Asda (2)

ASDA are cunts.

Apparently these fuckers do not have any available online order slots until July. I know things are bad at the moment, but that is taking the absolute piss. And their helping the vulnerable bit is bollocks and all. I have a mate who is high risk and can’t leave his house and he has the paperwork to prove it. But can he get a booking on the ASDA site? Can he fuck. I know for a fact that ASDA cater for their ‘peaceful’ clientele and go out of their way to treat them with kid gloves. They even sack their own employees in order to appease them. So do not be fooled by ASDA’s ‘Feeding The Nation’ bullshit. Feeding their own coffers and their favourites more like. The cunts….

Nominated by Norman

50 thoughts on “Asda (2)

  1. The only thing I remember about Asda, is those old adverts where they always got a bird with a nice arse to give herself a big slap on her own arse, while wearing tight jeans.

    Instead of making me want to go and shop at Asda, it just made me fantasize about bending her over a trolley, giving her arse an even bigger slap, pulling her jeans down and ..PHWOOAAAR!!! I’ve given meself the ‘orn. Back in a minute.

    • You’ll never see ads like that again in this era of faux outrage and sexist offence from the wimminz/woke groups!

      In fact it would have to be a non-binary of dark origin and a taste for munching carpets to win favour of the woke community

  2. The queues at Spasda are really long because Joey Deacon keeps fumbling with his change at the checkout.

    • Not been in a Asda in years, what about the other supermarkets Norman?
      Sainsbury’s do home delivery and think Tesco do?
      Could try waitrose get the curtains twitching?
      Like your Viv Nichols!
      Bet our political masters are getting near the bottom of their hampers from Fortnum & Mason by now?
      #in it together.

  3. Asda Wembley has several isles dedicated to our Star Wars fans, you know the women who dress like Darth Vader. Some twat has labelled them as for halal and not Jedi food.

    Idiots.

  4. Anyone seen the McCann’s?

    I suppose it must be hard for them. Not able to go on holiday…..

  5. I stopped going to Asda when I saw their Halal section. I’m not patronising them dirty fuckers I thought. Now we know that imported lamb is mostly Halal and much of the chicken we eat.
    Our neighbour is a butcher and even he doesn’t know how to tell if supermarket meat is butchered by barbarians.

  6. “I have a mate who is high risk and can’t leave his house and he has the paperwork to prove it”….

    That’s what gets me. Why can’t the vulnerable be properly protected and those who just have a slight chance of dying take reasonable precautions to avoid spreading/contracting and yet continue with some semblance of normality?

    Yes,I’m aware that there would be people dying,but as far as I can make out,people will still be exposed when this lockdown is lifted….the virus is not going to suddenly vanish.

    We can not stay hidden for ever. Many people..Emergency Services,shop-workers etc. are still working, and I tip my hat to them, while people who are far less likely to take much harm have locked themselves away.

    Protect the vulnerable by all meansbut we are in danger of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
    ……………

    Once parked outside an Asda near Blyth and watched endless taxis turn up with loads of fat slaggy-looking woman,ratty-looking men and fat, yet still ratty-looking children,pile out to do their shopping in Asda…they emerged pushing trollies stacked full of ket before being taxied away.

    Apparently it was benefit day.

      • Morning Mr F…how goes it in Northumberland?
        You appear to have forgotten to miss Jane-arse.
        Cunts…………………………………………………bahhhhhh

      • Morning Mr. Cunt-Engine.

        I remember Jane Arse…hope they’re still OK. I miss a canny few Posters who have dropped away.

        Everything in my neck of the woods is pretty much unchanged,tbh….queuing to get into the Coop is about the extent of it. If that is the price to pay for a dearth of ramblers,caravanners,MAMIL pushbikers…well,it’s a price I’m willing to pay.

        How are things with you?

      • Had a house sale under way before all this shit started, that obviously fell through, so I’m *still* fucking stuck with the ghastly Mrs Cunt Engine. I almost escaped!
        Driving/riding to work is pretty damned sweet though, I’ll be gutted when the lockdown concludes!

      • Yes, was wondering about Jane-Arse a few weeks back…
        Evening m’Lord.
        Where Eagles Dare on the magic rectangle…

      • Evening, HBH.

        I”ve got that on too….then I’ll flick over to the old film channel for Raise The Titanic…

        The life I lead really is one thrill after another at the moment….Get the Pubs reopened Boris,you malingering,waffling Cunt.

      • Mr Cunt Engine

        If the ghastly Mrs Cunt Engine is really getting on your nerves, you could always do her in and bury her under the patio.

        You could then tell your friends & neighbours she succ.umbed to Chink Flu very very suddenly!

    • Morning Cuntflap.

      It is good that these volunteers do what they can. I have every respect for them. What I’d prefer to see is the vulnerable being properly protected and prioritised which is what these volunteers are doing.
      While the truly “at risk” like Norman’s friend can’t get help,we have people who are at a far lesser risk being…I won’t say “mollycoddled”,that’s probably the wrong word..

  7. They have an halal section? Fuck that. Who wants to go in a supermarket and mix with filthy goat shaggers? Do they sell camel meat? Prayer mats?
    Do the blokes wait outside while the letterboxes do the shopping with half a dozen mini bombers hanging off their skirts?
    Fucking cunts.

    • Hope they do sell camel meat – it might give some of the self-destructing day-sack wearers a nice little dose of MERS.

  8. Two words put me off ever entering an Asda store these days – ASDA RADIO. Christ help us, it was bad enough when it was “Asda FM”, but now you are forced to listen to mouthy little nancy boys pretending they are a 1971 Radio 1 disc jockey.

    Mrs Boggs doesn’t mind it (quite likes some of the music), but I point out to her that Asda is neither the BBC or a charity, and somebody is paying for the bumboys to get paid every week.

    • We could take this opportunity to nail some cunts doors and windows shut while on lockdown.
      Those old cunts the Rolling Stones for one!
      Last did anything good in early 70s, even Boris Johnson has a better work ethic.

      • Wireless 4 played a very small sample from last nights “concert” on the 6 a.m. news this morning. Poor old Paul McCartney was wheezing away on an equally wheezy electric organ, gurgling away like a lavatory cistern. I am sure he was recorded in an old people’s home – you almost expected that voice to wobble Just A Song At Twilight. Dame Elton John was bashing away on his piano in his garden. I assume he goes out there every night for dogging and cottaging as he can’t use Hampstead Heath.

  9. I know of a housebound old dear (nigh on 90) who had a delivery slot with these utter cunts every week for several …until this shit started. Then she couldn’t get her stuff ordered & delivered because a) these stupid fucktards didn’t think to protect the slots, & b) when ‘er indoors took over the ordering for her, she couldn’t get the order through because of the fucking cock-womble public overloading the wagons with huge fucking orders.
    Ages ago I did a ‘click & collect’ through Arse-da & now that cunt of a CEO Roger somebody or other keeps emailing me with how he’s helping us all (ker-ching!) I emailed him back & told him of his outfit’s cunted-ness – I daresay you can guess what reply I got, yeah, fuck all.
    Well he can fuck right off after this shit-shower, me & the missus & one of her mates are doing the shopping for the old girl now until this is over, then it’ll be Tesco or Sainsbury’s, Arsehole-da can disappear up it’s own grinner. Cunts.

    • ‘several years’ – Angry typing, much like angry masturbation, leads to no good outcome.

  10. Living in the remotest parts of the Lake District National Park, does limit me to what home delivery services are available from the big supermarkets. In fact the only ones I can use are Arseda and Tossco.

    Before the Chink Flu caught hold, both offered pretty decent delivery services, as I really didn’t fancy travelling to local towns like Workington or Carlisle to do the weekly shop given that they’re full of chavs and libtards (but no foreign filth fortunately)

    Anyway, trying to get a delivery slot from either of them is nigh on impossible these days. You’d have more chance of Linekunt giving up his various cushy jobs and handing over his fortune to the poor he keeps banging on about!

    That said, I now use the local village shops. All well stocked, everyone abides by the 2 meter rule, everyone is quite cheerful & calm, and again no letter boxes, umbongos, booshkas or goat shaggers to worry about. Moreover the food is far more tastier than the shite from the supermarkets, even if it does cost a bit more.

    Cheers!

  11. ASDA or Walmart as they are known in the good old US, at least in the states you can buy your gun and alcohol in the same store, yeehaa, Friday night beat the wife and coon hunting with the hound in the morning, fucking coons, furry vicious little cunts.

    • This made me smile, 6DV.
      I remember the very first time I ever filled up my car with petrol (I refuse to call it gas even to this day). I went into the petrol station store to pay and could not believe my eyes. A whole wall of refrigeration filled with various different beers. Yep, they were selling beer at a petrol station!!! Being a Brit this was jaw dropping to me. Must have been in 1996. So a while ago now.

  12. Asda need to check their labels.
    Bought some Viagra from their pharmacy. No effect whatsoever.
    Long past its swell-by date….

  13. Asda is a harrowing experience. Last time we were in one was when we were visiting friends in High Wycombe and it was like a giant playground for chav kids. The place was full of letterboxes, loud Dooshkas (are there any other type) corpulent waddlers, village idiots, tattooed blue-hairs and lonely men with trolleys brimming with alcohol, crisps and biscuits. The staff were either moslems or overweight natives. Noisy, dirty and everything bathed in that sickly green American Asda glow.

  14. I, for one am going to speak up for Asda. It depends on the individual store. Because I am considerably richer than yow, the Asda in my area is good. There’s a sign up that says no peacefuls, blicks or pikies.
    I’ve had a regular delivery slot for several years since I had to stop driving. We get first dobs on the food before it reaches the riff raff.

  15. My girlfriend works full time as a TA in a primary school.

    She was sent home in March on full pay therefore not furloughed and was / is free to find work if she chooses, unlike myself who’s been furloughed and isn’t allowed to find extra work and now finds myself on around 60% of previous net wage (not the 80% that ex Mrs MCCuntface believes) explain net and gross to a bitter ex if you will.

    She’s been working nights, 2am till 10am in the main.

    Every shift they have to make around 25000 picks, there busy period for home shopping is Xmas apparently where they make around 6000 picks per shift.

    So may be that gives a bit of
    Perspective but to further compound the problem whilst they can increase the amount of pickers per shift they can’t get anymore vehicles to deliver because of the lockdown.

    Catch 22 in many respects.

  16. It appears the 84 tonnes of urgently required PPE equipment due to arrive here today from Turkey has been delayed…

    What a surprise!

    Presume it will also be going into quarantine for two weeks when it eventually gets here.

    This country is fucked.

    • First of all, somebody has to sort out the stuff which will be sent out as Foreign Aid. If there’s anything left the NHS might get it. At a price.

  17. Norman,
    I look after various crinklies and I want to say a couple of things 1) fuck the govt. & 2) spend the next two days phoning Sainsburys 0800 636262. I have tried to secure food deliveries from most of our retailers and most are cunts. Sainsburys will accept your word that you are in need and put you on a preferred booking scheme without having to qualify via the govt fucked list (or at least they did). There is something reassuringly British about this insofar as I imagine the peacefuls and dindus would rather repatriate than shop there. Don’t get me wrong I am an Aldi and Lidl man myself, unfortunately I am going to have to change my preferences if this ever ends, debt of gratitude and all that. Oh and Iceland seem to be getting back to something approaching normal, but that may just be a local thing. Hope this helps. Rgds.

    • We had a sack of spuds delivered and a food parcel from a farm out in cheshire, homemade loaf,2 cabbage,2 leeks, onions, a cheese, handmade butter, and a cheesecake (raspberry)
      Fuck the supermarket.
      Buy British🇬🇧
      Support uk farmers🇬🇧

      • MNC, I have found local sourced farm produce that will deliver but fuck me the prices are eye watering, esp. if you live on a fixed income. Most oldies buy British, oranges from Spain are OK but if they see brussel sprouts from M’bongo land they look like Bilbo when he can’t get the ring from Frodo.

      • True FF, wasnt cheap but great quality, british, and fresh.
        The bread, butter and onions are going to be tested shortly in steak butties for dinner!!
        😬

      • “eye-watering” because British farmers are super greedy. The more you say, “buy British” the more they hike the prices.

        Fuck them.

  18. I bought a coat from Asda a few years back and fair play it’s good quality. I don’t live anywhere near one these days, I think my nearest is in Milton Keynes, I had cause to visit there last year, they had an impressive range of pork scratchings which I’ve been unable to find elsewhere.
    Hope this helps in these uncertain times (TM).

    • In my experience Asda are no better or worse than all the rest. I shop in every one of the large supermarkets except Waitrose, there are none of those round my way. It makes me smile the way all these companies are advertising themselves as being better than their rivals. That Aldi ad which shows fully stocked shelves is a joke which you can only appreciate when you walk into one of their stores.

  19. All supermarkets are greedy thieving vampires. Their insistence on the cheapest prices possible has been a major driving factor in outsourcing fresh food production abroad – they are all as bad.
    Went to the COOP last night to find the aisles completely blocked by two huge fat bastard dooshkas, sick of constantly waiting and the “male” taking the fucking piss by constantly walking up and down shouting ugdoogoo shite into his (obviously brand new) phone and the fat bitch who insisted on moving two feet, picking something up, staring at it, sniffing it, squeezing it, turning it around, then picking up the very same thing next to it and doing the same thing.
    So I stood in the middle of the aisle and said (LOUDLY) “stop groping things and putting them back you dirty f*ckers”! I was expecting, hoping, actually that the big fat c*nt would give me a problem, but no, just carried on doing exactly the same thing. My tolerance for foreign shit has simply gone – I hate them, and I never considered myself racist but sure as hell am now.
    Thick, loud, bad mannered awful c*nts – but I suppose it’s less time in the day for them to drive their Audis dangerously.

  20. Cases eg the McCann’s should not be able to drag on indefinitely it is not right. It has been dragging on for 13 years now. Cases must be brought to a final conclusion within 1-2 years. The police in this case have been criminally inept themselves. Hasn’t got a lot to do with the fucking Met, leave it to the country police and Interpol/Europol.

    Conclusion: Give her parents life long jail sentences, one for the abduction and two for lying about it and three for making millions out of it. Massive Cunts.

    If Madeleine was still alive she would be just coming up on her 17th birthday now.

    The same rules applies for eg Hillsborough football case. All such similar/any cases must be resolved in a timely fashion 1-2 years. If senior police officer has locked in 100s of fans causing a crush and deaths, then he must be held accountable and punished and sent to jail. It is absolutely ridiculous for ANY court case to drag on eg beyond two years.

    My parents (73) just did a click and collect from Asda, drive up in Jaguar, don’t get out of car and a spotty boy/girl loads 10 bags in the boot of car. Also have Morrisons doing home deliveries every other week.

    I am calling for an harder stricter lockdown Mon 20.04.20 fines of £5,000, suspended prison sentences. Get the disincentives and the first 1,000 persons charged on the front of every newspaper in the UK.

    I liked that advert with the bird smacking her own arse. If I’d been directing she would be wearing a g string and rubbing handfuls of warm baby oil into her arse crack.

    Asda owned by Walmart / Walton family, whom are certainly terribly massive RICH CUNTS

  21. Tesco are doing 8 hour priority slots for the extremely vulnerable, on the delivery day they give you a one hour slot. They informed me when they started doing it by email over 2 weeks ago. Seems more slots are made available when they can.

  22. All started with Assosciated Dairies…..Now some of the greediest cunts of the retail sector.

  23. Was speaking to a Sainsbury delivery driver and their scheduling is a piss take. There is so little traffic, he’s spending 30 mins sitting in van between slots or going back to depot.
    They could be doing more slots but haven’t pushed the ‘fuck all traffic’ button on computer.

    • One of my Nephews is a HGV driver, he has been furloughed and has constantly been applying for voluntary driving positions with the NHS, supermarkets, food banks, you name it.
      One response, from Sainsburys to say he had been put on a “skills database”.
      With organisation and motivation like that I am unsurprised we are running out of PPE – with 84 Tonnes being held in Turkey and not being released until we pay a f*cking bribe (sorry, release fee) to them.

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