Up until recently i’ve never been in one of these places in my life. Partly because I was told they were shit but, mainly, because I know they are a Kraut company and those bastards dropped bombs on my Mum and Dad. Never forgive, never forget.
Anyway, about a month ago one of these cuntholes opened up about 400 yards from me so I have been along to sample their wares, as you would expect.
Firstly, there is no doubt they are cheap, you can’t deny that.
But what do you get for your money? Fucking shit as far as I can see. Their meat, vegetables and fruit are tasteless crap. I can’t forget the “King Prawns” I bought. Zero fucking taste ….. i thought I was chewing on a mouthful of condoms. ( unused ones obviously)
The only things I buy in there now are the stick loaves (which are very good to be fair) and cans of wifebeater which are much cheaper than the Joe Daki shops.
What do we learn from this?
(1) no cunt gives you something for nothing. You get what you pay for.
(2) Never trust the fucking Germans.
(3) That’s it. What more do you want? Fuck off.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

100 thoughts on “Lidl

  1. No your right Krav, so ill stop any mention of that era if its upsetting you.

      • Evening Rtc, watching something on sky Arts about drummers.
        Moon, Bonham, Ginger baker, loads!
        Drummers discussing other drummers!

      • Evening Miserable.

        Sky Arts eh? how the other half lives!

        Drummers are cool…

        Along with those you mentioned, some more of my favourites:

        Billy Cobham (Mahavishnu Orchestra)
        Ian Paice (Deep Purple)
        John French aka Drumbo (The Magic Band)
        Mitch Mitchell (Hendrix Experience)
        Robert Wyatt (Soft Machine)
        Nick Mason (Pink Floyd)
        Damon Edge (Chrome)
        Jaki Liebezeit (Can)

        That’s enough for now. 😊

  2. A little known FACT s that both Lidl and Aldi require lorry drivers to unload their own vehicles when delivering to their stores and not their own warehouse staff so the poor old lorry driver rather than get a break after a 3 or 4 hour stint behind the wheel has to unload as well ,this is not the case in the majority of other supermarkets. Aldi and Lidl also copy brand packaging shamelessly no doubt to con the consumer, they are both privately owned German companies so all the profit ends up in the hands/control of their owners unlike the big British supermarkets which pay out dividends to shareholders many of which are pension funds paying out your pension, A particular bug bear of mine is it seems they always get planning permission to build slap bang on or next to a roundabout causing traffic chaos I wont comment on the quality of or good value of their provisions but will I say they have dubious practices and as a matter of principal will not shop in them, though I did like Netto when it was around

    • Know from experience sainsburys has their staff unload the delivery rather than the driver.
      Netto? The fruit used to rot as you left the store! Wasnt a fan.
      But Aldi? Cant really fault it!

      BUY BRITISH!🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

      • I do try to buy British a good part of my shop is looking on the packet to see where the damn thing comes from it is very revealing particularly with soap, especially what were classic British brands Wrights Coal Tar now made in Turkey and Pears soap from India !!!!

      • I try to avoid buying anything made in China, but its not easy.
        I couldn’t give a fuck how they treat their people, but its eating dogs that stretches my wires.
        I wouldn’t be surprised to find freshly slaughtered dog at lidl, they had kangaroos meat. It wasn’t bad actually.

      • I won’t even feed too to my dogs, too strong an iron taste unless curried and then I’d just get lamb which is cheaper.

  3. The best thing these cunts have done is make Tesco and Sainsbury up their game. These are now better places to shop because loads of gypsy cunts are down at Lidl or Aldi and a whole load of their prices have been reduced and you can if your savvy make the nectar card really work in your favour. Eg Always getting £15 of a sixty sheets shop vouchers. So thank you krauty you have made my supermarket cheaper and emptier and I thank you for that.

  4. Can’t be doing with people who are rude to shop staff,waiters,bar-staff etc. They are normally on low wages and have to work hard for their money. They don’t deserve to be patronised by some Cunt who thinks that he’s clever.

    Fuck Off.

    • Waiters and waitresses, your mad to upset them, for one theres no need,
      Two only a fuckin idiot upsets someone who can spit or worse in his food!
      Always be polite always tip, cant go far wrong!
      Evening Dick
      Any flooding round your way?

      • Evening,MNC.
        It’s actually not been that wet up here at all..unusual for us. Probably piss down tomorrow when I’m out cutting fucking Christmas trees all day.

      • Well its battered it down here!
        Rivers swollen bursting banks etc
        Cutting Christmas trees?
        On your land or for someone else?
        Know probably not much fun cutting them all day but do love the smell of them!
        Have a real tree every Christmas with missus whining about needles ‘get none drop’… But buy the one thats dripping sap and smells the best!

      • Not on my ground. Over in Durham. I’ve been going for years to do the maintenance,planting and cutting for the family whose ground it is .An Irish friend of mine comes every year and takes an Artic load…always pays cash and I split it with the landowners.

      • This year I will be spraying my tree all over with hair spray to hold needles in place.

        I hope this doesn’t react with the fairy lights!

  5. Bit of a redundant cunting this one. Who in the name of suffering fuck cares one shite about the decor/staff/other punters in their local supermarket?

    • I do when some snot nosed kid drops his half eaten free help yourself fruit in the freezer cabinet and mummy just strolls on by

  6. The zombification plot is real. They’re already two thirds there with the Zuckerberg-controlled palm-screens and the MSM controlled (ie SOROS FUNDED) TV. The third angle to the Isoceles Triangle of Doom is to get everyone addicted to the brain-altering additives in the Kraut’s cheap supermarket shit. Chowing down on beans and ‘sausages’ made from God knows what factory floor sweepings. Angela Merkel was a test-tube baby, the spermatozoon progeny of you know who.

  7. You’re flat-out buying good food in any supermarket. What with carcinogenic additives, genetically modified produce and dairy products produced from mad bloody cows, I am constantly surprised my piss doesn’t glow in the dark. It’s the same out here. No Lidl, but Aldi are springing up everywhere and unless I want a bumper pack of 864 bog rolls from Zagreb for a fiver I boycott the Krauts with extreme prejudice.
    Fuck ’em.

  8. My cat won’t eat their cat food and my dog won’t eat their dog food. So I thought that’s good enough for me. But then I remembered my dog eats cowshit.

  9. I once saved a bee’s life with a drop of Coca Cola. Don’t think it was from Lidl though.

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