Covid Marshalls

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Hello, hello, hello, what do we have here then? – well the answer – officer – is a group of self appointed nosy parkers and curtain twitchers who “could be council employees or volunteers” who will take it upon themselves to prance and mince down the street telling us stupid common people what to do:

https://uk.yahoo.com/news/what-are-coronavirus-compliance-officers-161118381.html

Yes, old Maureen from Forward Planning, or old Bert the council lavatory attendant, will be on parade, with a friendly, but firm and authoritative word to tell us about hand sanitizer or social distancing – fuck it, even Asda the low rent supermarket (part of the Walmart “fam-i-lee”) is leaping aboard the bandwagon from Monday employing their own version of the meddlers, to keep the proles in order.

Who are these self important fuckwits, who think they have the right to meddle and interfere?. Jumped up little nobodies, a bit like those obese doormen at clubs, who wanted to be a policeman, but were too fat to do so, people who want to “do good” without having to contribute anything of value. It reminds me of Tony Hancock when he became a blood donor “Do we get a badge for doing this?. Nothing pretentious – just a little enamel thing, just to show we are do-gooders, with something like “he gaveth for others, so that others might live” – that sort of thing”

If one of these motherfuckers have a friendly word for me, I will have an unfriendly one for them – CUNT.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

(Can we have some BLM, XR and Dinghy Marshalls please? No, thought not. – DA)

and seconded by Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler 

Little Hitlers

I went to pick up a couple of things at my local Co-op yesterday….it’s a small shop so they have to limit how many are allowed in at any one time. So I queued up and dutifully put my face-nappy on when I got to the head of the queue. The shop’s traffic-light system isn’t working (don’t think it ever has) so they had some middle-aged trout stood on the door letting people in…when a bloke came out, I assumed that it would be alright for me to go in…apparently not…the old Bag fair screamed at me “Wait until I tell you that it’s safe to enter”. I didn’t take this well…as I told the bitch,I hadn’t let anyone speak to me like that since I was a child and I’d be damned if some self-important harridan would be the one to get away with it…anyhow,to cut a long story short,I took my custom elsewhere.

I suspect that as we get more of Johnson’s snoopers and busybodies that there’ll be trouble. People are getting sick of petty little nobodies who are relishing the chance to tell people what to do. I’m certainly not advocating violence (as in yesterday’s “wear your mask” nom.),but there are a lot of people who have just about had enough of tinpot “Covid heroes” enforcing the rules of that economy-wrecking,pathetic Old Woman in No.10.

93 thoughts on “Covid Marshalls”

  1. My local Tesco has them on the door (they are staff). Overheard the girl telling her mate that she doesn’t say anything as she doesn’t get paid to do that. Good on her.

    • You can guess the type who’ll be attracted to the role cant you?
      The type ive never taken any notice of, never will.
      Nosey, petty, tinpot authoritarian types,
      Just tell them to fuck off.
      One comes the cunt with me im going to either
      A) accuse them of sexual assault
      B) of racial hatred
      “He called me a n*gger’

      • Ps
        Fiddler, your the only person I know of who can get barred from a co-op.
        You should of used my advice, accused her of sexual misconduct or race hate.

      • I was once even banned from my own fucking bank….I exploded after standing waiting while the teller gossiped about holidays with the Cunt in front of me. The manager actually rang me up to tell me that I was banned and that they were closing my accounts.

      • Fiddler, did you ever get any feedback as to why your application to join the Diplomatic Service was not pursued?

      • TT DF@ – Sir Fiddler, if it was Barclays you were barred from I am nominating you for a knighthood!
        (I had the same problem – lazy fat bitch bank staff who constantly made mistakes and seem to think their job is poking an Iphone and chit chat – they got a massive earful from my good self!).

      • Morning Dick, I hope they gave you the £20 you had in your account back after closing it down. 😁

      • @B+WC…I’m still waiting for that cousin of yours who you introduced to me as … “Prince M’Bantu UmBonobo” to send my commission for allowing him to use my bank- account to transfer 15 million Pounds out of Bongobongo Land.
        Have a word with him next time you give him his delivery orders.will you?

      • @Dick Fiddler…Prince Mbongo? I know naffink abaaaaaht him or his dodgy activities. A fine upstanding citizen like me doesn’t mix with those type of ruffians.
        May I remind you still owe my Brothel money for your time with black Sandra…she said you ran aaaht the door after shooting your load, didn’t even get dressed. You have really let down out reputation we have built in the neighborhood of having high class clientele.

      • @B+WC….”Black Sandra” indeed…fucking “Black Sam-bo” would have nearer the mark…6’2 tall,24 stone,voice deeper than a fucking coal-mine…and a cock that would have done justice to a fucking dray-horse….your idea of a joke I suppose…you wicked Cunt.

        PS…I didn’t flee naked..I’d shot my load long before I’d got undressed.

      • Should ‘Have’, MNC. Didn’t you learn ANYTHING from yesterdays language thread?🤣

    • To be fair,I really feel sorry for members of staff who have to do a job like that – many years ago my son was a Saturday boy at a big store and they gave him all the unpleasant jobs, specially if they were on the door or outside, and just last week I came across a very embarrassed junior member of staff at Sainsburys, who you could see would rather have been doing anything else but “greeting” with face nappies outstretched.

      You can picture Hyacinth Bucket or Dame Keir (he might send Jon Ashworth with his camp little voice) volunteering for this sort of role, because it is their Christian duty – and theyget off on telling people what to do, especially if they can be condescending while doing it.

  2. I thought that lady in the middle of the photo was taken a dump in a non existent khasi, or the two men had whipped it away from her!

    • If I’d been behind the door she was snooping through,I’d have shoved my cock through the letterbox and waved the fucker in the old tart’s face.

      • Now i imagine that visually disturbing to the old tart herself /i think she would faint right there.much to your amusement oh snd others

      • Better yet one could slways put ones arse up against the letterbox then at the right moment of further inspection pebble dash the nosy bastards that ll shift em

    • Mr Boggs its a trans-warden!
      And its taking a piss through JK Rowlings letterbox!!

  3. Covid Marshall’s…don’t make me laugh.
    We have a Government who have let loads of positive testing cunts wonder abaaaaaht infecting people because of an App failure, then they get the numbers wrong due to a computer error.
    Knowing this Government the next failure will be Covid Marshall’s who have tested positive for Coronavirus going aaaaht and abaaaaaht infecting poor cunts whilst telling them what to do.
    If any Marshall tries telling me what to do I will tell them to go fuck themselves (loud enough for everyone nearby to hear).
    Of course if the Marshall is female she will be so distracted by my dashing looks and charm that she will let me do what I want anyways.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • How long till these blue vest sheriffs get battered?
      Days? A week?
      People have enough to deal with without some traffic warden type cunt asking them to mask up, wash their hands, social distance etc
      I see one in the street getting savaged off feral youths I’ll ignore it!
      Im not a nosey type.
      Why im not a fuckin covid Marshall!!

      • Hours I reckon MNC,
        It’ll only take one of these Marshall’s trying to tell some cunt (in a bad mood) what to do and then they’ll get a slap.
        I’ve been in banks, supermarket’s, clothes shops etc, and no cunt has asked me to wear a mask.
        When they do I say I have a condition.
        What a farce this whole thing is now..

      • Saw two of the cunts at the bus stop this morning as I was looking out of my bedroom window.

        Both middle age and morbidly obese. Neither of them were wearing a mask.

        You couldn’t make this shit up.

      • It’s a farce VF, it’s like a bad comedy but sadly people are dying and getting I’ll.

  4. And I notice that the “grey grumblers” are back on community speed watch. Draped in hi-viz jackets and pointing their little devices at you with a sullen look on their faces as you pass them doing 20mph.

    Their fear of covid overcome by the need to boss others around. Defy them by doing 35mph and you’ll get a warning letter. Do it again and they report you to the cops.

    Why not give them new powers to stop cars and check that the occupants are all in the same bubble?

    They’d love that.

      • The number-plates on the Hilux are always left covered in mud. Only once had a Copper pull me and tell me to clean them.

      • I remember when you could easily get replacement licence plates made up…a couple of lads had them made with the number of the local Police car…they then spent an hour speeding backwards and forwards past the newly installed speed camera.

      • Fucking right, Mr F…if I’m on a particularly noisy motorbike and one of these old bitches is monitoring my speed as I go into a particular village, I whip the clutch in and give it a jolly good rev…hopefully it ruptures their hearing aids.

      • Thomas-a mate if mine who had an Afrika twin, used to pop a wheelie and speed past on one wheel-fuck me could that lad ride!👍👍👍

  5. I might volunteer to be a ‘Marshall’.
    I would go around telling people ‘no need to worry, it’s all over now’ and ‘you can have 60 people in the house’.
    I could even attach a light the Audi and pull over any cunts that get in my way who have more than 2 people in their car.
    I wonder where I can nick one of their high visibility jacket’s?

    • Heehee!😀
      “Let me through im a covid marshall!”
      Flashes wallet.
      Do covid marshalls outrank traffic wardens?
      Dont think they outrank PCSOs ?
      Probably outrank a toilet attendant?

      • “Good day madam, new rules from Boris just in. Masks are to be worn on the arse and I’m going to have to inspect you are wearing it correctly as part of my Covid Marshall duties”.

  6. Of course where my exclusive Notting Hill flat is there is no public right of way. If these Marshall’s try and wonder abaaaht there, I’ll call the police. 😂
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • BWC@
      Whats Hampstead like?
      Posh or shithole?
      Ive got to go there next month on a job,
      Dont want to but its paying well.
      😞

      • Hampstead is quite posh MNC, depends which part though I guess.
        Don’t wander abaaaaaht the heath after dark though…a known place for Gay’s.
        You might bump into Krav daft. 😂

      • Im just loading the van and getting out of there soon as I can!!
        I’ll treat any passerby to my Northern friendliness
        “Aye up pal!”
        Blanked
        “Hey you ya cunt!”
        😀😀😀

  8. We have the same cunts here in the states.

    I wear a mask everywhere I go in public. I honestly don’t know if it does any good. But I chose to wear one just to err on the side of caution.

    However, I don’t take well to people involving themselves in my affairs without an invitation. If they do, as a law abiding, gun toting American, my response might be something like:

    Hey! Marshal this you nosy, self aggrandizing, vigilante cunt!

    I’ll bet you they’ll be wearing a mask on their ass to keep from shitting themself the next time they approach some old fart like me.

  9. I was reading that of over 40,000 people who are meant to be self isolating for whatever reason, 10% of these cannot be traced due to incorrect or false information given on the form / app. So thats fucking useless then!

    The Police / Covid SS will only attempt to make contact twice and then they give up as they don’t have the manpower to continue looking for people who are obviously not there.

    I was in Denmark over the weekend to visit my kid for his birthday. As this is now a ‘banned’ country (so is the UK) you should see the bullshit paperwork I had to collect before I was let in to DK. My kid’s birth certificate, his christening certificate and his national insurance card were all requested at border control.

    I also had to fill in three printed pages of very personal information before I would be let back into the UK. Did the UK border control ask for this? Did they fuck. I just strolled straight through. But the point is, the amount of personal information requested was more than you would give on a mortgage application. Scary stuff.

    If I go suddenly quiet here, it is because I have been bundled into the back of a van for re-education by the bat flu gestapo for refusing their ‘vaccine’ and trying to live a normal life.

    My downfall will be my honesty when filling in their poxy form.

  10. The public health message should be simple
    Stop being cunts!

    I would like to see the marshals walking round with sandwich boards with ‘unclean, unclean, bring out your dead! 😂 These marshals are pointless, the public will either comply with the message or not and having some cunt in a high vis vest isn’t going to make any difference.

    The media are still banging on about Covid all day every day but never in a constructive way it’s either it’s a hard luck story or an expert giving an opinion or just bashing the government.
    Just stick to the public health message it’s not difficult, useless cunts.

    I haven’t seen any Covid police at supermarkets in my area but I do my weekly shop at Tesco at 7am, the staff outnumber customers by about 10 to 1, all done in 10 to 15 minutes (it would be quicker but there are a few very attractive young fillies doing the shopping for sit at home delivery mob).

    Just on the box now, that stupid Victoria Derbyshire reading out comments from the public about Trump, for fuck sake what has Trump got to do with the UK.

  11. Did everyone see that recent video taken from a funeral service, showing that jobsworth cunt rushing to march in and tell family members they are not allowed to get close to or hug each other and ordering people away from their efforts to console a grieving widow?

    If you didn’t, here it is:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wchPE4ujaZI

    Be warned though, you may experience a severe loss of hope as a result of watching.

    • What a absolute prick.
      Bet he feels good about his new job, much better than his last one as a draught excluder.
      Wonder how he’ll get on at a gyppo funeral?
      They tend to be a bit highly strung?
      As will he.

    • You can see how much he enjoyed doing it, can’t you?. They should sack the insensitive cunt, but hr probably has a wife and a hernia to support.

    • If I were at a funeral for one of my immediate family and some prick came over and pulled that shit, he would increase his risk of catching Covid by blood transfer due to the huge amount of blood coming from the bridge of his nose mixing with the blood from my knuckles.

      • Had that been one of my relative’s funeral, I would have waited for the service to finish out of respect and then informed the jobsworth cunt to make arrangements for his own funeral next week.

    • Agree it is a bit jobsworth but they have to comply with the law, there should have been a discussion with the funeral director beforehand about who is in the support bubble (stupid phrase) and those in the bubble could be in close contact.

      Just needs a little bit of brain in gear!

  12. Covid marshalls are probably given daily target quotas in order to get a bonus:-

    10 x White Van Man
    8 x White Chavs
    6 x Other White working class and underclass types
    3 x White Middle and Upper class cunts
    2 x Dinks & Nips
    1 x Camel riders
    1 x Indians
    0 x *BLMs excluded because its’ cuz their black innit!

    • Do you know if these knobs are paid, TC?
      If so, I’ll enjoy calling them “minimum wage spastics” like I do to the occasional nosey security prick.

      • No idea.

        I guess some do it for free just to be able to look important, point a few fingers, tick a few boxes and have a jolly old wank over their hi-viz jackets when they get home after a busy day being a nosy cunt!

    • I thought they were volunteers and as far as I am aware they have no powers whatsoever or than to snitch to the police.

  13. Covid Marshals – the equivilent of Community Speedwatch, Community First Responders (cunts that pretend to be paramedics, one around here introduces himself as one, I’m waiting for to catch him, the plastic cunt), Highways Agency traffic wombles (I’ll park my ambulance whare I want to, not where you point), traffic wardens, Johnners and PCSO’s. Most are fucking Walter Mitty wannabes that just LOVE that hi-vis and ‘Authority’. There’s a speedwatch group around here. One of the cunts puts their hands over their ears as we go past with the sirens on. I make a point of going as fast as I can, as close as I can to them and changing the tone of the siren to the most piercing one, every time! Fucking curtain twitching busy bodies.

  14. Pity we can’t have Kiddie Fiddler Marshalls!

    They’d be rushed off their fucking feet in parts of Bradford, Middlesbrough and other Northern cities with a large “cultural” mix.

  15. Do these people actually exist? are there really covid marshalls? I have yet to see one.

    Probably a bit like that cocksuckers Boris’ “army of volunteers” which either never had anything to do or turned out to be on the sex offenders register for granny fiddling.

  16. I took some books back to the library, and had to fill in name. Tel number. Then as I was about to put books through the machine some old cunt said I can’t do that untill I’ve put my slip of paper into the box by the information desk this is fucking balls. What difference does it make. To these arseholes it’s a power trip. I think the old bag was creaming her knickers the bitch.

  17. The world is full of cunts, so there will be no shortage of takers for this job. Many would do it for free.
    Most stores ask that you wear a face covering, not a mask. What a load of bollocks.

  18. Perhaps it’s all part of the Wuhan window dressing so that when mandatory vaccination becomes law we’ll all just go along with it.
    What a set of cunts.

  19. I take this as an admission that the nudge unit has failed completely. People aren’t going to comply with the policy, for whatever reason, and policing it isn’t going to achieve enough to be worthwhile.

    Unless a large majority of people accept that some inconvenience is really necessary, principally to avoid the NHS collapsing under a major surge in serious cases, marshals are an irrelevance and the rules will be evaded with or without them.

    Failing the general public taking a blind bit of notice, and failing the likes of Trump not misusing his authority to promote a false sense of security, IOW shutting the fuck up, all that’s going to work is targeting the really vulnerable groups and locking them down indefinitely. Their reward will be priority in the vaccination queue if/when a vaccine becomes available. And survival, of course.

    • I started to write a response K but you know what? Fuck it, this is a fear riddled charade and the blind fools are swallowing the shitstorm hook,line and sinker.
      If the future means isolation,face muzzles and social interaction (apart from public employee ‘scolds’) forbidden then I’ll take my chances. I haven’t heard anything from animal rights groups about the monkeys being used for testing, probably because they’re namby pamby scared of catching a disease that over 99% of infected recover from.
      Fucking ” new normal”, piss off.

      * Not aimed at you or others here, just the compliant twats running around waving their arms in the air. They should slow down a little before they trip over their grossly over-sized shoes.

      • The risk is real if you’re my age. If you’re younger feel free to give a shit or not, but for preference don’t breathe on me, especially as you probably won’t know if you’re infectious or not. A mask will aid you in that.

        PS I work with fucking students.

      • My heart went out to the poor little bleeders on Wireless 4 last week (World At One I think) all the little stoodents whinging that they were confined to their little rooms in their student accomodation, couldn’t go to the pub, might not be able to go home to mum at Xmas, and I just thought -at your age in the 40s and 50s you would have be in the services thanks to National Service, first 12 weeks confined to barracks or ship, being called a cunt by the officers, if you went into training in October Xmas would be out and no running home (some of the students on this programme were saying they might go home and not come back). if we had done that we would have been AWOL. I just wish they were told this – and no central heating either.

      • I can agree with all of that. Even in the sixties, and a volunteer, it was six weeks basic, twelve weeks trade, and it was usually a sergeant or below doing the shouting – ossifers were well out of our league. Although, admittedly, there was plenty of exercise.

        Even that’s got a lot softer lately.

      • K, I’m also “at risk” and I’ll breathe wherever the fuck I want, if you or anyone else is that scared then I suggest you,or anyone else stay indoors and disinfect everything that comes through your letterbox and wear a bio-hazard suit if you do need to go outside.
        This lemming hysteria is a nonsense and demonstrates the complete lack of fortitude in today’s society.
        It’s the flu and nobody is immortal.

  20. A quick squirt of vinegar in that peeping tom’s eye in the pictute will learn him. Fucking nosey cunt. They’ll think twice about looking through a strangers letterbox again with the risk of that in their peepers.

  22. Even though I am land locked can I volunteer to be a dinghy marshal please?Use them for target practice

  23. You see that cunt at the crematorium? I would have replaced my father’s coffin with that shit head. Hope he as nightmares for the rest of his bullshit miserable life.

    • @Harry:

      I watched that footage yesterday-I could not believe it ☹️☹️☹️

  24. This was always going to happen. The same aresholes who were milk monitors, hallway monitors, prefects, road Marshall’s at village fetes/town shows/bonfire night etc….
    You know the ones.

    I concur with many of the above comments. I expect many will receive “the wrath” of disgruntled ordinary folk. 6’4” labourer being told to go home because it’s after 10pm-Gene, you are going to need more paramedics😂

  25. If any of these Marshall’s tell me to ‘go home’ they’ll get a hiding and then reported for being racist.
    😁

    • If you wear a face mask, how would anyone be able to identify you, if you did smack them?
      Perhaps you should keep a mask in your pocket, for such an eventualiy 😀

  26. I want to find a Covid Marshall with the same size shoe as me – I fancy a new pair of trainers and if I am careful I will be able to keep the bloodstains off them! 😀👍

  27. What the fuck is up with some cunts? I was in Tesco last week in a till queue and stood about 12ft away from a bloke paying. He looked at me and said ” can you move back onto the blue spot”. He’s a fucking shopper not a fucking worker, so I told him “No! Don’t impose your OCD on me”, Mrs WCC giving me daggers. He shadap and fucked off the wanky cunt. Again, what the fuck is up with some people?

  30. Print off the CDC and NHS/ONS numbers, and just hand them out to them as you say “I’m exempt from this bollocks, thank you”.

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