Clap for Carers



Keep clapping until your hands look like this.

Clap for Carers

No, not an STD, but coming to your screens this Thursday. Live doorstep coverage on BBC and C5. Good to know camera crews can do this essential work,( and in the BBC case, paid for by us) during lockdown.
Cutting edge broadcast journalism.
As it is live it is presumably aimed at cunts like me who wont be on the doorstep, so that I can share in the bullshit.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

An add on to the Constable’s cunting.
The police in London: all stood in a line and clapping the NHS.
Surely in these troubled times, the cozzers have better and more important things to do?


Nominated by Normant

155 thoughts on “Clap for Carers

  1. Dont look like human hands Spoons!
    Too many joints in the fingers, too long and skinny, Maybe nosferatu maybe a extra terrestrial.
    Not sure but wouldnt like a massage off them!

    • Oh Dog, MNC! That’s scary!

      They might even be, *gulp*, the claws of Posh Spice!

      Run away!

      • Once had a badge which said ‘I thought clap was a form of applause till I discovered Smirnoff’. Just thought you’d want to know that.

  2. Reminds me of the Elim Church when I was a kid. We only went for the free pop and crips but of course we had to endure-‘If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands (clap) if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands (clap) if you’re happy and you know it and you really want to show it if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands (clap).

    Clapped out at the end.

      • Not sure Lana, when Miles takes time out of his busy schedule to enlightened us we’ll know!
        Pentecostal is baptist Isnt it?

      • I wasn’t very concerned about their doctrine at the time Miserable. Except their dispensation of pop and crisps.
        Just googled them. Maybe I have finally found a Church for RT would be comfortable in. It seems they believe in ‘British Israelism’. That the peoples of these Islands (except Southern Ireland of course) are the remnant of the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel. Or one of them. What do you think of that? Manny Miserable?

  3. This enforced ritual is blatant virtue signalling by cunts who plague A+E for calpol.

    Fuck off.

  4. Cunts! The novelty of clapping wore off before the first time.

    I could do with a carer to come around and wank me off, wank me off with her mouth, fanny, arse. I pay £12 for this. Eastern European girls preferred.

    All this clapping and dancing shit. I have reached peak max with News and social media.
    Went to town center today and was DENIED ENTRY to my own bank that I have been with since 1989. CUNTS served me on the pavement cunts! True story. Put me in a very bad mood and I couldn’t even go over the road to have five pints in Wethercunts!!

    This lockoff needs lifting toute suite, WE THE PEOPLE aren’t going to tolerate this past 30th May 2020.

    Kind regards, CUNTS!

  5. Could “Fap For Carers” as an alternative.
    Probably unwise to do it on the doorstep though.

  6. what about a Clap 4 Cunts Everywhere?

    I’m becoming more and more of a cunt the longer this lockdown continues and feel a desperate need for some loving attention and beer or fine wine and cakes and something that equates to the wonderful scenery around me – not all the shit coming out of the beeb and sky – i want to ‘kill’ and not try to rationalise with thickos who think everything is okay – it’s not okay – so why am i under house arrest for nothing – fuck the elites and fuck this pathetic government – where’s fucking boris?????????????

  7. Fuckin’ sheep the lot of them
    Clap for doing your job or making crap dance vids for tik tok, get to fuck
    Stupid cunts

    • Some cunt here thinks fireworks are like clapping. Next week I might go out with a bat, see who it is and hammer one up his arse. Our cat, and no doubt every other in the area, is fucking well upset at these random explosions.

      • I sympathize Moggs, dogs scared to death, knew who had them hed be waking up to a surprise in the early hours, hope he mingles and catches..a rash.

      • there were a male and female duck and a male and female pheasant on my lawn at 8.0 o’clock last night – they were horrified at the banging and wailing of happy clappers locally – they ran into the bushes and did poos – says it all

    • They’re still clapping here as well Spoons. For me. I decided to emerge from the crowd and do my Peter Crouch ‘robot’ dance. It’s gone down a storm.

    • Cunts round my place were clapping like demented seals going full retard (never go full retard) 3 weeks ago for the Tik tok dancing Troupes, they’re not so appreciative of their dance routines and have stayed indoors this week, there’s no clapping at all thank fuck

  8. Just been out for my evening constitutional. 8pm sharp the clapping started from several blocks of flats. I thought, what’s the point? Ok, all credit to the NHS workers, but it’s not as if they can even see you.
    I expect I wound them up a bit by bowing to their applause as I walked past, they were not amused.

  9. I will never clap anyone for doing their job. Not least because I find it deplorable to clap for an institution the nation has largely become so fixated on it has cost millions of people their own jobs.

    And then there was that viral bollocks about egg and spoons and peacefuls bringing peace to OUR lands and clapping for them.

    The only time I’ll clap you is when you’re boarding the boat home.

  10. Some years ago a nurse gave me thrush.
    I don’t consider this worthy of applause.

    • I made a comment similar to this on a different cunting, a joke about clap/STD’s, so how come mine was deleted and this one magically stays ?

      I don’t know why you don’t just rename this site to Cuntbook, because it operates on the same principles.

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