After every incident of lawlessness, murder and terrorism in the UK, I find myself getting more and more pissed off with the fuckin’ platitudes issued by Government, police and other authorities. All supposedly to reassure Joe public and restore confidence but all are basically an admission of defeat.
I’d like to look at four or five of my “favourite” ones but I’m sure you’d be able to add more of your own.
1. “Lessons will be learned from this.” But they never are, are they? As so often before, this was seen after the murder of three men in Reading. Priti and Boris both come out with this well worn cliche. It’s now about four days after the incident and it’s as if it never happened at all. What has it taught us? Simply not to believe any utterances that come out of fuckin’ politicians mouths.
2. “These type of incidents are very rare in this country.” Are they? Perhaps compared with downtown Beirut or Mexico City but they are far more common than in the Britain of thirty or forty years ago. I’m sure that statement is very comforting to all the family and friends who lost loved ones in the Manchester bombing or those who’ve had their lives cut short by a knife, not just on the streets but when relaxing leisurely in a park or peacefully going about their business in a city centre. What would brave policemen who’ve given their lives be thinking if they’d been able to reflect, especially when observing the craven, submissive reaction by some of their colleagues to recent events?
3. “There is no danger to the general public.” Usually issued as an all clear and forgetting to add “until the next time.”
4. Saving my favourite to the last, I’d love to be able to wrap my fingers around the throat of the first cunt who uttered “he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.” This one implies that some sort of blame can be attached to the victim, only now we’re not talking about some poor sod who has accidentally stumbled into downtown Miami. No, this could be your average sunbather, someone enjoying a night out at concert or a film. You can even be in your own home and still be in the “wrong” place! How can it be that in the year 2020 on this still beautiful island, you can be considered “in the wrong place?” I would never even been able to consider this in my childhood. This would have been anathema to my parents or grandparents had they been alive today.
A big fuck off to all the authorities who continue to use such terms. If you’ve nothing constructive to say, say fuck all you shower of cunts.
Nominated by: Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt
I suppose it’s a matter of having to say something, not that that makes it any less irritating.
I find this crap irritating because it was the sort of rubbish my teachers would come out with and because there usually is something much better to say. As in “we can’t put coppers everywhere so everyone pick up a stick”. I suppose they are worried we’d all get trigger happy, which we would, which would make you think about leaving if you were a likely, albeit innocent, target.
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“We are working closely with (whomever is the flavour of the day)” or “we are working tirelessly (ditto)”
The former means there’s a massive PR fuck-up to address with some whinging bunch of cunts courtesy of a dopy front-bench minister or MP
The latter means some junior civil servant jobsworths are working unpaid overtime to dig the government out of a hole they dug themselves with the same whinging bunch of cunts!
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Good point T one would think that after working with all these interest groups for the last 60 years some sort of solution would have been found. Appears not, oh well it’s only our taxes wasted on vanity projects who gives a fuck.
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Good cunting. But you forgot the classics “police aren’t jumping to any conclusions” and “we don’t yet know the motive for these attacks”.
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…Unless it involves Tommy Robinson or Nigel Farage.
Different kettle of fucking fish then!
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Then there’s this kind of crap
“A gentleman is helping police with their inquiries”
I wish it meant:
“The low life skumbag is in the rozzers basement being water boarded then his fix teeth kicked in”
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Fix? No, his fucking teeth
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The next cunt I hear droning on about the ‘new normal’ gets a tanned jaw.
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Don’t worry Mecha, “we’re by your side” in these “unprecedented times”.
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and, indeed, ” all in it together” – cunts cunts cunts
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“Diversity is our strength”
(I would write more but I am currently pissing myself with laughter at that one!)
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Still waiting for someone to ask, for example Suckdick Cunt, “what do you actually mean by that phrase, what does it mean, explain please”
Because I have no idea, unless it means expanding the gene pool, however Covid has shown we really don’t need BAME genes, they are fucking useless!
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Someone should tell Suckdick that divided we fall.
Which is exactly the root of all that’s wrong with our country today. Integrate, not diversify you fuckwitted khunt.
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He knows what he means. If we all diversify and the muslims stay united, they simply take over as there will be no opposition.
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@moggie
Correct.
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Diversity?
A bunch of mincing so called dancers innit?
Coming with several poofter z listers to a panto near you this wintervaltide
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The lessons will be learned line is one that is guaranteed to wind me up. I think the last time I heard it was coming out of Boris’ pie hole when talking about hat asylum seeker who said he was going to stab some people because he didn’t like the grub they were giving him, and he went out and stabbed some people. Cunt.
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What I want to know is what action will be taken about whatever has happened not to hear some stupid platitudes.
Or,… They just shut the fuck up and do something for a change.
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It annoys me more and more as time goes on. There should be less words and more action.
I believe in diplomacy of course but the police should not be afraid to arrest people.
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P.s lessons should be learned by the people that cause the trouble in the first place.
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That screaming little athlete tart who was stopped by the police on Saturday got her deepand meaingful apology from the Chief Lezza herself yesterday, Cressida Dickhead. Very luckily the arrestng officer was a woman (buth looking at that), had it been a bloke Dick would probably have had his balls for bacon dumplings.
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*butch looking” My mputer and me are both cunts.
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sets a nice precedent!
Next time you see a Beemer doing 90 down a High Street, containing 4 BLMs with shotguns, Uzis, machetes and grenades after doing a bank job, the police will just give them an escort back to their hideout and give then a mild rebuke for a faulty rear light!
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I reckon they’d repair it, paying for any parts out of their own pockets, then tell their Chief Constable how brave and diverse they were.
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“Lessons will be learned” is the fucking one that pisses me off totally. You can only learn if you REALLY want to, and most politicians are perfectly happy in their own little worlds.
I heard a new one yesterday from Dame Kweer. I had pmqs on before the budget, and the fuckwitted motherfucker said FIVE times in his six questions – will he apologize?”, with an irritating little lisp on the “gize” bit, then his little parrott Anal-Liza Dodds (who with her teeth and frizzy hair looks like Ken Dodd) said it again. He had his tena ladies in a twist over some imagined slight to care workers. Poor old Dodds shreiked it like a banshee.
The mock outrage, like the mock contrition is sickening.
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Not wise to mention parrot within this thread.
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‘Lessons will be learned’. O K , who will be learning them, what is the time scale and will they lose their jobs and pensions when it goes fits up yet again?
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“following the science” – lies lies lies
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Lessons must be learned and if you fail the next time, then it’s off to the chokey for you!
By chokey I of course mean an actual iron maiden, in Parliament Square, where any right honourable member of the public may take a jab with their bladed article of choice, or plop in some bodily fluids.
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I’d like to here some new platitudes
“Were going to deport the cunts and fuck the human rights act”. Would be a good start
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My sentiments exactly. I want to hear anger in the voices of people like Khan when they stand there with flash bulbs going off. “Our thoughts are with the victims family” and “We must not let them divide us as this is what they want” are all very well and nice and have heard countless times but it means shit. Action, not regret is what is needed, as that sounds pro-active opposed to non-action statements mentioned above.
I really believe that the majority of people apart from vicars and pacifists just want the authorities to start kicking criminals arses in. They want, like me and many here to see the cunts that are trying to tip our lives upside down dragged through the streets with a rope around their ankles then thrown up on the stocks in front of a baying crowd for them to meet their fate.
But the next best thing will do, obviously 🤨
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The government are powerless to solve the problem, government doesn’t resolve problems, more often than not it causes them.
The government is currently spending (borrowing) billions to fix the damage to the economy that it’s lockdown caused. Who’s paying for it? The people or more accurately some of the people.
People need to lose their reliance on the state.
Who allowed mass controlled immigration? The government. Who said mass immigration was required to fix a problem? The government! Who’s now helpless to resolve a problem created by mass immigration? The government!
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Mass immigration to solve the problems of an ageing society? What happens when the immigrants get old, do we just get more of them ? How can an unskilled migrant contribute more to society than they take out? Who has had objective research done and put it in the wider public domain?
Most developed countries have ageing populations, notably Japan but they do not see unfettered immigration as a solution.
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“All part of living in a big city”.
Well it is now, thanks to you and your tribe you son of a bus driving cunt!
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‘All part of living in a big city’.That is a particularly vicious comment to make as it appears to condone the actions of a few against the majority. Those cunts will be sure to quote it to the police when they attempt to deal with street parties etc.
Was there ever a more useless, no , anti decent person, cunt as Mayor of London.
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Khan makes even Ken Livinsgtone look halfway decent. i can’t wait for the little shortarse fucker to go and start his little backstreet newsagent shop, complete with out of best-by slabs of chocolate, a few limp decaying vegetables. cheap36 packs of bog rolls and the permanent pong of curry and garlic in the foul air.
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If I was in charge, my pet phrases would be completely honest,e.g.”tough shit ,get over it, move on. If you don’t like it you can just fuck off you leftie whingeing cunts”
“Fuck you! I couldn’t give a shit!“
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After the recent kaffir disturbances in London:
‘We, the police, are working with the local community.’
That works well doesn’t it? How long before the local community murders police or goes looting. Probably both because some unindoctrinated plod dares search one of the local community.
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The more time goes by CC the more I’m starting to think the unthinkable, I thought it was awful years ago but now I’m starting to believe that the 1948-1990 South Africa solution to racial harmony wasn’t that bad, at least the majority of people wouldn’t have to put up with this shit of stabings and gang violence as they’d keep to their own areas, but no British politician would have the balls to say it, and of course anyone who says “lessons will be learnt” are naturally utter cunts!
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@ CQ
You are also correct and it’s time people stopped being scared to tell the truth.
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Anything involving ‘The community’ beloved by politicians and media wankers because its just a byword for crime, lawlessness, religious extremism, manufactured victimhood and entitlement.
Top cunting Bertie.
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extend that to ‘community leaders’. Just who the fuck are these people?
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“A far reaching public inquiry will be held.”
I could tell you the result today but we’ll stretch it out for three and a half years by which time nobody gives a fuck.
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Or
“Our 3 year, £2m investigation was inconclusive” (meaning, someone at the top fucked up, but we’re keeping quiet about that).
“But rest assured, lessons will be learned” (thus the circle of blameless culpability, is complete)
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Unless its Grenfell, Windrush or BAME Coronavirus deaths of course.
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If lessons are to be learned, shouldn’t Ofsted be involved in ensuring that all learning outcomes have been met?
If they haven’t been met, heads usually roll in educational establishments, who are often then put into Special Measures to ensure the lessons are being learned.
For me the worst one is; “Our thoughts and prayers…”
It has all the sincerity of a McDonalds worker.
Lighting candles, praying and not looking back in anger doesn’t fill the perpetrators with any kind of fear. They probably piss themselves laughing and then look to open flower shops near their next target.
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Shite phrases used by authority Bertie in truth.
‘We are not jumping to any conclusions’ we’re too busy jumping through hoops.
Dick in Parliament yesterday. So professional-sounding. But the truth is she is an alphabetti person. The L of lgbt. That’s why she’s there. For no other reason.
Khan: Multiculturalism works. There is no problem. Why do you bring bad news up?
What’s Trump being saying on Twitter?
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The mind of the Left.:
Multiculturalism works. Another outrage. Multiculturalism works. Another outrage. Multiculturalism works…
Chesterton when discussing some age or analyzing an age would say ‘the great gap in their minds was…’
Or the quote from Inherit the Wind;
‘I don’t think about what I don’t think about’.
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What do you get if you ask a politician to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Three different answers.
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Excellent nom Bertie!
We cant let hate divide us we don’t look back in anger,
Diversity is our greatest strenth, blah de blah blah
Fuck right off…..
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The phrase ‘this is unacceptable’ , example, the Brixton Ape party, absolutely meaningless unless it’s followed by ‘so we went in sorted it out (put the Apes back in their cages)’
The BBC have finally lost the plot, I put the news on at midday and they are giving dollar equivalents to the £ values they are reporting.
Have I missed something, have we been bought out by the USA, is Donald now our boss.
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Better than in Euros!
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The only words they can conjure up are weasel words.
Mustn’t cause offence.
I vote Eichmann.
Fuck off.
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A comment that would please me would be “The social worker / civil servant whose gross incompetence cost lives, has today been sent to jail for 2 years”. I ain’t holding my breath, it takes a long time for lessons to be learnt, if ever, in this fucking country.
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But we know that the poor sod off to prison would be some underling who was going by the rules imposed upon them by the clueless establishment.
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Not just phrases but what I call ‘fashion’ word really boil my piss. I’m fucked off with media cunts using words like the ‘narrative’ or ‘conflated. I’m reasonably well educated and have never heard any cunt use these words until recently. Oh, and ‘God whistle’ and ‘gaslighting’ make me fucking murderous too. I gaslight my missus all the fucking time; mess with her fucking head, keeps her on her fucking toes like.
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What’s ‘gaslighting’? WCC?
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Setting fire to your farts?
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Sowing seeds of doubt in there feeble little minds Ron, subtle manipulation and general mind games. Works a fucking treat! Well, married 28 years so must be doing something right.
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‘their’..twat.
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Thanks West. That’s a new one on me.
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Great nom Bertie.
One of my favourites is ‘so-called’, as in ‘so-called Islamic State’. It ain’t called ‘So-called Islamic State’ BBCunts, it’s called ‘Islamic State’.
Another is ‘challenging’ BBCunts, as in ‘conditions will be challenging’.
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“Problematic”
Makes me grind my teeth every time that word is uttered….😠
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That fucking ‘lessons will be learned’ bullshit really boils my piss. That’s OK the first couple of times it happens but when immigrants keep killing innocent people the only lesson the cunts need to have learned is that keep letting all the filth of the world to settle in the UK doesn’t work. So the ‘lesson to be learned’ is to not the fucking cunts in here in the first place. For fuck’s sake, it’s not exactly difficult, is it?
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Two more that piss me off are;
‘minded’, as in ‘I’m minded to accept that annual immigration of 3 million to the UK is manageable’
and
‘enriched’, as in ‘immigration in the last fifty years has enriched us’
Who the fuck talks like that other than a politician?
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Enriched, like plutonium, highly toxic. Also enriched cuntitude, much visible in these “challenging” (oops, there goes another of my most detested words) times…
Pffft.
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‘Sending out the wrong signal’, boils my piss to plasma, along with ‘Wake up call’.
Thought I’d use this ‘Window of opportunity’ to add to the nom.
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