Fuckwit Degrees

A stupid-mortar-board-and-idiotic-grin cunting for Non-academic degrees.

A degree is meant to be academic; based on research, reading, theory, seminars, lectures, more reading, and writing papers.

It does not make you a better comic book artist, actor, dancer, singer, dress maker, or cook.

I’ve met people with degrees in biology who are stuck in warehouses, physics and economics graduates who are landscape gardeners or window cleaners.. They have academic degrees in STEM fields and still struggle to get a relevant job.

The poor saps who decide to take 3 years off and whack thirty grand on a Performing arts degree to learn how to act should really be going to stage school. A degree will not teach you skills or techniques.

If you want to learn to draw go to an art/technical college. Writing an essay on postmodernism or how Batman is a toxic white male wont help.

Fashion design is another culprit, but the worst one is a BA in ‘culinary arts’.


Who will the hotel manager hire; the 22 year old who started off as a pot washer aged 15, became a commis chef after a professional catering course paid for by a different hotel, then moved up to sous chef, or a 22 year old who spent three years reading about Anthony Bourdain and Umami, knows where the three Michelin star restaurants are but never chopped an onion?

Any cunters with children or relatives approaching college age might want to think about this. Their teachers and lecturers might say ‘get a degree get a degree get a degree’ but do we need more BA (Hons) shelf-stackers with Derrida and Marcuse on their bookshelves but thirty grand owed and can never pay back?

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

47 thoughts on “Fuckwit Degrees

  1. I did a 3 year BSc (hons) in Computer Sciences (IT), some 30 odd years ago.

    Back then there’s was no Google, no Wiki, no social media…. in fact the internet back then was still in the domain of the computer geeks. So trying to find information to help with my course studies meant going to the library and spending hours researching, reading, compiling notes and shitloads more!

    It was hard work from start to finish, but I managed to pass with a 2:1, and it served me well with some well-paid, challenging job roles over the last 25 years or so.

    But ever since Blair lowered the entry-requirements for university, so to did he let the quality of degree slide down the bog as well. So much so you can now get a degree in BA “Celebrity Studies” or a BA in “How to be a complete Cunt”

    And yet most of these graduates probably have no idea how to boil an egg, change a fuse, or cook a meal without access to a MW,

  2. Great cunting.
    Only core subjects such as maths, english or science should be degrees. The rest are bollocks.
    Anything else that’s actually useful should be apprenticeship orientated.
    Hippies studying surfing or kulie minogue should be tried and sentenced for intentionally defrauding the public purse. Then flogged in the street.

  3. So you would say a degree in Theatre lighting and Polish mountain woodworking would not guarantee a lucrative and interesting career? It’s joint honours, must count for something surely.

  4. Honours degree in severe drug addiction and advanced inner city fellatio.

  5. I am not familiar with the 12th century. Chaucer the ‘father of English poetry’ lived in the 14th. But you can never get a good proper modern translation. The middle English is tiresome to get through. I recommend for those interested in early English poetry to read Edmund Spencer’s (15th century) ‘The Fairie Queene’.
    That’s where to start.

  6. I studied for years hoping to get into Formula 1 but every time I applied I was told that to increase my chances I should change my name to include a region of Scotland.

    Lewis Hamilton
    Stirling Moss
    Eddie Irvine
    Ayr Town Centre….

  7. I’m not sure how useful my degree in Politics and History will be but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless. Albeit I do sometimes wish I’d done childcare instead.

  8. And these cunts now use Grammarly to cheat, as it does all their grammar and spelling for them, while they do their ‘degrees’ on media studies, Beyonce (no fucking joke) and Hollywood celebricunts.

    What with ‘courses’ like that, generation snowfalke students, BLM appeasement and hate filled Parking Stanley Klingons, the university system in Britain is now both pointless and doomed.

    • The very mention of Grammarly dredges up horrific memories of their YouTube advertising spree for me. I would say it’s good that they’re gone now but they’ve since been replaced by Cake and fucking Tiktok.

  9. Best one I heard was from a barmaid one night. She said the bar work was part time as she was doing a degree in Tourism. Hmmmm, why not just work in a travel agents and pick experience up from there. Another good one I heard last week was a Degree in Comics (Beano, Batman etc). That will put the country back on its feet.

  10. I met a lot of mickey mouse graduates during my final years at work. Doing low paid admin jobs.
    Music seems to be completely useless. Forensics surprisingly was a ticket to the job centre. And that’s before you get the woke gender, race identity shite which only qualifies to lecture woke shite,( which, although a growth area has limited prospects) or ask ‘do you want fries with that?’ A degree in Media Studies helps pass the time watching daytime telly.

    • Forensics is an interesting one. Apparently there was a massive increase in applications for that a few years ago when that CSI shit hit the screens. They all thought they would be magically solving murders while sitting around looking glamorous and drinking cawfee. You ended up with about 8000 cunts chasing about 40 jobs.
      Similarly with that Midwife shit. A load of silly tarts thought they would be riding around on bicycles with baskets on the front in 1950’s villages where it never fucking rains. Sadly the government put the kibosh on that fantasy by withdrawing bursaries for Midwifery. Much cheaper to import foreign midwives who are grateful for their piss poor wages and ridiculous working hours.

  11. My Ph.D at Fiddler University is not going well.

    After nearly a year of ‘study’ all I have to show for it is some illegible notes on the back of beermats, a vast tab at the union bar and an enlarged liver. I am also slightly deaf in one ear from sitting next to the Chancellor as he bellows foul-mouthed insults at the LGBT+ Society night after night.

  12. I think a big part of the problem is that our economy is now based on low paid service industry jobs. For anything else, the employers will ship in immigrants and foreigners. I used to work in oil and gas engineering. Well paid work in the 80s and 90s. Then it became easier to get work permits for foreigners. So, the employer would advertise a skilled engineering job at crap money. No takers, so they can then go to the government and get work permits for Indians. Now the business is full of Indians and other sub-continent cunts. No white folk there anymore.

  13. Went out with an absolute fruitcake of a bird in my late teens who did an art history degree. Thats remembering who painted what and when to you and I.

    Although a fantastic fuck, she really was messed up in the head and ended up fucking off with some whimpering ponce who was doing a circus arts degree. Mastering in ‘clowning’.

    And no, I am not making this up.

    Just out of interest, I thought I would look them both up to see what they are up to these days.

    The art history tart is now living in the arse end of nowhere in the west country, selling piss poor ceramics and artwork for a living that look like they were painted by Joey Deacon on acid.

    The clown master fucked off to Australia, has gone completely bald, put on five stone and works in an IT help centre.

    What a pair of cunts. 😂

    • My first missus was also at university and ended up doing a Phd in English literature, which is actually quite impressive considering she was Danish.

      She loved the cock, shedloads of drugs and getting shitfaced on red wine.

      Now works for some illegal immigrant charidee, advising the peacefuls on how to stay in Daneland, claiming full benefits and preventing them being deported when they get arrested for rape, murder and threatening to blow themselves to bits.

      Married an accountant.

      What a cunt.

    • Superb! Gave me the best laugh in days. I needed one as I‘m feeling a right cunt for dropping bike at the petrol station.

  14. “A degree will not teach you skills or techniques.” Hmm, I think they do, actually. That’s the point of them.

    Nevertheless, a Gender Studies degree is ridiculous. Studying how unfair life is for wimmin and trannies for three years while constantly reading books by authors who fell out the ugly tree and hit every twig.

    • The biggest problem with Gender Studies is the people who teach it. Most of the ‘academics’ in this field are ghastly individuals who would struggle to get a job at McDonalds and yet ,incredibly, consider themselves to be great thinkers who are duty bound to promulgate poison.

      • Good comment G, what the fuck is gender studies? The name suggests to me that one does three years studying men and women. As the subject appears to be as relevant to doing anything useful as juggling pineapples anyone who gets paid for teaching such bollocks must be one hell of a con artist.

    • The degrees in the arts seldom teach skills and techniques to help students become better in that particular artform (i have known several people who have unfortunately been conned into taking them), hence this nom distinguishing them from academic degrees demanding research and writing papers.

  15. Spot on Cunting.

    ‘Uni’ is just a business.

    I have 2 daughters both at ‘Uni’, one studying to be a deceitful baaastard (law) and the other, business.

    I hope for them that when they leave £30-40k in debt they’ll be able to make something of the sacrifice.

    But the plethora of shit on offer is hilarious. Madonna Studies I recall being offered by some 3rd rate Poly.

    What’s the bet that they’ll soon be a BAME Studies on offer.

    I’d like to suggest ‘Cunt Studies’.

    I reckon I’d get a first in that.

    • Or doing an apprenticeship in a trade.

      People will always need Plumbers, Electricians, Bricklayers, Gas installers and roofers etc.

      All of these trades command significant salaries and the freelance side is a licence to print money once you have served your time working for a company.

      Now square that up with a bedreadlocked cunt with a degree in yoghurt knitting, wimminz studies or underwater basket weaving.

      The tradesmen own their own place, have a Merc on the driveway and money in the bank at age 30.

      The crusties have a huge overdraft, student loan debt, live in their Mum’s spare room and are utterly useless to humanity.

      I am fully in favour of national service though.

      Thrash some bloody sense into them!

  16. Why did the BAME slave go to university?

    So he could pick up his Master’s degree.

    • Give it time and a “Masters Degree” will be banned!

      I work in IT and am getting emails from hard drive & PC manufacturers declaring that they are doing away with the offensive/derogatory terms “Master Slave hard drives”

      • From next year, the Russell group of universities are banning the term “Masters degree!”
        They are replacing it with “ Big Cheeses Degree.”

  17. I wish that I’d gone to “Uni”…..just imagine how big a Cunt I could be if I was armed with a Degree.

    Most people who have Degrees are either Weirdos,Windbags or Workshy. I’d shut most of the Universities and tell the feckless staff and students to Fuck Off and get a proper job. This country doesn’t need any more Eggheads dribbling their “intellectual” shite.


    • Your alliteration of ‘weirdos, windbags, workshy’ reminded me of Larkin’s holy trinity of destructive personalities, also alliterative-

      ‘from the Introduction to All What Jazz, 1970): “This is my essential criticism of modernism, whether perpetrated by Parker, Pound or Picasso: it helps us neither to enjoy nor endure. It will divert us as long as we are prepared to be mystified or outraged, but maintains its hold only by being more mystifying or outrageous: it has no lasting power. Hence the compulsion on every modernist to wade deeper and deeper into violence and obscenity: hence the succession of Parker by Rollins and Coltrane, and of Rollins and Coltrane by Coleman, Ayler and Shepp. In a way, it’s a relief: if jazz records are to be one long screech, if painting is to be blank canvas, if a play is to be two hours of sexual intercourse performed coram populo, then let’s get it over, the sooner the better, in the hope that human values will then be free to reassert themselves.”

      • Maybe you’d turn up early if the ‘play is to be two hours of sexual intercourse’?
        In the front row.

  18. I went for a job in the circus, the boss said, “So what do you do..?”

    I said, “I chew hammers.”

    He said, “Are you a professional..?”

    I said, “Not really, I’m just an ‘ammer chewer.”…..

  19. I work within the train engineering field “grease monkey”. The driving axles on a train are called master and slave drives. I can`t see it being changed any time soon as they are both dark and smelly! No discrimination there.

  20. Note to all our American cunters:

    You CANNOT graduate from High School. To be a graduate you need to have achieved a degree. American High Schools do not offer degree courses. By simply reaching the age when you stop going to High School does NOT make you a graduate. Same goes for kindergarten. Also, there are NO 2 year “Associate” degrees either. That’s a diploma at best.

    Thank you.

    • Aren’t most yanks in their 30s when they finish ‘senior high’?

      Hollywood always seems to cast 30-year-old cunts as high schoolers.

      The yanks fucked up the British school system by influencing the design of modern comprehensives.back in the 60s.

  21. Doesn’t matter what degree you have when there’s so few jobs available and the ones available pay out so poorly.

    Everyone banging on about STEM, meanwhile every managerial boomer cunt in suit is happy to pay bottom peanuts for foreign crapola who can’t do the job and can’t speak fucking English.

  22. My advice to any kjids looking at a degree in dancing, mincing, singing, doodling , cooking or watching telly is try getting a job frying chicken, mopping floora or wiping arses as that is probably where such degrees will lead.

    Prospective employers now ignore degrees with ‘studies’ in the title and refer back to a candidates’ A levell and GCSE grades.

    This is because so many idiots get let into university and pay the fees, but can’t spell their own names.

    • It took ages for me to get any job after my degree. Things only looked up after I took any qualifications after O’ levels off my CV and pretended I’d occasionally temped. I put down 3 years unemployment for my uni years and still got better results.

      • Unfortunately had similar experiences, was advised to leave the MBA and BSc off my CV.

      • The latter is good, like PPE (not the anti-covid sort), if you want to be a high-wanking politician. Although a degree in Law, and generally being a pompous cunt suffices.

  23. I’ve got a degree in Russian and Eastern European studies. Slightly pointless and I honestly think low-key alcoholism is what I got from the cunt – I could have learned Russian and Polish by immersion.

    Now, here’s what winds my cunt. I work as a journalist and I am cunt lucky to be able to do this. HOWEVER, what winds me up is that I’ve had to work fucking hard for this and it’s taken me years – unpaid internships, taught myself newswriting wah wah woe is me – to get to this position.

    Some CUNT from the university of Bumfucknowhere with a degree in MEEDJA STUDEEZ waltzes into an editorial job fresh out of uni.

    It’s bollocks.

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