Religion (3)

Has anyone nominated RELIGION? Yeah. Twice before, actually, but it’s fair game, so get thee cunting.

Biggest historical cause of war, death, extremism and terrorism. Especially the UN-holy trinity of Judaism/Christianity/Islam. Every religious person thinks THEIR religion is the one true, right one, and the only thing that kinda unites them all is the mutual hatred of Non-believers, Atheists, Evolutionists, Darwinists, and people who challenge their spouted crap!

Nominated by DiabloLordOfTerror

173 thoughts on “Religion (3)

  1. My Mother was brought up in a Catholic orphanage by nuns – some of the most cruel hateful b*stards who ever walked this Earth. (Children are born evil, beat and starve it out of them!)
    If there is an afterlife I would like to meet some of them, but doubt I would be as forgiving as my late Mother.
    My Mother died of cancer in 2004 and was at peace as a born again Christian, this has always given me comfort as she passed away happy, contented and unafraid.
    I asked her what gave her faith, and she explained that as a Young Woman she was violently assaulted and was bleeding to death on the operating table, and she saw herself from above being operated on, hearing the surgeon saying “she’s gone” – at which point she felt incredibly warm and heard “not yet, not yet”, she regained consciousness after the operation and told the medical staff every step of watching her operation, the surgeon saying she had died and all the conversations and procedures, by all accounts the surgeon was a devout Christian, began crying and told her he had heard a voice – in his head! – saying “not yet, not yet”, at which point her heart re-started.
    This understandably rather freaked me out, and I have no explanation.

  2. I did flirt with the idea of joining one religion – Pastafarianism.

    Psh. I must have been off my noodle.

    • I always feel bad when we slag off religion on here.
      I know both Miles and mr Polly are both catholics.
      And both BWC and Shagga beleive in god.
      I like all these fellow cunters and wouldnt like to take the piss out of respect.
      Or have a snidey dig.
      I bet if all of us were in a ww1 trench soaked in mud an hearing the screams of your mates dying, lots of us would pray 🙏
      Know i would.

      • Yep, with you on that one MNC – but I doubt it would ever happen again – imagine the hassle of delivering vegan meals, wimminz sanitary products and soy milk under machine gun fire!
        The ones we lost were the very best of us, and their like will not be seen again.

      • Praying didn’t do Jesus much good in his darkest hour Miserable:

        “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

        Besides, the sort of praying you referenced is nothing more than a reversion to childhood indoctrination, born out of desperate circümstances.

      • I dont really care Ruff.
        Faced with something like that id pray.
        Dont believe in god.
        But id still pray.
        And i wouldnt be the only one.

      • That’s my point Miserable. Praying under those circümstances has nothing to do with being religious or a belief in God.

        I once resorted to astrology, even though I knew it was bunkum. Thing is it made me feel I was doing something in the face of a situation I had no control over.

        I prayed Sainsbury’s had a bag of clumping cat litter this morning. Complete waste of psychic energy.

      • I’m an agnostic Miserable but you still slag me off!
        I can’t agree with you on this one.
        If you feel bad when you slag off religion, do you apply the same criteria to Islam. In not, then in the interest of fairness, why not?
        If you’re not prepared to challenge religious beliefs then you give these people Carte blanche to spread their ideas. It’s healthy to question and challenge.

      • Oh muslims, yeah hate them even if it wasnt a religion!
        Theyre smelly, theyre brown, and theyre greasy fucks.
        Im not religious myself Bertie, but feel bad for Miles an Shagga an others.
        You I bully because it amuses me an because its how i show you affection!😁😁

      • Evening Miserable. I suspect a lot of these supposedly ‘dismissive’ of religion are rather, deep down, angry at God. Angry about some injustice that happened to them or a broken love affair or the loss of innocence.

      • Evening Miles.
        Maybe, dunno.
        Know that ive never been preached to/mithered by anyone religious,
        But have by people who dont beleive in a god.
        Dont understand it,
        I dont beleive either but dont see the point of making a big deal about it?
        “I dont beleive in God!”
        So what? I dont care.
        “I beleive in God”
        Good for you.

      • Not all Muslims are smelly and brown Miserable. 100,000+ smelly white indigenous Muslims in this country.

      • Bloody hell Miserable. How many times have I told you ‘it’s i before e except after c!

      • I know but wasnt joking about being bit dyslexic,
        Do it all the more now out of stubbornness an spite.

  3. 4 pikeys get killed in a car crash (hurrah!) and turn up at the pearly gates. St Peter says “I don’t think we can take you lot in, i’ll have to ask the Boss.”
    He goes to see God who says “ tell them they can have a 2 week trial but they better behave.”
    10 minutes later Peter comes running back shouting “ they’ve gone, they’ve gone!”
    God says “what, the pikeys?”
    Peter says “No……the fucking gates!”

    • I’d have laughed more if it was a mini bus with twelve pikeys aboard.
      A lot more.
      I fucking hate Pikeys, when I seize power, Unkle Terry is gonna need a bigger oven .
      Much, much bigger ………..

      • Viz – “Thieving Gypsy B*stards” – classic!
        Viz were forced to apologise after publication to the self proclaimed “King of the gypsies” for casting aspersions on their honesty – then he was in Court a few weeks later for receiving stolen goods! 😄

  4. Now religion is nothing to do with me, I gave you all self determination, you can be who you want to be.
    It is perhaps an amusing experiment.
    You call yourselves cunts, trust me you are not!
    There are bigger and nastier Cunts about, you are my chosen few.
    Be strong.

    • Cheers God.
      Im guaranteed a place in heaven eh?
      By the way your sitting in my chair.

      • Put a word in for me MNC – I am a f*cker and I think God would hoof me out before I even got the chance to despoil some fiiiine lady angels!

      • Heehee, yeah skirting the rim myself Foxy!
        Why im trying to get onside with him!☺

    • Truly, we are blessed. While you’re here. You couldn’t turn some water into milk could you ? Only some panic buying bastards have cleared the lot. Pardon my French.
      Oh, and Manna, we’re right out of Manna.
      If it’s not too much trouble.
      We’ll sing your praises for evermore.

      • I have manna on my hosannahs in the mornings for breakfast.
        Sprinkled with the milk of human kindness.
        Bit bland.
        Needs some hellfire!😁

      • Evening Jack,
        Got your porridge yet?
        Noticed muesli still on shelves, but loath to eat a breakfast while openly weeping.

      • HellFire:pshot of Jack Daniels, shot of Fireball, ginger beer (not ginger ale), a little lemonade, and a slice of lemon. Enjoy.

      • One for me, one for Jack, and get yourself one Diablo.
        Lets toast the end of the world.🍺🍻

      • You having a stroke?
        Thats god getting his own back.

        “Hes not with us Lord,
        Hardly know him!”

      • If Dig would turn 5 trees into 10,000 rolls of toilet paper I’d be impressed. Oh hang on that was jeezus

    • Firstly my son invest in a new tape measure, then a few hygiene products, a diet and a trip to the dentist.
      why Sunday?

  5. Two cunts in a garden, one made from a rib, a talking snake, a knocked up virgin and a Jewish zombie….count me out….

  6. I am a great admirer of Hitchens. No, not ‘Hitch’ Peter. He wrote a book ‘The Rage Against God’. In it he argued that ‘faith in God is both a safeguard against the collapse of civilisation into moral chaos and the best antidote to the dangerous idea of earthly perfection through utopianism’.

  7. Here’s a bit of history you wont know unless you dig far enough back. The first christians, with a bible written several generations after the supposed Jesus, were gnostics. The bible was a series of allegoric stories, based partly on those of other beliefs at the time. It was the so-called ‘literalist movement’ that rose who decided the bible was an accurate account of factual history. As this movement grew, they spread word that the gnostics were false believers and heretics. THd nerve of the bastards. The gnostics were terrorized and slaughtered, and any mention of them is mostly gone. The literalists became the christians we know today, and the roman catholics. The literalists slaughtered their own predecessors, before the pagans and druids, and then their descendants (with the king) embarked on ‘the crusades’, and were the cause of the creation of the knights templar who were not entirely good and didnt do their ‘job’. Add in other religious killing through history…the nazi slaughter of jews, 9/11 (11/9 to us), religious terrorism, holy wars. Religion give hope to people, but is more bad than good.

    • What? Pubs closing? What am I going to get thrown/carried out of now?
      Bring my shooting irons!

    • I am also agnostic

      I suffer from diarrhoea

      Therefore I am also diagnostic.

      • I am agnostic
        I do not hold to gender fluidity
        And I don’t discount the possibility that deities enjoy sex, and do it with their own or binary oppositely gendered deities…erm…I think that makes me biagnostic

  8. I found this a really enlightening post with lots of interesting and thoughtful comments from Christian and Jewish points of view. I wonder if there are any Moslem ISACers. If so, it would be good to hear what they have to say because they must have thoughts on what the Islamic extremists have done to the image of their faith. I also submitted a post on Lent a couple of days ago but am unsure if it will appear.

    • You’re having a giraffe Mr Polly, aren’t you? Are there any Moose limb IsACERS?

  9. I think the good Lady may have turned religious – I came home unexpectedly today to find a Royal Mail van parked in the drive – somewhat curious I went inside to hear lots of noise from upstairs and the good Lady shouting “Oooh, God – I’m coming..
    Truly God works in mysterious ways – who would have thought a 19 Year old tattoo covered postman called Kev was a vicar?

    • There was a young lady from Kew
      Who said, as the bishop withdrew,
      The vicar was quicker
      And thicker and slicker
      And a good 5 inches longer than you

      • I love this site, never minding how bad my day was, you all make me laugh and smile, depression? Fuck off join this site, I love all…but not in a gay way..the sort you might find in a men’s cubicle…fuck off..

      • Not mine of course. Here’s a longer version orf t’interwebs:

        There were two young ladies from Birmingham,
        Shall I tell you the tale concerning ‘em?
        They lifted the frock
        And fiddled the cock
        Of the bishop as he was confirming ‘em.

        Now the bishop was nobody’s fool
        (He had been to a large public school)
        So he dropped down his britches
        And diddled those bitches
        With his 6-inch episcopal tool.

        Said one girl as the bishop withdrew
        “Not bad for a bishop tis true
        But the prick of the vicar
        Is thicker and quicker
        And three inches longer than you!

  10. Off-topic, but: Advert on tv suggesting that we walked on the moon partly because of a womans calculations. I doubt thats true at all, women in NASA in the 60’s…my ass!

    • Should that not be moonwalking Diablo?
      And I am sure Women worked at NASA in the sixties – that coffee didn’t make itself!😀

  11. Hi everyone Shaun here.Not been here much as my Dad had a heart attack recently.Awaiting surgery but no idea when.I am working at a care home at the moment so really difficult for me at the moment.Got tonight off but covering the weekend as we are struggling with staff.I am coping. by calling everyone who is a cunt a cunt out loud.

    Stay safe cunts!

  12. One of the dipshit things that anti evolutionists trot out is why aren’t monkeys still evolving. Personally, I envy primates, they don’t have to go to work, they don’t give a Fuck for material possessions, and most importantly, they don’t feel the need to invent a deity to fill an empty hole in their lives, they just live. The only thing they really have to worry about is us, and the way things are going, that won’t be a problem for long.

    • I say we are alien to this world, and we come from Mars. A theory expressed in the film Mission To Mars I believe. Every other creature on this planet is part of the natural equilibrium, and co-exists as predator and prey. Humans, we kill anything, destroy forests, plunder natural resources, and made up an omnipetent being in the sky who apparently told us we could do it.

    • Evolution isnt random.
      You’re forgetting the part about natural selection over billions of years.
      It’s very simple to understand.

    • The evolution of the human species is a fascinating one. Which primates developed and which ones didn’t in order for homo erectus to take control of the world? One thing is for sure though, we haven’t finished evolving.

      This is where the subject of our nom, religion, plays it’s part and why I think it’s a cunt, and a natural and unavoidable one as well.

      Humankind is still making the transition from primitive primate to advanced thinking man. This also means that the brain is stuck between the two. Primitive animals have a low level of consciousness and simply act and react to threat levels in pursuit of food and survival of the species.

      Humans have thus far developed a higher level of consciousness as our brains have got bigger so that now, we don’t just act and react primitively to conditions and threats around us, but we also now try to evaluate and RATIONALISE those conditions in order to make better decisions and survive better and longer. Who has seen a cat wander into the garden only to be attacked by a dog. Said cat doesn’t recognise a kennel as a dog’s home and therefore a threat maybe present, so is unable to take precautions and gets killed. Humans have developed a stage further, but the evaluation and rationalisation process is still interpreted and heard as ‘voices in the head’ from an external source.

      To cut a long story short, mankind is generally not yet fully conscious and prepared to take full responsibility for his/ her actions and needs a God to watch over him and to defer to. Full consciousness can only come with more education and acceptance of facts and science. Until then, this semi-concious state means that, largely man is able to be influenced by anyone that appears to be able to explain and rationalise his existence and why stuff happens. These people come in the form of bishops, popes, Ayatollahs and other hoaxers and cheaters that are ‘the voices’ on earth that the masses give control of their lives to. These voices of false power and mysticism then, because of perceived blind faith and belief in them, manipulate their fearful followers at will because the followers believe they don’t have any will of their own.

      The world only needs science and logical facts based on cause and effect. Organised religion is about control by hoaxers and cheaters unworthy of the power they wield. Religion, like a natural disease is a cunt.

  13. Only the Church of England counts as religion. God, Jesus and the rest of them (Noah, Dave and that) were all from England.Fact.

  14. Even though i’m a baby-eating atheist i disagree. The 20th century saw more death on a global scale than any other, yet the causes were political extremism, rather than religious.

    Also, very few political movements inspire great works of art, architecture or music,

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