Juliette Binoche

Unappealing French film actress Juliette Binoche is so much of a politically correct shithead that she wants to apologise to Brazilians who may have been descended from (wait for it) her great, great, great grandfather. Apparently, her ancestor had a relationship with a black slave in Brazil in 1820 from which children were born. M. Binoche then returned to France and took his family with him.

Now Binoche, in an interview with a Sao Paulo newspaper, jumps to the conclusion that dear old great, great, great grandfather raped the girl, although she has no evidence whatsoever to justify this. It never occurs to her that bringing the family back home shows that her ancestor may have had a stable relationship. Otherwise, he would just have dumped them.

So big hearted Binoche wants to find out if there are any Brazilian Binoches around so she can say she´s sorry for what great, great, great grandfather did nearly 200 years ago. Even if she finds these people, has it not occurred to her that her apology will not only be patronising but imply that these people should not even exist? Quelle chatte!

BTW, if you want to see how bad an actress she is check out the laughable film “Damage” with Jeremy Irons and a ludicrous sex scene in which they wrestle on the floor to the creaking of her skeleton-like body.

Nominated by Mr Polly

68 thoughts on “Juliette Binoche

  1. I saw her in Antigone at the Barbican a few years back – she was fucking shite. I fell asleep.

    • What a fucking haggered bag of bones. I bet she creaks when she moves worse than my garage door.

      Being French (well, 31 parts French/1 part Brazillian), I’ll bet she eats snails & doesn’t shave her pits – the dirty cow.

      I doubt I’d find her appealing on a cold night, even if she set herself on fire.

  2. I agree with Julie Binoculars, her grandad forced that bird to have a brazilian an fiddled with her.
    The filthy old bastard, all frenchmen are (allegedly) rapists and cowards.
    I think julie should do the right thing and serve his belated prison sentence in san Paulo nick.

    • I imagined she made a documentary called Julie’s Binoculars, where she travels the world looking through people’s windows and then apologises when being caught looking.

  3. Never heard of her; and I’m sure I’m not alone on that score.

    Clearly a washed up old hag of an actress who wants to be back in the limelight for 10 seconds coming out with this tired old “I’m so so sorry!” trope.

    One wonders if she was so sorry during the height of her “fame” (whenever that was)? But of course it just wasn’t fashionable to be woke back in the day was it!

    I wouldn’t even want to shove my tongue up her a-hole (a barge pole perhaps!)

  4. I understand her problem. My Great-Great-Grandfather Rear-Admiral (and part-time pirate), Horace “Clamsbeard” Foxchaser-Fiddler had it away with a Dark-Key while “civilising” Rhodesia…that is how I came to be related to Robert Mugabe…it was dreadful….he and his wife turned up at The Towers armed with machetes and tires,said that they were seizing my vast acreage as reparations! Luckily, I managed to summon The Hunt and we had a tremendous day’s sport chasing an elderly coloured Gentleman(dressed in a Morning Suit,for some bizarre reason) and his bewigged female for miles across the Fells….lost the blighters when they got to the forestry unfortunately…they took to the trees,screamed defiance and chucked faeces at the hounds and I before swinging away through the tree-top canopy shouting the vilest of insults at us..”You um fucking veggie” was one particular slur that still cuts to the quick.

    Fuck Off.

    • PS..I’d have been up Juliette Binoche like a rat up a drainpipe thirty years ago…not now,obviously. She’s a fucking crusty old biddy of 50 odd and therefore is no longer attractive.

      • Most recently seen in the weird sci-fi film “High Life” wherein she plays a spunk-obsessed doctor on a spaceship who likes to frig herself off on a massive metal dildo-equipped sex chair in graphic detail. Not even as erotic as it sounds, which isn’t very.

      • Didn’t that lucky cunt Fiennes have to chose between prime-era Binoche and K.Scott-Thomas in the English Patient? And was knobbing Francesca Annis in real life? As the Bard of the Trainsets once sang ‘Some Guys Have All The Luck’

        Incidentally Scott-Thomas is on TV soon in My Grandfathers War. Jeez, judging by the trailers, she’s become a razzled old tart.

      • He already has. Titled:

        The Cunting Postman Had Fucking Well Better Not Ring Twice If He Bloody Well Knows What’s Good For Him, Bastardising Wanker.

        Still available in all degenerate book shops.

      • Well hopefully it will be turned into a film (and not a shite woke social justice affair either!)

        Just trying to think of a good lead actor to play the role of Mr Fiddler? Clearly it must an actor of good stock & breeding, not just any old oik!


    • What was a ‘rear’ (a euphemism for tradesman’s entrance activity?) Admiral doing in land locked Rhodesia? Me thinks he was catastrophically off course.

      • He sailed straight up The Zambezi…no mean feat in an aircraft-carrier,I’m sure you agree.

    • Well I never Mr Fiddler, I always knew you were one of the brothers.
      Do you carry a big Ghetto blaster playing Hip hop whilst on a hunt?
      Embrace the blackness. 😁

      • Alas ,B+W Cunt….all I have to show for my dark-key gene is a worrying desire to tongue Diane Abbott’s arsehole….you,I have no doubt,secretly fantasise about the same.

        Is it coz we’s bleck?

      • A dark secret desire harboured by many a dark key Mr Fiddler, I have tweeted The Flabbot directly and she’s invited me over…she said she’s going to wear her leopard print underwear…can’t wait.

    • Rhodesia is landlocked. Had the Rear Admiral lost his actual compass as well as his moral compass?

      • We Fiddlers have never been ones to be troubled by details….hence our ill-fated attempt at soft-fruit farming in Greenland…Green indeed…it was nothing of the sort.

  5. She looks like that banana bint in Shakespeare’s Sister. I’d have stuck my tongue up that one, no prob.

    • Christ im getting slow. Took me a while to click on what you meant there RTC. Mind you, any of the original Bananas meet my unfussy expectations 🍌.

  6. It’s just standard practice these days for rich fuckers in the public eye to apologise for being rich by harping on about white privilege or how us peasants are destroying the planet. In fact it’s becoming so standard it’s getting fucking boring. Shut your fucking cakehole you old scrubber. If you’re so guilty about being rich give your dough, your French Chateau and your property portfolio to me you old whore. Either that or fuck off and die.

  7. On a serious note, I have it on good authority that some of my distant relatives were also involved in our colonisation of some of the African countries way back in the day. As such, I feel a sincere apology is long overdue.

    After all, if they hadn’t dragged the cunts out of the trees and educated them they’d still be up there shagging their own sisters and flinging their own shit at enemy tribes; as such I think the Um Bongos should apologise to me at the first opportunity for casting nasturtiums at my family. Anytime you’re ready lads.

  8. Back in the day, I’d have banged it ‘til it couldn’t bang no more. Alas, time has moved on, not only for Juliette’s looks but also for my levels of testosterone.

  9. Her surname may suggest she has a predilection for giving oral pleasure, i.e. giving a ‘nosh’.

    Alas, I don’t think this Gaellic snowflake has ever played a tune on the purple bedflute, instead being preoccupied with ‘social issues’ and eating stinky cheese. Part, parp!

  10. The absurdity of my great great great great grandchildren apologising for me. The future cunts can go fuck themselves if they are reading this. Cunts.

  11. Let’s turn this situation on its head. I am sure that one of my ancestors did something that contributed to mankind. I demand (that phrase is becoming the starting position of the woke) that everyone on the planet pays homage to me.

  12. Apologies, to me are only good at the time of occurrence of incident.
    For example if I bump into someone. “Oh pardon me”. It’s being polite.

    But if I or someone else apologises on my behalf several years later what’s the point? It doesn’t change anything. The moment has gone.

  13. Nowt else to do but dream up bedwetting bullshit to spout to any cunt daft enough to listen then serenely waltz off in a limo.
    Mental bitch.

  14. This poor cow is obviously going through the menopause and her hormones are all over the gaff.
    I think she needs a good fuck, that’ll sort her aaaaht, and maybe a bit of arsehole tonguing…if it ain’t garlicky…well she is French.
    Go fuck yourself.

  15. Juliette knobnosh is without question a cunt but it’s hardly surprising as actors are the by far and away the biggest virtue signaling cunts walking the planet , I care not a jot what the old French whore has to say , I feel the same loathing towards Emma Thompson who flys into London to tell ( Normal) people they shouldn’t fly as it’s killing the planet, rosanna arquette apologising for her white privilege, or that wanker de Niro who threatened to deck trump! , for some unfathomable reason these actor cunts think their opinions carry such gravitas, that legions of fans look to them for moral guidance , what the narcissistic cunts will never understand is just because you make a few films that people enjoy it doesn’t give you the right to preach to them , but worst of all the shit that falls from their lips is all designed to keep them in favour with the “ right “ people……
    Utter cunts

  16. Don’t know much about this woman. Sounds like a Libtard cunt. Looks like a tranny. Fuck off.

      • You may regret that statement when in years to come it is unearthed to scupper your chances to become Labour member for Islington South.

      • I’ll have converted to snackbar by then CC and I’ll be Ayotollah Khan’s right hand man.

  17. Silly old vache. It’s all getting a bit cloud atlas now. How about she apologises to British and US servicemen who lost their lives liberating her country because the soft cunts shit themselves when the Teuton’s arrived. And apologise to them again because their sacrifice was in vain as years later you welcomed the hun fucks to take control anyway. Merde tete.

  18. Madam, surely no apologies are due, I am sure your forefathers were merely indulging in fostering good relations and promoting the fact of Frenchmen being the worlds greatest lovers a fact which can only be proved in consummating the deed itself, furthermore it has been long understood the native girl indeed craves a taste of imperial yolk evidenced by the fact this individual was given passage back to France in order to no doubt feast some more from the fount of the imperial sword, a most satisfactory solution for all. If in time the passion is diminished no doubt more nubile native girls could be shipped in.
    I think your forefathers behaviour is entirely natural for the times as indeed is your own behaviour so typical of today’s in that you crave attention not by doing anything yourself but by the virtuous slighting of others so you can achieve a day or two’s saintly reverence, you madam are a cunt worthy of no further mention, if you do wish to make amends I suggest you make yourself available for legions of Brazilian cock

  19. Fuck me, did that hit the back of a parked bus? the old tarts let herself go. No wonder #metoo passed her by, unless it was a very short sighted swordsmith.

  20. I have a number of French films in my collection and she’s not in any of them. Can’t remember the first film I saw her in but I determined to make it the last. Same goes for that big dopey-looking cunt Gerard Depardieu.

    • Depardieu was pretty good in a film called ‘The Closet’ with Daniel Auteuil, but then he did play a dopey looking cunt in that amiable farce.

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