Mary Berry [3]

An icing sugar and self raising cunting please for this hoity-toity, up her own decrepit arse old tart, who, because she became a “national treasure” for making a few French fancies on the telly is going to be awarded a damehood for her trouble:

Fuck me sideways with Jess Phillips mammoth strap-on. and no lube – why?. The silly old cow does what she is paid to do on some low rent TV shows for middle class wimmin and poofters on the telly. She hasn’t discovered a vaccine for Covid19, she has just tarted up a lemon drizzle cake (the drizzle probably provided with her own piss).

There are far too many of these self regarding old bags with a plum in their mouth and a condescending attitude getting silly titles. (Jenni Murray, Baroness Scotland for example) come to mind. This can only encourage other self satisfied old matrons like Eddie Izzard to try for a title. The honours system really needs winding up for useless cunts like these. Fuck em.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

52 thoughts on “Mary Berry [3]

  1. They really ought to stop diggimg her up out that graveyard /looks worse each time they do /fucking christ almighty whatever next the iron cross for mein fuhrer boris fot fucking up the covid pandemic

  2. Am surprised the honours system isn’t on the Woke radar given its colonial past of British Empire and all that.

    Moreover, will these cunts still have to bow or bend the knee when being introduced to old Queeny when receiving their gong?

    Mary get a damehood for baking fucking cakes!

    • The honours system sucks shit. All mps shouldn’t be given a life peerage for turning up & doing fuck all while over-paid.

      Empty the house of Lords into a meat grinder. Only use for them is pig slop – the wankers

  3. Just waiting for someone on this site to say “she gives me a trouser arousal” etc etc.
    One thing’s for sure, it won’t be me!

    • I’ll admit that her fanny is probably a bit dry and powdery but a slop of goose-grease’ll sharp cure that..treat yerself,imagine a sweaty,red-faced Mary Berry bouncing up and down on yer cock like a spasticing Mother Teresa.

  4. I’ve been trying to get on that baking programme so that I can showcase all the benefits to be had from eating partially dried grapes.
    It’s all about raisin awareness….

  5. Snaggle-toothed,decrepit trout…I suspect that she in actually a disinterred Fanny Craddock..probably masks her rotten-corpse smell with the heady aroma of piss and mothballs.Nasty claw-like hands grabbing and grasping at things…”I’m old…gimme,gimme,gimme”.Mean,beady little eyes like a vulture spotting a gut-shot rabbit.Hair modelled on a German military helmet…she probably mannned a watch-tower at a camp.Treacly,wheedling voice like Myra Hindley inviting someone to “get in the car and come for a ride with us,little child”.

    I quite like cooking programmes…no idea why,I could never be arsed to fart on like they do,,,,cheaper and easier to just go to a restaurant if you fancy something special ( store-cupboard staples,indeed).

    Currently I enjoy watching Rachel Khoo.. I’d let her come round and drain me spuds anytime.

  6. Another cunt who landed on her feet in a very well-paid job at the top of their chosen field, whether through competence, trumpet-blowing, arselicking or backstabbing. Apparently these cunts deserve further honours to validate their smug comfortable existences.

    Oh, and Party donors.

    First against the wall, come the revolution.

    • I’m shit scared to say she’s hot because most of these cunts these days are fucking trans blokes/women or whatever.

      • Aye,I wondered the same…thought that Mr.Boggs may be setting a trap for the unwary.

      • No she is all woman. Just look at those magnificent orbs – she can sure do a good tassle dance, she is a lovely little mover. She reminds me of Kathy Kirby.

  7. Cunts like this old hag are kept on the screen to perpetuate the false notion that Good Old Blighty still exists and everything is nice and cosy,don’t you worry about anything dear etc etc
    The Dinghy Drivers will soon sort her out,given half a chance.
    Now Berry,Fuck Off.

    • My grandad caught Beri beri in Ww2.
      I hold her responsible.
      Whys my souffles not rising?
      Do they need more viagra?

      • My grandad caught Claus von Stauffenberg and several of his co-conspirators ….I think that gives me bragging rights,


      • Afternoon Dick,
        Was he tempted to let him go?
        Maybe in exchange for gold or fine art?
        One thing you can say for nazi top brass,
        They had impeccable taste.
        Rained off Dick?

      • Aye,rained off all right…30 fucking miles to sit for 2 hours in the vans and see if it was going to fair up…it didn’t.

      • I just got in soaked to the bone, covered in crap.
        Tip job.
        Charity paying for it.
        Seem the only ones with any disposable income?
        Bet Mary Berry is a stern task master?
        Type whips tory MPs while theyre wearing a nappy and handcuffs, a Dominatrix!!

  8. Pity I missed this nom as I would have added some inside extras. My aunt in the late 60’s early 70’s was editor for Woman’s Own and Woman’s Realm Magazine and had this harridan doing the cooking/baking section. I can tell you first hand this woman had no ideas of her own all recipes were collected, collated and made by the real cooks under her and she chose the ones she liked to feature in the magazine.
    Also as with most magazines they used to get lots of cooking freebies- 10 pans 3 mixers etc etc – not ONE of these were given to staff SHE took them all. Everyone hated her at IPC Magazines but she was unsackable apparently. Dread the thought of what she got up to and so did my aunt as she wanted rid of her. Horrible woman. Berry not my aunt.
    Oh and if you’re missus is old enough and she wrote into the advice page of one of those magazines back then she probably got the reply from my mum as she moonlighted back then as well as proof reading the true stories.
    Hah! true? about 2% were written by normal public. The rest made up in offices.
    Anyway I can hand on heart say Berry has been an icing on the cake she didn’t bake Cunt since the 60’s.
    Ok hands up who would want a hand job from those knarled knuckles?

    • Great detail, but why was she unsackable? There’s a missing element here: who in the IPC boardroom was suspending his judgement and fucking her?

      • It’s not that she did anything to be sacked for but she had friends in high places hence going on from there to bigger and better things

    • Ms Berry obviously follwed the rules of Lobochevsky*

      ‘Plaguerise, let no-one elses work evade your eyes’

      (*Tom Lehrer)

  9. I’ve never watched anything this old bag has been in, as it is for cunts.
    Though she might have been an extra in the walking dead, no makeup required.

  10. You are a bad man MNC but at least I don’t feel guilty now about wanting to fuck that Jenny bond tart😀

  11. Ohhhh! What a bunch of depraved cunts we are on here.
    Any wimminz that model themselves on Nancy Reagan circa 1980 is worthy of a cunting.

    As for a gong for services to fucking baking 😂.

    I shall paraphrase Nancy:


  12. They do say that the secret to making good pastry, is having cold hands.
    Since Mary Berry died in 1975, her pastry must be fucking mint👍
    A hand job of her would be like using a medieval gauntlet from the freezer to have a wank. (Shudder☹️).

  13. Bet she loves a lenth.

    Posh old bags like a bit of rough trade!
    Acts all superior but harbours fantasies of getting gang bummed off the binmen.
    They fuckin love it!!💪💪💪

  14. Dunno why, but part of me, just part of me wants to see her get made ‘Airtight’ by a bunch of Rampant Neg-Roids straight out of the Congo. (Real darkens)

    Not for my own gratification I’ll admit but because I think she’s a cunt and I’d much rather a big black ding-dong got shoved so far down her mouth (and other holes simultaneously) that I don’t have to listen to her ‘luvvie’ retoric and bullshit views regarding sub-par cake bakers that can fuck off to hell for all I care.

  15. Good old Mary Berry. A national treasure so I’m told. Coining it in with shit TV, Books, and her own brands of glassed mediocrity (made now by Baxters via- Australia, Poland and Canada). She’s a grabbing boring cunt.

  16. She’s that old, her minge is haunted. Definitely a 24 pint’er. I bet nobbing her would be like riding a Penny Farthing over a cattle grid.

  17. The whole of the Honor system has gone to shit. You can basically get an OBE for fucking a dead cat these days if you call it art.

  18. Cheers cunters,
    A rough day at work, the tears are running down my face with laughing. I’m sure there are some very sick puppies on here MNC and Mr Fiddler, i’m looking in your direction.
    Bloody quality nom by the way.

    Cheers CuntyMort

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