Tom Allen is a smug, self-satisfied, snide little cunt. Who is he you say?

Well, he’s one of the new breeds of comedian – which is newspeak for he’s not funny. He’s a regular on shit panel shows, like ‘8 out of cunts do cuntdown’ and now apparently, so my lady friend tells me, on ‘The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice’ with Jo (John Sergeant in drag) Brand.

With his affected, wannabe upper-class accent and his natural talent for looking down on everyone who isn’t him, he has firmly established himself as being a complete cunt. Being a spiteful, poisonous little queen in a smart suit doesn’t make you funny sir. It makes you a spiteful, poisonous little queen.

Given the fact that he looks like ‘Brain’ from the 90’s cartoon ‘Pinky and the Brain’ (I grew up in the 90’s, so please indulge me. You’ll find the resemblance is uncanny) he shouldn’t be quite so smug and quick to put others down.

Also being gay isn’t a substitute for a personality. I’ve a friend who is gay and he’s fairly straight acting. He hates the gays that live up to the stereotype.

In his own words he said that Kenneth Williams did the haughty, sneering old queen act better and that Tom Allen is taking the gay stereotype back to the days of John Inman and Frankie Howerd. But no doubt the MSM will think he’s fucking brilliant and worship the ground he minces on.

He’s probably sort of cunt that would read this website and then use it for his own material.

If you’re reading this Tom: you’re a cunt.

Nominated by Harold Steptoe