No Golf During Covid

(There’s a bet going on here at Admin Towers, on who will be the first dirty old disgusting degenerate on here to look up the skirt and/or down the cleavage of the young filly in the header pic, while totally ignoring the actual nom for about 10 minutes and 2 Kleenex later! – DA)

Not being able to play golf ??‍♀️ during lockdown is a fucking massive cunt.

Why the fuck can I go fishing ? too cold or shooting but not play golf boris you fat tousled haired fairy. ??? It is daft.

No reason to not open golf ??‍♀️ courses up to members. Not joe public. At let you play at your own club not at others with a regular playing partner. I sort of get travelling to other course could be conceived to increase the risk! But if courses were only open to members then this wouldn’t be possible.

Open the courses up you cunt. I’ve paid to play at my course and have already lost 2 months that I’d paid for.

Golf courses shut to members is a cunt.

Nominated by: Everyonesacunt

Quick Draw McGraw made the cut with this:

It depends on the type of shooting. I can’t go to my archery club, even though we’d be shooting outside and standing approximately 4 metres from each other. That’s double the government’s social distance. Meanwhile, the albino walrus has made sure that HE can go jogging with a friend. Every day now, I’m increasingly glad that I voted for an independent at the last election rather than Tory.

61 thoughts on “No Golf During Covid

  1. Golf……….

    If people want to go and play golf they should be allowed, fuck knows why anyone would want to but each to their own.

    • SV@ – It’s the only time a working class white Man can wave a stick about and not be arrested! 😃

      • Therapeutic enough to watch on television occasionally. I would probably be more inclined to watch it if it was played by the likes of the lady in the header picture. Not covered in revolting tattoos either, win win.

  2. They can golf up here in the frozen north. They’ve been doing it all through January.
    I did take a gander at the blond bit but seeing as I couldn’t see up her skirt properly I moved on to the nom.
    Boris is a fucking tool. None of what these fuckers do regarding this proxy virus makes sense. And I’m sure the cunt never contracted it last year. It was a con to get us to feel sorry for the sweaty fat cunt and comply. He was hospitalised with exhaustion because his bint knackered him. That’s why he’s trying to get fit so he can plunge her all night.
    Any bets on when he will be found dead in bed?

    • If you stand on a stepladder and line the centre image up with the sun, bend to right and tilt the screen back you can see up the skirt. So I’m told.

    • Yes they are indeed Sir C. But I’ve paid to use my cunt farm and am jolly pissed off that I can’t.

  3. I’m guessing that the Govt. and Eggheads are frightened that if they allow one bunch of sexually-dubious types (Golfers) to indulge themselves,The Gays will in turn demand that the Public toilets are reopened in order that they too can enjoy their “hobby”. The NHS could not cope at the moment with a tsunami of over-excited and rampant Homosexuals suffering from H.I.I…hamster inflicted injuries.

    Luckily Hunting is still allowed,with the added bonus of the Antis stuck at home shielding.

    • Yep, Dick is right. The Govt closure of golf courses is totally illogical but you can just imagine the fuss there would be from every other sport if it were the only one allowed to continue.
      The header picture reminds me of Natalie Gulbis who the legendary Peter Alliss once appraised most favourably. Some of those yank birdies are not only very proficient but very easy indeed in the eye.
      I’m also convinced Mr Unpopular Patrick Reed is a member of ISAC. Golfers amongst us – a niche underclass I know – will know just what I mean by this. I think the bloke is a legend and he won me £50 at the Masters a year or two ago.
      FORE…..!!!!! YOU CUNTs!!!!!

      • Golfing is the gayest spork in existence change my mind Sir Fiddler and cunters

        The player shoots his balls in a hole you don’t even get a fucking option of different holes only one hole is allowed per game you knock you’re balls into FFS smdh if that isn’t a homo type sport

  4. You cunts always fucking Boris off, still imagine if Sir Kneel Smarmer was running the circus…… or even better, Jezza!!

    • Agreed 100%.

      Some people just want to piss moan grizzle no matter who is in charge, like sorts of sulky anarchists. My mantra is the best revenge is living well and as luck would have it I’m in the perfect position to do so and Boris doesn’t seem to be spoiling that for me in any way shape or form. I very much doubt I would be able to say the same if effeminate kneeler Starmer minced in and ruled the roost.

      Long live Boris 💪

    • Doesn’t change the fact that Boris and co are still massive, gold plated, silver spooned fat cunts who should be toasted on the fires of Hell.

  5. Golf is great, and highly addictive – I have Ping woods, irons, wedges and lob wedge and an S Blade putter, all bought second hand apart from the putter, Taylormade Penta golf balls, Nike Dri-Fit gloves (it rips the shit out of your left hand without one and Nike are the tightest fit) and some very good Adidas soft spike shoes – saved myself well over a grand at the “Twat and Pringle centre”, sorry, “Pro shop” by buying used.
    I bought a book at a charity shop – the miserable old crone did not even discount the 50P asking price 😢 – “The Encyclopedia of golf techniques” by Chris Meadows and taught myself using it – I am now at the stage after 5 years where I come in around ten over par.
    I do not have memberships as I like to try as many courses as possible and it is the best 4 hours of enjoyment possible for 15 quid (and some of the members are pretend toffs and clearly sexual deviants – ask Sir Fiddler! 😃)
    Not at the moment though, annoying, nowhere open – but the gal in the nom pic has well defined leg muscles – the stronger your legs the better you do!

    • Golf courses are now free to trespass on and my dog prefers to curl one out on tendered grass or sand.
      Me too.

      • At one golfing event once, I relieved myself in a bunker full of nice soft sand. You really can’t beat it.

      • Paul@
        Although never played golf (no plus fours or pink tops)
        Ive had lots of fun on golf courses!
        Ive shagged a bird on one
        Gone sledging on one
        Had a bonfire bbq on one
        And always in them with the dog.
        Who needs a beach when theres a golf course!!

      • MNC@ – there is a 9 hole course I play where the owner walks his dog around – the hound likes to watch the golf and is excellent for snouting lost balls out – he is a friendly beast!

      • Foxy@
        One I walk the dog on has spectacular views!
        See whole of the peak District
        And has a adjoining woods,
        The golfers are actually ok
        I try and stay out of their way and just say hello.

      • Just be careful Greater Manchester police haven’t got any drones in the area looking for lockdown flouters Miserable, Fiddler is still in the dark over who defaced his croquet lawn too.

      • Evening LL.
        Last week on a job spotted something in the sky, dark and pill shaped.
        Didnt move just stayed there.
        Not a bird or plane,
        Presume it was a drone but if so it was pretty big!
        Unless it was those Hasbara moonmen?

        Anyone got any spare Bacofoil?

    • Strictly an armchair fan myself Vern but wouldn’t say no to a round at Pebble Beach* or Augusta.
      And the Ryder Cup has to be consistently the best head-to-head in all sport. Yep, even more than the Ashes.

      * public golf course. Visited the pro shop when on holiday in August 1990. Gadgee on the till told me they had next availability the following March …. a mere $130. 30 yrs ago. Buggy mandatory.

      • I was there in 2017 for a house party, it is $750 now at PB, I think Spanish Inn, just down the road was $250. Great part of the world, Monterey Car Week is a lot of fun.

  6. Hancock just gives us his oh so sincere serious face and tells us he really really doesn’t want to close sport/pubs/ cinemas etc but he has to do it to save lives.
    I don’t believe him. I think he fucking loves all the power and that he’s a cunt.

  7. Footballers and rugby players cuddling and grappling each other and gobbing all over the pitch, 200 people in Tescos, 40 people on a bus and you can’t play golf with one other person in the middle of nowhere.
    I can’t believe we’re taking this shit….

    • Could just fuckin’ be that shopping/food and travel to work are essential to life.
      Golf is essential to fuck all. It’s as decadent as that other fuckin’ ‘sport’ known as Horseracing.
      Anyone I know who’s keen on golf has been useless at proper sport and taken it up after retirement. Fuck off – and that applies to all darts lovers as well.

      • Evening Bertie.

        Mightily relieved you didn’t slag off snooker. Love playing snooker, me.

      • Thought about it Ruff, but there’s a certain quality about snooker – a bit like tiddlywinks. I cunt golf with a heavy heart because I don’t often disagree with Willie.

      • Bertie…you totally missed the point.
        It’s the double standards and inconsistencies in lockdown policy.

        And no…I won’t fuck off.

      • I was not directing ‘fuck off’ specifically to you JR!
        And I take your point about double standards.

      • I can’t cunt golf, Bertie.

        Out in the open, mucho walking in the fresh air, hitting things with sticks, socialising with Alice Cooper, what’s not to like?

        Btw, how dare you associate snooker with tiddlywinks, you upstart! Any more of that and I’ll send Willie round to give you a damn good thrashing with his number nine iron!

      • You say that Ruff, only because you’ve been given a wild card entry to the Trump open next year in Scotland!

  8. Golf.

    A truly brilliant way to spend time, to keep fit, to be at one with nature and time to be away from the usual annoying cunts in your life.

    In my time have played at some truly fantastic courses such as Walton Heath, Royal St George’s, Wentworth, Woburn and many other fabulous courses, always at the guests of insurance brokers.

    Received confirmation of
    membership from my lovely local club in Ipswich (Purdis Heath) only a matter of hours before my late wife was diagnosed with cancer. Needless to say I hardly ever played there thereafter.

    No golf on terrestrial TV these days (even the British Open for fucks sake), the R & A sold out to the cunts at Sky.

    Don’t see why those members of clubs shouldn’t be allowed to play.

  9. Evening Admin.

    Thanks, but I’ll pass on this occasion.

    She looks a bit on the heavy side. I prefer the more petite, boyish figure me, 34A tits Ideally. Anything over a mouthful is wasted, as my old mum used to say.

    I suspect you’ll have better luck with that prevert Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

    All the best,


    • 34A?
      Jesus Ruff thats a training bra!
      For who?
      Becky long bailey?

      I like big Hasbara tits!!

      • Evening Miserable.

        How dare you disrespect my dearly departed mother’s breasts!

        I’ve never had to pleasure of sucking Hasbara tits. Do they come in 34A?

        Always had to make do with Goy tits, me.

      • Goy, hasbara, all the same too me,
        Im surprisingly liberal when it comes to tits.

        Long as a C or D cup.💪💪

      • Hasbara tits come in various fruit flavours, don’t they. Think I’ve seen them advertised on TV.

    • She’s also got a terrible swing Ruff Tuff.

      Imagine that was the primary reason for your decision.

  10. How real do you cunters think the virus is on a scale of 1-10?! (btw I’m not counting 0 as a answer so fudge right off) I’m pretty sure its at least a 4 maybe 6 tho it depends on how intense the 5Gay rays is on that particular day and you are wearing a mask or if someone coughs in your direction. I’m not expert I don’t pretend to be. I leave that job to the real professionals like Dr Faugci and Dr Tidtro Adhomanom

    Also another question cunters have you received the corona vaccine yet? and was it forced by your employer or boss to retain work? and do you trust it to be as effective as a flu shot is?! If you answered yes to the last 2 out of 3 questions then get someone to give you a good hard slap in the piehole cause you deserve it you cheeky son of a bitch you

    • I had the vaccine last week but as a retiree, I look at it as a possible way of extending life and not preserving employment.
      I think I might have become quasi religious in that I seem to be developing a sense of faith!
      Why let the God Squad have all the best things in life?

      • Oh dear Bertie, it seems you may have had the rogue South Korean ‘Moonie’ jab by mistake.

      • You might be right Libs!
        Mrs B says I’ve been acting very strangely the last few days.

      • Well I’m always being taught to respect my elders and they came before me and are undoubtedly going before me…….. in the mortality sense and in the vaccine queueing sense so who am I to push in (never been one for queue-jumping).

        In the olden days coal miners would use canaries, now we use pensioners (or as remoaners call them – Brexit voters).

      • TITS – I do insist on Percy trying out any vaccine before I receive it. However, virologists are expecting the next pandemic – Pollyvirus 69 to be even more deadly with transmission between family pets and parrots.

  11. Looks like it could be Paige Spirinac in the picture. Somebody who I would like to play ‘a round’ with and well worth a internet search.
    Golf just seems to attract some right cunts, who all take it far too seriously.

    • Yes it is her and now I’ve googled the name I definitely need to practice my stroke play.
      Whatever the fuck that is?

  12. Most golfers I know are cunts, think they are something they are not.

    And the weird golf clothes they wear, they can shove their Pringle up Thier arses.

    • My uncle was a golfer and he was a cunt……… he was also a sted-head……. he isn’t anymore though so I can’t blame the golf I guess.

  13. Golf-a good walk ruined is what some folks say.
    I have never played on a course, although an acquaintance had his own driving range and mini course (millionaire cunt), I used to smash a few balls down the range, usually after a fine lunch👍
    I think that the super rich will be playing golf-it’s the general population who are being restricted👎

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