Wireless Four ran an item on the type of city-dwelling, middle class cunt who, during lock down, discovered that legs are for walking, found that air doesn’t need to taste of diesel and (although they won’t admit it) there are fewer aspirant architects. So, the item went, these cunts are now searching for properties in the countryside where they will combine home working with long country walks and bike rides.
These cunts, mostly “professional” millennials, are deluded. If your company has informed you that you can work from home in perpetuity, it’s probably an indication that your P45 is imminent.
Unless you can genuinely work remotely (our Techno springs to mind), home working doesn’t work. The stilted, b-r-ok-en video conferencing of Zoom or Teams cannot replace face-to-face interaction and the intrusion of poorly disciplined pets/children isn’t funny – it’s unprofessional. Documents need printing and filing SECURELY. We need that office interaction that makes the world go round – the banter, the innovating, the bitching n gossiping and the laughter that makes a job worthwhile. So, I say again, your P45 is probably imminent.
If the P45 doesn’t arrive in time, you cunts will stop the church bells ringing, prevent the Morris Dancers blacking up, ban the local hunt/shoot, change the pub menu to vegan, push up house prices and ruin the Parish Council before finely fleeing back to the city muttering about “poor broadband” or “backward yokels”.
Heed my warning, middle class cunts. Better buy a VW camper van and experience the countryside in small doses. For rural dwellers like myself, we’ll be glad to see ye back, but please read the Countryside Code first. Or, better still, don’t fucking bother.
Nominated by: Sgt Maj Cunt
Two work from home types in my house (mrs & daughter)
They get underfoot should be back in work now.
The whole country should be back at work.
Those professionals relocating to rural Northumberland are in for a culture shock!
Hope they can peddle fast over rough terrain!😁
21
“ban the local hunt/shoot, change the pub menu to vegan, push up house prices and ruin the Parish Council before finely fleeing back to the city muttering about “poor broadband” or “backward yokels”.”….
I bet a certain Poster has just got the ‘orn…he’s probably away out brambling this morning ( I always piss on any bramble bush I see growing in the hedges just in the hope that some thieving Cunt is tempted to pick them.)
18
“and reduce speed limits on our roads to make it safe for cyclists and pedestrians” – fuck off cunts
15
Living where I do, we are out of reach of city cunts mostly. Except me of course. I used to commute into darkest Yorkshire. (The horror, the horror)
Round here we are mostly cuntry cunts. No Jemimas, Tristrams or effniks. Vegans are hunted with dogs.
18
All these cunts working form home will be able to take a pay cut, no travel expenses…. I bet that would change their minds about ‘working from home’.
The vast majority of people have to get up and go into work, this home working is only for people working in ‘customer service’ and ‘office worker’ types.
Fuck them!
17
The next logical step for a “home worker” is to be replaced with a cheaper Indian “home worker”. It’s all part of the plan my friends. And how long do you think insurance companies will not be charging you to cover an office at home. Fuck me, employers are laughing all the way to their excessive profits. Cunts.
17
Spot on. Get rid of expensive large offices. Outsource work to 3rd world. No employment rights, minimum wage or troublesome pension and NI contributions
We have seen it in other areas. Coming to an office task near you.
9
Lots of things will change,
Running things on lockdown will give the moneychasers in business ideas!
Eye openers as to how they can claw back profits, and with a tsunami of a depression heading this way theyll be fuckin ruthless.
That pale mong in number 10 wont get re elected.
Hes done fuck all
14
The next step is to replace workers with ai robots. Microsoft replaced a bunch of lawyers with robots, also there’s a hotel in Japan run by robots.
Robots don’t strike and they don’t need a pension or a salary.
7
I have the chance to pretend to work from home then I fucking will do.
I’ve been training the rabbit to press keys and move the computer mouse about while I sit in the garden annoying the cunt neighbours.
Fuck It.
16
Uncle Terry@
Rabbit?
I assumed youd have a doberman warms itself next to the oven!
Please tell me the rabbit has a name like Himmler?!!😁
10
Thugs bunny!!😁😁👍
16
Rommel the rabbit.
Perfect for Blitzkrieg.
5
Word to the wise – If you can work from home then some cunt in India can also do your work remotely from home and at about a tenth of the cost. Don’t believe me ask all the cunts who worked in call centres in the 1990’s (one of them was me). Sorry son, your work is now being done by Jamal.
One other thing after two years of isolation working from home with little or no other social contact please don’t whinge that your mental health is going.
18
Very true, the bottom line is all that matters. Loyalty, job satisfaction, caring bosses my arse. If money can be saved money will be saved and where better to save the money than that burgeoning economy India. Hundreds of willing workers for next to fuck all and most speaking better English than many so called English residents. The writing on the wall is there to see (89 languages) read remember and weep.
9
I’m self-employed and work from home and have done for nearly 20 years now. It has it’s advantages, but there are bits I miss about working in an office environment.
The banter, the Friday evenings in a pub, and the girls in tight skirts and blouses. Reckon I must have had the delights of about 10 women/girls in my prime. Of course now I’d just be a dirty old man.
However, at least I don’t have some cunt telling me what to do. The kids can be off putting, but at least I get to see them and play a part in their lives.
14
I’m quite happy with WfH, and have been ever since taking the self-employed route 3 years ago. But then working in IT gives me plenty of opportunity to either work remotely or go to customer site, the latter of which I really appreciate because the novelty of WfH can wear a bit thin after 2 or 3 weeks – especially here in the remote parts of the Lake District.
I think WfH will be a permanent feature for some industries, not least for all the hassle of not commuting any more; that and saving a fortune on travel expenses. And is it any wonder the train operators are shitting themselves now that they’ve seen revenues collapse since the Dink virus kicked in 5 months ago.
Cunts
17
The train operators are shitting themselves so much at the thought of reduced income, that they have increased the fares by 1.6% this year.
Thats a brilliant financial strategy right there.
If nobody wants to buy your already insanely expensive and shoddily run service, just increase the price.
That’ll get them home workers enticed back to the office.
Um, won’t it?
(It also demonstrates what a complete farce the £105bn+ HS2 white elephant will be when no one actually uses it. – Day Admin)
13
I hear it is another £1.1Bn over budget and another year late.
Absolute bargain!
Similarly with London’s Crossrail project- currently overbudget at £19bn and 3 years late. But no doubt the bosses will get some big fucking bonus for being shit at their jobs – Admin)
7
Working from home…what a pile of cunt.
I guess most of these office type cunts need to get away from the nagging fat cunt Mrs and noisy kids.
How are meant to be productive when you have the opportunity to give the Mrs a quick tonguing, or get on X hamster?
I’ve never had an office job and thank God for that as it seems it’s full of wannabe wankers and the ‘Lads’ with their shite banter and cake eating fat Karen types…fuck that.
So I guess your doomed if you work from home or in an office.
How much of the working population actually work on an office type job anyways?
What abaaaaaht factory workers, mechanics etc they won’t be working from home.
If it means the trains/buses are less busy then that’s a positive…not that you’ll find me on them… I’m quite happy in my Audi.
Vorsprung go fuck yourselves.
12
I for one applaud your choice of twatpanzer, B&W.
As a mechanical engineer, it is rather difficult for me to just ‘phone it in’ from home. If a pipe needs strangling, or a spanner needs swinging, I kind of need to be there to do it in person.
Fortunately, I have a private parking space at work and can do Kensington to Chelsea in 8 minutes in my sporty little Italian number and can often be seen making obscene hand gestures towards the plebs on the C3 scumshovel as I overtake them.
They love it. It reminds them who is in charge. 😁
6
That’s right OB, too many cunts on the road forgetting their place.
I was quite proud of my journey in the motorway today…I managed to get some cunt doing a qanker sign at me and then clapping me when I sprayed my window sprays whilst he was behind. Isn’t the Kensington and Chelsea permit the best eh? Park in the whole borough, even aaahtside Harrods. 👍🏽
1
For some reason, I thought Harrods was in Westminster B&W.
The RBKC resident’s permit is seriously handy, although I have a private parking space to keep the motor off the street and away from shitty parking and vandalism.
2
I heard abaaaaaht some cunt ‘working from home’ who was actually on a beach somewhere.
I salute you and I am sure you were being very productive.
What a load of shite.
6
the problem is that most work-from-home types are also the ones saying schools should remain closed and we should have weekly lockdowns to stay safe – its all bollocks of course, these people see the joke pandemic as a means of revolution to bring in their anti capitalist ways, to deny individuality and make everyone the same – frankly, i’m sick of them and wish we could just get rid of them – mask wearing cunts who are arrogant and think they are invincible – shoot the lot of them
6
I don’t wear a mask in any shops and nobody says anything to me abaaaaaht it.
How can I sit in a pub all day without a mask on yet I have to wear one in a supermarket?
Why don’t some of the supermarket staff wear them?
This is a total joke of a situation and they can fuck off.
People are too easily falling into line and obeying this overreaction.
The cunts.
11
Agreed B&W.
I refuse to wear a muzzle in shops on medical grounds.
My local supermarket has a cafe at the entrance where nobody wears a muzzle. Yet to get into the supermarket you have to walk through the cafe, wearing a muzzle.
How does that work then?
4
It’s all bollocks OB, for 2 months+ we didn’t have to wear a mask…now we have to…but not in pub’s. Also most of the supermarket staff have not worn them since this pile of cunt began.
Was driving down Holland Park Avenue earlier and the social distancing was an absolute joke and a restaurant near me had what looked like way too many wankers eating too close together.
3
I’m certain that there’s a few who think working from home much more will be great. As others have said, if you can work remotely all the time, there’s a good chance your job will be off to India.
For those who may have to go into the office once a week or so, expect salary cuts when your company no longer has to cover the train fare. Also may have implications when they want to move home/remortgage and the £10k a year London supplement has been removed.
7
All of this working from home is adding another massive dependence on the internet.
The future is looking shit, too much reliance on the internet… appliances, customer services etc all going online…even the motorway’s.
All to save money and make money for businesses.
I love and hate the internet, and the day you can virtually tongue a ladies bumhole is the day I retire.
Go fuck yourselves.
6
You noticed all the phone companies and internet providers constantly going on about ‘teams’ in adverts? Mostly look like lazy teachers who get too much time off as it is and office based wankers working in recruitment or consultancy bollocks. They probably hate the guts of each other with office politics and bitching but now they are a team, bravely working from home in their dressing gown.
6
I agree LL, it’s also the Bank adverts that piss me off…all these cunts waffling on abaaaaht ‘We are here to help you’ etc.
What a load of lying cunts…’We are still here to rip you off and give you no interest on your money’ more like.
The cunts.
11
It only needs for ‘Howard from the Halifax’ to come out of retirement with a ditty for the times.
6
My theory is that Covid was invented by fucking Gates.
Teams (and Zoom, and Slack) are bandwidth hogs par excellence, and putting everything Microsucks does in the cloud means you have to download Excel every time you use it instead of having it ready on your box. More bandwidth, and for overkill shit you almost certainly don’t need.
Plus don’t get me started on Google and its omnipresence in anything with an Android OS.
Cunts.
Awaiting the monetisation of fresh air for breathing.
9
Good to hear from you Komodo, and agreed… especially regarding Google and Android. The cunts.
4
There is one group of the work from home cunts who don’t have to worry, and that’s the useless cunts who work for local government. They can be just as pointless and inefficient at home with a laptop as they are at an office, and have a tidy wage and pension.
There must be quite a few people who have realised how pointless their existence is, as the world has pretty much carried on without their participation for the last 260 days.
10
Local Govt. Officers tend to be petty officious little Nobodies who wouldn’t last 5 minutes in the Private Sector…most dawdle their time away waiting for their pension. One good thing about the Country going bankrupt is that these “bomb-proof” pensions will hopefully become unsustainable.
Paper-shuffling busybodies.
8
Totally agree Sir Fiddler-being an Arborist, you must have to deal with planning officers and the biggest cunts in officialdom the tree officer.
Take your TPO and shove it right up your arse. Cunts.
6
Some tree officers have no real experience..think that having a forestry Degree means that they are experts…there’s a hell of a difference between sitting in a classroom and actually knowing about your job.
5
Have dealt with plenty of officials who have absolutely zero real life experience.
Tree officers probably volunteer as traffic enforcement officers at weekends.
Cunts
4
Only today, I received an email from someone I didn’t know.
Now, you’ve always got to be careful opening emails from someone you don’t know.
The title of the email said “knock knock”. Curiosity overcame me so I opened it only to find it was from a fuckin’ Jehova’s Witness working from home!
19
I converted my dining room into an office as I’ve been working from home since the lockdown began but the other morning I woke up feeling quite ill and couldn’t get out of bed, so had to use my mobile phone to call my landline to tell myself I wouldn’t be coming in today….
11
When the lockdown started all sorts of cunts were ambling round the local lanes and fields, where I have always walked regularly, and it was impossible to do a circuit without meeting several. I was afraid the continuing hot weather would encourage them further, but they lost interest and it tapered off about three weeks into lockdown, It is now again possible to walk miles without meeting more than the odd dog walker or horseperson.
7
The polite term is ‘centaur’ Komodo.
7
The jobs won’t go to India unless the role requires only <50 IQ and the english language competency of a dim 8 year old. We have an Indian based team in our business, they can fill in the gaps but the quality of work is an order of magnitude less.
WfH great. More time, more energy, more money, no dress code, no dreary politically correct conversation. Fuck that.
I'm changing careers into IT/software eng. as a result of all this. Fuck offices.
3
My experience of call centres, both as customer and employee, is that handlers are trained to follow the script. They are expected to solve any problems a customer may have without having any authority to make a decision. Decision making is left to the <50 IQ management who use the handler as a go between, thus isolating themselves from possible hassle and fucking the handler's KPI's. The main problem with Indian call centres is the accent. I have the dubious advantage of having spent most of my life in Leicester so it doesn't usually affect me but I have had people saying they haven't a fucking clue what the handler saying. Oddly enough, although I once worked for an Eire company I don't half have problems with the Sky/Now Irish call centre.
1
TT Moggie@ – I used to run call centres, the first thing the monkeys (they will hire ANYBODY and as the security and CRB checks can take up to six Months some of our peaceful friends work there for a while before their “interesting history” is exposed) get is a script they HAVE to stick to as they are generally very stupid people, they are also told to use the passive aggressive behaviour pattern – call you by your first name to establish dominance and own the call. The customer in never, ever the focus – the focus is following the script, not listening to a fucking word the customers say and giving them what the company tells the operator to give them, not good service. A good way of getting decent service is to casually let them know after they give you the “all calls are recorded” etc bullshit that you are are also recording the call – if they slaver at you for doing it they are dodgy – no decent operator minds you recording the call.
I work from home now as I am self employed – no more four hour train commutes to listen to shit from 20 Year old p*kis for the Fox!
5
The Internet loves to describe ‘work’ as what twats who until March in 2020 did in offices.
Anyone who ‘works’ from home is largely doing bollocks.
In my world, “work” involves getting down and dirty and physical.
People who sit in offices exchanging emails and attending pointless meetings is not ‘work’.
FUCK FUCK FUCK the societal brainwashing that has tried to convince us that ‘work’ involves being on a device doing ‘stuff’.
WORK is getting your hands dirty. SJWs, students and trans-whatever POOFS need not apply.
6
In offices the managers are always the problem – lazy, thick, arrogant people who usually have some friend or relative who has given them undeserved promotion – or in the classic female situation remove clothing for progression.
The minority of decent ones usually get the knowledge and lie of the land business wise then go self employed doing the same job better for three times the money.
Managers are cunts (I worked in management long enough to work this out) and 80% of them could be sacked tomorrow with no detriment to efficiency.
8
Love working from home but I’m not a Johnny-come-lately, oh no, I’ve been doing it for twenty years, way before remote and mobile technology even existed. Every five years my company gives me a £500 budget to kit out my home office (furniture not IT) and £100 a month for stationary and sundries. I fuck of at about 0730hrs go and do my inspections (was engineering but now public health), back by 1330hrs to do my reports and other admin, computer off by 1600hrs, empty house ’til 1700hrs so knob out time.
I do miss the fanny and general human interaction, but not too fussed as most people I do believe are right cunts these days.
9
Have I read that right-you are effectively paid to be a wanker😄
That’s a cushy number👍
3
Yes you could say that General, but I normally am one for free. 😃👍
3