Life Coaches (2)

Life coaches are a bunch of cunts.

Fucking pseudo-science mumbo jumbo.

This is a quote from a life coach website.

“A coach won’t tell you what to do, instead, they will use questioning techniques to help you uncover the answers yourself.”

So basically a life coach does exactly what you can do yourself.

What a load of wank.

Client – I’m not happy with my job, what should I do?

Life Coach – What do you think you should do?

Client – Get another job?

Life Coach – Exactly. That’s £150 please.

Cunts

Nominated by: Uncle Monke

28 thoughts on “Life Coaches (2)

  1. If you need a life coach you are a waste of your dads jizz, and I suggest that you go and visit unkle Terry oven, fuck off…morning all

      • This should be Life Coaches [2] as I cunted them a few years ago.:

        http://is-a-cunt.com/2018/06/life-coachs/

        Something tells me this won’t be their last.

        (All down to the spelling. Your original one was “coachs”, whereas this new one is “coaches”, which is why we didn’t find a perfect match when processing the nom. But I have manually fixed it now – DA)

      • No apologies at all, Monkesy. Good nom. These people are con-artists, fleecing the stupid out of their cash. They’re on the same level as clairvoyants, Tarod card-readers, Catholic priests, and absolutely no law against it.

  2. Life coaches, take an audience of yoga indulging , pushy types who inhabit the gym and eat raw vegetables because “my body is a temple” but need motivating to perform functions a standard issue human could do from birth. The sort of fuckstick who gravitates seamlessly to a role of middle management in PR, marketing and human resources (WTF sort of title is that?).
    I’ll motivate you with a cattle prod and some ripe invective.
    5 grand please.

  3. Get a job.
    Stand on your own two feet.
    Accept responsibility for your actions.
    Don’t be a sponger.
    Don’t be a cunt.

    Advice available from any responsible parent.
    Life coaches provide an excellent opportunity to avoid point number three.
    Having said that, good luck to the life coaches, a fool and his money are easily parted.
    Good morning.

  4. Whenever I hear the term “life coach”, I always imagine them to be some Mr Rotivator type, shouty and clad in lycia. In short, an archetypal cunt.

    • A lot of the cunts who use these “life coaches”, should be ploughed back into the soil by a Rotivator, a woman not far from me does this snake oil shit, £3k for a weekend’s “life coaching “, she’s a vile cunt of a woman, and “she’s not even from round here!!!”

  5. This has got to be an American thing? Like analysts?

    Monday, analyst
    Tuesday, colonic irrigation
    Wednesday, life coach
    Thursday, church of Scientology and yoga
    Friday, debt advisor

  6. Motivational speakers are as bad. They spout any old shit and spin it as if it’s the 10 Commandments.

    I was in the audience when Jordan Belfort, the so called Wolf of Wall Street, came here to Auckland. Not fucking cheap and I wasn’t there to glean any insider secrets on getting rich quick (there are none), although I’m sure many were.

    Personally, I was curious as to the man himself, in how he viewed himself and his “career”, whether he was in any way contrite for the harm he caused.
    Short answer: no he wasn’t, he fucking loves himself and couldn’t give two fucks about the thousands of people he conned. Before anyone says he’s a legend because he lived it large, remember it was ordinary folk he fucked over, not international hedge funds or Royal banks, but I’ll expect the standard “they got what they deserved” comment’s. Whatever.

    A narcissistic bellend of the highest order was my overriding impression of him, and if that’s what it takes to “climb the ladder”, then I’m happy to stay on the ground floor.

    The only motivation I had was to leave at the end.

  7. The whole” self improvement” industry is big business nowadays , thought up by cunts who then get even bigger cunts to go on expensive training courses so they can get stupid cunts to pay for their services!! , it’s a Ponzi scheme .
    I have some first hand experience in the matter , back in the late 90,s I dated an attractive and fun girl who was particularly useless at organising herself, it drove me nuts and eventually after a few years we broke up , imagine my surprise when a mutual friend told me a couple of years ago she is now a “ lifestyle coach “ I couldn’t resist looking at her site , apparently all I had to do is pay her a substantial amount of money and she would transform me from the indolent TV daytime watching cunt that I am into a happy successful individual, apparently my “ journey to fulfilment “ could start “TODAY!! “ Of course that was after I had signed up , this all from a person who didn’t know her arse from her elbow and could cook an egg ….
    she’s come a long way ……

    • I want a life coach.
      Theres nothing I need more than a twenty something who talks motivational mumbo jumbo in american upspeak telling me what to do.
      I want to see how far I can push one into a complete demoralised breakdown.
      Ill push the cunt till hes too depressed to get out of bed.

      “Got you chips & gravy for breakfast”..😀

  8. Well, I’ve just forked out nearly five thousand pounds to enrol on a mind reading course.
    Now, I know what you’re thinking….

  9. Life coaches remind me of Basil Fawlty’s great quote on Fawlty Towers “Can we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Specialist subject the Bleedin’ Obvious!”

  10. People are fundamentally stupid and will believe any old wank. And, are usually prepared to pay handsomely for that privilege.

    • There have always been those who need to be told what to do, like get inside while it’s raining. These people are totally incapable of thinking for themselves. Whether it’s because they’re lacking in confidence or simply lacking in brains, they are put on this Earth to be taken advantage of.

  11. The NHS employ life coaches…..they go around telling slags how to feed their brats properly and to keep their legs shut to prevent even more thieving brats popping out. Needless to say it doesn’t work and is a waste of time and money.

  12. Life coaches-for people who think success is measured in gained personal wealth, not human relationships.
    Ie: has no mates, has to pay for advice.
    Cunts.

    Quite often, these coaches are fragile, “damaged” people, who regularly receive life coaching themselves.
    Pyramid sales.
    😉

  13. “Feel the burn”!
    “PLEASE put me out Mr Fox”!
    “Nope – and you owe me a fiver for the petrol!”
    Don’t need anyone telling me how to get fitter, reach my goals etc – I am a grown up and can manage that myself.

  14. Used to have a biology lecturer who insisted on calling herself a “facilitator.”

    Translation?? She was crap at lecturing in her subject.

  15. I was helping run an NLP course a few years ago and there was a life coach on the course. What a useless bint. Rather than run through the procedures property she told her “client” to sprinkle fairy dust on a problem to make it better. Needless to say she didn’t do well.

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