Dead Pool (169)

Posted on by

Congratulations to me (General Tso’s Chiggun) for notching my first ever Deadpool win after correctly predicting that Glee actress Naya Rivera, who went missing last week, would be found dead. She was 33.

On to Deadpool 169

The rules:

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will be next to conk out.No duplicates allowed .It is first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s nominations (Like Black and White cunt frequently does)

2)Anyone who nominates the World’s oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored

3)It must be a newsworthy cunt we have heard of.

My picks (General Tso’s Chiggun):

Tom Smith (rugby)

George Alagiah

Dick Van Dyke

Mikhail Gorbachev

June Brown

92 thoughts on “Dead Pool (169)”

  1. Sir Chris Bonnington
    Sir Trevor McDonald
    David Jason
    Clint Eastwood
    Alan Bennett

  3. David Attenborough
    Alan Alda
    Gary Linekunt (please!)
    Alex Ferguson (cunt)
    John Major

  4. Leonard Fenton ( Dr Legg )
    Barbara Knox
    Julie Goodyear
    Stan Bowles
    Ratko Mladic ( freedom fighter )

  5. Colonel Tom Moore
    Ed Asner
    Val Kilmer
    Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull)
    Henry Kissinger

  6. President Moduro of Venezuela
    Barbara Windsor
    Prunella Scales
    Pierre Cardin
    Olivia De Havilland

  10. Bit jammy this one as I changed my pick of Andre Wisdom upon hearing that she was missing but I’ll take it.

    • Jammy? A very dubious “win” to say the least.
      Rule 1 states “will be next to conk out”. The key word is “will” which is suggestive of a future event.
      At the time it was announced she was missing the liklihood is she was already dead.
      Consequently nominating her when you did would not meet the rules.
      Shame on you, General.
      A stewards inquiry, court martial and demotion back to the ranks is called for.

      • We don’t know when she died though – for all we know she might still have been clinging onto life when I nommed her. Don’t throw a hissy fit because I took advantage of an opportunity.

      • Hardly a hissy fit, General. Merely stating the obvious.
        It’s true, the exact time of death is not known.
        However, what is known is that her son was found alone on her hired boat at around 5pm local time on 8 July (around 1am 9 July UK) after a search for it was started an hour earlier. The poor boy has reportedly told investigators that he saw his mum slip under the water and not resurface. Even though he is only 4 years old his version of events has to be considered a fact.
        Your nom was timed @ 11.14am on the 9 July UK, some 11 hours after the boat was first reported missing. That is a long time for her to have been holding her breath underwater.
        Face it General, you’re clutching at straws. The poor woman was almost certainly dead when you nommed her.
        Admit it, like a true officer and gentleman would, your “win” is highly questionable.

      • ” you’re clutching at straws”…as was Miss Rivera apparently.

      • I certainly agree I’ve pulled a dirty one Dick but as we don’t know the exact time she died there’s technically nothing to stop it from counting, and I took advantage of the loophole. Perhaps it would be sensible though to put a rule in against such things in future. My sincere apologies if I came across a bit caustic – certainly wasn’t my intention.

      • Should have the buttons and epaulettes ripped from your uniform and drummed out of the regiment. Damned disgrace sir!

      • Mind you, if you think this one is controversial take a look at Deadpool 108 from a few years back – the cunter that won it did so by nominating their neighbour’s cat.

      • Let’s just say I’m not above such methods if the loophole is there Freddie. 🙂

  12. Any holes a goal General, Great shot

    Jimmy carter
    Tina Turner
    Betty White
    Larry King
    Frank Williams F1

    • Cheers. Besides I suppose it’s nowhere near as controversial as the time when whatsthefuckingpoint won with next door’s cat – remember that one?

  13. Phil Lesh (Grateful Dead bassist)
    Vivien Campbell (Def Leppard)
    David Crosby (CSN)
    Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath)
    Willy Nelson (Cuntry singer)

  14. The queen.
    Charlie Zelenoff
    Ed sheerhan
    Jeremy Corbyn
    Dianne “aaaargh, my eyes” Abbot

  15. Surprised nobody bagged Big Jack Charlton.
    I saw his name in the pool a few times.

  16. Yoko fucking Ono
    Danglebert Pimpledick
    Kenny Lynch
    Graham Nash
    Lyndsey Buckingham

  17. Harvey Price
    Lily Allen
    Meghan Markle
    Jeremy Corbyn
    Some instagram ‘influencer’

    • Bollocks. Cuntflap already bagged Corbyn.

      I’ll have Katie Price instead.

      • When Harvey does cop it, the old slag Katie will cash in on him when he’s dead even more than she did when he’s alive. The bitch will probably sell tickets for his funeral. What a cunt.

      • She’ll have to sell tickets for the massive hole and coffin that’s going to be needed.
        Good shot GTC.
        I’ll have
        Roger Daltrey
        Brian May
        John Motson
        Jon Snow
        Kenny Sansom

  19. John Carpenter
    Al Leong
    Hal Holbrook
    Derren Nesbitt
    Chrissie Hynde

    Nice shootin’ General…

  21. The Dalai Lama
    Rupert Murdoch
    Diego Maradona
    Alex Ferguson
    Eve Marie Saint

    Well struck, Tso. No idea who this bint is.

    • Yegad, Somebody’s chavved my purple-faced Ferguson again. Píkeys, thieves, tinkering swine, etc

      I will have Dick van Dyke if he’s still alive.

  22. Brigitte Bardot
    Bobby charlton
    Patricia greene (The Archers)
    June spencer (The Archers)
    Max Baer Jr (Beverly Hillbillies)

    was going to trawl the interweb for the names of some rappers from the USA as they seem to get shot at a rate of at least once a week but can’t be arsed

  23. Arthur Scargill
    Juliette Gréco
    Helios Creed
    Renate Knaup-Kroetenschwanz
    Imelda Marcos

    • Marky Ramone
      Eric clapton
      Beast of Bolsover
      Harvey price
      Suzanne vega

      • Sorry miserable. Already bagged and tagged Harvey.

        How the hades did General guess Naya Riviera?

      • No probs Odin, first come first served etc
        If Harvey croaks gonna need a shipping container for a coffin!😁👍👍

      • Again, yes.

        If I win, that will be £100k of taxpayer cash per year saved on the special licky bus that Harvey needs to transport it from Sussex to a London ‘special’ school every day.

        Mostly where it spends it’s time being restrained from raping the fridge.

        On top of all the other shit that it’s whore of a mother claims for.

        Her loss. Our gain. 😁

  26. Tony Blair Back to old CuntyMort. Please Lord, him and his Mrs at once please
    Cherie Blair
    Anita Harris
    Cliff Richard
    Gorge Takei
    Good darts General Tso’s Chiggun

  27. Stanley Baxter
    Bill Ward
    John Astin
    Luke Rhinehart
    Dickie Davies

    Bang on, General.

  28. William Shatner.
    Bill Wyman.
    Billy Idol.
    Lady C.#
    Norman Lloyd. (Ha got him back).

  29. Eddie Richardson
    Freddie Foreman
    Sammy The Bull Gravano
    John Gotti Junior
    Tony Green (Bullseye)

  30. J R Hartley
    Captain Birdseye
    Peter North (Porn actor)
    Steve ‘Stop Brexit’ Bray
    Polly fucking Toynbee

Comments are closed.