The Beckhams (2)

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My niece left a copy of “Harper´s Bazaar” magazine around and I spent a couple of hours reading it in an orgy of masochism. It had Victoria Beckham on the cover plus about 30 pictures of her inside.

I could not resist sharing this touching insight into the Beckham´s love nest so ISACers can have an idea of domestic bliss and enduring passion.

Victoria´s idea of a treat is: “..dinner with my husband, in London, with a really nice bottle of wine, just the two of us. Date night, I suppose! I always laugh about ‘date night’ because we´ve been together for 23 years but we really enjoy each other´s company. David loves wine; I don´t know an enormous amount about it but I´m educating myself. I was never into nice wine and art before but I´m enjoying learning.”

Pity the poor fly on the wall eavesdropping on the Beckham´s discussions on wine and art. After Ron Knee has finished his Meghan and Harry epic, I hope he will turn his talents to chronicling the goings-on of Vicky and Dave.

Nominated by: Mr Polly 

49 thoughts on “The Beckhams (2)”

  1. I would still bang this spunktrumpet every which way but loose. Then do her again and again.
    Not bothered by fake titties or Botox-I fucking hated the Spice Gurls music, so would take it out on her mouth, arse and pussy.
    David might have golden balls-she would experience my iron cock.
    Fuck yeah!!!
    😀😀😀

  2. I thought ‘date night’ for this creosoted pipe cleaner would be leaving David with a jigsaw puzzle and a spill-proof cup of Vimto while she compares shades of orange watching ‘Real Wives of Cheshire’ in the bath.

    • Geniuses at play,
      David and twiglet discussing art & wine? 😁😁
      Looking at the wrapper for maynards wine gums isnt a discussion of fine art and wine.
      And Dinner for posh spice musnt take long?
      Mostly spent in the bogs with her fingers down her throat.

    • Think a jigsaw is a bit of a stretch. He’ll have one of those hollow plastic football shaped things with the different shaped holes to push cubes, cylinders, and triangles through.

      He’ll complete it one day I’m sure.

  3. David needs the wine to help the mood when sticky Vicky starts waving the ham sandwich at him and the fly on the wall has been atracted by the fishy wiff eminating from stickys steamy snatch……open another bottle Dave your gonna need those beer goggles mate, maybe some glade and a smear of mustard will help….

  4. Mr. Knee’s Markling of the Cunts was truly epic. I can only imagine one on the Dickhams would be equally so.

    For some monumental comic revulsion, imagine Mr. Knee recreating the Markles and the Dickhams having a sustainable, vegan dinner together and discussing…anything.

    We can only hope. 😂

    • Evening General.

      If Ron could stand to educate himself on the Kardashian clan, there is a whole wealth of weirdness, narcissism and egos to untap for months on end.

  5. I forgot to get a pussy mention into that, theres two cats in the picture, they must think someones opened a can of Whiskers, i can only imagine their disappointment when they realize its Vicky spreading again…..ffs vicky open a window…

  7. As leftie bell end Frankie Boyle once observed, “fucking her would be like trying to separate deck chairs with your dick”!

    • Agreed.
      Mr Polly “spent a couple of hours reading it”.
      Magazine, silk dressing gown, chaise longue,
      Swooning?😁

      • I had the time of my life reading about Harper´s annual Women of the Year Awards ceremony held at Claridges, described as a “joyous celebration of inspirational female role models.”

        I bet you all wish you had been there that night within groping distance of Cate Blanchett, Samantha Cameron, Helena Bonham Carter, Rosie Huffington-Whitely, Sceherezade Goldsmith, Sophie Dahl and various other bangable and non-bangable rich bitches

        Read on and see what you missed. ”A dazzling array of stars from film, philanthropy, art, fashion and literature descended upon the elegant Mayfair hotel, many dropped off in style in She´s Mercedes cars. Following a Laurent-Perrier Champagne reception, everyone made their way to dinner, some dropping in at Armani´s beauty pop-up powder-rooms for a spritz of perfume on route. In the gleaming Ballroom, a feast of salt-baked beetroot followed by Cornish sea-bass was served at candlelit tables adorned with snow-white roses and hydrangeas from Flowebx.”

        Wonder what “salt-baked beetroot” tastes like. Maybe Cate will tell me the next time we meet.

      • That Cornish Bass will have been sourced via Rick Stein’s Padstow seafood racket, and his chefs will have added lots of their own ‘cream sauce’.

      • Pass me that bucket. Quick – breakfast on the way up!

        PS Anyone notice Alexander Dumas had turned a fetching shade of medium brown in the recent google cartoon to celebrate his birth? OMG – anyone with aspirations of remaining on the bookshelves (or anywhere else in this culturally demanding world) must undergo a colour makeover.

  10. “Posh Spice” That’s a fucking laugh.
    I’ve seen posher birds than her on the checkout in Lidl.

  12. I despise this family with every fibre of my being. Plastic pop tart and a thick as pigshit footballer pumping out lookalike brats to fill tattle mags and social media with their pointless existence. Tattoo covered maggots, holidaying with other despicable nonentities like pockfaced shit stick cocksucker Gordon Ramsey and his stable of cunts. I only watch the news in case a plane carrying these twats has crashed with no survivors.

    • ISIS would still be a going concern if they asked for donations and volunteers on the promise to exterminate these vapid cunts and other libtard social media luvvie mongs. One can but dream, no Markles, Banksy, Lilly Mong, fat Reg, Hollywood, Emma Thompson etcetera. I’d be singing the praises of space lobster Admiral Ackbar every day.

  13. I should think a bottle of Lidl white cider would fulfill Dave and Vicky’s ambitions where wine is concerned.

    • I imagine Posh squirts vinegar out of one of those little plastic sachets, whilst David just sucks the alcohol content from the baby-wipes he still has to use.

    • There is a wine shop around my way which had a sign outside saying they had, I think, a Beaujolais in stock at £1,400 a bottle. Critic’s comments ‘A nice drop – Victoria Beckham.’

  14. Both creatures in the above photo were asked to demonstrate how to achieve that position without farting, or following through. The subtle positioning of the cat’s picture is a clue as to which of them succeeded…

    • The cat’s flexible enough to lick its own crack and arsehole. Why do stretch exercises when you have someone who’ll do it for you?

  15. She was certainly doable in her younger days and probably would be now if she put on 2-3 stone.

    Whilst they may be annoying, there are far more objectionable cunts on the celeb scene. Beyoncé and hubby, the Markles and the Carcrashians for instance.

  16. Some of the comments on here are comedy gold.

    I was given a “gift” one Christmas of David’s aftershave and deodorant from a relative.

    Poured it down the drain. It smelt like late 80’s dad aftershave.

    I thought about putting it in the charity box for it go to some homeless people. Then changed my mind.

    Their lives are bad enough as it is without me inflicting that fucking rank shite on them.

    • Harold, homeless people drink aftershave not wear it!
      True.
      And that strong handwash in hospitals too.

      • Some of them drink mouthwash as well MNC.

        Sad way to live your life.
        Seen one or two of them in my time that looked about 19. Upsets me a bit if I’m honest. Sad that’s their life at 19 years old.

      • Worked in a homeless help centre for awhile Harold, helping get them rehoused.
        I was more optimistic back then😜
        Pretty grim sights.

      • Its going to get worse in a couple of months I think MNC. When the eviction ban is lifted.

        This time it’s likely to be just everyday people that have been made redundant.

        It’s a c*nt.

      • Wait till the big depression comes Harold!
        ISAC will double as a soup kitchen and admins selling their golf clubs and we’ll all be on mouthwash spritzers at the weekends.😁

      • Harold, if people are evicted, celebrities should put them up in their many houses until they get back on their feet.

        But do celebrities actually own their homes? The mansions of popstars are probably owned by big record companies. It’s probably just for show.

        Celebrity is all a load of bullocks to me.

  19. Once met this horrendous creature in the Old Trafford player’s lounge. Deliberately ignored people who tried to speak to her and acted like she was God’s gift. A truly revolting human being and David pathetically did everything she said and followed her around like a dog. She was hated by everyone at United and a good player and a nice but not very bright lad was ruined for life when he hooked up with the narcissistic skeletal cunt.

    • You are correct good sir, the lady in question’s other claim to fame was giving a prize boar a hand job as the task she had been given In the show involved collecting pig semen for use in artificial insemination, mind she was assisted by a technician. The boar in question had a good time, the technician was happy and the young lady faded from history. Sure the wife of our David has a voodoo doll with hat pins through it’s eyes that has a passing resemblance to the pig wanker. I read at the time that old spice had when questioned about our David’s fidelity replied “ why eat burgers when you have steak at home” As their is more meat on a small kipper I oft wondered who she meant
      The performer with the pig was Rebecca Loos I think

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