Will Young – Wanking on the Train

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Greetings, popickers. Let’s hear it for a golden oldie of yesteryear – at least 10 years and that is an eon in pop terms, for Mr Young, who, it seems, used to enjoy letting the train take the strain, as he knocked one out in the train lavatory spot:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8767571/Will-Young-reveals-buy-porn-pleasure-train-toilets.html

What people will reveal when they are desperate to sell a few books – and trying to revive a flagging career. I am not sure pocket billiards on the Chiltern Line is the best way to go about it however.

One thought occurs – why didn’t he travel on the same trains as Mandy and Anthony Blair? I am sure they would have been delighted to take him in hand.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

85 thoughts on “Will Young – Wanking on the Train”

    • Once a smug faced cunt, always a smug faced cunt.

      I hope he tries to knock one out while lying on the Northern line at rush hour, and put us all out of our fucking misery.

  2. Why wank on a train?
    Bit weird
    Not exactly comfortable, hes rich so can wank in his big house, is this a gay thing?
    Excited at the risk of being caught?
    Is it all public transport?
    Is he a bus wanker?
    They sully the most innocent of things dont they?
    If im on the Hogwart express happily drinking my Bovril from my thermos flask, eating my ham butties and colouring in my World at war colouring book,
    And need to take a tinkle only to push the khazi door open to find a celebrity gaylord wanking like a jap, itll sour my travel experience!
    Wills too when im forced to break his jaw and 4 ribs.

    • It seems to be the way with the lifters. George Michael the same. Perhaps why they are obsessed with public shithouses.

      • Well I don’t care If it is fashionable!
        Im not doing it.
        I was raised a flasher.
        And a flasher I will stay.

      • Afternoon Miserable, the art of flashing has an almost nostalgic sense of tradition about it, the grubby unwashed mac handed from father to son. None of this new fangled jacking off in train loos to get their kicks.

      • Exactly LL.
        In the sexual deviancy world theres a hierarchy.
        Flashers are at the top,
        We are a ancient tradition.
        When the ancient britons fought the greasy romans, Tacitus records them going into battle naked, flashing!
        Lady Godiva-horse back flashing.
        Duke of Wellington, Harold Haddrada,
        Cecil Rhodes
        Douglas Bader
        All liked the breeze to their balls.
        These modern ‘choo choo wankers’?
        Poor mans exhibitionsts

      • I got flashed at in Batsford Arboretum a couple of years ago. The other half had wandered off so missed it but just laughed his cock off when I told him. When asked what the flasher cunt had looked like,I said he had had a Barbour jacket on. Obviously a better class of perv.

  3. Just wait for it,

    Will Young in tears after a horrid man called him a Train Wanker!

    What a cunt!

  4. This happens a lot, nasty scrubs watching porn openly while rubbing themselves especially South-East Asian men starved of action. He has a Get Out of Jail free card as he’s a bender. It’s like cctv had never been invented.
    They have their hand on their nutsack and I have my hand on my Mace.

    • Eeew! Watching porn on a train whilst groping themselves JJ?
      Teach you for travelling to Bradford!

  5. He developed a railway fixation not long after admitting that his arse has seen more shuntings than Crewe Carriage Sidings….

  6. Gay porn mags on sale in Victoria Station? Total bullshit.
    And then having paid for them you leave them in the waste bin?
    Total bollocks.
    If you were straight and wanking on the train you’d be a pathetic degenerate but if you’re bent you’re a tortured soul who deserves sympathy. Just fuck off with this fairy tale you disgusting homo.

    • That’s true. I recall hearing about a bloke who got fired from his job a few years back for wanking in the bogs at work. He was straight by all accounts.

      If he’d been a bender he’d be employee of the month nowadays, and everyone would be saying how ‘brave’ he was.

      World has gone fucking mad.

  8. 🎶I’m wanking on the train, I’m wanking on the train
    What a glorious feeling I’m spunking again
    With my cock in my hand, and tug ‘gainst the pan
    I’m wanking, just wanking on the train, do’ be, do do do’ be do do🎵

    Will Young’s greatest hits available now!!!

  10. Put on my wanking shoe’s and boarded the train
    Touched down with my helmet in my hand
    in the middle of the pouring rain

    W.C. Handy, thank fuck for me
    Yeah I got a first class ticket
    But my bell end is as blue as can be

    Then I’m wanking in Berkshire
    Wanking with my one inch cock and me
    Wanking in Berkshire
    But do I really cum all over the seat?

    • Having, once, experienced the dubious delights of a train toilet I cannot see how anyone can hold their breath long enough to knock one out!

      • Dont forget Foxy Mr Young will be in first class
        Not in the goods carriage.😀

  11. Eh well some other cunt can clean up the place after this fruitloop/thank fuck i dont do public transport /how puzzled do you have to be to knock a round off on a train /ay hiding from the gestapo ticket inspectors a big enough buzz or what.
    Barmy cunt

    • You know, come to think of it, I can’t remember ever having a wank on public transport. I feel like I’ve missed out on something.

  12. As Jimmy Savile used to say…….”this is the age of the train.” Is it possible that the youthful Will bumped into him on the Inter City to Leeds?
    A much more believable story I think.

  13. A lot of whining and menstruating from the princess about feeling “Guilt” and “Shame” which is strange as they make such a big deal about normalising being a q*eer.

    • Ah, but the guilt and shame is caused by nasty bully boy straight cunts like us. If only we could understand that there’s nothing wrong with mincing about in a pair of pink spandex shorts but we are too ignorant. That’s probably why we’re all raaaay-sists as well. And every other kind of “ist” and “phobe” obviously. Haters gonna hate, as they say.

  14. Too many of the gays are degenerates.

    I heard that Peter Tatchell was complaining that a council was being ‘homophobic’ for banning men from bumming each other in a public place (a local park). The prick doesn’t seem to realise it’s illegal for straight people too. And rightly so.

    But for some reason, it only seems to be the gays who keep doing this in local parks.

    • Spoons-unscrupulous street vendors used to have dancing ducks. What most people did not realise is the ducks were dancing on a “hot plate”.
      Barbaric☹️

      • CG, that is indeed cruel. That boils my water hotter than a kettle.

        Stick the human culprits on a hot plate instead.

  17. I wish the Gay had stuck his head out of the train window and had it knocked off by a viaduct.
    Write a book about that you shitty cunt.

  18. What is it about the smell of piss and shit that gets fudgepackers horny? I can’t wait to get out of a public toilet, and if I can hold it till I get home, I’ll avoid it altogether, so the thought of having a sexy time, whether it be a pathetic wank, or a bunk up with a willing companion just doesn’t enter my head. Dirty cunt.

    • Benders have such few morals and are so indulged that I’m surprised they haven’t started openly bumming each other on the London underground.
      Will should come clean about how many famous h0m0s he’s entertained in his ringpiece to accomplish his meteoric rise to mediocrity.
      Elton John, obviously.
      And George Michael, presumably.
      And John Craven over the Newsround desk.

      • Eeuurrgghh. Hope they all caught gaymidia off each other.
        Or herpes.
        Should that be ‘him’pes?!

      • Hmmm …… Chair of the Bench, one Lucinda LUBBOCK !!
        Wonder if she’s any relation ?
        Fucking degenerates, there’s never a gang of skinheads around when you need them.
        Good evening.

      • I’d like to believe so, PM. But he was a BBC presenter in the 80’s, where bumfuckery and kiddie-fiddling were apparently a prerequisite.
        Also, John Noakes ditched Valerie Singleton to have a sordid affair with Percy Thrower in the Blue Peter garden.

      • Johnnie Craven has the whiff of patchouli oil about him?

        “Good evening and welcome to John Craven’s Reacharound with specials on macho Tom Cruise and manly John Travolta.”

      • I’m just waiting for the Countryfile calendar print run to get mixed up with John Craven’s personal collection, ‘Schofield in the Broom Cupboard circa mid 80’s.

      • Michael rod on screen test, I always thought he was a very unsavoury character.

      • Well Thomas they are openly bumming in parks. Found this the other day:

        Gay activists complain about being banned from having sex in public!

        A London council has been accused of ‘Homophobia’ after they were forced to BAN gay men having sex in a park.

        London’s Southwark Council had no option but to seek a Court Injunction to prevent gay men ‘Cruising’ in Burgess Park.
        They also had to cut down bushes in the park to prevent gay men from performing sex acts in them.
        The Council had to take action after increasing complaints of “men having sex” at the park from horrified members of the public.
        One incident involved a woman with young children see three men having sex in a wooded area of the park at 8am during the school holidays in August.

      • They were probably just trying out the exercises in Lord Adonis’s new book “Cottage And Cruise For Pleasure and Profit”, published by the Mandelson Press from their address at Great Queen Street.

    • Featuring cover songs of…

      1. Slade’s Come on feel the noise
      2. Cleopatra’s Coming At Ya
      3. The Beatles’ Come together
      and many many more

      Buy now!!! 🙂

      • Thatll be enough of that sort of thing mr Spoonington.
        I expected better from you, too much time in low company, you stay away from the common types on here!
        Ps
        You well Spoons?

      • #Metoo Miserable. He needs to be sent to other Nom forthwith for Mr Polly to have word with him.

      • Miles@
        Spoons is much nicer than most and Im determined to keep It that way.
        Most on here are lost souls, irredeemable rogues and bad to the core (Fiddler) but not spoons.
        Keep a eye out for him Miles!
        😀

        (Spoons would knife you in the back and fork off (see what I did there?) – DA)

      • I’ll be monitoring his output closely from now on rest assured Miserable. This has been a terrible lapse -his moral compass all over the place..But with fervent prayer I am confident we’ll get him back to grandma and her fairy cakes very soon.

        What am I saying? Aunt Dolly and her fairy cakes I mean. (fixed – DA)

      • MNC, Miles, my apologies. It must be memories of trying one of sister Dolly’s space cakes all those years ago.

        I am well. Thankyou. 🙂

        I’ll try and watch my language from now on.

        Should I stop reading that book, ‘Words For A Proper Gentleman – A guide to speaking properly, by Dick Fidler. Includes an introduction by B&WC’?

      • Be very carefull with that book from mr fiddler and the intro from b&wc i have heard that it was designed to conjure up the devil himself!

  21. Sorry, I mis-read the nom – I thought that was the title of his latest song.
    (And when I say `song`, I mean that entirely wrongly).

  22. Keep it to yourself young, no one is interested, you could wank off next doors dog for all I care, selling out as your career has slumped since you abandoned Strictly for not being able to take criticism.!

    • This is like the revelation from McCartney that the Beatles wanked together.
      ‘News’ you didn’t want to hear.

  23. For balance, I have had some great “close encounters” on both trains and stagecoach coaches in my late teens/early twenties.
    One of the most memorable with a German girl who was travelling from Kendal to Euston. 👍👍👍👍👍
    😀😀😀

      • Thomas-it was a knee trembler on an inter-city 125: toilet door locked, dress up, knickers pulled aside and forget about “foreplay”👍
        This was the Eighties-shaven snatch was considered a peversion-how tastes change, eh?

  25. About 25 years ago I can remember being of a packed tube train and a very hot young female planted her arse on my groin and kept in there. She got off one stop before and turned round and smiled knowing she had given me a stiffy.

    First thing I did when I got into work was go and whack one off, but I couldn’t have in a train loo or any public loo. The stench would kill any interest. What is it with gays and public loos!

  26. Only train I would want this cum guzzling shit stabbing arse bandit on would be to unkle Terry oven, gas mark 2000

  28. Was a time when this sort of thing would of ended a career, nowadays he’s one wank away from a knighthood.

  29. Inter-shitty 125.
    Next he will be saying that he had a frankfurter shoved up his arse from the buffet cart.
    Another slimy creep-bag hiding behind the LBGT vail of shit.

  30. I was once on a train from Piccadilly Manchester to Euston. There was a load of us, as were going down to watch United play Arsenal. It was night and one of them 80s sleeper trains. One of the more light fingered of our mob went on the prowl throughout the train. He found a bloke snoring in one of the sleeper compartments, so he took his trousers, whipped the wallet, and threw the keks out of the train window. When we arrived at Euston in the morning a man was seen in the station with no strides on and he was far from happy. It was none other than Sir Geoffrey Howe, then Chancellor of the Exchequer. I have rarely laughed so much as I did that day.

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