50 thoughts on “Idiots abroad.”

1. Fuck knows what all that is about but I like Frogs 🐸. Frogs are nice. We need more Frogs 🐸 and fewer w**s.

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   • Good nom Dick👍
     Agree with all of it, but something to be said for stupidity of youth,
     But fuck em, next doors kid is backpacking in Australia at moment in lockdown, but perfectly ok, Australians are just like us, but if theyre in Africa? Best adopt another kid and take down the photos in the living room.
     Rupert?
     Other day heard a mum cycling tell her young son “this way Rupert!”
     Heehee, fairplay in oxford but Stockport?
     Maybe its the Johnny Cash ‘boy named Sue’ thing?
     Give him a gaylord name to toughen him up?

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     • Talking of unsuitable names…a friend introduced me to his toddler daughter…a dumpy,moon-faced,singularly unappealing child..as it waddled it’s way across to meet me he announced “This is Tinkerbelle”….Fucks Sake.I just managed to stop myself from suggesting that “Heffalump” might be a slightly more suitable name.

       Mornomg,MNC.
       Morning,All.

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     • Morning Dick👍

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     • I have to fight the urge to giving parents a weathered eye and an ‘Are you sure’ when they announce their offsprings name, now and again.

       Pretentious/thick cunts.

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     • Butt fuck the youth, Miserable? 😜

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     • Heehee, if you can catch them, yeah!!😁

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     • A quality cunting from a quality cunter

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2. Apparently Australia has ordered all backpacker types home….when they are flown back they should all be set to work in the fields gathering crops. They should not be paid…I have my eye on a new Range Rover and horsebox which I need to get to Meets when the Hunting season restarts…paying these returning backpackers would eat into my admittedly already vast profits and mean that I couldn’t also afford a new horn to tootle when a fox goes to ground.

   @ Won’tSomebodyPleaseThinkOfTheVastLandowners.

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   • What abaaaaaht the one’s who return who live in london? Can’t expect them to travel to the countryside and work, after all there had been a massive drop in clients in my brothel due to clients not wanting contact. I’ve had to move into the supply and demand business so better they do some no contact class A drop offs for me in London…after all my new Black Man Wagon (BMW) won’t pay for itself.

     Diversification is the way forward, re dress the girls and clients.

     https://www.xvideos.com/video36089849/gas_mask_doomsday_sex

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     • You’re correct,B+WC….the trouble is that so many people just don’t stop to consider the problems that this crisis is causing to us “Considerably richer than you” types.
       If this keeps up I might have to dip into the huge pile of ready cash that I have salted away under my Billiards Room floor. I accumulated it by doing lots of Cash-in-hand tree-jobs. I’m shitting myself that the Govt. is going to use this national emergency to do away with cash….I’ll have to sit of an evening chucking bundles of 50 pound notes onto the fire in my drawing-room…of course I already do it with common 20 pound notes but 50s? well,that would hurt.

       We businessmen are the backbone of this Country,B+WC…the Govt. should give us all a medal the size of a frying-pan and a bucket full of gold sovereigns.

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     • It’s a sad situation Mr Fiddler, I’ve had to leave my Notting Hill flat which has recently been decorated in classic Craig And Rose paint and which also houses my multi thousand pounds music studio.
       I am now in my spare flat in the west country, can’t complain though…there is a nice river to walk along nearby and the air is fresh.
       I’ve been looking at my stacks of cash and thinking ‘I ain’t spending a penny’…I think I’ll ditch my Aquascutum garments and put on a tracksuit and go to the food bank (that’ll stock the cupboards) and after that get my accountant to look into what government money I can get.
       I’ve decided to act like Branson…’Why spend my own money, when I can ask and get the Governments money’.

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     • The depths to which we must sink in order to preserve our modest nest-eggs are truly horrifying,B+WC…I can only imagine the embarrassment of having to go to “The West Country”…..I will,of course,be protecting myself by staying in rural Northumberland…I feel I owe it to the Little People…their morale would be shattered if anything untoward should ever happen to me.

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     • B&WC, if you wait a bit, you might be able to get some “tasteful” (!!) Cath Kidston schmutter on the cheap…

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     • You’re missing out B&W.

       Kensington is as quiet as the grave and the air is actually breathable.

       Only the sounds of children playing wafting from the balconies can be heard.

       Its actually quite nice for a change.

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     • I find that a sword-length is an accurate measure of just how close the lower-classes should approach.

       Morning,Cuntflap.

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     • Thank you Admin, I’ll be getting Madam Olga to implement these new safety measures at Black and White Brothel.
       Business will be booming again.

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     • You are right DF, stay there and be a beacon of light and hope for them in these dark times…but use a stick to keep them at a safe distance. 😁

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     • Thanks for the tip HBH, I always like a bargain…can sell it to some of my ladies.

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     • @Odin’s Balls, I know was in town the other day before I left…Holland park avenue empty and Notting Hill Gate quiet. Would be nice to relax in Holland Park today but no doubt the police from Ladbroke Grove station are patrolling.
       I might pop back up for a couple of days but don’t tell anyone abaaaaaht it.

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3. I hope all the paki peacefulls get chinkypox . Cunts. Every fucking one.

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   • My crewmate today, a paramedic called Mohamad, says you’re a cunt. I’ll see which A&E consultant’s on at Big Hospital. If it’s the Muslim consultant, lovely bloke, shit-hot clinician, who does HEMS in his spare time, for free, I’ll see what he has to say.

     Don’t tar everyone with the same brush.

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     • They’re brown, haven’t they already been tarred to a degree?*

       *About 180 ° in Unkles oven.

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4. Yeah, well I’m sort of on board for this nom. However, I feel quite strongly that Phuket can’t be included in your list. I spend a huge amount of time there, and not where the tourists go. The locals are a very warm and friendly people, who mostly wish that these do-gooders would just fuckoff! As for these fucking gap year cunts, do us all a favour and use the fucking showers provided, dress appropriately, use some fucking manners and for fuck sakes stop wearing tie-dye clothes and fucking flip flops. They all seem to think dressing like a 60’s hippie is some uniform. It’s not! You don’t need to wear it so we can see you coming, we can fucking smell you. And stop ingratiating yourself on locals. The tsunami was nearly 20 years ago, so stop talking about it and pretending to get upset! You are nothing but a bunch of self deluding cunts, and you aren’t wanted, needed or appreciated! Do yourselves a favour, and stay home in the UK or Australia. I pick those two because those cunts are the biggest fucking offenders! Oh, and for you guys who come, can’t handle their booze and try to pick fights with the locals? Just remember that the guys here fight each other for a fucking hobby, and you just end up as a punchbag!

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5. Abandon the cunts to their fate.
   That will fucking learn them.

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6. Three dark keys wearing face masks on bicycles yesterday. What is new about that?

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   • Apparently Burberrys are moving into the PPE market…Wonder if their baseball caps will make a return. Tasty wif a House Check face mask, innit blud ? Nomsayin ?

     HM Queen on magic rectangle tonight, 20h.
     Countdown (instead of RR)
     Location, Location, Location. (Buck House, Balmoral, Sandringham)
     Love it…or List it ?? (Andrew Porchester-Windsor, £2/Kg, Windsor and Eton livestock market)

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   • Any excuse to hide their faces. I saw two with their hoods up plus medical masks.

     The funniest one was a dark key with a balaclava and sunglasses. That will protect you from the virus 🙄

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7. We don’t need do gooder, save the planet snowflakes and we don’t need fucking peacefuls so they can stay where they are until this is all over. If they manage to survive in those cuntholes they will be much better people for the experience. Good luck cunts.

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8. In the case of students on a gap yah, I say fucking leave them where they are.

   It is a good life lesson in as far as shit decision making leads to shit outcomes.

   Being a selfish cunt, combined with shit decision making leads to shitty outcomes that they have to deal with alone.

   Thats character building right there.

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   • We’re all on a ‘gap year’ now. Personally, I think there’s fuck all to recommend it.
     😀

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     • Mind the gap!

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     • What did he mean Bertie?
       Puzzled me that.

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9. Actually, only let Dark Keys out to work during the day. Those with work commitments who won”t get home until after 6 get a pass.

   When they did this in South Africa the crime rate was very low. OK, so they murdered each other in Soweto, but who gives a fuck….

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   • A Dark Key with work commitments? You’re having a fucking laugh, aren’t you! Drug dealing and thievery hardly counts as work!

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10. A worthy cunting,
    What a load of selfish cunts…I saw a video with a load of what abaaaaaht me,me me cunts whining abaaaaaht being in some country somewhere and not being able to get home.
    These same cunts were able to upload a high quality video of them whinging so all can’t be that bad where they are.
    A lot of these cunts decided to still go after seeing what was happening around the world and like those wanker ‘Adventurers’ who ask for help when stranded in the Antarctic should be told to fuck off and really become a local and stay there.
    I’ve noticed during the hours and hours of non stop shite about this Kung Flu on telly they interview loads of people who it’s affecting, all they go on abaaaaaht is ‘Poor me I’m in a high rise flat’…’Poor me I have to exercise in the garden’…go fuck yourselves you bunch of selfish cunts.
    People are dying and I’m sure the mostly elderly cunts would love to worry abaaaaaht your ‘problems’.
    Piss off.

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11. Why don’t these Tarquin and Jemima stranded wankers and cunts do what they do here whilst aaaaht there and…open a deli or a craft beer brewery. I’m sure the skint locals will love being asked to pay 4 paaaahnd for a loaf of bread or 5 paaaahnd for a pint in these difficult times.
    Go fuck yourselves.

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12. Mr Sudan has gone stabbed in France.
    Send him to Peru in 8 pieces.
    Fuck off.

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13. Ffs stabby fucking Korean robot cunts!

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14. A while ago I was having a natter with the bloke at the offy, stocking up, fuck Tescos at this point. Anyway we were bitching and moaning like a couple of old fishwives and he said his son and missus had just come back from a week in Greece. I said I’d rather stick my todger in a food processor than get on a plane right now. He looked sad and told me that when they’d got there the place was completely shut down apart from the supermarket which was only open 2 hours a day. Another, I call him ratboy (smoking mafia), works for an sme around the corner same thing, but an eastern european shag pot capital. Ahh the joys of yoof. Brilliant nom btw.

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15. There was a report on look north, a family on holiday in Pakistan can’t get back and a neighbour thought they could smell gas, the family asked a relative to go and check the house……

    He went in and kaboom!

    On a general observation….. fuck the cunts who are stuck abroad, idiots should have had more common sense!!

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16. I feel a bit sorry for those who had work, say, 1 or 2 year work contracts abroad (teachers, engineers etc.) Some of them have been stranded without a flight home and their jobs ended. They didn’t expect or deserve that (they may have been working abroad for a year or so).

    However, the daft cunts who went abroad after a worldwide pandemic was declared are selfish idiots. Yes, those flights and hotels in Phuket, Rome or wherever were cheap as fuck for a reason you dipshits. Everything is closed and the locals don’t want any thick British cunts getting of a plane and walking around their streets. I’d also cunt the hotels and airline/cruise companies for offering cheap ‘holidays’ instead of stopping bookings. That was probably the government’s job though. so they failed there.

    But still, you have thick twats going to Italy when they were getting hundreds of deaths a day and everything was closed.

    They do not deserve rescuing. Walk back if you can, cunts.

    And who the fuck was still getting on a cruise ship after the umpteen news stories about yet another death cruise being refused docking?

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    • Chinky plague or no chinky plague, anybody booking a sojourn on one of these floating petri dishes deserves to be Darwinned.

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17. You nasty cunts. There’s 400 cases of covid-19 in India. They are doing their best to contain it, before it gets into the house next door.

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18. my neighbour has just flown in from australia – yes Heathrow/Gatwick are still open – where he claims he got ill – so what does he do before fixing his field fences – gives it to his wife who is ill at home – the pair of them are self-isolating – he has an heriditary peerage, so that’s kay then!!

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19. If these oxygen thieves went “Home” to Pakistan then they can self-isolate at home and stop bothering us. If Crapholistan is “Home” WTF are you doing here claiming benefits etc? For more info h/t to Fahrenheit911for his coverage of “Why Pakistan is a $h1%$ol3”, quite the eyeopener.

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20. I found this article on the web that you may find interesting, it is in keeping with idiots abroad and not far of a little venture fielded some time ago (that never came to fruition)

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/middle-east/syria/articles/Syria-warzone-tours-planned-by-Russian-travel-company/

    The other idea was simply for a fee someone could be enlisted for a day, taken down the front, sat in a position with a sniper rifle. it covers certain legal issues but the bribes involved and the possible back fire made it unworkable.

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21. Like this? This is my kind of cruise.

    http://www.somalicruises.com/

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22. Some time ago, Mrs. Yank and I made a cruise booking for September 2021.

    18 months away of course, but it makes you think twice about being on a cruise ship. We’re toffee nosed snobs when we cruise, so we go suite class – mainly to avoid having to deal with the proles. Plus it’s one of, if not the, most expensive cruise line too. ‘ave it!

    My parents are both in their 80s. My dad’s a bit rubbish now healthwise and my mum has some lung/breathing condition which requires an inhaler thingy. Bottom line is, if they catch it, they probably won’t survive. Which means the last time I saw them back in 2017 would be the last time. I couldn’t even attend the funerals at this point in time. Scary thought.

    We thought we’d call the cruise line to see about either cancelling the cruise booking or moving it to 2022, so we can visit the UK instead hopefully later this year or next year. Cruise line said fuck off. We’re keeping your $500 deposit if you cancel or stinging you a big change fee if you move the booking to the following year. We’ve done 5 or 6 cruises with this company, so pretty loyal customers and that’s the reaction we got. Wow!

    This ain’t over.

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23. Sign of the times, these fucktards take to filming themselves whining about how they’re stranded and require an immediate evacuation, just shows the brass neck of these cretins, we’re they’re totally inept at seeing beyond themselves. Addressing Boris and the UK government like their issues are the most important and pressing, like the aforementioned haven’t got enough to deal with without some cunt FUCKWITS bleating on the news and social media.

    The cunts are a health risk, and should stay put until such time as the country is deemed safe and they can return- at their own fucking expense, NOT the tax payers. Teach these fuckers a lesson they’ll never forget!!!

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