A Bunch of Rs

What is it with people that mispronounce their words by adding an ‘r’ in an inappropriate place?

There are regional differences with words like ‘bath’ and ‘grass’ but what really pisses me off are the people that try to appear posh or intelligent by shoving an ‘r’ in a word where it simply doesn’t belong.

Newsreaders are the worst offenders, telling us about events in Parkistarn or Irarn. It’s spelt and pronounced Pakistan and Iran you thick cunts. Don’t newsreaders have producers? Why are they allowed to speak in such a way to the nation?

I was watching the BBC news when the stupid Indian looking woman insisted on using the word ‘plarstic’ when talking about crap in the oceans.

On a daytime antiques programme one presenter was going on about ‘alibarster’ from ‘Darmarscus’. He happens to be the same cunt that puts an ‘r’ in the word ‘off’ to pronounce it as ‘orf’. The silly cunt.

That fat, greedy pig Rick Stein was on a programme where he was in India. He kept going on about how tasty his ‘Mardras’ curry was.

Perhaps the most widely misused ‘r’ is from the complete wankers that order a ‘larteh’ in their overpriced coffee shops.

They are too thick to know that latte is Italian for milk and in Italian, like many languages, words are pronounced exactly as they are written.

Go into a café in Italy and ask for a ‘larteh’ and you may, after some confusion, be served with a glass of milk. What you won’t get is a coffee with milk, a Caffè latte.

Fucking pretentious is what it is, and the people that speak like this are all bastards!

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

44 thoughts on “A Bunch of Rs

    • Dont fancy the mardarse curry orr the filthy eyetie milk.
      Nice rrefrreshing glass of grravy and some rroast potatoes forr me.
      Chiao.

  1. John Torrode…. “that’s a delicious Parsta dish”
    Speak English you antipodean twat!

  2. Lloyd Grossman was the worse offender. ‘Whooo werd lirve in a hooose lirk this”.

  3. I parrrticulaly like this post
    This bollocks being going on far too long , it used to the mostly on the BBC but seems to have infected everywhere, another language issue I’m sick and fucking tired with is the over use of the word “literally “
    It’s the buzz word of the moment and I hear people slipping it in virtually every sentence , sometimes more than once!! So than can (literally) Cunt off…….

    (I literally died when I read this! – DA)

    • Another cunt phrase is “basically”. What’s basic about it?

      • That’s been doing the rounds for years and like weeds in the garden regularly resurfaces, it’s hugely irritating but for me the absolute no go please fuck off out of my sight is “ at the end of the day “ I used to sit opposite one of the Sales girls in our office and she must of said that dozens of times every single fucking day, like a parrot but with a far more limited vocabulary!! Grrrrr I bet that cunt is still saying it 30 years later……

      • Ah but “it is what it is” arrrrggghhhhhhh
        I loathe this expression, always spouted buy some twat whos day will not be ruined nor paypacket docked by the decision he has just imposed on me, whose pay definitely will be cut and day definitely ruined.

    • Also “At this moment in time” (Now.)
      “One more time” (Again.)
      “Met up with” (Met.)
      Cunt-speak.

      • I’m fizzing!!

        Another cunty ones that irks me

        “ to tell you the truth “ I’m now dubious thinking maybe everything spoken previously was a lie

        Or being asked

        “ have you got the right time mate?”
        What sort of cunt knowingly goes around with the wrong time ?

  4. Kevin McCloud, Cambridge educated “Architect” talks about “Drawrings”. That should have been beaten out of him at pre-school. the massive CRUNT!

    • Jocks with Pommy accents, something very wrong there except the dear late Queen Empress Bess. The cunt should also spell his name McLeod.

      • I thought it was just Wee Krankie that pronounced “s’s” as
        ‘Z’s’ but many Scots seem to. As in ‘doze’ for ‘dose’.
        We have a million dozes of vaccine.
        Fuck off Krankie, the word is DOSE.

    • Every time I see Kevin McCloud it reminds me of Bricktop in Lock, Stock and two Smoking Barrels. “Pull your tongue out of my arsehole”. Such a patronising wanker. Watching cunts with mortgages the size of the national debt get the house of their dreams. “So how much was your original budget ? ”
      “Oh about £300k”
      “And what have you spent ?”
      “Well it’s about £900k now, we had to stop working to project manage this, and Mummy and Daddy have leant us their life savings, plus another €300k from the bank”.
      “Wow so you could never really afford to do this in the first place ? But what you’ve achieved is nothing short of Mmmmmmllllllllll . ” (Kevin’s face covered in bum treacle).
      CUNT

    • “That should have been beaten out of him at pre-school.”

      You make it sound as if it’s too late to do it now.

  5. I could live with all the rrrrrrrrrrrrr’s if uptalking or rising inflection would stop. And all those twats who can’t say ‘years’ but pronounce it yaws.
    Rita Chakrabuttie is the worst. Not Jane Hill, she can do no wrong

  6. At least old Rick doesn’t pronounce his Madras curry as Chenai curry.

    I was talking to an Indian mate the other day and I asked him how things were in Mumbai. He said only the BBC and surprisingly right-wing Indian politicians, call it Mumbai the correct pronunciation is Bombay.

  7. I used o love the lady enviromentalist who used to be on Wireless 4 who used to spak of the dangers of “plarstick bottle, and indeed, plarstic in general”. Can’t remember her name – posh bint though.

  8. So not like Hello sir my name is Peterrrrrr [ RRRRamesh really],are you having a nice day, i am phoning from the Uk [not Banglapur] i am vanting to sell you a phone contrrrrract mother fuckerrrr.

  9. There is a female peaceful or bud bud ding ding newsreader who does this all the time.

    Who the fuck hired that cunt? Oh, it was the BBC, silly me.

    🎵”Land of hophe and glory, mother of the fr🎵 Shut up!”

    • “Vee British” etc…

      Loved that show as a kid.
      Years later, met Windsor Davies a few times-he really was a “LUVLY BOYYY!”

  10. Sweaties are guiltiest of this, aren’t they. The porridge junkies turn words like ‘road’ into an impression of a dove. It’s as pompous and as pretentious as pronouncing the ‘h’ in wh words like white.

    Furthermore, Americans seem to pronounce the r at every opportunity. Words like Plumber are turned into “plumburhhhh” and water and butter mutate into “wa-uhh” and “bu-uhh.” Mirror is just one long, growling syllable.

  11. Whilst there are people inserting Rs that aren’t there, I noticed that Americans often can’t say squirrel or mirror; comes out as ‘squirl’ and ‘mirr’. Australians can’t say ferry either, comes out as fairy.

  12. The Swedes do this a lot when talking English – can’t blame them as it’s not their language.

    Hence the famous Swedish chemist shop joke.

    Swedish Customer – I would like to buy some deodorant.

    Swedish chemist – certainly sir. Ball or aerosol?

    Swedish customer – Neither. I want it for my armpits.

  13. Luvvie Lucy Worsley from Al Beeb is particularly bad when it comes to “pwonunciations” .

    “Woyal family” this and “Woyal family” that.
    “Wussian wevolution”
    “Fwench wevolution”

  14. I am surprised nobody has referenced father of that Blue haired “trogly-puff”, the “wandy wabbit”, Jonathon Woss.
    🤔

  15. People stick that annoying fucking phrase “I mean…” into every utterance as well.
    I mean, like Fuck right off!

  16. Agreed inserting an R where it doesn’t belong is bloody irritating.

    Then there is the other offence when (almost always) posh types roll (or “woll”) ther Rs. Cunts like Adonis who say “yuurp” when they mean “europe”. A lot of Tory MPs and lords do this as well. Why didn’t this impediment get corrected at their vastly expensive public schools? Or was it deliberately taught so that toffs could recognise each other easily?

    “Oh yes he said it is ‘spwedding” rapidly. He’s one of us.”

  17. Darrrrrrling you are right, bunch of cunts. Another one the really bugs me are cunts talking about Chernobyn, and say NUKE LEE ARE, instead of Nukleer. Cunts fucking cunts.

  18. It right gets my back up when non pink people can’t say that three letter word ASK, they have to say AXE.

  19. What happened to the comment referring to the presenter of Bargain Hunt who keeps saying “orf” instead of off ?
    This pretentious fuck who attended a minor public school for thickos likes to think that he can rub shoulders with the aristocracy, none of whom would dream of pronouncing it like that.
    Fuck off you pink corduroy-wearing bumpkin. Whatta Cunt. (geddit)

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