The Pope is due a cunting. I don’t know if anyone has ever nominated the Pontiff before, but I’m doing it now, because his recent pronouncement has pissed me off. Pope Francis has declared it to be his belief that the Flu Manchu, far from being the fault of the Chinese and their disgusting food hygiene standards, is actually caused by climate change. Yes, you read that right. Earth’s changing climate is to blame for a deadly respiratory virus. It just happened to start in China. Quite how the climate is responsible he doesn’t say, but it is. And then people wonder why I’m an Atheist. Greta Thumb up her arse must be kicking herself that she didn’t think of that.
That has got to be THE most retarded claim regarding the current pandemic that I’ve heard so far. Earth’s changing climate had absolutely NOTHING to do with Kung Flu. Poor hygiene practices, the lies of the Chinese Communist Party and their lapdogs the WHO are responsible for the worldwide spread of this disease. And the subsequent tens of thousands of deaths are entirely on them.
Pope Francis should stick to talking about his sky fairy, rather than coming out with dipshit claims about a subject he clearly knows nothing about. So, without further ado. Pope Francis, you are a cunt.
Quick Draw McGraw
And Jesus said . . . . . . .” Suffer the little viruses to come unto me, for they are all
God’s little creatures and they shall inherit the earth”
And they did.
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And then the tiddlywinks fried them up in wok to a horrible death.
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And the Lord spake unto them saying, “Even thou doth be head of thouest household and sole bread winner, thou time has come and thou shall perish. Thou wife will beist unable to cope and willist be rent asunder in mental anguish and despair. Thy children willist be taken from this place unto foster care and never willist be seen or heardeth from again”.
Remember god loves you and only wants the best for you. Right?
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I bet God is upstairs rolling his eyes and saying “shut up you stupid cunt”.
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Is this the one who competed Bullseye in the 1980s or the one who was in the Hitler Youth? Silly me, I’m always confused. The Chînk Virus makes all religions embarrassingly transparent, doesn’t it. Do prayers work if the gullible idiots aren’t all congregated under one roof? Why aren’t my prayers working? Why would a loving God send such a virus? Are churches desperate to open because of empty collection plates?
Oh and look, here’s the head of the Catholic ones clothed in the correct fancy dress and attempting to divert the above embarrassments away, preaching his empty-eyed beliefs, spouting inherited nonsense, and mumbling jabberwocky laments in Latin.
Here’s my pocket Bible for Pope Fuckwit IX:
Once upon a time there was nothing. Then a whole load of stories were made up by cunts. The End.
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Always feel bad for Miles and mr Polly when we do Catholicism or christianity.
So Ill choose my words carefully.
Dont know why the pope would say that coronovirus is to do with climate change and not be brave enough to say the truth and point the finger at China, but suspect hes not a brave man anyway.
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You shouldn’t feel bad for them Miserable; Christians love suffering for their faith. You should be happy for them.
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Hahaha☺
Ruff, your a wicked man.
But I like you.
N.I.A.G.Y.
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Although I am a Catholic I don´t object at all to criticism of the Pope or the Church. Coming from Glasgow, where FTP, i.e. Fuck The Pope, was painted on the walls everywhere, l am used to it. I also regard the present Pope as a dithering time waster but the Christian message will live on when he is gone.
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Years ago a work colleague told me that he passed a site in Glasgow where a mosque was being constructed. Some wag had sprayed ‘no Pope in Scotland’ on the wall.
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Nobody should visit this site of they’re easily offended, whether they’re a päki, jëw, hômo, muzlim, Catholic, loony leftie, Leaver, Remainiac, hippy, Tory, greenie, lycra-clad cyclist, film fan, Northern monkey, Southern softie, feminist or farmer cunt.
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Who are you calling a Southern Softie?
Right….I’m going to finish my shandy and you and me are going outside to settle this. Cuuuuuuuuut!
😂😂😂
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ImYa – I’m right there as soon as I neck this sherry.
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I think the Hitler Youth one was Ratfink. Got a putty medal at the Nuremberg Cycle Rally.
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HBH,
Ratfink got a reach-a-round from Tony Blair allegedly, under the frock.
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CM, has anyone (esteemed cunters excepted, natch…) NOT had a reach-round fron Miranda-Tone ??!
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Also, I believe Ratfink’s brother (sounds like a Bernie Gunther novel) was a choirmaster/organist, so poss some dubious mileage in that….
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God apparently said.
‘Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.’
Seems to be clear to me, some say the Catholic Church is Satan, it’s certainly not so Christian under the commie cardinal.
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‘Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.’
Well it’s clearly not in the Catholic Church. It loves things that are in the world so much it’s worth $30 billion!
The Pope’s ring alone is worth $650,000.
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That much! I’m surprised he lets anyone kiss it!
😊
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Theyd have to pry my teeth open to get that ruby back!!☺
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Talking about kissing the pope’s ring and no one’s done a schoolboy grooming/molest@tion joke?
Super powers of restraint, guys. Well done.
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I am unable to as I am currently stuck in my Northern monkey tree! 😁
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This may have been posted before but still:
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
The Chīnkiēs eat them all!
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About time this silly grinning cunt in a frock started answering some questions. Like why did God create the coronavirus? Well he created everything else didn’t he? You can’t have it both ways. And he’s all-knowing so the suffering and death it’s causing won’t have come as any surprise to him, right? And he’s all-powerful, so he could stop it just like that, so why doesn’t he?
And don’t come it with any of that ‘God moves in mysterious ways’ crap.
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It’s all pre-planned, Allan. Everything is written. Everything is His Will. Which means, He created a load of slaves to worship Him day and night and if they shall disobey Him, they shalt be punished and burn in Hell forever. Not vain at all.
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Quick Draw McGraw, is sky fairy similar to fireplace fairy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGYuobZLr7M
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THAT was awesome. Laughed my arse off. Just brilliant. Thanks for that, Spoons.
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For the past 22 years I have practised Sihkism although I was baptised Catholic…sorry. Sarcasm. I have practiced sarcasm for the past 22 years…..we got worse shit to worry about in the Catholic church than left of field theories…such as all the pervert priests…..CUNTS!
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Admin, should I have called them mr pervert priests?
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Is verity and truth in thought and words or in the person? I’m Mr fucked if I know….
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Everything in moderation…except moderation ! Ok so putting Mr in front of a word doesn’t necessarily ease moderation. Admin, please may I have a list of phrases that I should avoid so that I dont have to sit in this cell bouncing the ball against the wall like Mr McQueen. Ta x
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Daz@
Pêrvërt is a trigger word.
One of many.
Who was the lead singer of the Talking Heads?
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Tee hee, naughty you are MNC! I think I have worked out most of the trigger words, usually by falling foul of them! 😁
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Ive found most of them Foxy problem is remembering them!
Some get me time and time again.
Dòcüment being the worst.
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It took me ages to work out jüdgemént is a trigger word.
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I was taught from an early age never to talk about another man’s woman, politics, religion or football team if you wanted an argument free conversation…”Hows that fat Budha, socialist, chelsea fan cunt of wife doing? Heard Terry was shagging her. Happy New Year!”…..
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The big news in the Catholic world at the moment is Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has let ‘rip’ about Gay Marriage amongst other things. He said: ‘A century ago, anyone would have thought it absurd to talk about homosexual marriage. Today those who oppose it are excommunicated from society,”
I think we would all agree with that. Even if we would not like it to be known that it was said by a Pope.
Pope Emeritus Benedict XVl no…Emeritus Pope Benedict XVl no…Pope Benedict XVl Emeritus…maybe.
Francis is not always clear. I think he is saying it is a ‘symptom’ of all this Environmental damage. Not actually the cause. Is there a difference.
Anyway I think he should be replaced by Greta. There was supposed to have been s female pope; Pope Joan.
She’d look very cute on the throne of Peter with a little mitre on her head.
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Miles, by mentioning Joan, was there any hint of subconscious thought re burning at the stake ?
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HBH my only thought every hour of the day-our modern day Joan of Arc-
Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg.
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Look it’s not hard is it , he peddles lies in the guise of religion ergo he’s a CUNT.
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In the bible, god is responsible for the plagues and all the bad shit that befalls mankind. All the devil seems to have going for him is orgies and shit heavy metal bands.no wonder that there is little difference to preying and grovelling.
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When you believe in sky fairies, yopu can belive in anything. If His Holiness believes in Global Warminmg , and that it cauised the virus, then quite frankly, that is very much in keeping with his churches belief in a supernatural, risen from the dead who is both God and his son , ( both at the same time ) and that he and he alone created everything by unknown means.
For fucks sake ! Its the dumb asses who follow this shit up the alleyway to their own arseholes that amaze me.
Popes are cunts, and I don’t give a fuck if he is Gods Vicar, we all know about dodgy rogering vicars! Pope, yer a cunt!
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Note to self. Need new key board.
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The church is founded on the words of God, before organised religion God would often speak directly to men when he felt the need.
Now God apparently doesn’t bother communicating with his children directly, he relies on the Pope and such to tell you what they think God wants. Currently God wants socialism according to the pope.
Since the beginning of the Catholic Church God’s remained silent, maybe that’s because the mafia crucified him and set up the unholy fraud in Rome.
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He must have been puffing on the wacky backy, unless God has told him that’s how it was created.
Maybe God created it to punish us for fucking up the planet, nah, he is God so he would have just wiped us out in one Big Bang and then started again.
What a cunt!
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The Pope has always been a massive cunt.
Fucking pointless twat.
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He’s a hypocrite. He cares about the persecution of Christians but also welcomes muslim migrants in their thousands.
Does this moron not understand: if you invite thousands of non-Christians who have a high birth rate into a below replacement rate society, THERE WONT BE ANY CHRISTIANS!
TWAT!!
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They’re different cults. They groom different groups.
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Are you questioning the word of Christ’s divine representative on Earth? He’s infallible, doncha know.
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Just another part of the Establishment elite. They’re all lying to us so one more liar makes no difference. The liars and their lies don’t matter. What matters is the swamp donkeys who swallow their bullshit.
Cunts.
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If god was real, surely he would break his silence to publicly disown the seemingly uncuntable David Icke as his son?
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Yes – the Establishment seem to be using the “recovery” as a front for all sorts of eco-lunacy. Sucdick Kunt is going to make all Londoners ride bicycles or something. I also heard some Government “advisers” talking about destroying industry to meet green targets. Everyone made redundant due to the Chink Flu can get well paid jobs as tree-planters. For fuck’s sake. We’ve had it – I may as well shoot myself now as I don’t want to live like that.
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Fuck that I do enough already. Don’t want extra tree planting I’m sick of the sight of seedlings
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I prefer Pepsi to Popa Cola if I had to make a choice. And I am always confused – is the Pope Santa as well or is that someone else?
If religion doesn’t hurt me crack on, but not helpful fuckwits like Frankie boy coming out with sh*t like this – reminds me of Pope John Paul (now Saint) the second saying using condoms caused AIDS, or the wartime Pope assisting the n*zis in shovelling Jews into A*schwitz.
What other area of life could people be venerated and incredibly well paid for spouting dangerous nonsense? Shall we ask the “Labour” party?..
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Pepsi Max for me…but I’m a fat cunt 😄
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One of my ancestors was Phillip the Magnanimous who greatly enhanced the Protestant cause. One has to hurrah the family history occasionally.
Without the letter of Protest (which is how we achieved the word Protestant), we’d be no better than the Irish, or the Italians, or the Poles. Catholicism is the scarlet and purple whore of Babylon. The Glorious Revolution of 1688 rid England of the last bloody Catholic king or queen and the later Bill of Rights ensured no dodgy Catholic would ever be allowed to succeed to the throne.
We can, therefore, dispense with this foppery and enjoy our liberty from the Catholic monstrosity. The break from Rome was the first, proper Brexit.
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He has the face of a stand-up comedian. Look again and tell me I’m wrong.
These delusional religious types. No doubt when the vaccine is discovered, it’ll be touted as a miracle and a gift from god. Conveniently glossing over that since god creates all things, then god created the Kung Flu in the first place. So it wasn’t the Chinese after all?????????
Why is it that people’s gods only get credit for the good things that happen and never the bad? Hmmmmmm……Could it be – and I just throw this out there – it’s all complete bullshit?
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Vaccine? Of all existing Corona virus’s there’s never been a vaccine, including the common cold.
If they develop a vaccine for Covid-19 within months I’d be suspicious of it.
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Hey 6DV –
It’s interesting that no one seems to be saying there won’t ever be a vaccine. The expectation and belief is there will be and it’s only a matter of time. I wonder if this is, as you suggest, more hope than certainty.
The common bastard cold keeps infecting people each year because the bastard mutates. Same with the ‘flu. Odd that religious types deny evolution when crap like viruses are evolving all the fucking time.
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Just to add more doom and gloom, American scientists have recently suggested one particular mutation of Covid – (D614G) – is becoming dominant and could make the disease more infectious. The MSM have got nothing on me!
Evening IY.
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Evening Sir Bert.
Well that is crap news indeed. The stay-at-home order expired here on April 30 and a new ‘directive’ to wear face masks while out in public was put in its place. Houston Police Department immediately responded by saying they wouldn’t enforce that and the Mayor of Houston subsequently suggested it was advisable, but wouldn’t prosecute for non-participation. Adjacent counties have said they will not introduce the face mark thing.
Meanwhile, the easing of lockdown conditions continues with restaurants now open again albeit with limited capacity. Salons, barbers and mani/pedi places can re-open on Friday.
My point is, round my way the sheeple are reverting back to pre-virus habits and behaviour. Not that they strayed that far from them to begin with. It’s like it never happened. Quite scary.
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I can rely on your American updates, unlike the UK media!
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The US is different beast for sure IY, I’m assuming different states can ease/stricter lockdown measures from state to state?
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Evening LL –
Yes, you are correct my friend. It’s very much a state-to-state thing here. It would be like Sussex doing something different from Hampshire, which is different from what Kent does and so on.
Some states have got it badly wrong. Remember back in March when there was outrage at Florida having their beaches open for Spring Break? Comes to find out, Florida’s response to Kung Flu has been the most successful of any state. Lowest infection and death rates. At the other end of the insanity spectrum we have Michigan, whose governor has imposed such strict lockdown measures that you’re not allowed over a certain number of people in your own home, including family members. You can’t cut your own lawn. Practically all businesses are shutdown with weird nonsensical exceptions.
The demos and protests have started across the country as Americans have begun to demand the easing of the lockdowns. Fair enough, but some of the rallys have seen people show up with long guns, military style clothing, etc. I mean really? Ugh! Sometimes the Yanks can be a bit over the top.
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Yep IY, it seems in a time of national emergency the gun sales rocket. Distrust of government, armed militias, conspiracy theories, and an election year is one hell of a shitstorm brewing up.
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New from the Vatican. Wash your sins away with the new improved
Soap-Ona-Pope-Ona-rope-a.
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Blessed are the cheese makers.
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You’ve been eating those Cheeses from Nazareth again Spoons, just before going to bed!
😀
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“Good trip Joe”?
“F*cking hard 12 Months that was, working away and all – JUST A FUCKING MINUTE – how come you are knocked up Mary?
“You will not believe this, but God appeared as a ray of light and got me pregnant”..
“I hear you love – must have been the same b*stard that magically er, gave me chlamydia and syphilis – gets around doesn’t he”?
“Er, yes Joe”.
Dumbest thing in the World trying to get a room at that time of Year – they must have known everywhere would be booked solid at Christmas!
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Aye, Bertie. 🙂 I hope you and your Percy are well.
I saw this
http://weirdlystrange.com/2015/12/01/food-artist-makes-baby-jesus-nativity-scene-completely-out-of-cheese/
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On a lower-fat note, how do you approach a famous Welsh cheese ?
Carefully….
I’ll get my sheepskin…
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I really do not understand why you think this is so strange. After all, this man has spent his whole life in the service of a mythical being, and a church that worships the same.
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