Claudia Winkleman, co-host of Strictly, definitely deserves a nomination.
She gets a pay rise from the BBC, taking her salary to £369,000, and 24 hours later she sends a round-robin email to BBC staff asking them to film themselves dancing for a ‘Dancing with our staff’ promotional video.
This has caused some fury among the none ridiculously overpaid staff, because many of them have just received redundancy notices. Wait…they get made redundant, and so called celebrities get pay rises, could there be a correlation?
Anyway, Winkleman has shown a level of self-unawareness that rivals Lineker. And for that reason, I formally nominate the annoying cunt.
Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw
Yeah I get all that and what a prize dolt and cunt, but boy would I tounge her rusty bullet hole until it caught fire 🔥 through friction burns. Yes Siree!
11
Seconded…. I would definitely lick her bum.
2
A bit insensitive perhaps quick draw but this is not what makes a CUNT! Sorry but I must renounce your CUNTING. Claudia seems like a nice fun girl and shes not woke which in this day and age (and especially at the Beebistan) a miracle. However, I would also love to slip her a length as my fellow cunters have described.
0
…or I’d black those eyes for real with my massive member during a slightly off target pearl necklace. The cunt!
17
A career in romance novel writing awaits, Westie! 🙂
16
Thanks IY. I’m thinking of a change of career actually and might jump on the BLM bandwagon at the same time by writing for Mills & C0on.
17
God she looks like a hag from c horror film. Obviously likes her make up that makes her look like a total cunt.
10
Someone ought to tell er
GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT!
11
Admin , what’s with the picture of Joey Ramona?
No idea, Guzzi. Day Admin found the pic. I added the caption. – Night Admin
(For a second there I thought it was too. But here’s more of this Amazon beauty. Phroaarrrr!!! – DA)
Claudia, The Best Bits!
8
Ramone ffs
7
Years ago, I thought her quite attractive & funny, but it turned out she’s an irritating sleb woke fuckwit just like all the other over-paid, up-their-own-arse, cunts.
I’d only be able to ram her if she wore a ball-gag (which I doubt she’d enjoy, as she never stops flapping her mouth).
On the plus side, as she gets older, she might develop huge fun bags like her mum (Eve Pollard)
9
Be like getting a blow-job off a startled Alpaca.
https://images.app.goo.gl/knP42k6JGpwAj2NX8
Again Dick? You never learn – NA
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That alpaca’s black. That’s a black alpaca. That’s racist. .
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Lammy probaly knows a black alpaca probaly
11
Yeah! Just a pair of shades away from Joey Ramone!!😀
Your careers shite if the biggest achievement is having glossy hair.
Im torn between my urge to rip her knicknacs off an plough her and my urge to inform the Gestapo of her whereabouts.
17
Funny isn’t it that she does an advert for Head and Shoulders and apparently reads some texts from real people who comment that her hair can’t be real…..
What has the world come to. Obviously her hair is real. Everyone knows that women in their late 40’s, approaching the m.e.n.o.p.a.u.s.e have jet black hair as straight as a fucking plumb line.
Jesus.
Every time I see this fake I feel motivated to write a nom on ‘Closed Shops’.
Not the unionised closed shops of the 70’s and 80’s but the fucking closed shops that exist in the world of Claudia et al but as I write most of my Noms during my 20 minute shits I think I’d loose the use of my legs writing this one up.
Claudia Winkleman – Eve Pollard
Zoe Ball – Jonny Ball
Philip Schofield – Faggot
Hannah Waterman – Dennis…
Lucy Davis – Jasper Carrot
Danni Dyer – Danny Dyer
Honestly I’ve not even started. Isn’t it amazing that only actors pass on their talents……
When it comes to sport, for instance it seems that the genes just don’t make up the spunk bucket.
Callum Best
Brooklyn Beckham
Any of the the Rat faced Neville’s kids
But I bet they all got a trial.
Why oh why oh why……..
5
Most expensive talentless fringe in human history.
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Fuck this annoying leathery widow twankey looking witch.
8
Is it just me or are her eyes upside down.
5
No, its not just you.
Look at her left eye. It is upside down.
5
When this is your sister:
https://i.pinimg.com/600×315/d8/bc/8f/d8bc8fd833011089e443cecf34d6d8a6.jpg
You can understand why she tries so hard to be noticed.
7
Is it really her sister?!!
Wow!
Id tattoo my mobile number on her arm!💪
8
Her mum Eve Pollard wasn’t bad looking in her day, great set of bangers.
(Your wish is errr…. whatever floats your boat – DA)
Eve’s Bollards!
5
Isn’t that Leslie Garrett admin?
She is a top milf.
6
Leslie Grantham?!!
3
Well, half-sister if we get into technicalities, but still.
You may have already seen her though, from her role as Big Suze on Peep Show. Beyond fucking sexy for sure, she’s damn near perfect.
6
Her muff hair must be blacker than downtown Harlem. That eye makeup is very 1960’s as well. Would I????????? No.
5
Nor me. I set the bar low but she doesn’t reach it.
3
So that just leaves B&WC to uphold the ‘honour’ of the site.
3
Same here. Wouldn’t go near it. I’ve seen less scary fright masks than her.
2
A before and after that didn’t work out so well.
https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/79/750×445/1027042.jpg
shame.
2
Before and after what? 30 seconds in a deep fat fryer? Is it really the same woman?
3
Holy shit. She looks fit as fuck before. What the hell happened?
5
And also:
http://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/272073863891-0-1/s-l1000.jpg
I remember presenting a Children’s television programme back in the 90s looking like this and was surprised it was the same person
6
correction – I remember her presenting a children’s television show. Not me and I certainly don’t look like her..fuck sake.
I’ve embarrassed myself yet again.
8
Isn’t she married to some raghead Prince or something?
Permanently squinting when reading from an autocue, should be able to afford a pair of glasses on her money..
8
Put the demented witch through a mangle.
6
Prune faced cunt
9
Jealousy. Admit it, you’d give your spleen to have hair like hers.
4
I’d throw in both my kidneys for the 450k she is reputed to earn per year.
I found that out from Winklepêdia.
6
Evening Bertie or is it Bettie? 450k eh? Not bad going for having to pretend you know who the bunch of sad no mark celebs actually are.
4
Evening LiLi or should that be Lilly? 😅
If she was a contestant nobody would know who the fuck she was!
3
He prefers Betty on a friday LL!😀😀
3
That would only make me a personality vacuum Allan.
1
£369,000 for what, to act like a cunt on strictly.
These BBC salaries are a fucking joke.
8
BBC salaries are the classic example of passing away other people’s money.
9
Ffs again, pissing not passing.
7
something very odd about her eyes. Cant make my mind up if their to far down or to far apart on her face ?
My huge scrotum dangling over her eyes while informing her a load is coming her way would be a delight.
This one goes out to you Claudia
🎼My Yiddishe Momme 🎼
5
i just sang my rendition of My Yiddishe Momme and it was moderated ?
Oh no it wasn’t! Oh yes it was! Too soon for some panto japes? – Night Admin
3
That Tess Daly is another case of being very pleasant but utterly talentless and unfunny with a voice that goes straight through me.
Wouldn’t bone her either.
4
Aye you would
3
Aye you would. I’d pull it on like a fisherman’s sock.
3
Air headed cow.Not a clue.Pointless BBC jokers.Yes her sister is fit.Is there room for her in your oven Unkle Terry?
6
Some right fussy fuckers on here!
All you lads dating super models?!
Shes a decent looking lass!
With glossy hair
An a even fitter sister.
Hardly the fuckin elephant man is she?
Get in there!!! Ffs
8
Damn rught, MNC.
Would you prefer to give her or Tess Daly a spiteful and unenjoyable (for her) boning?
5
Her Thomas!
If I wasn’t married and a young blade an she approached me in a boozer? Oi vey!!💪💪
Although when Claudia awoke in the morning sans purse, gucci handbag, and glossy hair shed be tearful.
And when she found out shed caught a STD.
7
Her hairstyle is courtesy of a tupperwear bowl and her eye makeup looks like it has been applied with a catapult, fired by Lennie Peters after drinking a gallon of Scrumpy Jack.
What a fucking scrag-end. The last time a saw something like that, it was piloting a fucking broomstick.
17
Or more likely to be piloting a rubber dinghy looking at er
4
A very amusing group of similes sir!
3
The heavy make up …
Gene Simmons of rock band ‘Kiss’ fame said of their heavy make up / face painting from their early years… if they were successful, they could age gracefully without any fucker noticing, wearing all that ‘slap’ and appear ‘eternally youthful’… very true as it turns out …
Maybe Ms Winklepiece carrys the same argument. Get the heavy slap on early and continue into her 80’s ‘looking the same’ .. Discuss.
3
Has anyone ever cunted Gene Simmons?
I hate that pube headed cunt.
6
#metoo MNC
He’s a no talent, arrogant, money grabbing, cod-piece wearing, piece of shit. Thinks he invented everything.
He’s trying to rip off Ronnie James Dio’s trademark Devil horns. Claims he invented it. Did he fuck.
Ronnie James Dio got it from his Grandmother. She was Sicilian and it was said to be a way of warding off the evil eye, or giving someone the evil eye. I think its called the maloik.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c6/b8/74/c6b874e09f7eb40be5fb53f728dfef3c.jpg
3
Hes the most obnoxious, odious piece of shite to ever walk upright Harold.
We should do a joint cunting?
Payback for Dio.
1
\m/ LOOOOKOUUT!! \m/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q5S10dCHaE
I liked the Vivian Campbell era best.
1
I think we owe it to Ronnie James Dio. He was the God of Metal, not that serpent-tongued, bellend Simmonds.
2
Kiss are fucking shit. Pantomime twats.
Mob rules.
1
Devil’s advocate again. While a couple of them are Red Sea pedestrians – Claudia’s one – the BLM box hasn’t been ticked at all. The colquhouns aren’t even represented in the bloodsucker club!
Shame. Booo. Tear down Lord Reith stachoo, etc.
4
RSP. I wonder was there a little green man they were all waiting for before they set off?
3
They heard a coin drop on the other side.
5
Evening Miserable. I am in the process of writing a Nom arguing for the truth of the Parting of the Red Sea and other OT Bible stories. Do you think I have a chance of convincing anyone?
6
No you bloody don’t. But feel free to make a tit of yourself regardless. I will enjoy it very much as will anybody else here who is a proponent of methodological naturalism over ancient superstition.
I haven’t had a good laugh in ages. Please continue.
5
Captain M is well known for his open-mindedness and tolerance over religious matters.
5
This is a response to Liberal Liquidator’s comment timed (September 25, 2020 at 9:26 pm)
You what mate? You aving a fucking larf?
1
Evening Miles!
Maybe? Stranger things have happened but id look forward to it!
Go for it.
👍👍
3
Maybe they just need updating for relevance to modern life Miserable? Feeding the 5000 dinghy invaders with a few packs of verboten Uncle Bens Rice or Noah’s Ark was needed because of climate change and not the wrath of God.
4
Did you, ahem, mention a coin?
Greetings from Yorkshire!
6
Hee hee Vern, I bet you could hear a pocket full of pennies from half a mile away with your bat-like Yorkshire hearing.
3
😀😀😀
The York Judea peoples front!!
Alright Foxy?👍👍
2
hist whist
little ghostthings
tip-toe
twinkle-toe
little twitchy
witches and tingling
goblins
hob-a-nob hob-a-nob
little hoppy happy
toad in tweeds
tweeds
little itchy mousies
with scuttling
eyes rustle and run and
hidehidehide
whisk
whisk look out for the old woman
with the wart on her nose
what she’ll do to yer
nobody knows
for she knows the devil ooch
the devil ouch
the devil
ach the great
green
dancing
devil
devil
devil
devil
wheeEEE
E.E. Cummings
3
I didn’t realise what racist piece of shit E.E. Cummings was and a supporter of Joseph McCarthy (he of the witch hunts).
1
I didn’t even read what the nomination said. All I will say to the nominator is FUCK YOU!
How DARE you nominate her! She is under very stressful conditions at the moment with the legal challenge between my Dad & I as to whose future wife she will be (hint…… it’s me because I’m 38 and my Dad is 70 with a ducky ticker).
Granted she is low down on my list of Jew-wives after Gal Gadot, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Lisa Edelstein, Claudia Black etc………….. okay I dig Jewish women! Sorry, not sorry.
5
And, presumably, Dorian from “Birds of a Feather”, TITS?!
https://images.app.goo.gl/bft4PnvyiTjg3KbG6
3
And Amy whinehouse?
3
Bloody hell Claudia Black. I’d completely forgotten about her. I fancied her when she was in Farscape.
Bit of an unusual choice for me. There was something sort of masculine about her in a way.
5
@Harold Steptoe It was the voice. She had a very husky, raspy voice………. like a lot of Jewish women. I dig Jewish women and women with husky voices so I guess she was part of my penis venn diagram.
Incidentally though, I did check Claudia Black’s instagram profile in the last 4 years and SURPRISE!!!!!…….. she’s a fucking lefty cunt. 🙁
3
What the fuck are you on about?
6
You what Mate?
1
Johansscunt’s mother is of Jewish descent through her grandmother. And Skank Jo uses the Jewish card simply for virtue signalling purposes when she sees fit. Natalie Portmouth also uses the same card and family connections to grease her way through Hollywood. Pair of cunts.
Jewish ladies? My choices would be Kat Dennings, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Eva Green, and Goldie Hawn in her Laugh-In prime
3
I’m glad to see that we both have a preference for females of the beaky bacon-dodging persuasion. We may be bigoted but our cocks most certainly are NOT!
3
Too true. Wank without prejudice is what I say.
5
I didn’t know Eva Green was Jewish. Nigella Lawson was pretty tasty 10-15 years back. Rachel Weiss is another who was superb in her prime, though she doesn’t look too bad these days either.
2
Oh shit I forgot about Rachel Weisz! Fit, husky voice and very under rated.
1
Anna Freud, Victoria Cohen, Nigella Lawson…
1
Looking at the pic in the nom if it arrived via post id send it fucking back!itd frighten the fucking bejesus out of most
2
Agreed, Anne. Winkleman looks weird to me. Always has done.
Like a Furby in a Beatle wig.
7
I’d fire one into her.
2
Like a Furby in a Beatle Wig.
Fucking hell I laughed at that one.
3
And yet she still gives me a/the twitch.
2
I’d been expecting a mail order bride but I was out the day she was delivered, so now she’s married to my neighbour….
8
And I missed the big lottery win last week by two numbers.
My neighbour won it.
2
@Anne Frank Back in the post or back to the work camp? Just remember! ………… she could have been your mother, or grandmother……… and the rest!
1
Claudia Winklemans too young to be his grandmother?
2
It was a joke Dude. The guy’s ISAC handle is Anne Frank. Do the Math(s)
1
Oh shit I just realised that I may have misconstrued the context……….. I assumed that he was implying she looked old and ropey as fuck (which she does, but I still would coz jewgina).
1
Post!not workcamp /i got standards aint going on bout ww2 an workcamps no fucking way thatd be bang out of order/as history dictates always someone watching/teking notes of all fucks up hence why i chose the name btw
3
@Quick Draw McGraw I just read your nom end-to-end and it is definitely worthy, however I still take issue with you denegrating one of my future yid-wives!
How very dare you my friend!
2
I didn’t know her Mum was Eve Pollard. Now there was a right filthy whore back in the day. Blow jobs and tit wanks were how she made her way in Fleet Street.
#metoo
3
Breaking news: All football matches, this weekend, are going to ‘Take The Knee’ and Diversity are going to do a dance for murdered, (genuinely, in this case), Met. Police Sgt Matt Ratana.
Oh, no they’re not….
RIP fellow ‘blue-lighter’.
7
They have already said he was autistic before they even mention the cunt gunman’s name. Of Sri Lankan origin apparently. It’s a strength don’t you know….
2
X2.
The BAME Broadcasting Cuntfest avoided mentioning the sensitive qestion of where the cunt was from, but said the shooter had been handcuffed, ffs. Someone slipped up badly there.
4
Looks like a fucking Troll ( cave dwelling type, not internet ).
Talentless.
Grossly overpaid.
Irrelevant.
Irritating.
But harmless.
Get To Fuck.
You scruffy bint.
6