells me that we have many of his numerous sprogs’ descendants amongst us.

  17. I think it would be sensible to fuck going abroad right off. It’s too unstable at the minute. Good COVID news one minute and then bad the next.

  18. Those cunts won Agincourt. Much fatter the cunts cant be bothered to defend Dover. Wait till inflation kicks in.

  19. I want to watch the foreign cunts suffer for a while yet before I consider spending money on a fancy holiday.

    I also prefer places that have the least number of British as possible as I find them either wet woke faggits or pigshit thick chavs.
    So,in summation,Get To Fuck.

    • I nearly died of homesickness once.
      People dismiss homesickness but its worse than covid.
      Sat cooking in Crete wishing itd rain.
      Dusty infertile soil, oily people,
      Shite ale, the cheese was fetid.
      Id rather do a year in Strangeways than a Thomas Cook holiday.

      • Home sickness, that is a good one.
        A disease of ex pats, thinking of the good old bad old days.
        phone booths that double as urinals, chip packets blowing up the road.
        reality and fantasy blurring.

  20. My life is one big long holiday so I have absolutely no need to go abroad. Add to that the fact that if I wanted to rub shoulders with people that look funny, talk funny, smell funny I would travel into London or somewhere probably even more ghastly up north!

    Fuck off!

  22. It’s easy to distract the hoi polloi with rubbish like holidays abroad and it means these cattle don’t stop to question what’s going on around them.

    So may big questions to answer like lies, corruption and criminal incompetence but all people want to know is when can they go eat chips in Spain.

    Fuck off there and die for all I care.

    • Did you not see an earlier post about distraction, got you looking over there while they steal your watch, peace of mind, pension date now 99, didn’t see that coming did ya?

      So busy looking at Greta gotaface & people claiming cheese is recists.

      Fuck me, you are cunts.

    • “Fuck off abroad and die you cunt”. If that were your campaign slogan you’d get my vote.

      I’ve always liked the mantra that it’s best to try and build a life at home you don’t feel the need to escape from, as opposed to staying on the annual holiday merrygoround to fucking nowhere ride.

      Cheap holidays have contributed to the brain rot of this country. My grandparents used to drive a caravan once a year from the arse end of Cornwall to Italy. That takes dedication and planning.. no fucking google maps back then. Half the cunts in this country couldn’t navigate out of their own town without gps!

      • Lol

        “Fuck off abroad and die you cunt” would be the greatest billboard advertisement of all-time.

  23. There are a few things that irritate me with the British abroad.
    The first is their habit of the men and boys not wearing shirts…… Anywhere.
    There are times when I have been at the airport and people are coming into the arrival hall shirtless.
    They have stripped off in the baggage reclaim area.
    They think that it’s perfectly acceptable to walk the streets, go into shops, drink in bars and even eat in restaurants bare chested.
    I don’t expect any holiday makers to learn the language, why should they? If I were to go for a break in Moscow I wouldn’t bother learning Russian.
    But the British have the habit of overestimating how well foreigners can speak English.
    A Spanish waiter may be capable of having a brief conversation with you and taking your order, but he will not know what a lager top or a snake bite is, no matter how loud you say it. Use easy, everyday words you thick cunts.
    In my experience the Scandinavians are the most obnoxious travellers.
    Booze and eating out in their own countries is very expensive so they fucking hammer the bars here and they get progressively ruder the more pissed they get.
    They have the attitude that if someone is offering a paid service to them then they own that person.
    Even though the bar owners earn a lot of money from the moose jockeys they will not put up with their staff being shouted at and they are generally not welcome.
    The French are, without doubt, the worst drivers in the world.

    • Greta Thunderbox should never have been allowed out of Sweden. Not even out of whichever asylum it inhabits, the bedwetter.

  24. Good points about the Russian’s being obnoxious bastards and the Swede’s being drunken cunts. I went on a ferry from Harwich to Gothenburg some years back and, on the way there, it was as if all the decks in the boat had been carpeted with drunken Scandinavians too pissed to stand up. As for the Russians, if you are ever unlucky enough to end up staying at the same place as them, I doubt you’ll enjoy your stay much (reasons as mentioned above plus watch out for them “gazumping you” on any upgrades – best not to complain if they do either!).

  25. Holly bobs.
    I have had a few, like most of you.
    Genuine nice as a kid hayling island as a kid with the sprite Caravan club.
    Fly drive america like a Garfield toy stuck to the window of a Cadillac.
    Later in life a fucking god awful trip to the canary islands.
    Many trips to Greece and going off the beaten track that I enjoyed.
    Bestce (in line with holly bobs) were the odd times of R and R where a shower, clean clothes and a sit down were enjoyed and the locals did not fuck you around because you had enough ordinance with you to make them obsolete.
    I was never rude, never demanding, paid on the nail and helped where I could.
    I would recommend Aberdeen villas in Greece should you bother to go Vasili is a great host.

  26. But have you seen the Spanish parking?
    Fuck me, they can get a car into a space that I’d have trouble lodging an egg carton in ( slight exaggeration ), but what’s really annoying is they do it in three moves.
    Why didn’t we get Spanish driving instructors when we were part of the EU?
    They kept the best for theirseves, the cunts.

    • Agreed.
      The Spanish are excellent at parking at parking and driving in general.
      Even the women.
      I think it is a combination of needing to park in very crowded cities and having to deal with foreign drivers from most of Europe.
      The British abroad think they they are the best and safest drivers in the world.
      They are not.
      I have spent over 20 years driving all over Spain with my work, the number of accidents that I have seen can be counted on one hand.
      By comparison, there are several miles of congestion on the M25 due to accidents every week.
      Some of that is due to the English police treating every accident as a crime scene and shutting the road for hours, whereby the Spanish police just have cars involved in collisions taken away as soon as possible. But also British drivers have a sense of complacency, where Spanish drivers are more alert due to the amount of foreigners on the roads.

  27. Have you ever been to Spain?
    Where I live, if a supermarket has 30 parking spaces, it will be full with 8 cars parked at very jaunty angles. Hopeless cunts at driving.

    • You live in Andalucía Sir Mali.
      How often have you been stuck in 50km of stationary traffic on the E15/AP7?
      It happens every week on the M25 in England.
      The cars that you see in the car parks in your local supermarkets may be Spanish registered, but who the fuck knows the nationality of the people who have left them there?
      I drive thousands of kilometers a month in Spain. If Google maps tells me that I will arrive at my destination at 12:47 (for instance), then I will arrive at 12:47.
      And I will not see any accidents on my way.

      • I live in Jaen province and the cars are 95% or more Spanish owned. None are equipped with mirrors or indicators and only have two gears. I just toodle around the same as the locals, can’t be doing with traffic jams and road rage any more

      • A truly beautiful province Jaén is.
        I can’t remember who said that it would improve road safety if instead of having seat belts there should be a spike on the steering wheel pointed straight at the drivers heart.
        The British motorists in Spain whinge about Spanish drivers not using indicators.
        Spanish drivers take no notice of whether another driver uses his indicators because they may be being used inappropriately.
        It’s all about expectations and complacency.
        It’s better to anticipate that every other road user is a complete cunt than to refer to rules of the highway code.

  28. I’m loving the closed borders. No Poms or cuntinentals moaning about how much better it’s back home, no CCP cunts drawing back on their nose then gobbing in the street and picking out the house they want after they invade and no “MAIDS” (Mediterranean, Arab and Indian Dracula stare). Is having blonde hair, a red beard, blue eyes and two eyebrows that peculiar? Guess what, it’ll happen to you as well when you get the vaccine.

  30. Why any cunt wants a cheap holiday in someone elses misery is totally beyond me.

    Ideally, we should organise some one way holidays for these mofos.

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