Citizen Kane

Posted on by

Citizen Kane
Down the years, Orson Welles’ 1941 drama “Citizen Kane” has consistently been voted “the greatest film of all time” in polls conducted on the subject. In particular, film-makers, critics and academics deem it “numero uno”. I believe they feel obliged to do so, in order to demonstrate an appreciation of “film as art” on their part which exceeds the capacity of your regular cinema-going punter. It’s a “masterpiece”, they gush; “hugely influential blah…”.
Personally I’ve always considered this saga about the rise of a newspaper tycoon (supposedly based on W.R. Hearst) to be the most overrated film of all time. Okay, I’ll grant that there’s some technical flair and innovation on display, and I’ve honestly tried to appreciate it if I couldn’t enjoy it, but I’ve never been able to watch it through at one go. It simply leaves me cold, and utterly uninvolved emotionally. For the most part, it’s an exercise in nut-numbing tediousness. So it’s right at the top of my “most overrated” list, propped up by the likes of “2001”, “Gone With The Wind” (wonderful Max Steiner score notwithstanding), “Top Gun”, the gruesome “Titanic”, the ludicrously pretentious “Black Swan”, and anything to do with bastard “Star Wars”.
Anyway, a couple of days ago my little treasure was raking through a box of old VHS cassettes. “Oh look”, she says, “here’s ‘Citizen Kane’. I’ve always meant to watch it. We could do that after tea”. “No way Pedro” says I, “it’s a couple of hours I’ll never get back”. “Oh don’t be a grumpie old meanie” says she, “I’ll make a big pot of tea and open a packet of McVitie’s dark chocolate digestives I’ve been hiding from you. Then afterwards *knowing little smile* we could…”.
Well of course she had me at “then afterwards”. No to be honest, she had me at “McVitie’s dark chocolate digestives”, but I think you get the point. So we sat down and watched (or in my case, endured) it, and of course it wasn’t too long before the fidgeting began. By the time that the enigmatic “Rosebud” came to be uttered, it was very clear that she was bored stupid, but bless her little cotton socks, she was never going to admit it.
Nevertheless I’m extremely pleased to record that my patience and fortitude were duly rewarded in full measure by my little minx, and I slept very well that night. Good things do indeed come to those who wait…

…and “Citizen Kane” remains the most overrated film of all time; unless of course, YOU know differently.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Personally Ron I would give that award to the Godfather trilogy – tried to watch it (well, the first two at least) multiple times only to be bored shitless by its tediously slow pace on each occasion.

118 thoughts on “Citizen Kane”

  1. Moulin Rouge. Went to an open-air theatre in Oz to endure this. Thank God I was able to have a few bevvies and go to sleep for most of it. Tedious pretentious twaddle. But… I should have known – I HATE fucking musicals – there has NEVER been a good one. (Never seen Citizen Kane)

  2. CK, is a pile of shit, quite frankly!

    I’ve been watching films for over 40 years (roughly 9,000 or thereabouts), and I have to say CK is tedious beyond belief. It may have been a big thing back in the day, but quite frankly I enjoyed Orson Wells’ B-movie “Touch of Evil” far more!

    Even the Shawshank Redemption, has far more appeal than CK, despite the tacked-on ending.

    Give me “Lesbian Anal Schoolgirls” over “Citizen Wank” any day!

  3. Citizen Kane is a bit like Sgt Pepper, ‘Dame’ Judi Dench, or the fucking Marx Brothers.
    It’s only ‘great’ because they say it is. Pepper has crap on it like Fixing A Hole and Lovely Rita. Dench plays the same part over and fucking over. And Groucho and his bunch of cunts were blown away by the Goons. And Citizen Kane is borefest to rival the video ‘Arsenal -The George Graham Years. 100 Great 0-0 Draws’.

    Give me Christopher Lee (RIP) as Dracula over that Shitizen Kane bollocks any time.

    • Blasphemy!

      Marx Brothers rule!

      Together with Laurel & Hardy.

      (L&H, are the dog’s bollocks! Still make me laugh with their innocent but inventive humour – Day Admin)

  4. I bought Citizen Kane on the fact its meant to be the greatest film ever made and the references to it in a episode of Colombo “Rosebud’
    Where he has the 2 trained to kill dobermans.
    And your right its fuckin rubbish.
    Boring as fuck.
    Waste of my money.😣
    Anyone saying its ‘amazeballs’ is a pretentious bull shitter.
    I prefer the greats like smokey and the Bandit
    And Dumb & Dumber.☺

  5. “Death in Venice” is a film I have tried to watch many times over the decades hoping it will finally appeal but I have always given up after half an hour of sleep-inducing Mahler soundtrack, hazy views of gondolas and crumbling palaces, close-ups of Dirk Bogarde´s wispy moustache and virtually no dialogue. Of course, like “Citizen Kane”, which I´ve never seen, it is regarded as a “masterpiece” by the cognoscenti.

    • Death In Venice is a pedo’s wet dream. The ‘boy’ that Dirk Borgarde fancies looks more like a girl than the current crop of unicorn-haired SJWs could ever have envisaged. Visconti really showed himself up with that one.

  6. You’re right it’s shit Ron. There’s a scene in it where they’re as all dancing in the newspaper office. Holding arms. Just manically crazy.
    The ‘sound’ is off as well.
    Same with ‘The Magnificent Ambersons’. The sound is not right.
    All his films the sound is skewiff..
    Funny camera angles is what the ‘film school’ aficionados appreciate.
    Maybe Scorsese learnt something there. That’s as bout it.
    What did Rita Haworth say when she left him? ‘If that’s living with Genius then I’m off’.
    Indulged his whole lifetime really.

    • Funny though maybe we need a remake-‘Citizen Khan’. like Randolph Hearst he is drunk with power.

  7. There is plethora of bad films that are gushed over by luvvies. I prefer watching Talking Pictures, most shown are from the fifties. 20 years ago I saw a foreign film called the Vanishing it was superb, that should be in the top ten horror films.

      • Recording it. Watched Stardust last night. Men Behaving Badly on later tonight.
        Most up to date stuff is shite. Never seen CK so cant comment. Godfather 1&2 great.

  8. If anyone’s interested, here are some other films from my overrated list, in no particular order;
    *Gone With The Wind
    *Titanic
    *Braveheart
    *Star Wars (any thing and everything)
    *Top Gun
    *The Godfather
    *Black Swan (horribly pretentious guff)
    *West Side Story
    *The Exorcist
    *Lawrence of Arabia
    *An American In Paris
    *Avatar
    *Forrest Gump
    *The Searchers
    *Rocky

    Got it off my chest!

    (I would add “Psycho” to that list. Day Admin)

    • Yes good shout on ‘Psycho’.I remember going to see it on release, and left the cinema wondering what all the fuss was about.
      Same with ‘The Exorcist’. Queued round the block at the old ABC in New St, Brum, and there were people going around the block handing out leaflets, giving us dire warnings about the devil talking our souls if we went into the cinema. What a let-down; people in the audience were laughing, it was so over-the-top.

      • Janet Leigh was as doable as fuck in Psycho though.

        More overrated shite:

        E.T
        Gandhi
        Twin Peaks
        Lost
        Memoirs Of A Geisha
        Harry Bastard Potter (all of it)
        Any Woody Allen bollocks
        Dances With Cunts – I mean Wolves
        Game Of Fucking Thrones

        Top films:

        Hobson’s Choice
        Jaws
        Gimme Shelter
        Get Carter
        The Battle Of Britain
        Kes

    • Star Wars series is a pile of crap.
      I enjoy Stanley Kubrick work especially Dr Strangelove and Paths of Glory. Kubrick was an American who disliked Americans! He rarely if ever left the U.K. after settling down here.

  10. I hate this fucking film (or as we say in the states movie)! Not only that, I hate that lefty pinko bastard Orson “we drink no wine before it’s time” Welles.

    He’s the reason Phonywood and the artsy fartsy types think this movie is so great. They think the fat, drunken, cunt was so intellectually “deep.” He’s about as intellectually deep as a puddle of piss on a board. They spent decades trying to figure out what “rosebud” meant. Stupid cunts.

    Citizen Cunt is more like it.

    • Wasn’t there some story about ‘rosebud’ supposedly referring to Hearst’s bird’s tuppence? It was his nickname for it, or something…

      (Be prepared for some weird peado shite coming your way, legitimised by the Wokes – Day Admin)

      • You are absolutely correct RK. No less an “authority” than Gore Vidal claimed that “rosebud” was William Randolph Hearst’s pet name for his lover’s (actress Marion Davies) clitoris.

      • Didn’t Orson Welles describe Lord Olivier as “the stupidest person I’ve ever met”?

        Bet darling Larry didn’t like him either…

      • Hey Ruff!

        It is indeed me…back from the dead. Thanks for the kind words…it’s great to see you too!

        (Welcome back, General. Always nice to get a Yank perspective on social issues here – Day Admin)

      • Oh, and in case you’re wondering who I am I changed my name from OpinionatedCunt a few months back.

      • I second RTC’s comment. I’m sure we all hope that whatever issues you have been dealing with are resolved now.

      • From one General to another…thank you very much!

        By the way…you can change your name but you’re still an “Opinionated Cunt!”

        (I would add a smiley face if I had emogi’s!)

      • Good to see you back General, the BLM mob haven’t pulled you down and covered you in graffiti yet then?

  11. You’ll be laughing the other side of your face when we get ‘Citizen Khan’.

  12. Don’t do ponc.y arty film recommendations.
    Boring as fuck.
    Try Hard Times from the mid 70s with Charles Bronson.
    Fuck It.

    • Michael Winner’s 1973 ‘cop toughie’ The Stone Killer is brilliant.

  13. 12 Angry Men (Lumet)
    Bad day at black rock
    Terminator
    Aliens
    One flew over the cuckoos nest
    Jungle Book (Original)
    Blade runner
    Planes trains and automobiles
    Love actually
    Most spaghetti westerns…

    • A personal favourites list…
      John Carpenter’s “The Thing”
      George A Romero’s “Dawn of the Dead”
      A Matter of Life and Death (no Hollywood remake PLEASE GOD!!)
      Any Bond film produced while Cubby was still breathing
      Dirty Harry
      Peter Jackson’s “Bad Taste”
      Predator (the original)
      North by Northwest
      Battle of Britain
      War of the Worlds (no, not the Speilberg one)
      Die Hard (the original)
      The League of Gentlemen (Jack Hawkins)
      Two Way Stretch (Peter Sellers)

  14. Watched it during lockdown just to see what all the fuss was about. Watched it and said ‘is that it’. Not a bad film but totally overrated. I do like Black Swan, especially the lesbian scene with Mila Kunis in stockings. The most overrated film in my opinion is Dances With Wolves. I can’t believe that shit stopped GoodFellas getting the best picture Oscar.

    (I rate Goodfellas, head and shoulders over the Cuntfather – Day Admin)

  15. I note that nobody on this thread has used the snowflake word “movie”, except the General, who is a septic so is allowed. That’s good. We don’t need fucking pricks talking like soyboys. As for Citizen Kane i’ve never got beyond the first half hour. Pile of boring shit.

    (We’ve got some rather tasty cuntings for you tomorrow. Just hope you all don’t have high blood pressure because piss wil be boiling – Day Admin)

  16. Apocalypse Now is utter shite. Pretentious and aimless wank-fodder for film critics. No wonder Sheen had a heart attack during filming, I’d have cut my cock off to get off that set.

    • I’ll go with that one, although I qualify it by saying that the sequence with Robert Duvall was marvellous.

      (“I love the smell of napalm in the morning!”, is worth the admission price alone – Day Admin)

      • Smells of victory.

        Just watched it again. Good but pretentious. Prefer Deerhunter. Deliverance ace too.

    • Totally agree with that one. Never seen the end because I always fall asleep. Shite.

  17. Aye it’s overrated. As is Apocalypse Now. A few ‘half films’ about too.

    Saving Private Ryan is brilliant for about the first 35 minutes. Then it’s nothing special. Full Metal Jacket is an incredible film, but once the drill instructor and Private Pile die it’s over for me.

    Last decent film I watched was Dunkirk. Of course, there were complaints by the usual nutjobs that the British troops on the beach didn’t all have bones through their noses, but fuck ’em. I enjoyed it.

    I also enjoyed a little known terrorism film called ‘Five Fingers’ (Laurence Fishburne is in it). Sometimes it’s the films nobody hypes up that end up being enjoyed.

    (“Jaws” remains one of my favourites. Doesn’t have the intellectual depth to appeal to the up-their-arsehole critics, but fuck it, it was a blast! You’re gonna need a bigger cunt! – Day Admin)

  18. If I see a film described as a classic I don’t bother as I am almost certain it’s not for me. I saw Terminator a few months ago and it made such an impression that I don’t remember a single thing about it. So-called classics seem to have that effect on me.

    • Deadmens shoes and this is England both by Shane Meadows both brilliant, both made in this country.
      Enjoyed ‘once upon a time in Hollywood’ Tarantino film,
      But as time goes by its rare I enjoy anything new.

      • Dead Men’s Shoes is indeed a masterpiece, MNC. And one that not many people have seen. I like the bit in the working mens’ club where the rat-faced fellow asks Paddy Considine what he’s looking at…
        “FUCKING YOU, YOU CUNT”!

      • A room for Romeo Brass is good too-paddy Considine stars in this as well.
        Most dissapointing Shane Meadows film has to be “Once upon a time in the midlands”- a comedy, that isn’t funny.

      • Thomas, the main part of the film is filmed in Riber Castle, which Was a zoo back in the 70s and which I often went too.
        Its near Matlock Bath beloved by bikers.
        Great film,
        And Paddy Considine at his best.

      • Great choice thomas! excellent fillum, Local derbyshire gangsters driving around in a citroen dyane….. funny as fuck.

  19. Most of the Hitchcock films are glossy overrated shit in my opinion. “North by Northwest”, “The Birds” and the laughable “Rear Window”, spring to mind. Full of big names but total mind numbing shit.

  20. Monty Python’s “Life of Brian” is blasphemous filth.

    It should be banned.

  21. Godfather Part 2 is better than Goidfellas, in this cunts opinion.

    Fucking love films me, if you want something difficult to watch, uncomfortable, Bergmans films take some beating: cries and whispers-or the sacred heart trilogy by Lars Von Trier.
    Check out his “House that Jack built” starring Matt Dillon-not one to watch with Grandma (Bertie Blunt)😉

  22. If you want classic black and white films, Kurosawa,s Seven Samurai takes some beating.
    I watched Laurel and Hardy’s Way out West last month-it still makes me laugh out loud.

    (Seven Samurai, is a classic, which was rebooted into the Magnificent Seven, in the early 60s. A decent film but overwhelmed by too many big-name stars – Day Admin)

    • Laurel & Hardys Sons of the desert makes me weep with laughter, most of their stuff does.
      Mae Busch as mrs Hardy to Stan who ate her decorative fruit
      “And you keep quiet you.
      You wax eater you.”
      Stan looks about to cry.
      Love em.

      • @MNC-I know we all hate Steve Cunton (Coogan), credit where it’s due-he nailed Stan Laurel in the recent biopic 👍

      • Bang on. Coogan’s a complete cunt, but hats off to him. His performance as Stan Laurel was awesome.

      • Ive not seen it although ive got a copy somewhere.
        Just cant bring myself to watch it.
        When they did the missing episodes of Dads Army recently with other actors I had to turn it off.

      • I heard Coogan was good as Stanley.
        Hope it was better then his Tony Wilson. Because that was shit.

    • @Day Admin-people would be amazed at the number of Hollywood classics that are completely lifted from Asia and remade.

  23. The Searchers overated Ron?

    Never, that is a great atmospheric western with not a bit of spaghetti in sight.

    Must admit I’d sooner watch Harry Kane than Citizen Kane.

    And Bad Day at Black Rock – terrific fight scene where one-armed Spencer Tracey takes the town’s tough guy apart.

    • The town tough guy bully in bad day at black rock is played rather menacingly by none other than Ernest Borgnine.

      • Foxy@

        Western toughguys?
        Little Bill played by Gene Hackman in Unforgiven!
        Kicking the snot out of English Bob Richard Harris
        “Now then Bob, guess you think im kicking you?
        But im talking to you..”

    • Yes, ‘The Searchers’ doesn’t cut it for me, m’lud. I find it a bit tedious, little drive, and there are some gruesomely clumsy attempts at humour which are cringeworthy. Super location shooting tho.

  24. I’m currently writing a screenplay for a futuristic sci-fi movie loosely based on a TV series about a group of political dissidents whose leader becomes a bus inspector….Blakey’s seven.

  26. Citizen Kane is awful, I lasted about 7 minutes before putting on Les Patterson saves the world, that film always gives me a chuckle, another awful film is Hobo with a shotgun, that should be buried in concrete and never see the light of day, it’s fucking repugnant!

  27. Thank Christ for this Nomination!!

    I’ve always thought Citizen Kane is the biggest pile of over-rated shite I ever had to sit through!

  28. Original Batman film (1966)
    Idiocracy
    First Star Wars film.
    Fear and loathing in Las Vegas.
    The seventh Seal.
    Dumb and Dumber.
    The chimp.
    The Blues Brothers.

    Citizen Kane? Utter shite.

    • ‘Dumb and Dumber’ makes me want to put my foot through the telly screen and send the bill to the film studio.
      Somebody should take out a contract on that gurning idiot Jim Carrey.

    • Vern-Bergman’s Seventh Seal (a true masterpiece) is partly autobiographical-he was brought up in a typical Scandinavian religious household and he claimed to have had visions of the blessed virgin on several occasions.
      Crazy Swede.

  30. I fucking hate Orson Fat Cunt Wells with a vengeance. Anything the fucker is involved with is completely overrated bollocks like The Third Man with that intensely annoying zither music all the way through. Anyone remember those god awful sherry adverts he did, Domecq I think – I suppose those are rated as ‘classics’. On the subject of overrated films, my nomination would be the The Deer Hunter, complete pretentious and overlong bollocks. Critics always scratch their heads why Michael Cimino didn’t make another ‘classic’ film, well it’s probably because he’s a shit filmaker you cunts and that you’ve gone totally overboard about this one.

    • I had the misfortune to see The Deerhunter at the cinema when it came out. Fucking hated it. When we got to the intermission, I thought it was time to go home – didnt realise there was another aeon to go 😠. Utter shite. Sweet Smell of Success – now there’s a great fillum.

Comments are closed.