Piers Morgan (9)

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May I please nominate that purile arse irritant Piers Morgan ! The Clown Gobshite know all about fuck all, who indulges his mouthwash each and every fucking morning on that horrific cunt of a programme watched by fucking wimmin!
Piers must be the ultimate hippocritical fifty faced twat, and it is that kind of cunt that I would like to take a bat to!

During the current crisis, this twat has bellowed enormous amounts of know all fuck all shite across our breakfast tables, and caused much annoyance to my pet budgie!

The sooner this goon gets a dose of something quite horrid the better, and his passage into history will mirror the passage of a mammoth turd en-route via the shit pipe to the sea!

Morgan, yer a cunt !

Nominated by Asimplearsehole

A lights-camera-action-where’s-Philip-Schofields-handbag?-duckie cunting please for man about the make-up mirror Morgan. At one time content to be a newspaper editor doctoring photographs to tie in with his view of things, these days the great man spends his time slagging off Alan Sugar and other minor TV stars, but today he has set his sights higher on politics:

Yes this flabby faced arsewipe wants a Conservative government to employ another flabby faced Labour arsewipe – the man who “put an end to boom and bust” and went over like the coward he was to tie us more firmly to the EU “after hours” when PM, to “help” the country. Broon meddling in government would be as advisable as having Jimmy Savile run a youth club.

Nominated by W.C.Boggs

86 thoughts on “Piers Morgan (9)”

  1. What sort of ducky name is piers?
    Sounds suspiciously French and therefore effeminate.
    Anyway,stick to knowing everything on a tv sofa,
    Uour just a hack journalist who occasionally gets it right,
    We dont want that cyclops Brown, no one does! Not even his missus.
    So wind yer fuckin neck in yer big bummer.

    • Ps
      By the way, happy Easter to all ISAC cunters, also to Admin, but especially to the Christian ISACs (who take a lot of shit)
      Miles Plastic, mr Polly an BWC.
      All easter eggs unclaimed to Miserables chocolate charity ,
      Stockport.
      The Beautiful North.

      • Happy Easter Miserable.

        Maybe we should have a ‘Clap for Admin’? They might shed a tear if they knew that we were clapping for them.

        👏

      • As Jesus said around this time “keep yer hands off me Easter eggs c*nts – I’ll be back Monday”!

      • He’s from Wigan, Piers is short for Pie eaters.
        Stick yer Easter religious bollocks where the sun don’t shine.
        Evening MNC….😄

      • Evening Crusty!
        Little chicks, fluffy ducklings, little lambs frolicking in the fields, easter eggs, trees full of blossom,blockbuster films on telly, I like easter.
        Might have a nice chilled glass of chianti from the cellar later and listen to the proms.
        Stay True!✊😉

      • Thank you MNC. I really appreciate that. We Papes have a virgil tonight then celebrate Easter tomorrow. After almost seven weeks of Lent without a drink I will be having a bevvy tomorrow. Happy Easter to all ISACers.

      • You’re having a virgil? Sounds a bit suspect. He was in Thunderbirds wasn’t he?

      • He was in ‘In The Heat Of The Night’.

        “Virgil—that’s a funny name for a nîgger boy that comes from Philadelphia! What do they call you up there?”

        “They call me Mr Tibbs!”

        😂

        Seemed like a nice boy though.

    • his real name is – Piers Stefan Pughe-Morgan O’Meara – cunting just for the name

  2. He put British soldiers in even more danger in Iraq with his false reporting. What kind of a person does that without knowing 100% if it’s true? Even if it was true, you know you will be putting innocent lives in danger. A sanctimonious prick who when confronted with the truth i.e Tommy Robinson, would not let him make his point of view. Piers Morgan, Pierced Organ more like (thanks Viz).

    • Piers the comedy monkey and token ITV bad guy. When Piers acts like a c*nt he gets to be a Millionaire – when I act like a c*nt I get arrested (White Man possible thought crime!) – but hey, nice mansion Piers! 👍
      I have been a talentless big mouthed obnoxious b*stard all my life (ask anyone!) – where’s my job on TV?

  5. Morgan is a total cunt , all he and that old slag Susannah Reid have done is try to stir things up from day one . He thinks he is the voice of the people with his crackpot ideas . Everyone knows he has had his tongue stuck up Blairs asshole for years but asking him to take over the country at a time of crisis is beyond belief , even for him . Why the fuck would we want Blair to take over , he was one of the most over rated and devious prime ministers we ever had , prime cunt more like .
    Lets not forget Morgan was part of the phone hacking scandal as well , holier than though wanker

  6. I saw Morgan rip into Peter Hitchens when he had the temerity to question the Government lockdown and say that the economic consequence of this badly thought out plan will have untold misery for all of us for a very long time after . I totally agreed with Peter Hitchens views but Morgan went into overdrive and accused him of being insensitive to the people who have died as a result of the Virus. Which was not the point he was making. It seems that anyone that questions what is happening At the moment gets treated like some kind of heretic.

    • It’s also strange that while the NHS is now virtually canonised, the police are as demonised as they ever were. Both have terribly demanding jobs, especially at this time. But will the cozzers get ‘clapped’ and rainbow pictures for doing their bit? and doing their best to keep order? Will they fuck as like. As usual, it is the dribbling demented left and their media accomplices that are telling us what it and what isn’t OK and following what is trendy and the cool and virtuous thing to do. And this crisis is no different where that is concerned….

      • A friend tells me there were some WPO Mounties around in Cardiff… Wish I’d seen them, I remember them being hot blonde fuzz… Haven’t seen them for yonks.

      • If I have a problem with the Police and they ask my name I will just say “Mohammed” – now why are you being so racist”? No more problem there I feel! 😀👍💩
        If they ask me what I am doing I will tell them I am a key worker building quarantine shelters – “Ahmed Ashed”.
        Or failing that just ask how much they fined Stephen Kinnock, Jack Grealish, Kyle Walker, Robert Jenrick or Catherine Calderwood – because we’re all in this (Range Rover) together, apparently.
        On other news – I am thinking of buying a pair of socks.

      • True, Vernon. But if there’s a bunch of chav knobheads congregating and taking the piss during this lockdown, the bogies come in handy…. And if the dibble twatted a few of these scrotes and rule breaking riff raff, I would certainly applaud them…

      • Agreed Norman, scratters and chavs making life harder for everyone – but the Police did not do a thing to the Eastern Europeans doing exactly the same where I live and refused to come out when I mentioned this to them.
        And of course we could never approve of plod handing out random clubbings to the Burberry dole warriors! 😀

      • I fucking weep for the police, I really do. However, there is a group called ‘Hit The Ambulance Gamers’ who ‘Hit’ ambulance crews with chocolate and treats and they do the same for the police, too. The same cuhts that slag them off are the same cunts that’ll call them quick enough.

  8. He seems to be an unpopular cunt doesn’t he? Clarkson hates him, Viz has his Pierced d’Organ column and every other fucker thinks he’s a cunt.
    He must be doing something right.

  12. Fuck face Morgan makes a living out of making controversial remarks and being rude to his “guests” to wind people up and draw attention to himself. He’s not a serious journalist, just a cunt who wants to be the story and the headline. His Brown bullshit is a case in point, nobody in their right mind could take that seriously. Just ignore the wanker……….and if you watch trash tv first thing in the morning you’re a bigger cunt than he is.

    • I’ve got to admit to watching GMB in the morning. But only to pause a close up shot of Susanna Reid’s face then grab a quick one of the wrist whilst the missus is in the shower. Cunt of a woman with totally fucked up woke views, but boy would I steam into her chocolate whizzway given even half a sniff.

    • We’d do a much better job of being rude and controversial than Piers!
      10 minutes, thats all Id need!
      Susanah crying, phonelines jammed, show over, early dart.
      He should aim at the snowflakes sacred cows
      Racism=promote it
      Sexism= practise it
      Homophobia= mock them
      Socialism= hang em
      Soon liven things up.

      • “And that huge Man Mr Miserable said I was a dumb annoying clothes horse Piers! Throw him out of the studio”!
        “Actually Spewsanna, I’ll just run out really quickly, to, er, get security” 😭
        “Piers – you snivelling coward! Now – who wants to see my knickers – the last time I showed a boy my knickers I ended up working in television”!

  13. Crimes against budgies should carry a minimum 10 year sentence – i could live without Piers Dickhead for ever – the cunt

  14. Piers Morgan and Jeremy Clarkson …. separated-at-abortion twins who manage to give the the deaf a reason to feel grateful for their disability.

    • Evening DF – get those workshy English chavs in the fields at the end of a Holland and Holland Sir – we need our asparagus!
      I find it a great source of personal embarrassment we have English people who will not work for a living and Eastern Europeans who will.

      • I must admit that I have doubts about this appeal for a ” Land Army” to help pick the veg…..with the best will in the world I don’t think that many of them will have any idea of just what hard work it is. A group of people moaning after a couple of hours of work will be worse than useless.
        All respect to them for giving it a try but if one in every 30 is actually capable, I’ll be surprised.

        Evening Vernon.

      • Land Army@
        Bend over touch your toes.
        Now do it 3000 times.
        Back feeling bit stiff?
        Me too and im just sat watching in my film directors chair!
        Tall lads like me would suffer, better in the orchards.
        Cant we get dwarves to do the spuds?
        Each to his skill set etc..

      • Vegans to feed the pigs perhaps?…..I don’t mean feed them with a bucket,I mean actually become pig food. Pigs’ll scoff anything,even whiffy sacks of shite that nobody wants in their house.

      • See? Everyone has a part to play.
        Thats team work.
        Get in the sty Tarquin pigs wont feed themselves.
        😉

      • View of a Pig Ted Hughes

        The pig lay on a barrow dead.
        It weighed, they said, as much as three men.
        Its eyes closed, pink white eyelashes.
        Its trotters stuck straight out.

        Such weight and thick pink bulk
        Set in death seemed not just dead.
        It was less than lifeless, further off.
        It was like a sack of wheat.

        I thumped it without feeling remorse.
        One feels guilty insulting the dead,
        Walking on graves. But this pig
        Did not seem able to accuse.

        It was too dead. Just so much
        A poundage of lard and pork.
        Its last dignity had entirely gone.
        It was not a figure of fun.

        Too dead now to pity.
        To remember its life, din, stronghold
        Of earthly pleasure as it had been,
        Seemed a false effort, and off the point.

        Too deadly factual. Its weight
        Oppressed me—how could it be moved?
        And the trouble of cutting it up!
        The gash in its throat was shocking, but not pathetic.

        Once I ran at a fair in the noise
        To catch a greased piglet
        That was faster and nimbler than a cat,
        Its squeal was the rending of metal.

        Pigs must have hot blood, they feel like ovens.
        Their bite is worse than a horse’s—
        They chop a half-moon clean out.
        They eat cinders, dead cats.

        Distinctions and admirations such
        As this one was long finished with.
        I stared at it a long time. They were going to scald it,
        Scald it and scour it like a doorstep.

  15. Someone will give this cunt a fucking good twatting one day.
    I just hope it’s caught on camera.
    Pass the fucking popcorn.
    Get To Fuck.
    P. S. Fuck the little yellow Chinese bastards.
    Get To Fuck.

    • Evening Jack.
      I hope it’s Holly Willoughby who gives him a fucking good kicking. A series of coincidences cause her to eat some magic mushrooms during the filming of “Celebrity Juice” and she sees him sauntering along an ITV corridor, her hallucinogenic trip causing his face to morph into the face of her Uncle Bertram, who took her cherry whilst they were on a weekend break in Reykyavik. She didn’t fight him off with enough ferocity and the guilt has been eating away at her for 25 years.
      Somehow, a trowel finds its way into her hand and she eviscerates him brutally, as a gathered crowd laughs and spits on him.
      At some point during the fracas, her dress rides up and, as she never wears any underwear, our “collar and cuffs” suspicions are confirmed as her minge is blacker than Welsh coal and her pussy resembles a cat that has been run over by a pond-green Austin Allegro.

      • Good evening Thomas. I see that there has been no improvement in your condition.
        No surprises there.
        I have to say that you put forward a very interesting scenario, that, surprisingly, fails to include lesbian fisting altogether, an interesting departure.
        I detest Holly Willoughby, she reminds me of a younger version of a cousin of mine, whom I loathe immensely.
        Would I be right in assuming that there is a strong Dickie Fiddler influence on the Uncle Bertram character ?

      • I was picuring more of a Jonathan King, actually.
        Surely he’s the second creepiest looking päedo (after Savile), the slack faced perv.
        Patience, my fine fellow, plenty of time for lesbian fisting to make it into many a subsequent post; I wouldn’t wish to titilate you too much on a Saturday evening…is it Saturday or Good Friday? Been off work for so long I’ve lost track of the days.
        Are you self-isolating?

      • Good God no. The though of being in isolation with the missus, fills me with mortal dread.
        I’m afraid it wouldn’t end well.
        Jonathan King …….. hmmmmmm. Him and old ‘ Jingle Jangle Jewellery ‘ were an odious pair indeed.

      • Holly Willoughby… isn’t she a tranny?

        Or is that India Willoughby?

        I lose track of all these celebricunts.

      • Jesus Jack, you should of wrote books!
        👍👍
        Watching ‘the Gentlemen’ new Guy Ritchie film, pretty good.
        Lot of chinks get killed.
        Hes seen a upcoming trend.
        I approve.

      • Hold on apologies, misread the author, mr cunt engines work!👍
        Enjoyed that, Jack can be your agent.

      • Evening Jack,
        yes mr Cunt Engine has decadence seeping from every pore,
        Like mr Fiddler I fear they both skipped sunday school.
        As a righteous man who walks the path to glory I should disapprove of their shameful antics, but find them to be just too lovable in their cheeky ways.
        Although I cover the little ladies eyes when reading their posts.

      • I used to skip Sunday School and spend the collection money on sweets and chocolate, which I used to munch, whilst wanderingthe woods and fields.
        Happy days.
        Then I got kicked out.
        The good times were over.

      • Haha,escaping to the woods and fields has been a lifelong habit of mine too Jack.
        And thrown out of sunday school and the Cubs!
        The cubs was a mistrial of justice though an still feel cheated.
        Was tracking 2 deer yesterday, didnt see em but followed their track into a field where theyd slept the night, they were about 2minute walk from a main road, not sure why but they keep going back to this field, must be something attracting them?

      • Something tasty for them there perhaps, or maybe it’s a safe spot ?
        Who knows ?

      • I was very nearly ran over by a bloody roe yesterday, straight out the hedge at head height, missed by a couple of feet, if I wasn’t so hungover I probably would’ve had a heart attack!

  16. I managed to get my local greengrocer to sell me some of those large flat mushrooms.
    He doesn’t know that I’ve only got a small bed sit….

    • Fuck you JR , if you’re going to pull that one you can have this shit :
      What do you call a baguette in a cage in the zoo?
      Bread in captivity.

      Everyone’s a critic already!

      I’ll get me coat.

      • That’s nothing – bored senseless early this morning I fired my rifle at a fog bank!
        Mist..

  17. At the risk of receiving criticism of fellow cunters I think Jeremy Clarkson is a blokes bloke, and an extremely talented and witty writer. He has lived an absolutely fantastic life.

    Piers Morgan also makes me laugh at times especially when he takes the piss out of people who most deserve it, namely the woke/snowflake brigade, lefties, anti Brexiteers and gender fluid/gender neutral idiots. He also is not afraid to ask questions others shirk away from.

    But I do think he is a bully and a bit of a cunt sometimes.

  18. Morgan and his vastly over rated sidekick with the stumpy legs and fat arse keep bleating ‘we’re holding the government to account’.
    No you 3 chinned wanker you’re trying to make a name for yourself in the midst of a crisis.
    And stop calling sportsmen like Stokes and SBS army types like Ant Middleton ‘mate’ because you think it sounds laddish and working class.
    Loudmouth wanker.

  19. Piers Morgan’s face, at least that’s what I think he calls it 😀 reminds me of some kind of puzzle that you would find next to the piss easy crossword in a shitty TV Guide magazine.
    I’ve found four chins so far and I’m convinced there’s another one…

  20. Morgan’s like a fly around SHIT always looking for the biggest pile on which to settle , Now he’s championing the idea of exhuming Gordon brown to assist the government? Wtf
    Like most journalists Morgan fancies himself an expert on absolutely everything , the expression “ a little knowledge is a dangerous thing” was made for Morgan , he likes nothing more than playing devils advocate for his moronic morning audience but his latest idea is beyond foolish and should be instantly dismissed ……
    let political cadavers brown Blair and major
    RIP…….

  21. If memory prevails, this fucking prick tried his best to talk down to Peter Hitchens…..You made an arse of yourself mate. Sorry.

  22. Advice, please.
    Last night, one of the nurses I work with (who was not even on the rota) started swearing and shouting at me calling me all sorts of names and generally being loud,sarcastic and sneering.
    I called the service lead and sent her a statement to the effect that I do not feel comfortable with him working in the same building.

    This utter ming mong colonial cousin is beyond useless. He fucked up the rota so badly yesterday there were 3 people doing the same thing simultaneously, nurses booked who left years ago. In addition, he booked someone thicker than himself, did not reflect it on the rota and she could not enter the building (secure site) because he had not made the correct arrangements and he called me incompetent!

    I have asked that he be investigated for gross misconduct.

    It has left me feeling very on edge.

    How dare this spazmatronic Africunt gimmigrant think he can speak to people like that?

    CUNT.

    Good morning

  25. Piers Morgan.
    I think if you say his name backwards he should poof into thin air.

    Nagrom Sreip.

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