National Television Awards

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Let’s give a great big annual cunting to the shitfest known as the the No Talent Awards – won unsurprisingly for the 19th consecutive year by the most irritating pair of National Twats on television, Ant and Dec. Who the fuck let these two escape from children’s televion? Even there they were stretched way beyond their abilities.

So last night we are subjected to a presenter who thought it the height of comedy to drop his trousers (Brian Rix must be turning in his grave) handing out the usual gongs to the same old tired bunch of has beens.

Is television fucked? Based on this, I’d say so…

Nominated by Dioclese

Now then , now then, how about a monumental cunting of universal cunting for this, For fucks sake those two Geordie cunts are up for the 19th nomination, for Christ sake, the hypocrisy of itv, when a drunken piss head Geordie gets nicked for drink driving he gets his bum hole licked clean and it all gets forgotten about, when a blonde female presenter gets nicked for a domestic, she gets a total cunting from everyone, itv? You’re a bunch of hypocrital cunts. Go fuck yourself ITV

Nominated by Sidthesexistsforeskin

110 thoughts on “National Television Awards”

  1. My 8 year old grand daughter could kick fuck out of both of these boring cunts on her own. Any day, any time.

    • IsaC granddaughters sound pretty hardcore. Perhaps we could have a kiddies corner…although on second thoughts I’m really not sure about some of the posters here, mentioning no names.

      • Not a good idea. Fucking kids are everywhere as it is and I am sure that we don’t need any of the little fuckers and their equally proud parents anywhere near this site.
        Fuck me, the thought of it.

  2. And the winner is…. Political Correctness for its role in Cast, Story, Technicians, Presenters, and everything else. I’d be surprised if they even let a white male serve tea in a TV studio canteen. In ten years time there will be awards for Best Tranny, Best token darkîe, Best Dooshka-Dooshka Drama (not involving drug-dealing), and Best film about chisel-faced, Feminist Bülldykes.

    • Lovely to see Ant &Dec doing what they do best, giving awards to other talented stars, this fills the gap to the Baftas dont you think?
      Hoorah!
      3 cheers for Ant & Dec!
      Hope nobody spreads that coronavirus!!😷

      • How those two gurning cunts have made so much money on the back of absolutely no discernable talent is a mystery of cosmic proportions Miserable. They truly are a pair of fuckwitted turnips.

      • Know what you mean Ron.
        But as a fellow talentless northern lad,
        Hats off to em, id like a bank balance like they have!
        Can handle my drink better, but they know how to grab the money dont they?!
        Why eye canny like!

      • We’ve reached a stage where television is almost unwatchable yet they continue to blast out awards as a kind of crafty marketing ploy. Absolute bollocks. Who believes any of this gimmickry anymore.

        Evening gents.

      • I dont care Cap, do a crossword or draw a picture, im alright jack,
        2 series of ‘curb your enthusiasm’ to watch👍👍👍
        Genuinely funny!
        Maybe some salvage hunters as well.
        Your not one of those ‘radio nuts’
        Are you?

      • Sometimes, our Les. Though we have to be more discerning than ever now.
        I caught a bit of “Curb…” but I thought it was a bit too Jack Dee for my liking.

      • Yeah dont like Jack Dee, seems a bit to ‘southern’ for me, type of bloke wont give you directions, doesnt wave back,
        Hates having ‘good morning’ said to him.
        Type who only gets muddy when having a facepack at the spa.
        Scared of dogs.
        Thinks hes ‘cosmopolitan.
        Has dinner parties.
        Likes coldplay.

        Hows that for profiling?
        Never met the cunt, but ive got his number!

        Discerning? Whats that?
        Your not trying to seduce me into your vegetarian cult are you?!!😀

      • Christ on a hoverboard Misery, you’ve had your insult vitamins tonight, haven’t you. Have some batsoup and calm down, buttercup.
        🎩

      • Hehee! Working my way through the whole gang! Can tick you n Blunty off the list now!
        Get tiresome just teasing Fiddler,
        (Love ya all really😀💘)

  3. Speaking of the telly, I see that good old Auntie BBCunt is getting rid of 450 posts in a bit to save £80m.
    Here we go, here we go!

  4. The only time I’ve tuned in to watch these cunts deliberately was years ago, in the early days of that, ‘I’m a celebrity’ shit, as it had been leaked that in that evening’s episode there was to be a twist to the usual format and a kangaroo was going to eat one of Fatima Whitbread’s testicles….

  5. Many years ago my wife – even then a soap addict – used to vote every year for Noele Gordon who played a prominent role in Crossroads for a little bauble called the TV Times Personality of the Year. Miss Gordon won the award for 12 years running but then the magazine decided she would be excluded from the coimpetition in future because it wasn’t fair to other nominees.

    Surely after the amount of time this pair of wankers have won (are they irons by the way?) they should be excluded as Miss Gordon was.

    Emmerdale “Soap of the Year” – surely it is either fixed or a fucking joke? – that is the worst of the lot

      • C’mon now . Crossroads was comparable to anything Shakespeare had written.
        Who could forget Amy Turtle , Benny and Miss Dianne.
        David Hunter and Vince Parker were the Bards of the 70’s.

    • I’ve always treated Merdedale as comedy. At least you get a bit of lezzer action, albeit v mild. Now Graham’s been killed off, he’d make an ok Bond guy. Charity Dingle would look hot in a skimpy wet swimsuit. Paddy looks an improbable vet – unless of course Josef Mengele had a brother who was one that is.

      Apologies for the Roath CF24 comma in last sentence (ie none whatsofeckinever); we noo speakee eenglish round ere.

      Ant and Dec are some sort of trans-species meerkat fuckup. Not difficult to imagine them bumming, is it ?

  6. A parade of cunts?
    On TV you say?
    Congratulating themselves again?
    Was Linikunt there?
    Thank fuck for other diversions,such as twatting myself over the head with a hammer.
    Jesus.
    Just fuck off.

  7. Cunfest.

    Cunfest.

    Admin dear (I’m sure it’s explained somewhere), why can’t one use a single word as a comment?

    When clearly in the interests of brevity, Cuntfest describes a mass gathering of cunts, when one really doesn’t have the time to write reams of sycophantic drivel to congratulate the nominator on being so bang on target?

    PS: Looks like I might have had time after all. 🖖🏿 Live long and prosper etc.

    • It stops wankers like me posting inane youtube-style one-word nonsense, which has no substance or contributory value, just because they can think of nothing else and want to be involved like:

      First
      Me:
      You:
      Yay!
      Smiley Face

      Instead posters have to actually think whether they have anything to add rather than joining in for the sake of it.

      • Broad Church is IsAC! It genuinely gives me pleasure to experience the contribution from fellow posters, some very intelligent and articulate people on here – it reminds me of being on a bus on a school trip to somewhere we don’t want to go but all the passengers are giving the c*nt in charge of the trip intelligent grief!
        (Except for me of course, I am not too bright, I just enjoy free speech!)

      • `just because they can think of nothing else and want to be involved like’

        Looks like I’m guilty as charged, I’ll get my coat.

  8. Does anyone think the world would stop turning if we didn’t have NTV, BAFTA, Oscar, Golden Globe and whatever else this bunch of cunts dream up.
    They are all cunts, who fucking cares who wins an award, all you hear is not enough nominees from some minority bollocks.

    If the awards didn’t exist no one would give a fuck!

    • I think there ought to be more awards but for politician soap stars rather than TV ones. Take Mangledbum and Adonis for example or Bent Bradshaw or Lloyd Russell-Moyle – they dream of winning an Oscar. Or a Nigel or a Rupert – or even a Manuel.

  9. I heard Eastbenders wanted to have a fight with Emmerdale on the grounds of “we wuz robbed” but they decided to get pissed on the free booze instead.
    Or was that something made up by the trash media to excite the kind of cretins who give a flying fuck who wins these cunt awards?

  10. Cunt and Dec again, deary me.
    You can tell the ‘Actors’ who attend this pile of cunt know its bollocks and that their career’s as Actor’s have failed as they have only reached the shite height’s of national TV.
    I caught a bit of Eastenders over the Christmas and it was total shite, I haven’t watched it for 15 years at least and I know why…no doubt it’ll win an award for having a tranny pub landlord.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • I haven’t seen it since the 90’s B&W, Ahmedabad Square more like since they are so keen on representing modern British society.

      • Haha exactly LL, the Queen Vic should be replaced with a Mosque and The Caff should now be an Halal Butcher called Alan’s Snackbar.

      • The only times I’ve watched Eastenders in the last 15 years has been for the sole reason to knock one out whenever Lacey Turner appeared. She’s never in it now, so no reason to endure the load of PC bollocks that it is.

    • “Queen Vic, no prick”
      Should I get my cock cut off to fit in? (No pun intended!)
      What the f*ck happened to “normal”?

  11. Ant “more lives than Schrödinger’s cat” McPissStain and Declan “Tefal heed” Donnelly are the epitome of talent that this country has to offer.

    When up against such TV giants as Gemma Collins and Davina “don’t take about the drug habit” McCall, is it any wonder these “fisherman’s bobber” turds float to the top of a festering pool of diarrhoea!

    All awards ceremonies are excuses for virtue-signalling these days. Talent is no longer important, it all about how many rungs up the totem-pole of victimhood you are.

    All this bollocks about there not being enough (insert any perceived victim group here) being represented in the XYZ awards is just shit.

    The Oscars copped for it when no split-arses were nominated for Best Director. Here’s the thing – cunts – if a great movie was directed by a split-arse then it WOULD be recognised you dumb cunts!

    Lost in Translation – split-arse.
    Zero Dark Thirty – split-arse.

    See, it can be done. Base it on merit, not woke tears!

    Just imagine when a tranny rocks up to win Best Actress, the socio-homo-globo fuckers in the audience will be clapping like seals, while privately, the real split-arse nominees will be sat there thinking: “That’s not fair! It’s a bloke with a bit of lippy and a dodgy hairdo!”

    Fifty-faced Cunts!

    • I reckon we are the victims here.

      We are victims of woke society, we are the most victimy victims in the whole of victimisation. Therefore we should probably get some benefits, maybe a celebrity endorsement and some fluffy kittens to pet and some chocolate, in a safe space full of jazz-mags, real ale, fags and strippers … maybe have some calming video of a French person being chased down and killed by a bear accompanied by some eighties Trance music.

  12. Did Lozza Fox win anything? That would be fucking hilarious.
    I caught a bit of Lewis the other night and he acted ‘Neville man’ off the screen.
    Perhaps these cunts are the love children of Whately and Jimmy Nail?

  13. All awards shows are pointless. Ricky Gervais killed it off with his “Come up here and accept your award then fuck off” speech. They should have an obligatory showing of that before all ceremonies.

    Hoo-ee, bunch of backslapping cunts.

  14. My 8 year old grand daughter has never heard of ant and Dec or the Beatles. Telly is a redundant thing. She has heard of Churchill , free speech, freedom of association and Freedom of expression all those dull thing that make all this possible. “Little cunt” as it were .

  18. I read that 3.8m watched this self congratulatory horsepiss last night.
    In the world of cuntism this is interesting in as much as we know that apart from the many cunts nomned on here that there are at least 3.8m others in Britain minimum.

    • Heehee nice speech by Farage, what did that gyppo say?
      “Kathleens bike, tarmac yer drive?”
      See eu later

    • Should’ve told the swamp they weren’t averse to the Union Jack in 39-44. They want to be the 4th Reich so badly? Lie in your bed then you cunts.

    • McGuinness and the other cunts in the EU can all FECK OFF.

      61st birthday on Saturday, and first day out of the EU. What a fantastic reason to celebrate.

      • Evening Admin

        Have been trying to post a nomination on the Nomination page but so far without success. Just disappears. Not even into moderation. Several attempts at regular intervals.

        Any particular reason you can think of? It does include a couple of paragraphs about a current public inquiry.

        Many thanks

    • EU Parliament votes overwhelmingly for the Brexit Withdrawal bill. Well they would, wouldn’t they? It’s a great deal for the EU.

    • Verminhoftwat mentioned the liberation after two world wars.
      That must’ve hurt him. Odious gobshite.
      My Baedeker guide to Belgium says a Panzer can cross it in 20 mins…
      Of course, the fenians never hated anyone; they just killed them, or kneecapped them. McGuinness is Verhoftwat in drag.

    • Mairead Mcguinness.. Thanks, RTC. Didn’t know her name but guessed she was a taig by her look of disgust at the Union flags! Sour-faced old cowbag.

  20. Well said Sir Nigel.
    “We should not hate anyone” the bitch said. She forgot to say “except the British, obviously.”
    Fuck the EU and that bastard Verhofnazi.

  21. The only good thing these cunts have ever done is when the little one shot the lanky one in the eyes with a paintball gun.
    It wasn’t real though …. unfortunately.

    Evening cunters….

  22. Evening sausage, you winning mate?

    Just seen a article online the even handed Guardian, that benchmark of impartiality,
    About brits rushing their plans to move to Spain before the ‘brexit drawbridge goes up’.
    Well, nothing like patriotism is there?
    For these traitors, because thats what they are, i wish you no luck whatsoever, hope it goes tits up for you an you live out the rest of your years in sundrenched poverty.
    Dont come back.
    Your not welcome here anymore.
    Your not my countrymen
    Your not British
    Your traitors an a embarrassing bunch of cunts.
    Toodle oo👆

    • Evening mnc…. yea all going great at the moment mate. The move to humberside was a blinder, love it up norf… Too busy, but better to be too busy than not busy enough I guess…
      How you doing mate?

      Yea I remember those “ex pats” or IMMIGRANTS as everyone else would call them, when I went to spain. They live there for 20 fucking years and can’t be arsed to learn a word of Spanish and want nothing to do with the native population…. remind you of anyone?
      The cunts wont eat fresh fish and shellfish just caught from the med… no. They want pie and chips or a roast. In 40 degree heat….
      Cunts.

      • Welcome to Humberside pal, though it doesn’t actually exist anymore. Great place to live.

      • 👍 cheers mate….
        Hull is a great place to live. It’s not swanky or pretentious or up it’s own arse….
        Just good english people. Mostly.

    • Spain? Sound, say hello to the Guardia Civil for me.
      Inadequate in a real gunfight, so I hear! 😄

    • As far as I’m concerned, if going abroad only = Ethpania, then they are boring fuckpigs.

  23. Couldnt think of anything worse,
    Exiled.
    Truly upset me, worst punishment i could imagine, never to set foot on good old blighty….
    Not joking when i say i love this country, greatest country in the world.
    Humberside? Passed through working but don’t know it well,
    Glad you like it mate!👍👍🇬🇧

    • Fess up MNC – your real name is Jacques Napoleon Custeau, and you are in our great Country searching the coastal waters for the wreck of the Spanish Armada!
      Where are they? Where big Frank left them – bottom of the f*cking sea!

      • Busted! Yep, my real name is jack custard.
        Dunno about spanish Amanda though,
        If she drowned its nowt to do wi me!
        You well mr Fox?!😀

  24. I realised around the age of 12 that ITV is generally aimed at spastics. Heartbeat was the first clue. Dreadful programme aimed at senile pensioners.

    My wife is a spastic with a first class degree with honors do you?

    • My favourite band.
      Nicely chosen Jack!👍
      Your in charge of the Jukebox when we open the ISAC Arms workingmens pub!
      All cunters first drinks free,
      Smoking room,
      Pool table,
      Stripper on Friday dinnertime.

      • Good evening Norman.
        Music does seem to have gone downhill in a big way. I’m afraid we’ll never see the likes of Zeppelin, Vanilla Fudge and many others, ever again.
        As for The 1975, apart from being shite, their distasteful and disgraceful attempt to capitalise on the Manchester Arena bombing, was fucking despicable.
        Utter Cunts.

      • In fact, the frontman should be strapped into a real suicide vest and be remotely detonated.
        Twat.

    • He quoted Shakespeare. Did he know that the recipient was a kaffir? Who fucking cares. Sick of these offended cunts.

  27. Fred, you useless fucking couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a howizter fucking clown of a cunt… The cunt couldn’t score in Hamburg with ten grand up his arse…

  28. What fucking cunts ITN are. Should fucking stand by him. He was only quoting Shakespeare not calling the fucking angry ape an fucking angry ape ffs. Morgan is right; everyone has to be sacked/cancelled/deleted/no-platformed etc etc. It’s seriously got to fucking stop!

    • ITN are indeed cunts… People had more freedom of speech in Nazi Germany… Stewart gets carpeted, yet that chocolate novelty Stormzy can slag off pooves and say all sorts of shit and no cunt bats an eyelid…. The stench of liberal hypocrisy is becoming unbearable…

      • He quoted Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure to a black man. He was offended.

      • Thanks,
        Although everything that jug eared goalhanging tax dodging cunt Linekunt says offends me i’m gonna keep looking out for something concrete to get the cunt the fucking sack , I loathe the bastard

  29. I heard about this programme on the radio the other day. Apparently there is an award for best TV judge . No, not the legal kind , the singing contest type.

    My brain actually has difficulty assessing the pointlessness of such a thing it’s so bad. Which cunt comes up with this?

  30. Have to laugh about ITN taking the moral high now when they failed to suspend him from Police Camera Action the first time he was done for drink driving.

    Drinking driving is obviously not woke enough for them

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