Clap for Carers

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Keep clapping until your hands look like this.

Clap for Carers

No, not an STD, but coming to your screens this Thursday. Live doorstep coverage on BBC and C5. Good to know camera crews can do this essential work,( and in the BBC case, paid for by us) during lockdown.
Cutting edge broadcast journalism.
As it is live it is presumably aimed at cunts like me who wont be on the doorstep, so that I can share in the bullshit.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

An add on to the Constable’s cunting.
The police in London: all stood in a line and clapping the NHS.
Surely in these troubled times, the cozzers have better and more important things to do?

Cunts!

Nominated by Normant

155 thoughts on “Clap for Carers”

  1. Cunts bring out cunts…the fucking pigs clapping when they should be stopping/investigating crime is a disgrace.

    Who are we going to fucking clap for now?

    Clap for the government? what fucking government?
    Clap for the BBC? I would rather die from the clap
    Clap for all the greedy stockpiling cunts? hope they eat themselves to death

    Maybe we should have a clap for the clappers? and when that’s done, a clap for clappers who were clapping the clappers?

    It just shows that people are bored…you could suggest clapping for the sausages at the moment and people would do it.

    • don’t forget it’s lenny Henry’s big night in tonight on bbc for 3 fucking hours – maybe whilst all the clapping fuckers are watching it we can burn their bloody houses down

    • Because of your picture I keep confusing you with Imitation Yank. Great comment by the way.

    • One thing for sure A&E are seeing a lot less patients, just shows that half the cunts who show up there in normal times don’t really need to be there.

    • Because its all fucking lies.

      Covid-19 exists, that a given.

      The overreaction to it is covering up something else.

      I’ll polish off my Bacofoil trilby.

    • I was reading that mumsnet thread when suddenly it was taken down, citing “privacy concerns”.

      They could have just edited or removed whichever posts were of concern, but for some reason they took the whole thing down. TPTB don’t want us plebs knowing what’s really happening in the NHS.

      Thanks for posting that link.

      • The thread is back now, although edited for privacy concerns. Still the main thrust of the poster experience is there, so not so bad!

        @Odin and @Paul
        What do you think the cover up is?

      • This is the thing Cuntologist, I can’t figure it out for sure.

        First I thought it was an attempt by Europe to stop Brexit, but it is worldwide, so that theory is out the window.

        Next I thought it was one of the six asteroids which were buzzing us last month was going to come in hard. They didn’t, but when NEO 2020-FN passed at 13.45 on the 18th, the stock markets shot back up. Keep an eye on NEO 2011-ES4 though. That is heading straight for us in September.

        In that respect, maybe a worldwide cover up to prevent mass panic.

        Then I got to thinking that it was something far more sinister, like chipping the population to track them 24/7.

        That last one seems to be ringing true.

        The government have announced Test, Trace and Track for anyone with the virus.
        The vaccine is mandatory for these people and anyone they have been in contact with. See where I’m going with this?

        Finally, we will have to become a contactless society. Look up Blockchain.

        Any other theories I will quite happily listen to. As I say, these are just my thoughts.

      • Could be
        a) increased totalitarian control
        b) global economic reset
        c) the world has been spooked by Imperial College’s rubbish projections
        d) introduction of cashless society and option a

        Never thought about the asteroid.

        I guess we won’t know until we know.

        Btw Just saw the death figures on ONS for March, they are not really higher than usual. Typically deaths are 40 to 50 thousand a month and this March was 49,700 odd. Of course they will say this is because the lockdown worked.

        I think it’s nearly time to open up society with travel restrictions and shield the over 70s and other vulnerables.

  3. Looks like we have a busy week folks…need to get organised for……..
    Thursday: Clap for carers
    Friday Clap for Cap Tom
    Saturday: Sing in a Hairbrush for Celebs
    Sunday: Shine a torch for ….i can’t remember that one ….burglars??
    Monday: Thumbs up for the postie
    Tuesday: ‘Wanker’ gesticulation for lorry drivers
    Wednesday: Currently free if anyone has any suggestions ……….Boo! for Boris or Beer for Boris depending on your political persuasion, draw a heart on our palms and do a Nazi salute for domestic violence, ‘wankathon’ for porn stars have thus far been suggested.

    • Is there a timeslot available to fart in the general direction of Sadiq Khan and his rubbish tube?

      Apparently guffing can also spread the virus!

    • Wednesday, parking a burger van outside a mosque from dawn to dusk then fucking off as soon as it gets dark 😂

  4. St Georges day and the only flag i’ve seen in my local village is one of those lets all love LGBTMGBGTV8 clap the nhs look at me i’m SO kind and caring rainbow flags.
    There’ll always be an England, whether the noisy cunts on the left like it or not.

    • I’m having some flags designed for when the transvestites re emerge and I can cause confusion and division….

      1. The LG BTV flag when you decide to invest in a 75 inch LG big TV.

      2. LG PG Tips flag. When you have successfully commissioned the television set and are sat watching WWII in colour with a cuppa….

      3. MGBGT flag when you decide to invest in a classic british sports car.

    • How about we chuck fruit and veg they’ve picked at the cunts from our doorstep like the “Pamploma Tomato Festival”? That could work with the 2m rule….I’ll throw the suburban staple, the humble coconut….CUNTS.

  7. It’s my wedding anniversary today so I’m in a good mood, so with that in mind :

    What the fuckety fuck is the point of this bullshit!?!?!?!?!?!
    And what the fuckety fuck was Cressida Strapon doing on Westminster Bridge failing to observe the very fucking social distancing rules the cunt is supposed to be there enforcing???!?!?!?!?!? Bloody idiot.

    My daughter works for the NHS. She thinks it’s bullshit too but goes along with it because the kids want to do it.

    And another thing….
    Tonight we have the “Big Night In” bullshit which is guaranteed to wreck my anniversary big night in. I trust the Admins have reserved a slot for it in tomorrow’s schedule…

    • Oof, I feel sorry for you Dio. Nothing like Auntie Beeb to ruin what should be a happy event.

    • About two or three weeks ago I said this was more about politicians protecting their jobs than the real dangers of covid. Just wondering if you might have changed tack slightly?

      If you have welcome to my world of cold hearted cynicism, it is lonely and unpleasant much of the time, if not, as you were sir.

      • It’s the age-old tradition of millionaire slebs with their hand out, attempting to eke the last penny from us lowly minimum wage peasants, all in the name of “entertainment”. If these cunts threw in a few grand each, there’d be no need for this “look at me” tripe.
        I accidentally switched over at one point, just in time to hear Lenny fucking Henry proclaim “Now, coronavirus isn’t only affecting the UK, it’s a global crisis..” I immediately thought “Uh oh, here we go..” I didn’t watch a second more, but I assume that there would have been a short film featuring the plight of Somalians dropping like flies “from the virus”.
        Big Night In? Big SHITE In, more like.

      • As far as I can ascertain the bbc asking for more money for their shitty charities while some low-grade cunts get their desperately needed air time. Move along, nothing to see here.

  8. Complete inane shite. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea. It means less than fuck all to me. Before the Wuhan plague struck the doctors and nurses were getting attacked every fucking day. No cunt give a fuck then, but now they are gods. When this is over ( if ever) it will be just like normal with bouncers trying to protect the front line. Now applaud that you pleb cunts.

  9. I’ll be clapping tonight, for those brave lads and lassies who are keeping Pornhub up and running during these deeply troubling times. That said, I notice they haven’t uploaded any new teen lesbian foursomes recently. Fucking social distancing gone mad!

    • Hi RTC, I can point you in the direction of some particularly eyebrow-raising things on Pôrnhub if you’re interested?! Much like yourself, I also enjoy teen lésbian foursomes as long as it comprises of:
      A mongolian dwárf
      An unconvincing tranşbeńder
      A massively fåt bird who looks like a young Dawn French
      A young Dianne Abbott lookalike.
      Would that get your blood flowing into the correct area?
      Or do you need something more peculiar?

      Best I could do on short notice.

      https://www.xvideos.com/video33058123/threesome_lesbian_with_midget

      • It certainly is Thomas!
        Not sure why?
        Anyway I better toodle off im not allowed to talk to you without a chaperone, get me in trouble!
        Coming mum!!

      • Nah… you’re alright Thomas… think I’ll stick with the more traditional fare. Thanks anyway, appreciate the thought.

        @ Miserable – dwârf is a trigger word to prevent cunts posting links to Soft Cell’s ‘Sex Dwârf’ video.

      • Ha ha, yes that vid is hilariously disgusting. It got me a free pint a while back when my mate bet me that I could’nt watch the entire thing!

      • And a fucking diplomat lol.

        He might have come in useful over in Wuhan, chasing a few big wigs in the Communist Party around a table, with a knife in one hand and his hard on in the other.

        According to this article, it’s good to see that in ‘racist’ Britain (according to the Flabbot), Ms Abbott lives in a 1.3 million London home, her son was educated at Cambridge (so was she, I believe) and without any nepotistic shite whatsoever, greased into diplomatic jobs in glamorous locations.

        Fuck off.

        Make some use out of him and send him to speak to the Chinese leadership.

  10. What I’ve noticed about all this “community spirit” is that it has an overwhelming stench of a load of “me me me” Cunts desperate to get their boat race on social media and, if they hit the jackpot, mainstream media. “A couple in Birmingham have boosted the mood of the neighbourhood by dressing as Mr Blobby and Grotbags to put out their bins”. No, the only thing they’ve done is confirm what attention seeking cunts they are. “We’ve had some clips sent in of ordinary people showing their talents by singing covers of songs, all from their own homes..” “Such-and-such is going live at 8pm…”
    WHAT fucking talents? If I want to hear a certain song, I’ll go to YouTube and stream the original, not suffer some tuneless arseholes murdering every classic song ever written.
    Britain’s Got Talent? I can confirm that it definitely fucking DOESN’T. Fuck off, the lot of you.

    • The one exception is that bloke who dressed up as a dalek and roamed the streets of his town telling people to self isolate. That was actually pretty funny.

      • I missed that one, General. Yes, that actually required a bit of thought and was indeed a clever play on words. Much funnier and classier than Dan and Big Sadie dressed as bananas shouting “Nananana” and drooling, while their equally simple neighbours piss themselves laughing.

  11. Every week on my road it’s who can whoop, shout and bang a pot the loudest. As I’ve said before, I respect the job they do, but I ain’t being a bellend on my doorstep to satisfy the sheeple. It’s starting to remind me of Joseph Geobbel’s ministry of Propaganda and Enlightenment. For me it’s diverting attention from the clusterfuck handling of it all by our Chuckle Brothers Government. From me to you. Who the fucks is in charge? Have they an exit plan? Totally inept. They are very lucky it’s not close to an election year. The working class people who voted them in will suffer the worst from the economic mess they are creating. By the way, a lot of those people clapping the NHS today will be the first ones to start complaining about it after the Covid 19 is all over, when they are waiting five hours at A & E, trying to get in at the Doctors and waiting six months to see a consultant.

  12. Clap for carers?

    What a pile of steaming shit this is, and to the total sheeplike cunts that think it makes a difference- just FUCK OFF.

    Wankers.

    PS Found out for the first time last night (bit slow off the mark) that the new Dr Who will be a black woman. What fucking cunts the BBC are for that. Forced diversity clearly far more important than viewing figures, no way to run a “business”. Just scrap the fuckers licence fee once and for all.

    • I caught some of that Our Girl the other day (I’d stick my tongue up that Michelle Keegan’s arsehole).
      There were more Black and Asians in the Army than White’s? What the fuck are the BBC thinking seriously.
      As a half blackie I was embarrassed and found it uncomfortable to watch.
      So glad I’ve never ever paid for a TV licence.
      What a pile of cunt.

  13. Being forced/compelled/encouraged to behave in a certain way is all a bit terrifying. The emotional state of forced behaviour can certainly lead to mental problems. There is something malevolent in this crowd mentality. I say `cunt off’ to it.

    • I agree.

      I’m a postman, and I’m dreading Monday because apparently I’m going to have loads of people sticking their thumbs up at me. Because they’re being told to. Or rather, because it has been suggested by RM and people will think “that’s a nice idea” without realising that there are 1000’s of people thinking the same thing.

      It is a nice idea, and 1 or 2 will be fine. But when I’m facing the 100th one, I’m probably going to blow my fucking top. I will be avoiding any contact with people as far as I can, just in case they’re the lucky winner.

      Turn off your fucking TV, people. Burn the newspapers. That’s the cure right there.

    • One sperm says to the other, “How far is it to the ovaries?”

      The other replies, “Be patient. We’re only just past the tonsils.”

  15. Today is St George’s Day and also clap for your favourite Afro Saxon…yes me Black and White Cunt.
    I’m shall be touring the lands in the BMW lapping up the clapping.
    For those wanting to show extra appreciation (As you should) as I pass your door give the Mrs arsehole a quick tonguing…
    🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 .

    • Always wanted to ask B & W Cunt, what if the lady in question has recently layed a cable and has, shall we say, not wiped the tea towel holder correctly? Does this put you off in any way?

      • The lady has to have showered and had a good clean out before.
        I usually shove a thumb up there and then inspect that before the tonguing.
        You sound like your intrigued by the debauched side of sexual pleasures.

      • I am intrigued B & W but I also feel a bit gippy at the same time. Thanks for the advice though, may come in useful one day.

  16. Well I’ve got my own problems. Just been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, I’m beside myself….

  17. I’ve started weeping at the drop of a hat with pure fucking rage as to how far down the shitter we as a nation have slid 👏👏👏

    • TSG, I watched that video, ‘the stalin clapping test’.
      After a while, it sounded like heavy rain on the roof, then a frying pan when deep frying chips.

      Please be careful of chip pan fires, fellows. It’s safer to cook chips in the oven.

  19. I think we are far enough in to go slightly off topic.
    I have found a few home tattoo starter kits on e-bay.
    I was wondering if I purchase a few and have them posted to some of my chavier neighbours.
    What will they look like when they come out the door next month? They do not work any way so it doesn’t matter.
    ( I have also discovered an online Tobacconist and enjoying a length of pigs tail)

  20. As I have said before…my utmost respect goes out to the NHS staff and all others on the frontline having to risk their lives and who are often put even more at more risk by this Governments total lack or organisation regarding PPE.
    However don’t tell me what to do like a Dog and expect me to obey…go fuck yourselves.
    I’m glad I don’t live on a street where the neighbours keep an eye on who isn’t clapping when told to, probably the same neighbours that’ll grass you up if you go aaaaht for more than an hour a day.
    I’m sure those sadly dead NHS staff would have preferred you put your efforts into telling the Government to get it’s finger out and Govern.
    Piss off.

  21. I’m not clapping like a fucking spacker sat on the front row of a circus when the clowns appear. Someone mentioned wanking on the doorstep a while ago but I can’t remember why. Was it for prostitutes? We should all be wanking on our doorsteps at 8pm for the fearless prossies still serving the community with complete selflessness. Probably.

  22. In other news HUNDREDS queue outside Five Guys to get their fat gobs around a burger.
    Probably been going cold turkey the last three weeks.
    What a load of cunts, I’m awaiting the second wave of Kung Flu.
    We need at least 20 million wiped out.

    This country is finished.

    ©️Ruff Tuff Creampuff

    • Afternoon B&WC 😎

      Gave you a tickle for that!

      PS: Shan’t be clapping for St George’s Day cos he was a foreigner and I’m xenophobic.

      • He was a Turk or something wasn’t he? No wonder we love Kebabs so much.

      • I dont beleive he was a foreigner, fake news that!
        The Lefties put that out!
        He was a Englishman.
        The dragon was turkish maybe but not George.
        Probably a Northerner too?
        Like to think he made a nice belt out of the dragon maybe a saddle,
        But definitely English!
        No way a turk would fight a dragon, more likely to try bumming it.

      • FYI Miserable… According to legend St George was a Roman soldier born in what is now modern-day Turkey in around 280AD and died around 303.

        He was chosen as England’s patron Saint in 1350 by King Edward III.

        Apparently he was admired for his bravery in the face of terrible suffering, and he was popular among European Knights and military men.

        So stick that up your arse and blow it aaaat!

      • Dont beleive a word of it!
        Born in Burnley, known for his heavy drinking an 11inch nudger he slew turks an greasy Romans and gave us our national dish of fish and chips.
        This weeks not over yet and upto now youve insulted 100yr old war hero major Tom
        Harmless childhood character Rupert bear
        Now our patron saint!
        Who’s next winston Churchill?
        Robin Hood?
        Cockleshell heroes?
        Henry Cooper?
        Your hero bashing is out of control.
        😁

      • Saint Edmund actually existed,and is Englands original patron saint.
        He was English, he kicked Viking arse, and is the real deal.
        His day is 20th of November, and his flag is a white dragon on a red background.
        George ( if he ever existed ), was a Johnny Foreigner from out east, and had fuck all to do with England.
        So fuck him.

      • Jack@
        Bury st Edmunds was were Edmund was apparently killed by angry Vikings, shot full of arrows tied to a tree.

      • Plus his flag is boring and unimaginative too.

        Reminds me of that globalist organisation the Red Cross.

        Anyway, you’re just sore cos you failed to take my advice and make a killing on oil – hee hee! 😃

      • To be honest Ruff it is a boring Flag!
        I like the 3 Lions flag,
        Lions rampant!
        Looks regal and stately.
        Love to see it fluttering on tanks rolling through Beijing .

      • Trust Jack to come to the rescue. Evening Jack.

        I can go for St Edmund. I lived in a road named after St Edmund during the 1960s. It was a great time, great music, had my first successful wank in the attic… remember it like it was yesterday!

        St George’s Day was flagged up on Radio4 this morning, so there has to be something iffy about him. Besides, he was popular among EU knights. That said, at least he wasn’t a Chink or a Peaceful.

        PS: Matt Hancock is currently on TV praising Muslims and saying “ramadamadingdong” during the pointless press conference. Useless cunt.

  23. This ‘clapping’ has fuck all to do with ‘community spirit’ and all that crap. Most people during this crisis are ‘I’m alright, Jack’ and there’s no denying it. This clapping phenomenon is yet another craze. A trend and ‘the thing to do’ because it gets cunts noticed on social media and all that crap and they want to be part of the virtue signalling pack. Not unlike the demise of Lady Sloanie Spencer. I bet most people in those ‘grieving’ masses either never gave her a second thought or slagged her off over her serial shagging and attention seeking cuntery. But it became ‘the thing to do’ to eulogise this trollop and so it became a circus with thousands of chav lemmmings jumping off the griefjacking clifftop. I dare say there will be a small few who are genuinely thanking the health service. But most will be stupid bellends doing it because everybody else is doing it

    • Well said Norman. The thing that irked me about all the synthetic “grief” when Di and Dodi came out worst in their fight with a Paris tunnel was that these hysterical sobbing cunts had probably seldom gave her a second thought previously, and the very same cunts wouldn’t walk half a mile to put flowers on their own grandmothers grave, fuck sake. Yet they have a fucking mental breakdown because some attention-seeking bint they’ve never been within a mile of goes and gets herself killed? Twats.

  25. My daughter’s a nurse, I don’t clap like a seal on a Thursday evening, does that mean I don’t love or appreciate her work?

  26. We’ll be lighting candles next and singing ‘don’t puke back in anger’ to forgive the chinks.

  27. My mate has always had weird sexual fetishes which became really quite perverse and he blames it on the fact that he lost his virginity to some fat Chinese bird who was smothered in chip fat.
    He was on slippery slope from the start….

  28. This is another form of self-gratification in the form of an absurd gesture, another excuse to make a fucking racket, and, (probably in most cases) another example of the feeble-minded Facebook slaves succumbing to the pressure from curtain-twitching neighbours and local social meeja nazi’s that will instantly dive onto their areas’ COVID19 page to congratulate themselves and other morons on their imbecilic ovation, as well as chastising those who didn’t.

    And that prick who lives in my block is going to get his saucepan wrapped around his fucking chops if he continues to bang it past (what i can only assume is) the one minute window.

    Fuck off.

  29. It’s like when multi millionaire footballers clap the away supporters after just getting smashed 4-0 having played like a bunch of girls. We know they don’t give a fuck, it’s just obligatory……..what they are told to do. Well if some cunt wants to bung me a couple of hundred grand a week i’ll be out there with the rest of the fakes and frauds and virtue signallers. In the meantime the BBC can kiss my arse and fuck off while they’re doing it.

  30. The picture looks like someone is being covered in concrete. Reaching up, “Save me!”

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