Farting in public

If farting in a public toilet doesn’t make the grade for ISAC, then farting in public should be considered.

At a previous workplace, some dirty fucker had the habit of letting one go then doing a disappearing act. His anal utterances were of the ‘silent but violent’ variety, they didn’t just hum, they sang soprano. He would then come back into the office after about five minutes, thinking that no one knew it was him – dirty cunt.

On another occasion, I was in an airport departure lounge, when some bloke walked past at speed and emitted a thunderous BRRRAAAAP!!!! Imagine my horror when I saw that same cunt boarding my plane.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

106 thoughts on “Farting in public

  1. A bag of dried apricots and a couple of satsumas will open the very gates of hell. Let rip after that and the stench would dissolve diamonds. No curry known to man can even come remotely close, worse than cat farts!

    I have, on more than one occasion, prepared thusly prior to meetings I really don’t want to be in. One thing I pride myself on is my sphincter control (don’t over do the satsumas. Serious warning!) let out an SBD or two and watch the fun.

    Can be a bit hindered by the watering eyes but I’ve made people gag. Chew on that you cunt!

  2. Oh come now! Anyone who is not amused by a well timed fart is either a frosty faced cunt, or German! I proudly admit to dropping the silent but deadly ones on escalators, then look at the faces of my fellow passengers as they glide as if on ice, into the ghastly stench. Ah yes, I remember very well, a couple of venomous Brussel Sprouters I handed out to a couple on a bench in Salisbury! One of them perished, but thankfully I was able to point the finger of blame at 2 Russians who happened to be on a sightseeing tour.

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