Chris Martin. The cunt’s cunt.
His latest offensive behaviour is the decision not to tour the world promoting a new album, so as to reduce their carbon footprint. What a virtue signalling cunt. I hope it flops miserably, or maybe it’s just another load of embarrassing crap. Not that I’d know anyway, as I couldn’t name a single song they’ve ever recorded, even with my balls connected to a taser. I am vaguely aware of a sort of fey mewling being their signature method.
Of course the silly cunt has flown to safe and sunny Jordan to film a show, because there’s no pleasure in doing this from cold and windswept Middlesbrough is there? Look out for some Palestinian tub-thumping on behalf of Corbyn.
This cunt has it all: a consciously uncoupled (eh?) Hollywood ex-wife, kids with stupid names (no doubt bullied for that at school were they in the U.K.) and highly probably some Remain-voting, ‘meat is murder’ sort of cunt who we all loathe.
The music is dreary shite too.
Nominated by Isaac Hunt
How dare you imply that this cunt makes music.
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Never heard of him
9
You might recognise him as the singer in the group Coldplay?
Or there again maybe not.
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Why is it every time one of these enlightened rich cunts makes a statement about their commitment to the environment, they have to fly half way around the fucking world to do it? Hasn’t one of them worked out a webcam isn’t just for wanking? I have so few holidays, I’m fucked if I’m going to cancel one to offset your globetrotting virtue signalling you cunts.
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Chris!
Chris!
Oi chris!
Christopher!
Chris!
Hey Chris!
Your a cunt.
Prince Andrew was asking hows the kids!
A Apple a day keeps the doctors away…
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They always manage to land in a nice warm country as well to do it. He should put his money where his mouth is and make the annoucement from Lerwick on a normal wet damp drizzly day in November, or up Ben Nevis in January.
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I’m not sure if Mr Nevis would take too kindly to that.
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I’ve not flown since ’92 and since I’m skint the only way I’ll ever fly again is with Undercarriage Airlines, destination dependent on where I fall out. These cunts fly more often than I can afford the bus then expect us to give them plaudits for being ‘environmentally aware’.
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Swinson is under fire for her 77 flights in a year, as she jets between Scotland and Westminster. Way to important for the train. I’d fly too, but then I wouldn’t moan about other cunts doing it. Toothy harpie hypocrite.
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Problem being the trains probably named the Flying Scotsman, now if it were renamed the Flying Gender Neutral Tranny Express it shouldn’t be an issue to use the train
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So it’s true, pigs can fly.
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What do you call a Canadian singer with a tiny cock..?
Justin Beaver…..
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Krav will be in tears 😂
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As long has he has a nice tight arse hole it will be fine
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I doubt he would
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JR, don’t mention Justin. I reckon Krav has something similar to Spiderman’s spidey senses.
“My Justin senses are tingling!”
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Well beavers do like to chew on wood just can’t get enough of it
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Absolute first class cunt 🤮
Coldplay an absolute pile of shite 👍
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Gets better. He is going to vote for Swineson, and according to him, God is the answer to everything!
Jesus H Christ, what a supercunt.
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Fuck, I knew he was delusional, but that seals the deal. Rubber room the cunt, before he manages to poison another mind.
Another solid gold cunt, Kanye West is now using god as a way of making cash. Like a new age evangelist, he is holding Sunday services for the slow and the stupid. Cretin, if that cunt wants to do mankind a solid, put down your silly bible, pick up a large calibre pistol, and retire your cash and cock whore wife and extended family before joining them, like the cult leader you aspire to be. Reverend Kanye? Jim Jones for the new millennium.
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He found God again when he finally realistically appraised that awful empty headed vacuous devoid of any true feeling wife of his and thought to himself-‘there must be more to life than this…’
That’s what happened.
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If he had realistically appraised the situation, he would have gone for the tabloid friendly ending I proposed. A more likely scenario is that he was getting pissed off that the slag was making more cash from plugging tat and half showing off her fat arse and titties, and looked for a demographic even easier to fleece than the morons who follow that dreadful family.
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I think I would rather get into bed with the bible than his sack of onions wife
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Let’s not forget that this shower of dreary cunts have a new album to flog. Bullshit and hypocrisy sells records.
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That gives me the horn.
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Are you part of the session band then ?
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Robbie Williams is doing some sort of Christmas ‘bum…
I kno feck all abite ite, and care even less…
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“Bullshit and Hypocrisy” would make a great title for an album.
Could be a no 1 Christmas hit for Jezza and the Gonads.
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From what I’ve heard of it, it’s an even bigger pile of dreary guff than their earlier stuff.
Martin’s a cunt, and a fucking boring one at that.
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He’s definitely on top of the cunt chain is Chris cunt ex wife cunt kids (cunt names anyway) whining virtuous cunt ,curly cunt hair probably voted for the green party cunts. Yep he’s a real apex cunt.
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Now THAT’S a cunting!
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My God, I thought I’d put the horrors of that afternoon behind me; at rehearsal once and the keyboard player started whacking out the piano riff for “C(l)ocks” followed by “I quite fancy doing doing thi… urk… gag… choke” How can I forget the blood, the horror, the senseless waste of beer and ammunition. In the end we compromised and did Karma Chameleon instead.
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He’s had his ears pierced – ergo a cunt by default.
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Let’s hope that he didn’t wait while they did it.
Arternoon, Ruff
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Yo Ron!
If you had a couple of boat hooks you could rip his ears off simultaneously. 😊
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I suppose having one ear pierced is alright, but both on a fella, I’m not so sure.
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It gives me the fucking heebies when you see cunts walking about with those circle things the size of a saucer wedged in an enormous hole in their lug. Wtf??
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Flesh tunnels I think they’re called. It makes shudder when I see someone with those.
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Fucking moronic. Now back in maaaaah day, the words ‘flesh tunnel’ were synoymous with the type of hole you couldn’t get enough of…
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It’s somewhere for the AA to attach a tow rope when the cunts break down.
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Seeing babies with pierced ears freaks me out as well.
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Sorry spoons but im all for babies rights to have piercings and tattoos,
Gives them a head start in expressing themselves!
5
A heart with ‘mum’ written on it on one chubby arm, and an achor on the other arm?
Don’t forget the usual misspelled word tattoo as well. ‘I was born an angle’ haha 😀
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Or a snake wrapped around a dagger, cut in with a rusty sardine tin or neck of a smashed rum bottle, coloured by squeezing a live squid over the wounds.
Now THATS a tat
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I believe they are used as hand holds for the use of bare back riders indulging in a spot of bum banditry
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They’re for tying the wearer down in high winds
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Soy boy, cuck ,knob cunt. Perfect virtue signalling poster boy for his wank stain generation.
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I wonder where are the rest of the cold play band members? Did he sack them? Have they disowned him?
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They were never real.
They were figments of Chris’s imagination.
Hes a very sick boy.
Multiple personality complex.
He thinks his family is a fruit salad.
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I think Apple will end up in the same recycle bin as peaches
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I wonder if there’s a daughter called Plum ? Crab-apple ?
Or maybe even a son…
2
I have never gotten Coldplay.
This preachy-whiney bunch of charlatans seemed to fill the void left by the unofficial battle between Oasis and Blur (after their popularity fizzled out).
Fittingly their first “hit” – Yellow – landed in 2000 thus making them the original snowflake millennial band, and they’ve always been a set of on-message, self-righteous cunts. None more-so than Chris Martin.
This smug “warbling voice like a pit canary in the last throws of gas detection” cunt has always been “green” and a mega-socialist (it’s easy to be a socialist when you’re minted – just ask JK Rowling, Lily Mong, Gary Linekunt, etc.), and the band’s sales have benefited greatly from it, because their music is woeful.
You know how shit Coldplay are when the Ginger Gremlin says he was inspired by the fuckers!
Also, explain this: Brad Pitt or Chris “fucking” Martin?
Now I may not be a crafty butcher but I reckon judgement would see Pitt well above Martin, so what the fuck was Gwyneth Paltrow thinking!?!
So they’re in Jordan now. Lebanon isn’t far from there. Surely there’s a few Hezbollah going spare for a trip over the border?
I mean, they could even watch the concert first if they wanted to?
NAH!!!
5
Spent yesterday copping a load of Dvorak and Elgar on youtube.
Decomposition has its advantages.
Dvorak once drank a whole bottle of Scotch, thinking it was some sort of wine; Elgar used to have his own chemistry lab in a brick shed in the garden.
If some of today’s cunts had done that, we might have been spared a load of dreck – they’dve been dead in their early teens.
As I have Barenboim in the dead pool I hope he dies somewhere boring and unglamourous…
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I thought chris martin was that fella who fixed tractors and raced bulldozers or was it that fella who shot that pikey burglar cunt, getting a bit confused here
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Tony martin very handy with fiddlers elephant gun!the other one who drives anything with wheels is guy martin
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A wimp of a man although I liked it when he sent himself up a few years back when Ricky Gervais was interviewing him.
“Can we hurry up? Gwyneth’s cooking tonight. Chicken drumsticks.”
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Maybe it’s an easier decision when you’ve already got millions?
4
Very well crafted.
Just run him over with an Iranian tank.
Send his shitty music to North Korea for nuclear test site obliteration.
Make all his friends drink crude oil.
To celebrate this fucking m.ongs demise fly Greta round the world 1st class on a 747 99 times.
I do not like this cunt at all.
Get fucked.
5
“I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield,
My missionaries in a foreign field.
For some reason I can’t explain
I know St Peter won’t call my name
Never an honest word,
But that was when I ruled the world”.
Now, if that isn’t the nonsensical ramblings of a pretentious, ego-crazed dickwad, I don’t know what is.
Tosspot.
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The lyrics, what the fork do they mean?
My head hurts.
4
For a moment I thought those last two lines were on the song, made sense of it.
3
He’s a little like Oymandius crumbling in the desert, except that he never had greatness
2
Martin is a virtue-signalling cunt.
Here’s a way to reduce his fucking “carbon footprint”: Don’t buy his carbon based vinyl albums or styrene based CDs. Likewise, no downloads, due to the energy requirements of the storage servers, internet and home machines
Not only “de-carbonised” but free of this irritating, whining, holier-than-thou bag o’ shite.
Not so much Coldplay, as Won’t play. I’ll bet the wealthy champagne socialist wankstain is a Fuhrer Corbyn fellator too.
6
Heard him being interviewed some time ago. Sounded like his brain was attempting to exit his body via his mouth every time he spoke.
Boring cunt to a man. I bet he is so boring that Gwyneth Paltrow appeared a beacon of giddy excitement in comparison. No wonder she went on the hunt for more charismatic twig and berries.
4
I’ve got massive respect for Coldplay for their commitment to the climate crisis. To give up touring must take incredible self discipline and personal sacrifice. How do these guys do it.? 😉
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Surely following Gretas example he can mount a world tour by sailboat. London tonight, Cape Town 6 months time, Tokyo another 7 etc
3
I had a shit,
I had a shit for you.
It was all I’d do.
And it was all yellow.
Jo Swinson sang,
Jo Swinson sang for you.
And she’s a big cunt too.
And she’s all yellow!
I swam across,
I jumped across for you.
Cos I’m a cunt like you.
Now Chuka’s all yellow!
—-
Fucking lyrics – easy when all you need to do is whine!
Cunts!
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Chukaduckie has been telling lies apparently – telling London that the only 2 parties that can win the general election are the Conservatives and the LibDems. I don’t think things are quite that bad for Labour yet, but I suppose Umunna is indulging wishful thinking, while he shits himself at the thought he will lose and have to find a real job, poor little cunt. I want to see him have his Portillo moment, along with Granny Grieve, two of the most self-serving motherfuckers in parliament
2
I’ve been Humming Coldplay songs all day, very catchy tunes. Believe that, you’ll believe anything.
2
Coldplay the musical equivalent of piss “and it was all yellow”
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Music for bedwetters.
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