You heard it here first from the IsAC News team.

Slightly worrying news from the South China sea area, the Chinks have officially fucked off a US aircraft carrier from the area, followed by a general come back and we will shoot at you.

The area in question is a patch of sea with a number of bumps in it, some man made in an area bursting with oil.

The Philippines, Taiwan, Vietnam , Burma? and China contest the territory in a hope to claim the resources.

There you go much more interesting than Covid 19 and yes China now has a sea borne capability which never used to have (Quote Albanian China war, least bloody war in history as they could not get at each other).

An extra special lockdown cunting for Dame Emma Thompson, that most excruciating of multi-millionaire luvvie activists.

Not content with flying First Class across the Atlantic to appear at last years’ Extinction Rebellion shitfest, Dame Cuntson has once again excelled herself in her attempts to be named Cunt of the Year.

Sadly if you thought this sack of shit had disappeared down a used PPE cess pit you’d be wrong.

Declaring herself ‘a European’, Dame Emma and her equally cuntish luvvie husband, Greg Wise, made a big deal of departing “Misery-laden” Brexit Britain, at the end of February, for a new life in Venice.

Amidst much hoo-ha, Mr & Ms Thompson-Wise were declared citizens of Venice by high-ranking Italian officials.

Within a few days however, Italy went into lockdown, and the lovely couple duly fucked off back to…..you’ve guessed it, good old Blighty..

Not just any old part of the UK however, no-no: Emma and Greg headed for her remote highland hideaway on the banks of Lock Eck. So they went from Covid-ridden Italy to rural Scotland to seek shelter, giving not a fuck for anyone else’s welfare. Just a few weeks later, the UK and Scottish Governments declared the use of second homes as unacceptable, indeed illegal.

There are cunts and there are cunts. Dame Emma is a cunt of true Champions League proportions.

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

Wasps

A few days of April sunshine and all of a sudden these buzzing stripy cunts appear out of nowhere. They’re like those Romanian windscreen cunts who hang around junctions with the lights on red so that they suddenly appear next to your car with an oily sponge and a bucket of dirty water splattered all over your windscreen and then expecting you to cough up a fiver for the privilege.

Wasps are cunts, and I don’t care what the ecologists or environmentalists may say about how important they are in the food chain etc. I couldn’t give two fucks quite frankly – they’re cunts, and aggressive little cunts at that. Especially when you have the windows wide open on a hot Spring day, and the cunts slip in unnoticed like a Booshka/Pikey about to raid your home!

Sometimes you can hear them buzzing around in your bedroom, but you can’t see them, but you know they’re there somewhere! And you can’t settle down until you know you’ve found it and either splattered it and/or turfed it back out of the window.

Wasps are the chavs of the insect world: they serve no purpose, always feed off the backs of others, are noisy, have no class, thick as shit and utter utter cunts!

Nominated by Technocunt

Psychopaths

I saw a fascinating film recently about the Hare Psychopathy Checklist method used to profile psychopaths.

The Checklist covers aspects common to psychos such as superficial charm, self-importance, incessant lying, manipulating people, never feeling remorse etc.
It is now the standard method for dealing with psychos who, incidentally, may be suffering from a brain disorder rather than be just potentially violent selfish individuals.

The film claimed that as many as one in five people could be psychos and therefore walking time bombs. So watch out where you leave your axes, drills and power tools and get ready to back off quickly if your good wife starts glaring daggers at you as she starts to sharpen a carving knife. Also, don´t look too closely in the mirror the next time you are shaving as you might see a psycho looking back at you.

Here is a link for you to try out the test yourself. I trust the Earl of Northumberland, Dick Fiddler of That Ilk, will let us know how he fared.
https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/psychopathy-quiz/

Nominated by Mr Polly

Sly News are doing this thing whereby they bring us news of the lockdown from various cities across the UK. Several families in a particular street in that particular city ‘tell their story’.

Well, where did they start? Leeds. One of the more ‘diverse’ cities in the UK, not that I would have an issue with it. Until they mentioned the first family.

‘Hi. I’m a housewife with six children,’ said Nazra or whatever her unnecessary name was.

Family of people of peace.

Cue blood boiling and steam emanating from my ears.

CUNTS!

Nominated by Dark key cunt