Breaking news

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It is with regret that we announce that Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has been moved to intensive care.

Our thoughts and prayers are with him.

on lesser news, The dog is going to get a kicking for tipping a cup of tea over my lap top that has more or less crippled it in these trying times.

Fuck!

all the best Admin.

 

Be strong, be safe, and carry on cunting!

You heard it here first from the IsAC News team.

127 thoughts on “Breaking news”

  2. All the best Boris, get well soon. Need you back when well with your energy and passion.

  3. Goes without saying but I hope he pulls through. And my HP craptop has conked out as well thanks to the fucking hard drive failing AGAIN.

    • I’ve got an HP laptop too. Yesterday, I went to plug my charger in and it didn’t show it was charging in many different power sockets. Thought my lead was broke.

      Went online to find a fix. Battery almost dead at the time and managed to remove battery driver in control panel, switch off, take out battery, unplug, press and hold power for 1 minute (laptop doesn’t switch on), put battery back in, lead back in. Switch on. Sorted.

      Today my volume fucked off too. Had to reboot and now ok.

      No virus detected. HP laptops are shite. Not getting another. Just passing on info as it may happen to you. HP laptops seem very ‘buggy’ to me.

      Get well soon, Boris.

      Fuck China.

      • Mine keeps coming on with a blank screen and doesn’t get any further even when I remove and put the battery back in. Won’t even let me press F11 to access the sodding recovery centre.

      • I also recall I had to reinstall windows 10 after a flashing black screen (the toolbar at the bottom flashing and had the ‘loading blue circle’).

        All online instructions didn’t work so, out of desperation, I just shoved in my windows usb and it rebooted after s reinstall. Luckily remembered my passwords etc. It kept my original boot and made a new one. Not deleting the old back up one it’ll probably kill my computer. Piece of shit. I didn’t expect it to let me reinstall it was so fucked.
        Do that at your own risk btw, but it worked for me (just do as a last resort!)

      • I have a Lenovo laptop and I wouldn’t buy another one.

        Battery has been a problem since new. I did get a replacement under warranty though, but I’ve never fitted it. It’s a massive pain to get to and remove the battery in this thing.

        Then I had screen driver issues causing the laptop to not boot into Windoze. Just the circle of dots going round and round forever. I work in IT (not desktop support though – I’m not that much of a cunt) so tried all kinds…safe mode, uninstall, re-install, upgrade driver, etc. etc. etc. Eventually admitted defeat and contacted Lenovo support. Their suggestion? Re-install Windoze from scratch – TO FIX A SCREEN DRIVER ISSUE!!!!!

        I eventually figured out the issue myself without re-installing shitty Windoze, but my experience with Lenovo has not been good. Avoid at all costs.

      • I have an all singing all dancing HP laptop IY (bought it for business use so at least I can claim the money back for it) – biggest piece of shit I have ever used.
        Made in China, technical “support” from Romania.
        Say no more.

      • Hi Vern –
        It’s odd that HP seem to make shitty laptops when Compaq were ace at doing that back in the day. I won’t need another laptop for quite a while, but when I do I hope there are some better choices.

      • Why blame Lenovo when it seems to be a win 10 problem, the OS is a heap of shit. MS have form for shit OSes like Win98/Vista/8.

      • Agreed Moggie. I’ve used every incarnation since XP and Windows 10 is by far the worst I’ve ever used. Laggy and buggy to the extreme and not to mention constant stream of ‘updates’ and an inability to run smoothly on many cheaper laptops. Oh, and did I mention the fucking spyware?

      • Moggs: ‘Cos it was a Lenovo signed driver that was causing Windoze not to complete its boot up.

        Don’t get me wrong, I’m no MS fan – far from it. And I don’t allow any Apple products in my house. When I’m eventually made Emperor of the Planet, my first act will be to confiscate all Apple products and burn them.

      • Mine now switches the charger off when I plug it in. So, guess my charging port is fucked.

  4. All the best boris…. you saved us from corbyn.
    Pull through, please. And when you come back, come back PISSED OFF and ready to deal with those communist pigs that are fucking us.

      • Not just the chinese ….. ALL communists are pigs.
        What’s the saying?
        “The only good communist is a dead communist”….. not my words admin.
        I ain’t sayin nothin….

  5. Admin, did the dog not like his cup of tea you made him?
    Is that why he tipped it over your computer?

  6. there seems to be a fashion going on I gave Nigel £25 and he shit out voted for Boris and this happens.
    sorry guys I will vote Labour next time.

  7. Still a better PM, drowsy and wheezing in a hospital bed, than any current Labour freaks could ever manage.

    • I too hope Boris is soon back on his feet. We don’t need the fucking Labour remainers to get anywhere near the levers of power – and anyway, Dame Kweer is having his hair done this morning – a blue rinse and shampoo and set – got to look his best for when Lammy and Thagman Debbonaire mince into the shadow cabinet meeting.

      Dominic Raab seems to be taking up the top job for the time being – better than Gove, but we need the main man back where he belongs.

  9. I’m not religious but I’ve said a prayer for him.
    The power of prayer supersedes religion.

    • Admin – ironically we were talking earlier today about not wishing anyone dead. Could we not please pull the dead pool just for now as a mark of respect. Let’s show we are better than this at this time.

      • Regret I am not better than that, just posted my noms and will be delighted if one comes in. Unless it’s Larry the cat, that would be sad.

  10. Seize every asset those bloomin Chinese have over here to help recoup the cost. The only good to have come out of this disaster is that the snowflakes and woke are keeping their whinging mouths firmly shut. Rich or poor, this virus doesn’t care. Hope he pulls through.

    • Go on a BBC or Guardian thread and mention travel bans/trade bans/reparations/writing off debts etc (against the Chinese).

      The self hating cunts will tell you IRRELEVANT SHIT about slavery, the evil British empire, how Trump and Boris killed more than China because of their stupidity and how the USA was responsible for Spanish Flu (it wasn’t…that was China too) and how Europeans were responsible for the worst of the lot (Black Death…they’re wrong again. China too).

      These fuckers will have us all buried rather than wake the fuck up.

      The answer to stopping such an outbreak in future (or at least making it very unlikely) is fucking harsh!

      The cunts can’t handle the truth.

      • If only Montybisto – sadly that shitrag is ring fenced by some sort of trust fund, no doubt boosted by soyboy politicians and nancy boy actors.

      • I signed up to twitter, posted three tweets along those lines and my account was suspended/blocked within the hour. Freedom of Speech is dead. Fuck the Chinks! Can we agree to drive the ones left here from our shores via any means?

      • Likewise MC – I got immediately blocked for asking Rebecca bongs-daily and Slur Richard Bransc*m some polite but uncomfortable questions.
        N*zis.

      • I managed to control my potty mouth for several weeks before getting suspended. If you delete the tweet you can go back on, I refuse to on principle, as that would be like apologising to the lefty cunt I called a cunt, which was simply a statement of fact.

  11. My mate ended up in hospital after I played a prank on him which backfired and ended with him getting weed killer sprayed in his face.
    Fortunately he saw the fungicide….

  12. Fucking scary how it seems like you’re ok then a week later it suddenly fucks you up.

    Because of the Chinese cunts we’re probably all going to get it at some point.

    Fucking terrifying.

    And what pisses me off is that many people sneer at suggestions of sanctions or strict travel bans.

    Well, I’d like to hear their fucking alternative in stopping us getting another Chinese pandemic.

    They don’t fucking have an answer. They just care about ‘feelings’. Libtards will kill us all. When this is finally over, we need a referendum on the Chinese questions.

    Should we ban entry to the UK for anyone who’s been to/resident in China since (choose a date)?

    Should we also ban UK entry to nationals whose countries allow the Chinese to enter their countries since (enter date)?

    • Maybe if we all pooled our nukes together we could come up with a solution to the China problem. I have some copper piping and a spare car battery if that’s any help?

  13. I’ll bet my house on it that he doesn’t croak
    I hope the cunt doesn’t cos I love the way he upsets the lefty bastards

    • Not sure I share your optimism CG but really hope you are right about him.

      Wouldn’t trust him to do as he says but frankly the best we’ve got and he fucks the EU and lefty snowflakes off majestically.

      Come on Boris FFS!

  14. All those bitter cunts who moaned about Boris being tested for the virus should be fucking ashamed of themselves .

  15. The amount of people gloating over this on my FB newsfeed is truly appalling.
    I’m sure his four children may disagree with them.
    Careful what you wish for you horrible, horrible cunts.

    • Same on Yahoo. People are posting messages of sympathy and support for BoJo, and getting a ‘thumbs down’ response. What the fucking fuck is wrong with these fuckers?
      I want him to pull through for no other reason than to fuck them off. Cunts!

    • I agree, I spent a couple of hours writing a cunting of boris (I like him but the Huawei thing is cuntish) and as soon as I posted it I got a notification that he was in intensive care….. I asked admin to put it on ice immediately, and they did.
      Thanks admin.
      It wouldn’t be right to cunt someone in intensive care…. fucking wrong.
      These cunts that are cheering are truly showing how the world would be if communism took over.
      Only 100 million murdered so far…. if you ask me they’re only just getting started.

  16. Gove sends his best wishes for your speedy demise. He sniffs a shot at the top job again .

  17. Get well soon Boris, you can do it.
    I sincerely hope that China are heavily penalised for this shit show they’ve heaped on us all. Once this bollocks has ended, whenever that may be, I hope it isn’t forgotten or swept under the carpet. HEADS MUST (SPRING) ROLL.
    Barbaric cunts.

    • They said on the tv he’s not on a ventilator, he’s just been moved into intensive care in case he gets any worse.

      • I’ve just read from some tip medical officer on the BBC (yes, I know) that two thirds of those sent to an ICU for coronavirus are on a ventilator within 24 hours.

        This is bad.

      • I wish Boris well, and a speedy recovery.
        Just waiting for cabbages and piss to pop up like an unwanted fart and start twisting for “an interim Government of unity, led by Jeremy, just for the time being you see, it’s for the best – you can trust Jeremy”..
        C*nt or not, Boris is our c*nt and we stand by him and our Country, we are good people and I hope I speak for all when I say our collective thoughts and good wishes are with him👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
        And a massive thumbs down for all the twisted social meeja haters wishing him harm – what goes around tends to come round you nasty little fuckers.

  18. I’m not a conspiracy nut…but what to do if we find out they deliberately released the virus to fuck up the western powers?

    It would be war, surely?

    • I’d say that it’s not beyond the bounds of possibility but unlikely. In the longer run it’s likely to fuck up China as much as us.
      The Chinese might be cunts of the first magnitude, but they’re not stupid cunts.
      Just my view of course; I’m no expert.

      • I believe the same, but they might accept a few hundred thousand of their own dead to get the west to collapse.

      • Why would they want to wipe out their largest customer base? They stand to lose £££ trillions in trade etc if the Western economies collapse.

      • I get that. The theory (which I don’t believe by the way) is that they want an endgame quickly.

        Total world domination.

      • They may be cunts but they’re not fucking stupid.

        Anyway, China plays the long game. They already practically own us.

    • The US was playing hard ball with the Chinese on trade, was winning and the US economy was doing better than theirs. I do find this a strange and convenient time for the Chinese when the virus started. Could just be a coincidence but the Chinese are a secretive, sly and insidious race. I wouldn’t put anything past them. The US economy is now tanking whilst the Chinese are now going back to work in factories etc. Will not make the slightest difference but I will never again eat Chinese food, go to their restaurants. I will not buy anything Chinese and will do due diligence on any purchase. Numerous virus’s have started in China with no punishment. Enough is enough, they need to be made the pariah of the world. Hurt them in the pocket, it’s the only way they will learn that we’ve fucking had enough of their disgusting habits and cruelty to animals, reptiles and people.

    • The scientists have already established that the virus bears none of the hallmarks of a laboratory produced virus.

      • Good to hear that Ruffers. We should still use our own weight to punish the fuckers tho.
        I’d like to see them utterly embargoed and banned from travel to here or anywhere else.
        The EU is apparently working on a package of measures, and expects to have a proposal to present to member countries as early as 2120.
        (Ok, I made the last bit up)

      • Of course you made it up, there’s no way the EU could act so quickly. It would probably take several years just to translate the proposal into the 30 or so languages enjoyed by the ‘area with common values’.

      • Which scientists ruff? The ones that the media wheel out….
        I’d like to know what military intelligence think about it….
        I’m not having a go by the way mate, i just don’t trust the media or any of their shills….
        2 words….
        Greta. Thumberg.

        Scientists….. pppfffttt…. who pays them?

        Clair Patterson….. they all went for him and all the “scientists” “proved” him wrong…… but he saved millions.

      • I don’t know their names Deploy, but the scientists taking calls on LBC this morning sounded pretty damn kosher to me. And I have a VERY strong inbuilt crap detector.

      • You do ruff I trust you alot more than I trust sly news or the beebustan….

      • Correct. Cross mutation from animal to animal and the the dirtiest, hungriest cunts on the planet gently warm through and devour animals

    • I doubt it, but after reading the gulag archipelago, there ain’t much I’d put past the commies…..
      Lives mean nothing to these people… money neither.
      Just power….
      Weirdos. Evil, sick, weirdos….

  19. Boris is in thrall to the Chinese… at least he was before this shite happened.

    Guess who the biggest creditor is re: our £2 trillion+ and rising rapidly National Debt? Yeah, China.

    Everything this nation of shopkeepers sells is Made in China.

    Then there’s the security risks posed by Boris’s strangely irrational deal with Huawei:

    https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1241163/nigel-farage-lbc-news-boris-johnson-family-huawei-ban-5g-network-china

    Hopefully he’ll think again when he pulls through.

    Trouble is the UK is in hock to the little commie devils, right up to its scraggy fucking neck.

    GET WELL SOON BORIS.

    • I’ll never buy Chinese again if I can…..
      We need to cut those cunts out asap…

      • Easier said than done Deploy. But our cunts don’t seem to want to make anything here. Maybe this is the wake up call this country needed.

      • I agree…. we have plenty on welfare coz we don’t manufacture anymore. We’d have to pay more but that’s better than the alternative.

      • Evening DTS – random one but manufacturing (particularly in textiles) is slowly coming back to the UK because the rising costs and wages in locust land, coupled with transport and logistics difficulties are making it increasingly difficult for State owned (sorry, unaffiliated private) companies to get the margin they demand, and the Government is increasingly having to subsidise said companies and having to manipulate and devalue the Yuan to remain internationally competitive – difficult to believe but the locusts have very seriously over extended themselves financially, and the debt payments they rely heavily on from Saudi Arabia and Russia have significantly reduced as their economies are heavily reliant on oil and gas sales which have completely tanked and dumped China right in the shit.
        We are a huge and important market for the Chinese and if we refuse to import and buy their shit they would be in very serious trouble and an unstable fiscal entity.
        And guess what the first Country is they will be calling their debt marker in on?
        Fuck China! Make British! Buy British! Bankrupt China!
        Oooh, hang about – just had a knock at the door and some lovely polite Chinese chaps in uniforms have “invited” me to go with them for a re-education holiday..
        Our Prime Minister fights for his life, as China fights dirty for dominance.
        Bastards.

      • Just watched an interview with Minister Ma Hui of the Chinese embassy. He claims that China has been totally open and honest with us all about the nature and extent of the C-19 outbreak, and that ‘you can’t blame China’.
        You don’t fucking say pal. We believe you, thousands wouldn’t…
        Get to fuck, you cunt.

      • Evening Ron – he would say that, because he is an evil lying fucker.
        Never trust a Chink.

  20. Re: News….
    Me and a few mates from my area used to play a few local gigs as a tribute band.
    ‘Huey Lewis And The News From Your Region’….

  21. We can’t just turn off the taps, too much of our industry is either over there or dependant on materials from China. What we need to do is slowly bit by bit bring it back to the West. For the last fifteen years we want the best wages, but want to buy everything dirt cheap. We can’t have it both ways, so people will have to get used to paying more, and buying less. This throwaway world is unsustainable anyway, so millennials onwards need to get used to a bit of old school make do and mend. It’s cheap coming from China, because it’s mostly shit, made by slaves. Stop being so fucking fickle and buy something better quality that will last.
    Chin up Boris, Starmer needs his arse handed to him at PMs question time.

    • You’re right gutstick, we’re all responsible. If we want to end this we all have to think carefully before buying anything, and all remember that when you buy from china, you fund communism…..
      I certainly fucking will.

  22. This is a fucking strange little bug, some people don’t even know they have got yet others are ending up in coffins.
    It’s a slow killer, from start to finish can be up to 4 weeks, looks like if you have symptoms and they go in a week you are fine if not it’s Russian roulette.

    I wonder if they will treat BoJo with some of the drugs they are testing, the medics will be under pressure to make sure he pulls through.

    • Absolutely, Sick; and I doubt that there’s a soul among us who wouldn’t pay a lot to know that they’re not in the sick as a parrot category

  24. I hope the old boy gets through it. And I also hope the liberal lunatics behave themselves. Fat chance of that happening though. Anyone who rejoices in this news should either be shipped out or shot as a traitor to Britain.

    • The 2019 election result showed that in the main, British people are long-suffering but also have long memories; they walk softly but carry a big stick.

  25. I hope that cunt Nazifa Zaman is feeling happy about herself tonight, wallowing in pleasure and sharing her delight that Boris has caught the coronavirus.
    This country is fucked with vermin like that.
    What the fuck has this country deserved to accept shit like this.

    • Nazifa Zaman is the shit on Great Britain’s shoes. Shit that needs to be scraped off…

      Thought I might also add, I hope you are satisfied, Stormzy.
      You fucking cunt.

      • He’s probably busy working coz of course he’s a “key” worker and important….. just like all celebrities…..

      • Stormzy currently busy sat in a bath of fried chiggun counting his money.
        Wanna use some of it to buy basic protection equipment for our frontline staff?
        Course you fucking don’t.
        When we come out the other side of this nightmare there is going to be one hell of a reckoning.

  26. Hope Boris recovers.

    This will hopefully increase the political pressure on the Chinks from all sides, as BoJo getting seriously ill will scare the higher ups by demonstrating they’re not immune from this shitty virus. As long as it’s just us plebs catching it then, in all reality, they’re never that fussed, in my opinion.

    The Chinks will be hoping he makes it too, as they’ve massively overplayed their hand if they kill a world leader.

  30. The sick cunts celebrating this news need shooting. Don’t forget, his pregnant fiance also has the virus. What sort of sick bastard celebrates that?

    We have some truly disgusting people in the UK, I’m afraid.

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