Logistics & Solutions

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Yes, I know there are far weightier matters that should, and are, occupying this noble band of cunters. However I would crave indulgence to consider what many would view as an irrelevance but boils my piss every time I see it.

It is this, at one time in the not so distance past one would see a Heavy Goods Vehicle nicely got up in the livery of its owner or operator and proudly displaying the name of said outfit. Something along the lines of “J & J Blogs Transport Ltd”.

That says it all really, but no! That has somehow evolved into “J & J Blogs Logistics Ltd” or “J & J Blogs Supply Chain Solutions Ltd”

Saw a bugger on the M6 that claimed to be “Delivering Sustainable Supply Chain Solutions”.

I spent the last decade of my working life in industry implementing ISO quality standards and continuous improvement I quickly learned you don’t improve things by calling it a fancy name!

So no, you are not “Delivering Sustainable Supply Chain Solutions”. You are carting stuff around on the back of a lorry.

Cunts!

Nominated by: Creedence Clearwater Cunt 

47 thoughts on “Logistics & Solutions”

  1. SERCO….. need I say any more ? Mightie. G4s

    All will solve your bulging wallet at a stroke.

  3. I’ve noticed a lot of trucks have a notice on the back saying “this vehicle is fitted with image recording technology”
    That’ll be a camera then I expect!
    Call a spade a spade for fuck’s sake.
    And while I’m at it let’s call bin men “binmen” and not “refuse collection operatives”

    • “Heard about Mike? He got bummed of some binmen.”
      Geoff Tibbs
      League of Gentlemen

    • Think you’ll find the ‘image recording technology’ in the truck is actually the 200-plus asphyxiating illegals depicting their final moments using their own fecal matter.

  4. English Channel Travelling Solutions
    Jígaboo Benefit Facilitators
    Radiator-Chained Comfort Women Logistics

  5. Logistics is a cuntish expression for moving random shit about, so simple even a kaffir could do it without fucking up, utter overhyped cunts!

    • Im in logistics and I cant even spell it without auto-spell!
      Its a funny old world… 🌎

  6. Adult industry sanitary operative.
    Translation:
    Jizz mopper.

    We are all winners in the new woke age of Aquarius 😂

  7. In my experience delivery cunts don’t knock and just chuck a ‘We tried to deliver your item but you were not home’ card through the letterbox, sorry…’compact delivery receptacle’.

    Supply chain logistical solutions?

    ‘Fuck the delivery just leggit cunts’ more like.

  8. They used to stick people in the office with some made up job title that never existed, but to justify it put technician, or associate, or some such shit at the end.
    It’s a thinly veiled pseudonym meaning, ‘This is a directors nephew’, or ‘This woman gives good head’, and more recently, ‘This is the son of my Eastern coke supplier’.

  9. It’s the same in other industries too. Call a job something slightly different to make it sound more than it is. Take IT for example. The cunts who write software are generally, in my 30 years of exposure to them, monkey brained fuckwits who don’t give a crap about efficiency, system/integration testing or documentation.

    Back in the good old days they were called coders. Then programmers. Then Analyst/Programmers. Then Developers. Hell, some even call themselves Software Engineers, despite not having a fucking clue about engineering principles or taking a scientific approach to anything. Hack, hack, hack some code until it seems to work under a very specific (read: narrow) set of conditions, pat yourself on the back, move on. That’s their mantra. Cunts.

    It’s all spin and marketing.

    Watch out for my expose on Software Developers coming to ISAC soon.

    • Microsoft “Developers” need a swift boot in the bollocks for anything they lay their 6-fingered hands on!

      Windows 10 – Shite
      Windows 8.1 – bag of wank
      Windows 8 – an abomination of Flabbott proportions
      Windows 7 – They actually got it right for once!
      Windows Vista – What the Fuckity Fuck were they playing at?
      Windows XP – Decent albeit a little buggy
      Windows ME – a festering turd
      Windows 2000 – Welcome to the Stone Age again
      Windows 98 – Buggy behind belief (although SE, was okay-ish)
      Windows 95 – Great concept but was about as stable as 10 fat politicians squashed in a telephone box!

      And don’t get me started on their server side shite!

      Stupid cunts and their badly thought out “solutions”

      • Their server operating systems? Hahahahaha.

        Any OS which doesn’t have a native scripting language is dog shit by definition. DOS batch files don’t count and neither does Powershell – too little too late.

        Let’s not forget it was the same cunts who coded that stupid fucking talking paperclip in Word. Uber cunts.

      • And yet despite all that it still made Bill a multi-billionaire!

        Cunt (not that I’m jealous of course)

      • Yep, stealing Apple’s GUI idea and turning it into Windoze has made him very wealthy.

        I think most of us would like to be better off than we are financially, but I must say I’m not jealous of cunts like Gates who are billionaires a few times over. When you have that much wealth, everything that can be purchased loses its value. I don’t think I’d like to live in a world where Aston Martins have no value. Or lavish mansions. Or private jets. Etc. I’d imagine life could feel quite empty and pointless if you had so much money you could never ever spend it in your life time.

      • Agree with Technocunt about Windows 10 and 7.
        if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. 7 was fine, 10 is absolute cack.

  10. Spot on CCC.

    The only thing society reliably delivers today is a Sustainable Supply of Cunts.

  12. Hello ma’am, I’m your electrical fault anynalysis, diagnosis and rectification, installation improvement consulting, preemptive maintenance technician and installation condition assement coordination engineer…..
    ‘What?’
    ….sparky….
    ‘Oh, come in. And stop speaking like a cunt’.

  13. Reminds of a video starring Al Murray in concert, taking the piss out of some poor old punter in the front row.

    Murray asks him “What do you do, mate?”
    Punter “Logistics”
    “Fucking hell, narrow it down a bit mate. When I buy a bottle of milk down the local shop, that’s fucking logistics!”
    “I work in Food Distribution” replies the mug
    “In other words, you work in a fucking warehouse!”

    Classic

  15. A solid cunting. This has irritated me for years. Her indoors has to listen to me ranting when I see this shite written all over the fucking lorries. How fucking hard can it be? Pick stuff up, move it somewhere else and come back, preferably with another load of stuff. Child’s play made to look difficult by cunts to try to bullshit us.

  16. Solutions…oh fuck, yes. Any cunt with a business claiming to do anything now has to have “Solutions” in the title. Any business which doesn’t involve dissolving something in a liquid, that is. Game:

    Guess what is *solved* here:
    The ARC competition’s winning design is only one example of the innovation needed for new solutions for (xxxxxxxxxx). The HNTB+MVVA scheme uses ordinary materials and technology as well as construction techniques that are well established and, in particular, accessible in many locations across the continent. This has significant potential to reduce construction costs and improve construction accessibility. This solution combines emphases on xxxxxxxxxxxx and viability, with a practical intelligence and concern for long-term sustainability. The ARC jury noted in particular that this scheme “marries well a simple elegance with a brute force. It effectively recasts ordinary materials and methods of construction into a potentially transcendent work of design. In this regard it gives us confidence that it could be credibly imagined as a regional infrastructure across the inter‐mountain west”

    Helpful clues replaced by xxxx…. to illustrate the ready association between corporate bollocks and solutions.

  17. Affordable Care Act comes to mind here in the States. This starts another conversation about shit that is named the exact OPPOSITE of what it actually is. Go…

    • TT

      It’s right out of Ayn Rand. “Obama Care” (as the ACA is colloquially) known) should be called The Bullshitable Care Act…as the name Obama is synonymous with Bullshit.

      • Evening General.

        Congratulations – I see you got your emojis back. Or at least one of them…. 😄

      • Hey Ruff,

        Some of them are back. For some reason they disappeared in my system. I had a hell of a time trying to restore them and had to do a kind of system reset and re-enable them. However, that only restored some of them. Still working on the rest.

        💻 🖱️

      • Oh shit I forgot.

        Of course I recognize Patrick McGoohan. Perhaps my error was assuming Danger Man rather than The Prisoner. (both of which are in syndicated rerun on American TV.)

        My reference to NATO was from the opening sequence of Danger Man.

        “Every government has it’s secret service branch. America, CIA; France, Deuxieme Bureau; England, MI5. NATO also has it’s own. A messy job? That’s when they usually call on me or someone like me. Oh yes, my name is Drake, John Drake.”

        So, sorry I was wrong but glad you escaped The Village. 😁

      • You’re not altogether wrong General.

        After all, it was John Drake who was kidnapped in the opening sequence of The Prisoner and became Number 6.

        Patrick McGoohan dreamt up the idea of The Prisoner while filming of an episode of Danger Man set in Portmeirion (The Village).

      • Ruff,

        I have read that McGoohan denied Drake was Number 6 (even though he did create The Prisoner).

        I have also read that the producers of The Prisoner said Drake was Number 6.

        Among us cult followers of both shows here in the states it is a highly debatable controversy.

      • Hard for McGoohan to deny Drake wasn’t No.6, considering Drake’s photograph is seen as part of the resignation sequence during the opening credits, which I’m sure you’re familiar with but here it is again for the pleasure of anyone who is not.

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xzBpAD2XwLo

        Be seeing you. 😉

    • As far as I’m concerned, that cunt Obama owes me $3K.

      I had that much in my Health Savings Account (HSA) when that prick forced through his healthcare bullshit, making it mandatory to buy health insurance or be fined. I wasn’t working for much of this period so had to use my HSA funds to buy fucking health insurance I didn’t want and didn’t need as it turned out because I had no health issues.

      Meanwhile, my health insurance tax was being used to help subsidise cunts who were means tested out of having to buy their own. I’m sorry, but I wasn’t put on this earth to pay for someone else’s health insurance. If you get sick, sorry and all that, but it’s YOUR fucking problem, NOT mine!

      Given the healthcare providers are private companies, you can regulate and legislate all you like but you cannot make them provide healthcare and you cannot dictate what their premiums should be. Unsurprisingly, many Americans lost their health coverage because their insurer cancelled their coverage or priced them out of coverage. How the fuckity fuck did the genius who dreamed up this shit not see that coming?

      Utter, utter cunts!

      • Send the Community Cocksucker a bill. He and Moochele can afford it.

  18. After a year of hard work and a positive annual review I was given a new job title but no pay rise. They couldn’t understand my lack of gratitude and weren’t at all happy when I left shortly afterwards. For weeks afterwards they would ring me at home to ask me to explain some of the stuff I had been working on, and being told to fuck off didn’t make them happy either. They couldn’t even blackmail me with references as the company I had secured a new job with never took references from the previous company for that very reason, very enlightened they were.

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