Drugs Cheat Lance Armstrong

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Lance Armstrong is a cunt, isn’t he.

A bicycle shop in Austin, Texas owned by substance-abuser Armstrong has suddenly refused to provide and repair bicycles for the cops because of police brutality. This is a tad odd as they’d been awarded a $300,000 contract in order to….provide and repair bicycles for the cops. As only $52000 has been spent, that’s rather a tidy profit.

They then had the brass to say that they “are not anti-police” and that they trust “our local police force will protect us from the very threats we are facing right now.”

Therefore, it’s not alright to provide and repair police bicycles because 0.1% of police are racist but it’s alright to cheat by injecting drugs into your scrotum then continually fibbing about it to win seven Tour De Frances.

There hasn’t been such an arrogant, cheating, junkie shitbag since that fat, hoodwinking Maradona cunt.

Get on your virtue-signalling bike to Oprah Winfrey, Armstrong.
On your marks, get set, fuck off!

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

49 thoughts on “Drugs Cheat Lance Armstrong”

  1. Blatant theft.
    In Texas? Surely he has zero chance of getting away with this?
    Cheating cunts never learn, it seems.

    • I’m sure in the near future the Texan constabulary shall organise for his 150kg cellmate Bubba Cleetus to inject something into every orifice and a few new ones on a regular basis. Don’t mess with Texas

  4. Bike shops have done nicely out of furlough cunts who now can be seen wobbling around our roads. This trade will dry up when these nouveau cyclists realise that it rains in winter. As a result, when these cunts are finally required to turn up at the office, it will be winter and I bet the cunts won’t cycle then. As a result, Armstrong’s trade will dry up and he’ll be glad of the Police Department’s cash.

    I’ve nothing against the furlough scheme btw, but I think too many people have had a well paid holiday out of it.

  5. To be fair to the cheating cunt this decision was nothing to do with him. It was a management decision after complaints by three whinging libtard employees. As we all know, libtards get listened to, conservatives get sacked, that’s the way it is.
    Armstrong has since arranged a meeting between the management and the police department but I don’t know if that has taken place or what the outcome was if it has.
    The trouble is Austin is a woke city so the cheat is between a rock and a hard place. After all this publicity if this ban does not go ahead the store will be burnt to the ground anyway. That’s the way it is. Coming to a city near you very soon.

      • I once accidently drank from Lances waterbottle to wake up naked atop Snowdonia.
        This junkie cunt makes Pete Doherty look sober.
        More Trainspotting than train hard.

      • Although he did get to fire one into Sheryl Crow when she was at maximum hotness, MNC. Fair play to him for that. With the amount of drugs in the bullying cunt’s system, if she’d had had a baby, it would have looked like Rocky Dennis from “The Mask”.

      • Did he?
        Jammy twat.
        Didnt know that,
        Hate him now.
        Keef Richards of cycling.

      • Sheryl Crowe who reckons she could wipe her arse on one piece of toilet paper. Fuck knows how much her arse and fanny stink.

        I bet B&W Cunt would refuse his usual service.

    • So Lance a lot may require police protection at some point then, i bet they will be slow to respond to that call….

  6. “Armstrong has only got one ball. Wiggins had two but they were small”
    These lycra louts are all cunts if you ask me. Think they own the fucking road.

  8. What i find amusing about this lycra clad queerbag is that he acts almost as if he wasn’t caught injecting enough PEDs into his minuscule knackers to make one fall off and roll away like one of his bike’s tyres.

    He’s still on the social media toilet dishing out the sage advice like he’s the all American hero.

    Well i got news for you Lance, i won a bike race when i was 9 years old, that makes me more credentialled and accomplished than you in the sport you devoted most of your adult life to you silly cunt.

  9. Texas and Austin in particular is where hipster Californians are going to escape the mess that they’ve turned California into, now Austin’s going the same way.

    • Damned right SD. Anyone coming from Democratically-controlled states into much nicer GOP states should be subject to a wokeness test and be dispatched right back into Pelosi hell if they fail.

    • All the shit going on in Portland / Seattle / New York is quite amusing, don’t you think? That’s what you get voting Democrat. Fuck Democrats and BLM (Burn Loot Murder).

    • Exactly. It’s also the State Capital, so lots of government employees with guaranteed jobs, and the home of the University of Texas. These are the sort of cunts who comprise the modern libtard movement……. well off, middle class whiteys riddled with guilt who want to save the fucking world. They don’t realise that changing the fucking world will whip their cushy little life from under their feet. Good luck with that libtards.

  10. You have to wonder when the collective conscience of sane people is going to make these wankers crawl back to their chess pits. If black lives are more important to you than white ones then logically you should go and live in a country where the people are black. If you believe in equality don’t use the fact that some people are aware of you (Lily Allen) to impose your opinions on others. If you think that certain organisations (police etc) fail to meet your ‘standards’ don’t use their services.
    Basically, if the normal conventions of a civilised society do not appeal to you and your value set ,feel free to fuck off to a shit hole of your choice; there are plenty of them.

  11. Peripherally, Radio Fart Today this a.m. reports that 70% of our tinted population think the police are biased against them and that police funding should be cut in order to invest in quote “other methods” of cutting the stabbing and abduction rate.

    Other methods? WHAT fucking other methods? Maybe making murder legal?

      • Yeah, a “Brit” called Ye Ming Yuen, there’s the start of the problem. He won’t be fucking about and screaming about yewman rites over there the fucking druggie cunt.

      • Singapore is a major success story over the last 60 years. Education, healthcare ,economic progress combined with a low crime rate mean that it is a superb place to live and raise a family. The success of Singapore is based on the ideas of Lee Kuan Yew, work hard, take personal responsibility and don’t rock the boat. The U.K. politicians who are now criticising Singapore for flogging a convicted drug dealer fail to see the irony in that their wishy washy approach has caused the once great city of London to be an open sewer where murder is an accepted way of settling differences of opinion.

      • Fucking tremendous.
        Those little yellow bastards could teach our “justice” system some nice lessons.
        But never will.

      • Just read the comments. I fear the sun editor is out of touch with the readers. Cunt.

    • Don’t need coppers we need social workers and “knife awareness courses.” You May remember a certain Hakim Sillah attended one in London recently and was stabbed to death by a fellow architect.
      That went well didn’t it wokies?

      • Singapore has The Caning Room – Britain has Wireless 4’s The Briefing Room (David Aaronovitch). Let’s swap. Let’s get David Lammy in the Caning Room with his pathetic cries of please don’t whip my ass, boss!. Next week Jess Phillips and Jenni Murray have a whip-round.

  12. Armstrong is a huge cunt of epic proportions, but i think lots of athletes are, they will take drugs, or bribes or risk life and limbs of others to try to gain a place and are usually horible unpopular cunts to boot, hated by their fellow racers, teams and generally poeple love it when karma fucks the over, you know the kind of cunts i mean as well as honest Lance, Lewis Hamilton, Oscar Pistoriuos, Carl Fogarty, Carl Crutlow (sorry i know its Kal Crutchlow, i just call him Carl because he’s a cunt and i know it annoys him, fuck you Carl) footballers, cricketers in general and many,many more, tax haven fuckmonkeys who are utter cunts, the best bit is as soon as they retire or need medical help that their sponcers wont pay for they are back here like illegal immigrants and god help they have to pay for something themselves, its not bad being payed for what you love to do but theres no need to be a total cunt……isnt that fight Kal……cunt

    • I forgot to mention Bradly Wiggins that ubacunt should have first on my list, he deserves a brolly throug the front wheel ,,,,,if only

  13. Armstrong is a cheating fast peddling lycra cunt par excellence.
    I hope the local PD arrange for him to peddle off a cliff.
    Inject that you sack of woke shite.
    Fuck Off.

  14. Perhaps Armstrong should become the Patron Saint of cyclists. A whopper of a cunt to represent a group of cunts. Quite fitting I think. In fact I reckon cyclists as a whole could do with a good cunting on here. I expect they’ve already had one but another won’t do any harm.

  15. Armstrong? Rat – sued a lot of people and destroyed them for (correctly) stating he was a perpetual drug abuser then cwied and played the victim when caught. (And they promptly sued him back and nearly bankrupted him! 😁).
    He gives fat lazy cnt cycling athletes like me a bad name!
    On your bike Lance, cunt – and think about the money your virtue signalling will lose you, and how slow the Police response is when the chiggun snafflers turn up for a spot of looting.
    On other news Tangoman has called for a boycott of racist apologist cuntpany Goodyear, well done Don! 👍

  17. So let’s get this right…. “$300k to provide and maintain bicycles for the cops”???!!

    Are things so desperate in Hazzard** County now that the modern day Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane has to leave his Plymouth Satellite at the station and wobble around in Lycra instead?

    Can’t see Rod Steiger in The Heat of The Night on one either.

    Has the Lone Star State really degenerated this far?

    ** Daisy Duke was the subject of many of my male wankathon sessions and I’d wager I’m not the only cunt on here that thinks that! Ron? Dick?

  18. So that’s why he was so good. Injecting weird stuff into the tool bag, brave man if nothing else. Having to stand for each stage would have given him an advantage likewise plunging tool bag into a big container of iced water at the finish would have been a massive incentive to pedal like fuck. You live and learn in these exciting times

  19. Let’s hope his shop gets burgled and burnt to the ground in the next BLM riot and the Police just stand around and watch.
    Armstrong is a galaxy sized cunt of the highest order.

  20. Cycling. Another bore fest along with Formula 1. I’d rather watch a coffin warp.

  21. I remember an excellent cartoon in a Swiss newspaper some years back, when there was another drugs scandal in the biking world. It depicted a bike whizzing down the road, with giant hypodermics stuck into the back axle as stabilisers…

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